gratefulgrace
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hope you are being encouraged daily in your battle for your marriage mrhappy. gg
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TIME to lay it bare ...serious advice now needed.
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SharonL
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Well Mr. Happy - how is it going.
I think of you often and wonder if there is any improvement or help -
I pray you are able to hold conversations where you can both lay it out and deal with each problem.
I am praying for you, your wife and your children. I can relate more to you as having to deal with the hoarding issue with my daughter-in-law - it seems hopeless at times. My step-son is still dealing with getting rid of junk almost 2 years after her death.
There usually is underlying problems that goes along with the hoarding - my daughter-in-law walked off and left 3 teenage daughters and had 8 grandchildren that she knew nothing about - none of this was found out until after her death - she hid her past totally.
Our son found out about her family after they put their mother's SS # in a form on the internet and it showed her as deceased and listed our son's name - they called and he got to meet them - they were so messed up and felt guilt because she walked off and left them.
Their minds are messed up from something in the past and the hoarding is only a symptom of the problem, not the problem.
Pray something is coming to surface that will be a beginning of the healing.
I think of you often and wonder if there is any improvement or help -
I pray you are able to hold conversations where you can both lay it out and deal with each problem.
I am praying for you, your wife and your children. I can relate more to you as having to deal with the hoarding issue with my daughter-in-law - it seems hopeless at times. My step-son is still dealing with getting rid of junk almost 2 years after her death.
There usually is underlying problems that goes along with the hoarding - my daughter-in-law walked off and left 3 teenage daughters and had 8 grandchildren that she knew nothing about - none of this was found out until after her death - she hid her past totally.
Our son found out about her family after they put their mother's SS # in a form on the internet and it showed her as deceased and listed our son's name - they called and he got to meet them - they were so messed up and felt guilt because she walked off and left them.
Their minds are messed up from something in the past and the hoarding is only a symptom of the problem, not the problem.
Pray something is coming to surface that will be a beginning of the healing.
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Tehilla
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I hope things are working out hun! Here's a bit of encouragement for ya!
YouTube - Xpmedia: Patricia and Todd on Marriage
YouTube - Xpmedia: Patricia and Todd on Marriage
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Thanks mate
Yes, its going to be slow methinks - although in all fairness since my letter - when she said "she'll think about it" - the house is MUCH tidier.
How long that will last is anyones guess. I think your right though, it is "something" else from the past that masks all this madness.
I think I will get to it - I just have to swallow my pride and make myself bothered enough to see this through.
What was new on going home, my planned trip for my youngest son - was cancelled - he preferred to stay in and play on his playstation:o (thats a first).
Maybe I'm losing my "popularity"
Yet another rejection to add to the others...I'm an expert now
Thanks for the prayers matey.
Communication is minimal at present, but I will go for broke this week.
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SharonL
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Thanks mate
Yes, its going to be slow methinks - although in all fairness since my letter - when she said "she'll think about it" - the house is MUCH tidier.
How long that will last is anyones guess. I think your right though, it is "something" else from the past that masks all this madness.
I think I will get to it - I just have to swallow my pride and make myself bothered enough to see this through.
What was new on going home, my planned trip for my youngest son - was cancelled - he preferred to stay in and play on his playstation:o (thats a first).
Maybe I'm losing my "popularity"
Yet another rejection to add to the others...I'm an expert now
Thanks for the prayers matey.
Keep in mind I am only telling my experience - but whatever is bothering them is very secretive, so if you don't get to it right away, just keep it in the back of your mind - it has to be bad.
In my case with daughter-in-law, what in the world would have caused a mother to walk away from 3 teenage daughters and never want to know what happened to them - I cannot even fathom a hurt that would go that deep. We never found out and her children did not know.
I believe your wife has some deep, deep hurt before you even knew her.
My daughter-in-law even hid the mailbox key from our son, she would make several trips a day down to the mailbox, was obsessed with the mail. Tried to get eveything put in her name - got the house and lot in her name and was working on the bank account when she died. No reason whatsoever that we could ever find out.
Only telling you these things to maybe help you in understanding how deep this goes.
The strange thing was she horded beautiful clothes, always buying them and had a closet full, never wore any of them. She was talking to spirit guides thinking they were her guardian angels. Found notes where she was talking to them - said the guardian angel told her that our son was going to win a huge sum of money - maybe that is why she tried to get everything put in her name - there is no guessing or trying to come to any conclusion as to what was in her mind - so secretive we knew nothing.
Don't beat yourself up because you can't get to the bottom of it - our son was beside himself, so confused. She would never go to a doctor or counseling - always reading natural ways for medicines and mixing some sort of drinking liquids all the time. We picked up on a few little things that might have told us she was into a little witchcraft. None of the family felt right about keeping anything she gave for presents, always some sort of mixture she had come up with, those garden balls you see in witchcraft, none of the family said anything to the other, but found out later we all threw away what she gave. Very strange.
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peacechild4
My ♥ is hidden in GOD~ want to find me ~ find GOD
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I was ready to give up yesterday.. THIS came.. and I cried and cried.. I cannot.. the LORD doesn't give up.. and HE loves us unconditionally.. THANKYOU.. I want the trials to be honest.. because it makes me go to HIM.. and find HIS love.. HIS peace.. and HIS greater works.. I believe help thou my unbelief..
I wanted to give up.. but I will not.. HE is greater.. it isn't about the ride.... but about HIM... HE is able to do the impossible.. and that is all I care about HIM.. Being found faithful to HIM.. there is hardly anything at all the other end of my relationship.. My husband doesn't even live in the same house.. with the children and I... I write.. text.. visit.. everything.. nothing.. Ha.. I don't care.. I can do impossible things.. through the LORD.. not in my strength though.. I want to testify to any who will listen.. I have the victory here.. because the LORD has given me ALL things.. I just believe.. and what comes.. comes.. I know the end result and it is good.. all good.. I cannot stuff it up.. the LORD is greater then my stuff ups.. and I just enjoy the journey.. and so far.. it is getting better and better and better..
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peacechild4
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When I stop thinking about what I don't have.. what isn't happening.. and focus on the LORD and all the good things and just keep praising HIM even when I am crying.. I cannot fail.. I have peace.. I can do anything and everything in HIM.. and GOD provides all the rest... Ha.. be encouraged brother.. HIS joy is bubbling out.. and I assure you.. we get the victory.. if we give him the battle..
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gratefulgrace
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Yeah my husband and I had a big fight last week. Overreation to stress etc.(we are in the middle of a big building project) He can get pretty accusatory when we fight so I usually tend to tune him out. (I say he doesn't fight fair by not sticking to the issues) but he said You are a Christian, where is your joy? And the more that I think about it he is right to a degree. I tend to get fussed about things and let my concern about them overshadow my relationship with God and the joy and assurance He gives me that He will work out all things for my good. I want to help Him along by 'suggesting' stuff that my DH just needs to work on. 
I delude myself into thinking this particular circumstance is why I am struggling but it isn't reallly lack of trust in God is the problem. Of course things need to be sorted out and worked out but nagging is not the answer. Prayer is much more vital I think in seeing change in our marriages. 
gg
by not sticking to the issues) but he said You are a Christian, where is your joy? And the more that I think about it he is right to a degree. I tend to get fussed about things and let my concern about them overshadow my relationship with God and the joy and assurance He gives me that He will work out all things for my good. I want to help Him along by 'suggesting' stuff that my DH just needs to work on. I delude myself into thinking this particular circumstance is why I am struggling but it isn't reallly lack of trust in God is the problem. Of course things need to be sorted out and worked out but nagging is not the answer. Prayer is much more vital I think in seeing change in our marriages. gg
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Similar to what you said mate - Johnny boy ! (the Cornthians repeat presciption)
Similar to what you said mate - Johnny boy ! (the Cornthians repeat presciption)
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plmarquette
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separation....time.....
forgive her, that you might be forgiven
what about the 3 kids...
what about who gets custody
what about what they want / need
we all have times and seasons.....
some times it is not them but us.....
both required to stay married
both required to separate
both accountable, made promise before God
.......another woman / man won't fix some problems
separate for awhile, get some counseling
try one more time....biblically
then make a mutual decision....
forgive her, that you might be forgiven
what about the 3 kids...
what about who gets custody
what about what they want / need
we all have times and seasons.....
some times it is not them but us.....
both required to stay married
both required to separate
both accountable, made promise before God
.......another woman / man won't fix some problems
separate for awhile, get some counseling
try one more time....biblically
then make a mutual decision....
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I like it brother....the seperation bit especially.
Maybe we can be the prototype - I'm willing to be a living sacrifice in all this.
lets see what happens
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Here you go again.
Just when I'm playing it cool, you have me on the back foot.
I have bought her nice jewellry, clothes and other bits over the years.
But lately, NO.
I haven't had a call from her or the kids ALL week, since my boy didn't fancy the match last Saturday, and i haven't called them.
But I make my entrance again tomorrow.
FLOWERS.....you trying to break me brother - methinks you are.
I reckon your praying a lot of late !
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Here you go again.
Just when I'm playing it cool, you have me on the back foot.
I have bought her nice jewellry, clothes and other bits over the years.
But lately, NO.
I haven't had a call from her or the kids ALL week, since my boy didn't fancy the match last Saturday, and i haven't called them.
But I make my entrance again tomorrow.
FLOWERS.....you trying to break me brother - methinks you are.
I reckon your praying a lot of late !
Hi Mr. Happy, NO not trying to break you, just trying to get the Romeo back into your life.
So tomorrow is an entrance, then just buy a small bunch of nice colourful flowers---no roses, just nic flowers.
I put a card on them: "All My Love"!
Now, don't expect a miracle, just leave it there Mr. Happy, and don't make anything out of it. But, before you go into the house or wherever you are going ask our Messiah to bless these flowers, and ask HIM to prepare the way for you.
Next time you go, do the same again, and again and again, until it becomes a habit.
When it becomes a habit, then it becomes LOVE!
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Hi Mr. Happy, NO not trying to break you, just trying to get the Romeo back into your life.
So tomorrow is an entrance, then just buy a small bunch of nice colourful flowers---no roses, just nic flowers.
I put a card on them: "All My Love"!
Now, don't expect a miracle, just leave it there Mr. Happy, and don't make anything out of it. But, before you go into the house or wherever you are going ask our Messiah to bless these flowers, and ask HIM to prepare the way for you.
Next time you go, do the same again, and again and again, until it becomes a habit.
When it becomes a habit, then it becomes LOVE!
Alright buddy - you win.
I will again swallow the beast called pride and follow the path of the "erroll flynns"
I'll let you know how I get on.
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