WARNING
long post ... you have been warned haha.
So I haven't posted on here since early to mid February. I don't even know if people remember any of my post (feel free to search and read through them if you wish). Basically since February I haven't been to church, I've been busy with work and school. But I have a few updates and another request.
2 HUGE Praise reports:
1) I'm finally graduating from college this December. I started college in the fall of 2008.
2) I've finally realized what I really want to do for a career and I've got that fire and passion burning inside. I'm sure there are people that will understand what I mean.
But what brings me back here is this:
The girl that I spoke of a year ago is now engaged to be married early next year. She got engaged after dating her boyfriend for 6 months. I'm happy for her but she wouldn't even allow me to be happy for her.
THANK GOD ABOVE THAT HE DIDN'T PLAN HER FOR ME!
Its clear to me now that He has a much better plan. Am I sad that things played out the way they did? Yes. Am I happy for her? Yes, very much so. I hope for a lifetime of happiness and hope they both look to God for their marriage.
That's what the past year has taught me. I'm almost completely career driven these days. But I've still got that feeling deep down that I'm more of a relationship driven person. As one member on here told me a year ago, if God didn't plan for me to be with someone, wouldn't He have given me a different desire.
That being said, I've run into an old friend. She and I always seemed to be drawn to one another. I always wanted to ask her out and date her but I felt inadequate; felt she was out of my league. Anywho, I've run into her several times in recent weeks. But what was really strange is that out of the blue, I had a dream that she and I were together, and it just seemed that everything fit and fell into place. I awoke the next morning and just shrugged it off, it was only a dream, right?
Well, two days later we ran into one another again at a tailgate at my university. We talked for a while about how we were doing, updates on school and life, smalltalk, and took a photo together and both agreed that we should hang out sometime. She left and that was that.
Now I was tailgating with some friends and some of their friends. One of the friend of a friends bulldozed me with questions after my conversation with the girl ended. Literally the conversation, "Oh my God, you really like her, don't you!? Have you asked her out? You should ask her out! Have you asked her out yet!? You really like her!!" This blindsided me as I just met that girl 30 minutes earlier.
But then I began to wonder if God had given me that dream and subsequent conversation with her and the girl I met two days ago as I sign to take a leap of faith. And now I'm really perplexed by the sequence of events; especially the dream.
I'm not nervous persay, but more of ... its hard to explain. There have been two women in my life that I truly cared about on more than a physical level. Its deeper than that. One of them is now engaged to be married. The other I'm told I "should definitely ask out." I know that a "God please let her like me" prayer doesn't work. God's plan is bigger than that. If he answered all those prayers, I would have been married with kids at 16. But I would really like this one to work out. This girl is more like one that I would settle down with. She's also very VERY strong in her faith, and I find that to be a HUGE positive. I actively seek that out in a girl. She's also independent, opinionated and doesn't define herself by anybody else.
Things might work out between us, and they might not. But my prayer is that God's will be done and that if she is the one He designed for me, that I not be a moron and let it pass me by, or be a fool and take her for granted. I've done a lot of self discovery in the past year since I joined this site. The thing I've accepted is that I am nothing without God's love. I know I don't live as best as I could, but He loves me still.
I'm very appreciative of all my brothers and sisters on this site. There are many prayer warriors on here and the power of prayer is some amazing.
God Bless. Love you guys!
long post ... you have been warned haha.
So I haven't posted on here since early to mid February. I don't even know if people remember any of my post (feel free to search and read through them if you wish). Basically since February I haven't been to church, I've been busy with work and school. But I have a few updates and another request.
2 HUGE Praise reports:
1) I'm finally graduating from college this December. I started college in the fall of 2008.
2) I've finally realized what I really want to do for a career and I've got that fire and passion burning inside. I'm sure there are people that will understand what I mean.
But what brings me back here is this:
The girl that I spoke of a year ago is now engaged to be married early next year. She got engaged after dating her boyfriend for 6 months. I'm happy for her but she wouldn't even allow me to be happy for her.
THANK GOD ABOVE THAT HE DIDN'T PLAN HER FOR ME!
Its clear to me now that He has a much better plan. Am I sad that things played out the way they did? Yes. Am I happy for her? Yes, very much so. I hope for a lifetime of happiness and hope they both look to God for their marriage.
That's what the past year has taught me. I'm almost completely career driven these days. But I've still got that feeling deep down that I'm more of a relationship driven person. As one member on here told me a year ago, if God didn't plan for me to be with someone, wouldn't He have given me a different desire.
That being said, I've run into an old friend. She and I always seemed to be drawn to one another. I always wanted to ask her out and date her but I felt inadequate; felt she was out of my league. Anywho, I've run into her several times in recent weeks. But what was really strange is that out of the blue, I had a dream that she and I were together, and it just seemed that everything fit and fell into place. I awoke the next morning and just shrugged it off, it was only a dream, right?
Well, two days later we ran into one another again at a tailgate at my university. We talked for a while about how we were doing, updates on school and life, smalltalk, and took a photo together and both agreed that we should hang out sometime. She left and that was that.
Now I was tailgating with some friends and some of their friends. One of the friend of a friends bulldozed me with questions after my conversation with the girl ended. Literally the conversation, "Oh my God, you really like her, don't you!? Have you asked her out? You should ask her out! Have you asked her out yet!? You really like her!!" This blindsided me as I just met that girl 30 minutes earlier.
But then I began to wonder if God had given me that dream and subsequent conversation with her and the girl I met two days ago as I sign to take a leap of faith. And now I'm really perplexed by the sequence of events; especially the dream.
I'm not nervous persay, but more of ... its hard to explain. There have been two women in my life that I truly cared about on more than a physical level. Its deeper than that. One of them is now engaged to be married. The other I'm told I "should definitely ask out." I know that a "God please let her like me" prayer doesn't work. God's plan is bigger than that. If he answered all those prayers, I would have been married with kids at 16. But I would really like this one to work out. This girl is more like one that I would settle down with. She's also very VERY strong in her faith, and I find that to be a HUGE positive. I actively seek that out in a girl. She's also independent, opinionated and doesn't define herself by anybody else.
Things might work out between us, and they might not. But my prayer is that God's will be done and that if she is the one He designed for me, that I not be a moron and let it pass me by, or be a fool and take her for granted. I've done a lot of self discovery in the past year since I joined this site. The thing I've accepted is that I am nothing without God's love. I know I don't live as best as I could, but He loves me still.
I'm very appreciative of all my brothers and sisters on this site. There are many prayer warriors on here and the power of prayer is some amazing.
God Bless. Love you guys!
