Why does my wife not want me to become a christian?

somervre · Nov 1, 2002

Recently my wife and I (by her suggestion) started going to church about 2 months ago.  We were not christians going into this, though we liked to call ourselves that because we were raised that way (you know....christian by upbringing, but not really knowing anything about it!).  Well, by the grace of God, I had a revelation about my life and just totally gave up my life to Jesus Christ (whom, I never even believed in before).  Anyways, my eyes have been opened to a lot of things since then, and my walk has been awesome so far......except.....I have hit a roadblock!  My own wife thinks that I am making a bad decision by doing this.  She thinks that I am not ready for this.  I want to be baptized (I told her that the first day I attended this church) and have been putting it off for her sake now for 2 months.  She still is not giving me her "blessing" for lack of a better term, instead she is just saying that "You're gonna do what you want and I can't stop you anyways".  That is not how I want to go into this, but every time I try and talk to her about it, she gets very hostile and upset, and the conversation ultimately ends in quarrel.  She has not yet asked Jesus to come into her life yet, but ironically she is more active in the church than I am.  I just don't get it!!!  There is no good reason why she should be fighting me on this!!  I had a bad history with sin and she suffered from it, I just want to do the right thing for myself, our marriage, and our two children.

Please....somebody out there must have had a similar situation.  What should I do?  I have talked with my pastor about it and he says that all I can do is pray for her (which I am doing), and love her (which I will always do).  But at some point soon here, I feel like I am being forced into choosing between my faith and my wife.   Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you for taking the time to read this!

KeepTheFaith15 · Nov 1, 2002

well no offence but your faith needs to always be put first so if it comes to chooseing you'll have to choose god cause your not gonna be with your wife in heaven, the relationship ya'll have is just earthly you'll have so much more greater things in heaven. your wife cannot force you to not become a christian and get baptisted, it's obvious god is really pulling on your heart strings, and i think what he is pulling you to do is much greater then your wife's selfishness. theres nothing greater then thinking about being in heaven with the lord our god and the pain your suffering now with your wife will not even be a problem in heaven, do what your pastor says and pray for her, prayer is powerful but if it comes to the point where you feel as if you HAVE to make a desision between your faith and god, and then your wife....thats your desision but i think you know which one's gonna be better off in the loooooooong (eternity) run.

* kittie * · Nov 1, 2002

really, you need to pray about it.  God is never the author of tension in a family.  in fact, family is the most powerful ministry...and satan is trying to bring that down.  you do need to love her and support her no matter how she acts, or how stubborn she is.  if it's difficult, ask God to help you; because sometimes, you can only love people through Christ.  if you really can't talk to her about Christ, live it.  your actions can be an incredible witness to her.

remember also that to the unbeliever, christianity appears foolish.  and Jesus did say that if He was persecuted, we were going to be persecuted.  i mean...even if the person is your wife.  but don't give up.

about the activity in the church...a lot of nonbelievers are very much involved in church activities and charities...but it's because it makes them feel better.  or because they feel like a good person.

and as for this...make sure with other people, cuz this is my thinking.  as for baptism, if God wants you to be baptised, then do it.  but i think that baptism is more of a symbol...of the old man dying and so on...than a necessity for christians.  so i don't think you should go and get baptised just because, and take chances putting your marriage in danger.  so...i guess ask God about that one.  i have NO absolute idea.  but if it's a situation that would jeopardize your marriage...i don't think that God would force you to do it.

GraftMeIn · Nov 1, 2002

I hear what you're saying! I think maybe your wife is worried about the same things my husband worries about, and that's how you will be labeled by others. She could also be worried that you'll become judgmental. I know my husband worries about the label, and goes by how he sees other people acting that claim to be religous.

Even if those aren't even the reasons she's worried about it, the reasons aren't what we need to worry about at all. The last thing you want to do is step in and try to handle the situation on your own. You should pray for her, and you should also ask God for his help, and ask him to show you how to handle the situation. Be patient and wait on him before trying to convince her of anything, let him guide your tongue, and actions.

If I had to make a choice between my husband and God, I would choose God! I would choose God over anything else in this world, because I know he is always with me, and I can always trust in him. And nothing in this world has the power to take him away from me.

I think as we serve God and keep loving our spouses regardless, If we are going by his will and not our own, then what they see in us over time, and see the example we set by Gods standards, they'll see that the things they worried about weren't worth worrying about at all, and start to think about maybe even doing the same thing

somervre · Nov 3, 2002

   Well I did it!!!!  It was AWESOME!! I was so nervous, but it was SO GREAT!!  Afterwords, my wife told me that she was proud of me, and that she wanted me to know that she was never "against" me doing what I was doing (getting baptized).  She told me that she really wanted to tell me that she was O.K. with it the night before, but that she was too stubborn to say it.  Her honesty was the best thing that I could ask from her!  Anyways, we celebrated and had a great day all day.

Thank you everybody, for your advice and keeping me pointed in the right direction.  The biggest thing I learned from this is....WAIT ON THE LORD!!!   Only He can do it right!  There is no point in banging your head against a wall trying to make things change on your own.  God bless you all.

 

KeepTheFaith15 · Nov 3, 2002

praise god!

Daniella · Nov 4, 2002

Originally posted by somervre
    Well I did it!!!!  It was AWESOME!! I was so nervous, but it was SO GREAT!!  Afterwords, my wife told me that she was proud of me, and that she wanted me to know that she was never "against" me doing what I was doing (getting baptized).  She told me that she really wanted to tell me that she was O.K. with it the night before, but that she was too stubborn to say it.  Her honesty was the best thing that I could ask from her!  Anyways, we celebrated and had a great day all day.

Thank you everybody, for your advice and keeping me pointed in the right direction.  The biggest thing I learned from this is....WAIT ON THE LORD!!!   Only He can do it right!  There is no point in banging your head against a wall trying to make things change on your own.  God bless you all.

 

 

ALRIGHT!!! that is great to hear!! :clap:

 

God Bless you!

Sharky · Nov 4, 2002

Hey cool beans, well glad to know everything worked out fine.

It won't take her long to crack. She will. I'll pray for it!

Droobie · Nov 4, 2002

That's an awesome testimony Somervre. Thank you for sharing it with us.

ZiSunka · Nov 4, 2002

My family totally freaked when I became a Christian. They're afraid that you will become a religious fanatic and that you will try to make them become one, too. And they're afraid that you will change and not be fun anymore.

Mϋzikdϋde · Nov 4, 2002

Way to go!
Just remember, the enemy doesn't give in easily and if he can use Christianity to come between you and your wife, he will. Jesus won't let that happen if you rely on Him. Lay the entire thing at Jesus' feet and leave it there. Don't try to force things to happen. God is faithful!

Chris†opher Paul · Nov 4, 2002

Originally posted by somervre
Recently my wife and I (by her suggestion) started going to church about 2 months ago.  We were not christians going into this, though we liked to call ourselves that because we were raised that way (you know....christian by upbringing, but not really knowing anything about it!).  Well, by the grace of God, I had a revelation about my life and just totally gave up my life to Jesus Christ (whom, I never even believed in before).  Anyways, my eyes have been opened to a lot of things since then, and my walk has been awesome so far......except.....I have hit a roadblock!  My own wife thinks that I am making a bad decision by doing this.  She thinks that I am not ready for this.  I want to be baptized (I told her that the first day I attended this church) and have been putting it off for her sake now for 2 months.  She still is not giving me her "blessing" for lack of a better term, instead she is just saying that "You're gonna do what you want and I can't stop you anyways".  That is not how I want to go into this, but every time I try and talk to her about it, she gets very hostile and upset, and the conversation ultimately ends in quarrel.  She has not yet asked Jesus to come into her life yet, but ironically she is more active in the church than I am.  I just don't get it!!!  There is no good reason why she should be fighting me on this!!  I had a bad history with sin and she suffered from it, I just want to do the right thing for myself, our marriage, and our two children.

Please....somebody out there must have had a similar situation.  What should I do?  I have talked with my pastor about it and he says that all I can do is pray for her (which I am doing), and love her (which I will always do).  But at some point soon here, I feel like I am being forced into choosing between my faith and my wife.   Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Jesus said those that love their wives, children, etc, more than Him are not worthly of Him.

So, its clear you must follow Jesus.

As for what else to do, I think your wife is probally scared of losing your attentions, since your conversion has been so dramatic in your life.  Try reassuring her that by doing this, your marriage will actually be stronger with God in it, not the opposite.

GraftMeIn · Nov 5, 2002

That's great news somervre!

I pray the Lord will now work through you in such a way that your wife will want the things she sees in you.

My husband now asks me all the time to give him a scripture to remember. Because he sees me reading my Bible every night. The last time he asked for a scripture he added give me something to think about. So I shared more than just a scripture with him, and also was able to share some things I know the Lord wanted him to see. So the Lord continues to work in his life as well as my own in order to open his eyes. I pray he will do the same thing in your life.

Your wife sounds so much like my husband! Because even though my husband seems worried about certain things. He's also proud of me when he sees me doing those things he's seemed so worried about.

Athlon4all · Nov 5, 2002

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

I want to encourage you. This is not going to be easy, this was only the first step. You are going to be wanting to grow in the LORD and make changes in your life, and people will oppose you but, never lose sight of what Paul said in Romans 8: Neither Life nor death nor any created thing shall be able to seperate us from the love of Christ!!!

above_rubies · Nov 6, 2002

I think Oswald Chamber put it best.

January 11th.

WHAT MY OBEDIENCE TO GOD COSTS OTHER PEOPLE

"They laid hold upon one Simon . . . and on him they laid the cross." Luke 23:26

If we obey God it is going to cost other people more than it costs us, and that is where the sting comes in. If we are in love with our Lord, obedience does not cost us anything, it is a delight, but it costs those who do not love Him a good deal. If we obey God it will mean that other people's plans are upset, and they will gibe us with it - "You call this Christianity?" We can prevent the suffering; but if we are going to obey God, we must not prevent it, we must let the cost be paid.

Our human pride entrenches itself on this point, and we say - I will never accept anything from anyone. We shall have to, or disobey God. We have no right to expect to be in any other relation than our Lord Himself was in (see Luke 8:2-3).

Stagnation in spiritual life comes when we say we will bear the whole thing ourselves. We cannot. We are so involved in the universal purposes of God that immediately we obey God, others are affected. Are we going to remain loyal in our obedience to God and go through the humiliation of refusing to be independent, or are we going to take the other line and say - I will not cost other people suffering? We can disobey God if we choose, and it will bring immediate relief to the situation, but we shall be a grief to our Lord. Whereas if we obey God, He will look after those who have been pressed into the consequences of our obedience. We have simply to obey and to leave all consequences with Him.

Beware of the inclination to dictate to God as to what you will allow to happen if you obey Him.

myutmost.org/01/0111.html

4jc · Nov 7, 2002

Originally posted by somervre
    Well I did it!!!!  It was AWESOME!! I was so nervous, but it was SO GREAT!!  Afterwords, my wife told me that she was proud of me, and that she wanted me to know that she was never "against" me doing what I was doing (getting baptized).  She told me that she really wanted to tell me that she was O.K. with it the night before, but that she was too stubborn to say it.  Her honesty was the best thing that I could ask from her!  Anyways, we celebrated and had a great day all day.

Thank you everybody, for your advice and keeping me pointed in the right direction.  The biggest thing I learned from this is....WAIT ON THE LORD!!!   Only He can do it right!  There is no point in banging your head against a wall trying to make things change on your own.  God bless you all.

 

That is absolutely fantastic! Your testimony just about shed some tears to these dry eyes.
You are so right. Wait on the Lord and all will be good. :clap:

It will definetely not be long before she wants to follow the Lord as you are. AMEN!!!

Rize · Nov 8, 2002

Originally posted by somervre
Recently my wife and I (by her suggestion) started going to church about 2 months ago.  We were not christians going into this, though we liked to call ourselves that because we were raised that way (you know....christian by upbringing, but not really knowing anything about it!).  Well, by the grace of God, I had a revelation about my life and just totally gave up my life to Jesus Christ (whom, I never even believed in before).  Anyways, my eyes have been opened to a lot of things since then, and my walk has been awesome so far......except.....I have hit a roadblock!  My own wife thinks that I am making a bad decision by doing this.  She thinks that I am not ready for this.  I want to be baptized (I told her that the first day I attended this church) and have been putting it off for her sake now for 2 months.  She still is not giving me her "blessing" for lack of a better term, instead she is just saying that "You're gonna do what you want and I can't stop you anyways".  That is not how I want to go into this, but every time I try and talk to her about it, she gets very hostile and upset, and the conversation ultimately ends in quarrel.  She has not yet asked Jesus to come into her life yet, but ironically she is more active in the church than I am.  I just don't get it!!!  There is no good reason why she should be fighting me on this!!  I had a bad history with sin and she suffered from it, I just want to do the right thing for myself, our marriage, and our two children.

Please....somebody out there must have had a similar situation.  What should I do?  I have talked with my pastor about it and he says that all I can do is pray for her (which I am doing), and love her (which I will always do).  But at some point soon here, I feel like I am being forced into choosing between my faith and my wife.   Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you for taking the time to read this!

I don't know if this has come up yet, but simply put God first and treat your wife with love and respect.  You're not allowed to make a decision to separate from her.  Her being the unbeliever (or uncommitted at least), if she can't deal with you and she wants to split it off, that is her decision to make.  But you have to wait for her to either come to God, or come to that point.  The decision is not yours (according to the Bible).

Rising_Suns · Nov 8, 2002

you do need to love her and support her no matter how she acts, or how stubborn she is.

In this situation, SHE needs to love and support YOU no matter how stubborn SHE is.

KeepTheFaith,

I'm always surprised at how on target your advice is..wish i was there when I was your age.  

DeputyDan · Nov 30, 2002

Good Job!

The two highest points in my life are
1) My baptism
2) My children's baptism.

Nothing else can touch, feeling God there when you know you have his approval.

ISniffMyCrack · Dec 20, 2002

Can I get a Hallelujah?!

Gerry for God

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