I am crushed

My fiancee has apparently left me without a word of explanation. I haven't heard from her in over 6 weeks. I must be the dumbest man on the planet to have held on this long. Her last communication was fine, certainly no Dear John letter, but no communication is worse, because you keep thinking maybe all is almost well, maybe an injury or some bizarre but rational reason will be there. But I have reached my limit today. I am broken. I can't get any work done. I fell asleep praying after staying up way too late last night/this morning, and then had to answer the phone early. God help me. I would prefer she had just said something, anything to let me know if she decided to move on. I have no way to know if she is dead or alive. This is the worst. The not knowing. Please God, why can't I just know?


12/6/12 Please view my updates before responding.



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I am greived over the loss of my relationship with my best friend and fiancee. She slowly began isolating herself with her family in late June, and then simply cut off communications for about 7 weeks, only to send a rather cold, "I don't want a relationship anymore" email.


I love her. I hurt. But if this is not what God has for me, I pray God will help me to not linger longer than He wills. I responded in the most kindly way I knew, and I believe God will bless that in the long run, and I feel the need to continue to pray for her at this point, but to not have ongoing communications with her unless she initiates the contact.


I don't want to fight God or pursue this relationship any further if this is not what the Lord has for me. I entered the relationship in good faith, and I have treated her with the utmost dignity and respect. And I am deeply wounded. However, if this is just one of those passing trials in an ongoing relationship, then pray I have my focus on His will, and that I am patient in my anticipation of how our great God will bring about the reconciliation. And either way, pray I am gracious in all of my communications with all peopole at this time, and do not use this as an opportunity to be malicious or vindictive towards her or anyone else, as I'm under heavy attack (wow is the devil trying hard to get me to lash out and be ugly).


I do believe her family has become an idol for her, as she says its the most important thing in life. Obviously this is wrong, as God is always most important, but she doesn't see it. So please pray the Lord delievers her from that idol, and any others she may have in her life.


I thank you for your kindness to me and the prayers you offer on our behalf.

And Red, a special blessing for you, as you go through this as well. I truly understand the grief that burdens you.

God bless you all,

OMS

"I will enter His courts with thanksgiving in my heart. I well enter His courts with praise. I wIll say this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice for He has made me glad."

All praise be unto God our Father, His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and to His Holy Spirit, through whom we are comforted.

I really need prayer here. The attacks are constant. The temptation is to be cruel and hateful, and my mind is flooded with suggestions on how to get even and the battle rages on. God help me.

I want to thank my faithful brothers and sisters who have lifted their voices to the throne of grace, to intercede on my behalf and my friend's behalf, before the Lord of Glory.

My friend sent me a message today, asking forgiveness for the pain she has caused, and saying she would like to stay in contact, and noting several times how God blessed her through me, and how she still values me greatly.

She is stuggling to find herself, and her place before the Lord, so I ask that you continue to lift her up, that she know our God better each and every day, that she drink up the pure milk of the word, that she may grow, that she put on the full armor of God, praying with all prayer and supplication, and that she hide His word in her heart, as she studies to show herself approved unto God, and rightly divides His word of truth, through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I could not have endured the trials as well as I have without your prayer support, and I want you to know I am deeply humbled by your love and compassion for me. May the Lord bless you all.

I know God has allowed this to deepen my faith, and to allow me to have a tiny glimpse of the rage of Satan against Christ when He walked the earth.

I look forward to the new challenges, to the different type of relationship I will have with my friend now, but mostly I know and rest in the knowlege that God has a plan, and is looking out for our best interests, both hers and mine.

Again, thank you all, and may God multiply these blessings back upon you all. May you know the fullness of our God's love, joy, and peace this day.


Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.


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