Creepers.

Simi-Blind post!
Has anyone seen the movie Bridge to Terabithia? There are a few scenes in that movie that make me extremely uneasy. The teacher at one point picked up the young boy and they went to the library together. They had an interesting chemistry with each other. It was extremely pure and kind hearted, but because of how society is today, that logic can be twisted to mean something more disgusting. And, I really disliked that I felt uneasiness due to that fear I have built inside.
Over the years I have become even more protective of children. Keri, I rather be safe then sorry in such a case. However, it is extremely hard on men nowadays, and its even more difficult that someone might want to help a child, but questioned continually. This behavior is surfacing even more so now then ever, and has damaged a lot of relationships men can have with children, because there are individuals that continually hurt children and get away with it.
If I were there, and I sensed something, I don't care for hurt feelings, my own sole motive is to protect that child.
But, I also want to add that, Radhead is correct, there is too much fear and because of that fear we have become numb. Our own childhood of playing in the street until it was dinner time, is almost nearly gone this day and age. Children are not growing up to be children. They are being taught that there is the boogeyman and he is real, and when you see him, this is what you need to do to protect yourself. Children, are now more and more emotional damaged. Children, more and more experience depression, anger, and hate, at a very young age. Children grow up fearing the world, and continually saying "NO!" because that is the only way they can survive and fight back.

It breaks my hear that I have to teach a 4 year old how to control their emotions because they are growing up in an environment where they don't know how to handle, regulate and understand who they are, because the adults around them how no idea how to do it either. If I can't provide a safe environment, who will?

Instead of implanting fear, we need to teach! Without knowledge, and without starting early enough, the fear will grow into something more powerful that we can't control.

Keri said:

I know that males can truly care about children. You also have to consider that there is a nearby mental hospital for California's top sexually violent predators. I used to WORK there. I've read HUNDREDS of charts about what these child molesters did to their victims and where. You wouldn't believe how many of these offenses occured at parks and playground. I will not take ANY chance.

I don't care if people label me wrong. Call me whatever you want and judge me however you want. It's the safety of children in my care that matters to me most.

Click to expand...

You did nothing wrong!
I would let you babysit my kids just for that reason.

I've seen "Bridge To Terabithia" and I also found that part of the movie extremely weird. Some young, hot female teacher taking a teenage male student on a "field trip", just the two of them? Uh, NO, not appropriate. It wasn't you, Eth, and it isn't any ridiculous societal fear; it was just plain inappropriate.

.

Bridge to Terabithia was a really good movie. Not cause of that scene (which didn't creep me out at all), but cause of how well the actors played the characters.

Using the Terabithia scene for my part in this discussion, it bothers me that it's gotten to the point where this is creepy. Here you have a teacher/a woman taking a student (who has a crush on her, but she's not aware of that) to something he is genuinely interested in; something he may want to do; she is exposing him to something that may positively influence his life---but yet it's "inappropriate". Nothing bad is happening, but we're ready to accuse and jump on the teacher for bad intent: even though she is helping him. It sucks that it's like this.

It sucks that it's got the point that when your an assistant in teaching sunday school, and you see that all an upset child wants and needs is a hug, you can't give them it.

No one is accusing the teacher of bad intent. I didn't think her intentions were bad. I thought her judgement was inappropriate. I doubt you'd want a 25-ish handsome male teacher taking your 13 year old daughter somewhere alone. And we're not talking about a 30 minute run to McD's, this was an all-day event.

Keri said:

So I was at the park today with the girls I babysit. Ages 4 and 9. And I was watching both of them from about 10 feet away while they were playing. The younger one is trying to climb on this statue and is having a hard time. Before I can go and help her, this random guy walks by and picks her up to help her on and I flip. I yell to him, "Um EXCUSE me, SIR. DO NOT touch her." I got over to her really quick and grabbed her and put her behind me. I gave him the nastiest look. This mom near me was really confused and I told her, "How dare him touch someone else's child." He wasn't even there with kids, he was just hanging out around this playground.

The guy went to a bench and sat there, and the whole situation was creeping me out. From that moment on I was within one foot of the younger one, and let the 9 year old have a little more space, instead of watching both of them from a distance.

I'm super protective of children, especially female children around unknown adult males. I don't think I overreacted, but some people might think that I did.

I was so upset. That same mom and I talked later and she asked if I had anymore children, I told her that the girls were not my children, and I don't have any yet, I was just their babysitter. She said, "Wow, I thought they were yours. You are very protective."

When it comes to that kind of situation, yes I am.

Click to expand...

If it was clear that the child in your care was in danger and he was "at hand" to help her immediately, then yes you over-reacted. Whether the girl in your care was in danger of bodily harm (from possibly falling off a statue too far off the ground perhaps?) is not real apparent from your post.

If this was not the case, and the man is a complete stranger alone in a child's park, I would say that you acted appropriately.

As a male, I never touch female children who are strangers, not even to ruffle their hair- as I might do with a young lad. The only exception would be if they were in danger, or if I was not a stranger and the touching was instructional from a teacher's POV (such as it was sometimes when I taught piano).

.Vicky. said:

No one is accusing the teacher of bad intent. I didn't think her intentions were bad. I thought her judgement was inappropriate. I doubt you'd want a 25-ish handsome male teacher taking your 13 year old daughter somewhere alone. And we're not talking about a 30 minute run to McD's, this was an all-day event.

Click to expand...

I'd make sure I got to know this teacher before I came to any conclusion, and I'd set some guide lines up if I was allowing it. Now granted in this day and age this situation likely wouldn't befall us.

I'm sorry if I came off as harsh or attacking in any way in my post, this type of situation frustrates me a lot; from both side's (I have been asked before what my motives when I've been acting as a caregiver, which isn't a good feeling at all; and I've had to keep an eye on the signs for someone who may be a 'creeper'). I miss the days where you could just let your kids play on the front lawn and street till supper time; I was one of those kids.

I don't think you over-reacted at all. There was no reason for him to pick the child up. Being a victim of child molestation, I can assure you that it's always best to trust your instinct and be over-protective. A child can be molested in the split of a second. Even if he was innocent, it really does not matter. We just live in a world where unfortunately, you can't take these type of risks when it comes to the protection of children.

Keri said:

So I was at the park today with the girls I babysit. Ages 4 and 9. And I was watching both of them from about 10 feet away while they were playing. The younger one is trying to climb on this statue and is having a hard time. Before I can go and help her, this random guy walks by and picks her up to help her on and I flip. I yell to him, "Um EXCUSE me, SIR. DO NOT touch her." I got over to her really quick and grabbed her and put her behind me. I gave him the nastiest look. This mom near me was really confused and I told her, "How dare him touch someone else's child." He wasn't even there with kids, he was just hanging out around this playground.

The guy went to a bench and sat there, and the whole situation was creeping me out. From that moment on I was within one foot of the younger one, and let the 9 year old have a little more space, instead of watching both of them from a distance.

I'm super protective of children, especially female children around unknown adult males. I don't think I overreacted, but some people might think that I did.

I was so upset. That same mom and I talked later and she asked if I had anymore children, I told her that the girls were not my children, and I don't have any yet, I was just their babysitter. She said, "Wow, I thought they were yours. You are very protective."

When it comes to that kind of situation, yes I am.

Click to expand...

I don't think you overreacted at all. These days with all the sickos out there, you've every right to be protective.

You shouldn't touch any other kids who aren't your own.

Blind post:

GQ Chris said:

You shouldn't touch any other kids who aren't your own.

Click to expand...

Amen, brotha. I know I would've freaked if some random guy picked up my child (or the child I was babysitting).

Keri said:

This is the park we were at. See the orca statue? The 4 year old in my care was simply leaning against it, standing on the front fin (which is not visible in the picture). The dude, walked UP TO HER, grabbed her, and tried to set her on the statue, she started to slide off the side and he caught her. All of this happened in a moment as I nearly ran to her side, and was telling(in a VERY serious raised voice) him to let her go, and do NOT touch someone elses child. She was not in danger, she was simply playing around the orca statue. He basically took it upon himself to "play" with her. NOT cool.

Click to expand...

you should have tasered him and karate chopped his face off


K
O
f

A "smirk" sounds like an expression someone might make if they were annoyed or disappointed in the way someone acted towards them.

Keri said:

This is the park we were at. See the orca statue? The 4 year old in my care was simply leaning against it, standing on the front fin (which is not visible in the picture). The dude, walked UP TO HER, grabbed her, and tried to set her on the statue, she started to slide off the side and he caught her. All of this happened in a moment as I nearly ran to her side, and was telling(in a VERY serious raised voice) him to let her go, and do NOT touch someone elses child. She was not in danger, she was simply playing around the orca statue. He basically took it upon himself to "play" with her. NOT cool.

What really ticked me off, is that he didn't even say sorry or try to act innocent. He walked away with a smirk on his face and sat on the bench in the picture on the left and continued to watch. As to not alarm the girls, they didn't really know what was going on, I directed them to the egg shaped things and then a few minutes later led them away to a farmers market type thing set up in the grass in the distance. He was gone when we came back to the playground.

Click to expand...

uh yeah, that would get my radar up as well. so not cool.

radhead said:

A "smirk" sounds like an expression someone might make if they were annoyed or disappointed in the way someone acted towards them.

Click to expand...

you're thinking of a sneer, a smirk is more gloaty in nature

K
O
f

Totally off-topic, but that is one awesome playground lol.