I'm having a problem with my boyfriend of 2 years. He and I were best friends during high school, and when senior year ended he asked me to be his girlfriend. I felt kind of bad for him because he was a realllyyy nice guy, cute, and girls always took advantage of him. But we also spent most of our time together and I figured being his girlfriend wouldn't be much different. Also, we are both virgins and believe in no sex until marriage, so I thought it was fate. As college started I went through a really tough time and he was always there for me. He exceeded all my expectations and has always been the sweetest guy in the world to me. However, now the subject of marriage has come up. This is a totally different story. I do love him very much, but there are a few things about him that worry me. First of all, he has zero dedication to school. We're both supposed to be starting our junior year of college this fall, and he has 20 credits (he's still a freshman). He doesn't have a job, and he spends all his time playing video games. Also, he is two inches shorter than me which shouldn't bother me, but since his personality has gotten so submissive in the last year or so, it really does bother me now. His personality used to make up for the height difference, but now I feel like he's my little brother more than my boyfriend.
In the time we've been dating I've tried three times to break up with him. The first time he started crying and it freaked me out so much that I told him I didn't mean it. The second time he got really mad and told me that if I broke up with him I'd end up with some jerk who wouldn't respect me and wouldn't care about my plans to stay a virgin till marriage. I thought about it and I figured he was probably right, so I agreed to stay with him. The third time he actually pretended not to hear me, and I felt guilty and selfish and just ignored it too. I've tried SO hard to be happy with him, but I feel like we're not getting anywhere. Plus, at this rate I'll be graduated from college before he even finishes freshman year, and then the two inch height difference and submissive personality will have the added weight of me paying the bills and him coasting along at his own pace. I've talked to him about it, and he's even gone to the psychiatrist and gotten on anti-depressants. Nothing has changed, though. I explained to him that I feel like he's not as committed to the relationship as I am, because as much as he says he wants to marry me, he doesn't act like it. At first he said he was saving up for a ring, and then he bought a $1,000 flatscreen TV for his room on credit. I feel really bad for him and don't want to add to his problems by breaking up with him, and I feel like I owe it to him to stay with him, because he has invested so much in me. Every time I think about breaking up with him I think of our pet bunny, the fact that all our friends look up to our relationship as perfect, and how much we've talked about marriage.
I've prayed about this, and I told God that I would stay with my boyfriend until He gave me a clear sign that I should break up with him, and since then he's gotten kicked out of the university for low grades and still hasn't signed up for community college even though I filled out the application for him. I'm very frustrated, and half of me feels like I should stay with him and help him through this, but the other half feels like I've tried enough to no avail and should break it off now before it gets any harder.
Please, anyone's advice would be greatly appreciated. What would Jesus do?
In the time we've been dating I've tried three times to break up with him. The first time he started crying and it freaked me out so much that I told him I didn't mean it. The second time he got really mad and told me that if I broke up with him I'd end up with some jerk who wouldn't respect me and wouldn't care about my plans to stay a virgin till marriage. I thought about it and I figured he was probably right, so I agreed to stay with him. The third time he actually pretended not to hear me, and I felt guilty and selfish and just ignored it too. I've tried SO hard to be happy with him, but I feel like we're not getting anywhere. Plus, at this rate I'll be graduated from college before he even finishes freshman year, and then the two inch height difference and submissive personality will have the added weight of me paying the bills and him coasting along at his own pace. I've talked to him about it, and he's even gone to the psychiatrist and gotten on anti-depressants. Nothing has changed, though. I explained to him that I feel like he's not as committed to the relationship as I am, because as much as he says he wants to marry me, he doesn't act like it. At first he said he was saving up for a ring, and then he bought a $1,000 flatscreen TV for his room on credit. I feel really bad for him and don't want to add to his problems by breaking up with him, and I feel like I owe it to him to stay with him, because he has invested so much in me. Every time I think about breaking up with him I think of our pet bunny, the fact that all our friends look up to our relationship as perfect, and how much we've talked about marriage.
I've prayed about this, and I told God that I would stay with my boyfriend until He gave me a clear sign that I should break up with him, and since then he's gotten kicked out of the university for low grades and still hasn't signed up for community college even though I filled out the application for him. I'm very frustrated, and half of me feels like I should stay with him and help him through this, but the other half feels like I've tried enough to no avail and should break it off now before it gets any harder.
Please, anyone's advice would be greatly appreciated. What would Jesus do?
