Husband's Career

I just want my husband to be happy. Life is too short to be stuck in a job you hate. It pains me a little, but I have even told my husband that is okay if he decides not to be a professor, despite the fact that we have A LOT of grad school debt for his PhD in Literature. I understand that for him it was more about the learning than the income/career boost.

For my husband's part, he's tough to figure out. I recently got out of him that he hopes to stick around in his law clerk job for a two more years to finish his PhD work, be near his parents while our baby is young, etc. Then? It's hard to tell. He is serious about being a writer, serious about taking care of the family. I have faith in that and don't spend a lot of time worrying HOW he will accomplish it.

I personally prefer that my husband have a job that doesn't have "homework". If he was a professor, I would be somewhat easy going about it, only because the hours of his job would so random anyway. Still, I think it's really important that the work gets put away after a certain point and time devoted to family. When DH works a 9-5 job and is there ALL day, I really don't want him working when he's home too.

Redguard said:

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

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It depends on whether he sees it as a means to an end, or an extension of his personality. Some people work just for money and are not fussed about what jobs they take, while others feel passionate about something and so decide to work in that field. I guess that can determine if the person takes it seriously or not. However, regardless of what job a person does, they should work diligently at it and aim for tangible growth (experience, maturity, pay rises, promotions etc.) and should do their best to not get fired or needlessly be out of work.

Redguard said:

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

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See above. It depends. However if it is an almost daily occurence, it can quickly become a nuisance. What good is his being at home if his mind is at work? What good is a shell of a body in the house? Is he there with his wife and family or really at work? Just coming back home is not enough. He has to be fully at home. It's okay to bring work home sometimes, but if it becomes too regular, then I would suggest he is either inadequate at his job, or likely being given too much to do and as such is unable to do it at the budgeted time (work hours!), in which case he should discuss it with his employers and/or seek another job.

Work time is work time, home time is home time.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

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I'm proud of how well he is doing, and glad he has a job he can feel really rather good about. I am also blessed he does not eat, sleep, and play his career, when he comes home, he is home and he usually leaves his work at the door.

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

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I think he has a good balance, he takes it seriously at work, and tends not to bring home any of the stress.

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

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He very, very rarely brings work home- maybe half a dozen times in as many years. He keeps his work time separate from our home time, and really does not even talk about it unless I ask- which I tend to do just to know how things are going for him and how to pray.

He is a strong contrast to my own Dad, and I am glad in many ways- except that they both have great work ethic. My Dad took his job very seriously, had little time for us kids, rarely interacted with us, or mom really. The stress made him a very angry man to live with, and he would never share his job days with my mother, so she was always in the dark as to why he was so stressed and irritable.

I am glad my hubby always has time for his children, and that he shares his days with me.

Hi, this may be the first time I'm posting in MM.

My husband tends to do a fair bit of telephoning regarding work, from home, even after long office hours. At all hours of the day he may get a phone/ e-mail about some meeting/ deadline to be met. I usually don't mind too much, though I make jokes about his Blackberry; but I know he loves his job and we are sure God is using it to bring good, so I think its okay. He tells me a lot about it, and his friends used to joke that I knew more about their projects than some of their colleagues!

In retrospect, I probably am far more understanding about his work now than I was a decade ago. I am working almost full-time myself after a break for the kids and I tend to bring work home myself!! and my hubby, in turn, knows a great deal about my profession from listening to me, and asking questions!!

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

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My husband handles his career with balance. He keeps work stuff at work but there are times he does have to work late or is on call and I am not discouraged because I know he is earning extra time or money. So I can thank God for those times because maybe down the road we'll need the extra money or he wants to take the afternoon off.

I have the career and he has the job. He is happier that way because he is not a career person but I am.

I don't bring my work home. Home time is when its time to switch off and relax.

I like my husband bringing home the BACON and lots of it...lol..... I love my husband's money....errrr.....I mean I love my husband! ; )

So, if he brings work home, that is encouraging for me. I enjoy doing my paperwork, etc while he works on his job stuff together at nights.

That said, Everything in BALANCE. If he brought work home constantly and had little time for anything else, I would be sad. But moderation is key of course.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?
He kind of flits in and out of employment as we need money and he needs outside activity (he was the stay at home dad in our house)... It bothers me that he can't find one occupation to stick with, but his transient job thing is not a big deal... just all the different types. I don't mind being the bread winner. It suits my personality.
Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?
I think he's too serious about it... finding the perfect job I mean.
When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?
When he brings it home it's a nuisance because it's usually a car or some other large project that takes over my house/driveway/yard.
These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

My problem is that he just can't accept it's work and it's not going to be tons of fun or always rewarding... As long as it is rewarding most of the time it should be sufficient. He wants it to be a cake walk. This is the only thing that really irritates me.

Redguard said:

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

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I think my husband has the perfect amount of seriousness. He doesn't work as long hours as a lot of guys in his industry because he is very family focused. But he does what it takes to make sure his career progresses. He has had to travel to NZ a lot this year, he didn't go as often as he was asked to - he went often enough to show the company that he is serious about his work and he said no often enough to demonstrate that his family is his first priority.

Redguard said:

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

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My husband works in software, it's the kind of industry which expects you do a lot of hours at home as well as at the office. So he probably brings work home on a weekly basis. It's not the coolest thing ever, but we both knew it would happen from first year uni. Ideally I'd like to have a separation between home and work, but it's just never going to happen. So I think of the times when my husband brings work home as opportunities to love him. He hates working in the evenings, so I'm super nice to him and spoil him a bit to make it easier. I also have a rule about where in the flat work may be done, so that we have some semblance of a separation. Work can only be done in the lounge room - not the bedroom (lol that shows how small the flat is...there are two options)

I'm very proud of the way he handles it. He has a fantastic work ethic, he's good at his job, and he's very well-respected by his coworkers and administrators. He takes it very seriously and is always seeking out more training and opportunities to become better, which is great. I would worry about his day-to-day safety much more if he didn't take it seriously. As for him bringing it home...well, it's not as though there's really work he's bringing home. Occasionally he'll have to drop by the office or call on his days off to take care of things. One of the hazards in his career is never 'turning off' of the job, but he's mostly been able to avoid that. There are a few little habits he can't shake...but they're for his and our protection and I don't mind that.
He loves his job and although he gets virtually no respect from people outside his profession, I'm very proud of him.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

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He takes it about as seriously as it warrants being taken. He's a game designer - it's a far more laidback industry than most others, though probably no less demanding.

I used to worry a lot, and nag him, whenever he stayed late to work on projects, as he doesn't get paid proper overtime. He explained to me back then that this is something he loves to do, and the project relied (whether ethically or not) upon the kind of 'labour of love' that he was doing.

Eventually we got to a compromise... I wouldn't nag him, but I would do all possible to make sure that he had as little stress as possible once he came home from work.

He hasn't worked overtime for quite a while now (he's been moved onto a different project), so I haven't had to stress, silently or otherwise.

Due to the nature of the work, he doesn't bring work home, so home time is home time... that said, we both love to PLAY games, so it kind of makes an appearance here anyway, lol. But in a good way, and by sharing his enjoyment of the industry and its products, I both tacitly support and encourage him in his work. And it brings us closer together, which I can't say many other people's careers do for them.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

Click to expand...

I think my husband handles his career in a fairly professional way.
I think he could take it a little more seriously..
He doesn't bring work home..

I'm very proud of my husband and the work that he does, and I'm happy with the way he handles his career. I've known right from the start that his career is very important to him, and therefore it's important to me too. I feel like I can contribute to his career by supporting him in it. He often brings work home with him, and I'm okay with that. It might be different if we had kids, because I would want him to spend time with them, but since we're childfree, I'm okay with the amount of time he spends working. Being an introvert, I don't feel like I need him to devote a lot of time to me; I'm content just reading or whatever in the evenings.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

Click to expand...

He works in retail, so his hours are all over the place. I knew it coming in, so it wasn't a big shock. Actually, I kind of like when he works evenings and every other weekend. I can go out with my girlfriends without feeling guilty, and I can get more done around the house.

He does put a lot into his job, but he makes it clear I'm a higher priority. Nothing to complain about.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

Click to expand...

My husband does amazingly good quality work, which is why they keep trying to promote him. I like that he takes pride in his work and he always does the best he can do.

I don't think he takes it too seriously or not seriously enough. He knows it's a means to an end -- it's not his dream job by any means -- but it gives him the time and funds to pursue his real passion which, at the moment, he isn't making any money doing. Hopefully someday... I'd love for him to get to do his dream job like I get to do mine.

At one point he thought that he had a responsibility to move up where he works so that he could provide more financially, but the fact is I make plenty for us to be comfortable, and I love my job and I love moving up in my job, whereas he enjoys but doesn't love his job, and moving up would take away any free time he had to pursue what he really loves. When I told him he didn't have to feel any obligation to get promoted, he was sooo happy. He might do it still if we decide it would help us get a house, but I don't want that to be something he rushes into deciding. I firmly believe you should either love what you do for 8 hours a day or you should do a good job, leave it there, and make time for what you do love.

He rarely brings his work home, though he talks about it, and I like hearing about it. I bring tons of work home, on the other hand, which sometimes encroaches upon our livng space. He tolerates it well, though.

I respect my husband. I think he does an honest day's work.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?


Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

Click to expand...

I think he handles it pretty well since they don't pay him enough and lie to him reguarly. He's always been a hard worker and does his best no matter what. He never brings work home. If he did, Id be upset. Who wants an eighteen wheeler or a school bus tore down in their front yard? He's a mechanic.

He put in for a job on a barge where he'd be gone for 28 days and then home 28 days. We discussed pros and cons and agreed we could make it work cause it's interesting and he would enjoy it. I just hope they call him and offer enough money to satisfy him so he can live his dream.

Redguard said:

This question is directed towards the wives.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

These questions are only a guideline for the responses, but don't feel limited by them. Let it all out.

Click to expand...

*I admire my husband's professionalism and skill and am his biggest cheerleader.

*There are times he takes it too seriously- which he will admit, and that is a problem only because it starts to ruin his peace of mind. He doesn't let it consume his every waking moment though.

*He brings home work very rarely, but then so do I. We bounce ideas off of each other and enjoy talking about work with each other.

*Over the years I've learned a lot from him- both by watching him and how he handles situations at work, and also by asking him to teach me things he's great at and it's really been a benefit to me.

*Conversely, over the years he has learned a lot from me also so I think it is a win win situation for both of us.

What are your feelings in regards to the way that your husband handles his career?

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I think he is doing a great job. He takes it seriously, but makes sure that he doesn't let it get in the way of family time.

Do you feel like it's something that he takes too seriously, or doesn't take seriously enough?

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A little too seriously on occasion, but he did get a significant promotion after just 6 months.

When you see him bring work home, is this something you find to be encouraging, or a nuisance?

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He doesn't really bring it home, but if he did, I coudn't complain...I used to be a high school English teacher.

I think my husband has a wonderful attitude toward his career. He has an great work ethic, and he seeks to develop his career so that he is challenged and enjoys his work, but also that his career helps, instead of hinders, our life together.