Please need prayers and help for my hocd

bless your heart! i pray you are on the right track getting a christian counselor.
they can help with comforting and wisdom scriptures, and they can pray with you.
i have a christian therapist too. he has taught me alot. anyway. welcome to christianforums! xo dee

I also happy you are seeking some help for this. Let me just say this is a very common OCD fear, and it's essentially groundless like the rest of them. Part of what might help you at least settle this one in your mind a little is to simply say "so what" to these fears. You believe that this is not God's plan for peoples' lives. I agree and would say that even if the "feellings" for some people for the same sex are there, I think they need to battle them. Not just acquiese and say that's "how it is." Does that make sense? However, most people struggling with HOCD really don't even struggle with homosexual feelings. It's just FEAR of it. OCD in other words. My advice, here is just to consider any such thoughts then meaningless. Just say to yourself that you've made your decision, your life course to live as a heterosexual person is set. No argument. Doesn't matter. Thoughts to the contrary are irrelevant.

I'm also posting the link to a thread which addresses much the same scenarion. Hope it helps.


http://www.christianforums.com/t7492298/

You mentioning you use to have a be afraid of urges to do things. Since you say mention that I remember I had some of those too. In praise in worship when I would raise my hands, I would feel like I had the strongest urge to do an obscene gesture with my middle finger, and I would fight it, and then in my minds eye I could see myself doing it. Which felt as bad as doing it. I'm not a massacist but whenever something bothers me, I feel like I need to do it more to "get over it". So instead of letting the fear keep me from lifting my hands to God, i would do it more and more. And eventually after a month or two it when away. I guess I get to the point to where I know I won't do it and I just stop caring. It is just like what kaykay said, you need to have that "so what" attitiude. Not saying "so what, im gay", but saying "so what if my mind accuses me of being gay because in my heart I know i'm not". If you obsess about something long enough you will convince yourself of the worst. For a while I use to think that if I didn't have a huge emotional reaction over "bad news" then it meant I was evil. So I obsessed about it so much that I convinced myself I was evil and I thought I had to "feel" a certain way to convince myself that I actually cared. For example if my wife called and said "did you hear that there was a car accident and someone died", and if I didn't "feel" extreme remorse within 1 second I thought I was cold and evil and emotionless. I got to the point where i said, "bad news makes me sad, no matter I feel extreme remorse or not". And that part of my obsession have really normalized. It will get better for you when you first realize you aren't gay, not matter how you "feel", and get an i dont care attitude about the situation. It takes a little while but working on it will get you there.
With an obsessive mind, you can pretty much convince yourself of anything, no matter how much proof you have of the contrary.

Nickieb03 said:

Thank you everyone for your prayers. I'm trying so hard to kick this HOCD. I keep telling God that I do not want a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman, I want to be with a man...I want a husband and children...I always have and I always will and I love my boyfriend to death and it's just getting too out of hand now. I've been thinking of killing myself because I can't handle it. I do not and will not be with a woman. I can't stand it...it's killing me on the inside..I keep forgetting what my boyfriend looks like and I have no feelings towards anything anymore. As if this left me numb and alone. I know you just don't turn gay and I never was before so I don't know why it's doing this to me now. A few months ago my boyfriend and I were talking about moving in together and I had the most wonderful butterflies in the world and we were talking about getting married and my heart was set because this is the man I love and then BAM this happens and it's killing me. Please keep praying for me...

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If you are to the point of feeling suicidal, even a little bit, it really IS time you seek counseling about your OCD. I can only say again that your struggle is with OCD, not homosexuality. Please either seek some medical help and/or some counseling. There is help out there. Praying for you.

one thing I've learned in dealing with ocd is don't go by your feelings. i bet your feelings run rampage with you when you think you are gay or want to be gay,. think on this. don't go by your feelings go by what you know to be true.

I know the ridiculous thoughts we get when we have OCD and that is what they should be regarded as, plain ridiculous thoughts. I get all kinds of weird thoughts at times and I just try to ignore them as best I can. I am also on medication.

Praying for you, Nickie.

God bless,
HeatherG