Would it be wise to just

completely stop talking about marriage and the future with my boyfriend that i do plan on marrying? Because all the uncertainty of whether it will be soon or later or whats going to happen in between depresses me. =(

Well its like all the uncertainty, "well im going to college in August and going to be gone for a year" I had trouble with that but I learned to deal with it. Then it changes too "Oh its actually 2 years" I had LOTS of trouble with that but I was trying to deal with it. Then its like "oh well maybe I can marry you before i go and you can come with" oh wow that sounds awesome, but what about my family-well I will always be coming back...thats okay, YUS! "The spring time would be good!" So then i start talking about my wedding and it being in the spring time then he "oh well I was planning on going to college in January now" oh...but that means we dont get married ...in the spring...more like 2 years... "yeah" cant you just wait about 6 months after that so I can go with you? "i dont know I just want to get it over with" cant you get it over with, with me there?

just this all over again and again, quotes being what he says, paraphrased......

Its like =((hsgoidhfg


And I am enjoying my present. Its jut my hopes are being brought up and then crushed down then bought up and then crushed again. =(

I already sent him a message...which he will not get till Saturday....
But told him that I dont want to talk about marriage anymore at least not right now, because its just like getting my hopes up then turning into a let down. =(

christianvolume said:

slightly off subject. But Pre-Marriage councling decreases chance of divorce by like 60%, when ever you guys are ready I 100% recommend pre-marital counceling. You learn so much God's plan for your marriage and your roles. I know you guys haven't arn't enganged yet and not sure if you are ready to talk about it. But when you are ready to talk about, I would def bring this up in the conversation. Praying for you!

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hehe To be honest, we already discussed who we wanted to marriage counsel us. And yeah I would like to read a few devotional books with him BEFORE hand you know? I just feel like it is a necessary thing so we KNOW what we are getting into and just know what to expect...or better yet, what not to expect.
Thanks for the pray, much appreciated!

Autumnleaf said:

Get married and be together if you want. Long distance relationships tend to fail.

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I dont want to here that latter sentence. =( Because that it a big possibility of whats going to happen, having a long distant relationship.

While I dont have any doubts about our relationship failing, I just dont want him to be /away/ from me, for so long.

And I cant just get married to him if I want, he has to be ready and so do I. While I am ready, he is not. Or just waiting for the right time is what is holding him back. Which is good, but also hard. As a human I hate waiting. And well I am very impatient as a personality trait too soooo....

Im working on peace and contentment I really am!

DoctorJosh said:

You Truly do have such a good heart. I can't imagine what a woman truly feels about such a big event as a wedding, it can be stressful in itself yet even waiting for the decision on when to marry or all the other details. I know first hand that if a man waits too long to ask a girl to marry him that Loves him, she will begin to wonder and doubt what is on his mind. But..if you two Love each other, be patient with him and give him time to figure out his plans with you together. He may be more concerned about making enough money so you two have have a nice wedding and a honeymoon together. That is usually the mans first concern, having enough set aside so there is a honeymoon, a nice wedding ring, maybe even a limo to go in the airport in. It is a once in a lifetime event and the man worries just as much as the woman and wants it to be a day that will live on in memory as well. Don't get too frustrated, or let him know the money thing doesn't matter as much or you two can figure out a nice honeymoon, a ring, or the expenses of other things as they come. Then its the job and getting time off, or college will start soon, or the time frame for everything to happen and get a place together. Work with him on all these and give your ideas to help, it can be stressful for both, but compromise and work together as a team and it will work out nicely. God Bless.

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Well I know its college, finances that are holding him back. And I am glad he has our future in his mind. But I want him also to have my happiness in his mind. Which I am sure he does...but I dont know if it is selfish of me to want him to have my temporary happiness in mind more then me future happiness. Like I said, I am impatient. But what I suggested before in another thread, if we do do the next year how I planned, we would not have to spend money on a living space, because we will either be road tripping or at the summer camp, and in between I dont see the problem in living at my parents house until we finally move to Texas. I mean I know life isnt that easy but...if we try it might work. But I just dont know how much he is compromising...or how much I am compromising.

He once told me that he waiting for me and I should wait for him. (which I would and will do) And what he said as of waiting for me was, I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first love...and I have had boyfriends before him and get my first kiss away to someone other then him. (I had only kissed one other person before him once) So thats true he waited out for what he thought was the right person...for 18 years. And so I should be able to wait 2 years to marry him. :/ WHICH I WILL, I WILL, I WILL. I just dont want all this fickle time being thrown around so I can actually know whats going to happen so I an learn to deal with it and feel at peace with it.

I will have to talk to him some more...I mean not so much on the time because I dont want to talk to him about that right now. But just where we stand, if that makes sense?

Like my mind is trying to tell me, whatever is going to happen is going to happen no matter what. So I should just stop struggling with this because God has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. But my wants(flesh) of having my boyfriend around are keeping me from that contentment I so desire. I NEED IT, but my flesh wont let me have it. And I take it to prayer, I read about it for help...I just feel-not that God cant deliver me from this madness but that I feel so consumed I dont know where to start. To start the process of getting rid of this sadness of uncertainty. I just got to like you said Heron, "Trust it, trust him, trust God's future for you." But why is it so hard?!