Touching...

yes it is bad. coz one thing like that will lead to another and it wont be long before you break your promise.
the bible tells us to flee from evil and letting your boyfriend touch your chest is more or less giving evil an invitation or should i say playing with fire

Oh by the way welcome to CF i'm sure u'll get good advise here but ^thats my opinion
be blessed

It might not be sinful in and of itself but it is very much "playing with fire".

We are not called to get as close to the edge of sin as possible without going over, we're called to stay as far away as possible.

Consider it this way. What is being accomplished by him touching you that way? I'm betting that one of both of you is getting sexually aroused right? Is that really a good idea if you are trying to avoid being sexually active?

babykate5 said:

I Have a question...
My boyfriend and I are not sexually active, we are saving ourselves (But I was raped before I met him) We don't plan on breaking our promise. But we were both wondering if him touching my chest was a bad thing. We don't know who to ask so I came here...He doesn't touch me anywhere else and I wouldn't let him...I am not comfortable with that. Is it bad for him to touch my chest?

Click to expand...

Hello there,

I'm not the most orthodox of Christians, and I don't believe that sexual activity in a loving, committed relationship is sinful. However, I see that you do, so I'll answer from a perspective that it is a sin.

Touching breasts is sexual. It's not sex, but it is sexual, and it will likely stir up sexual feelings in both of you. As other posters have stated, one thing may very well lead to another, and you may end up doing something that you'll both regret. I would advise you to talk to your boyfriend about it more, see where he stands on the issue. If you aren't comfortable talking to him about this, then chances are he should not be touching you in a sexual way.

Hope this helps. God bless.

It is not bad for him to touch your chest just as long as he does it with respect and of no joke. But you also have to think about this for yourself. If you feel uncomfortable about it, just tell him, and if you don't then just let it slip by.

No, it's not bad. Though if you're uncomfortable with it or anything else then tell him to stop.

As others have said, if you are trying to avoid sex, breastfondling is not the safest activity to engage in.

Although I personally never got the point of saving oneself, I'll give you this advice: do whatever YOU feel is right. When it comes to sex, only do what you are comfortable with and when you are comfortable with it. Never allow your partner to pressure you into something and never attempt to pressure your partner into anything. And don't let outsiders affect your love life when they are not asked to do so - it is not anyone elses business.

No comment. But I hope you are/have received therapy or problems will follow you into marriage. Good luck to you both.

If you're saving yourselves for marriage, then I'd say it's not a good idea. It stirs up sexual desire in both of you, which will lead to other steps away from the purity you currently posess, and seek to retain. The Bible says to flee youthful lusts. Well, this is one of those things to flee.

flicka said:

No comment. But I hope you are/have received therapy or problems will follow you into marriage. Good luck to you both.

Click to expand...

I assume that you are speaking of her mention of the fact that she was raped. I agree entirely that that needs to be addressed through professional counsiling BEFORE marriage. The fiancee/boyfriend also needs to be told about it before marriage too, if he hasn't been told already.

Who raped you though? Was it a family member? These are questions you need to speak to a therapist about.

starelda said:

No, it's not bad. Though if you're uncomfortable with it or anything else then tell him to stop.

Click to expand...

Well from a Christian perspective it is if only because it starts the fire. So please understand.

To the OPer, I hope it all works out well for you.

In general, this is a circumstance where I would definitely think that waiting until marriage is a very bad idea. With the trouble this poor woman has had, she may well need years to work through the issues related to sex. It's far better that they find out now, rather than after they are married, whether or not they will be sexually compatible.

babykate5 said:

Yes My Boyfriend know about me being raped. It was about two years before I met him. It happened numerous times throughout the relationship. I have never been to a REAL councilor I have talked to my youth director...but yes he knows...I really appreciate you guys helping like this...you have no idea how much it means to me...I went to the ER a couple weeks ago with severe pain in my abdomen and I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress, The doctor told me that it caused an ulcer...I really appreciate all of this...

Click to expand...

If it is causing that sort of symptom now I would highly suggest getting counsiling from a Christian counsilor with experience in this area.

If you've been raped before then that can definitely have psychological side-effects that may cause you to be nervous when guys touch you now. In all seriousness... maybe it would be better if you touched him first. That is, if you are intent on reaching 2nd base with this guy.

As for the morality of it, as long as no one as being hurt there is nothing wrong with it. If anyone is being hurt or stressed emotionally or physically, you shouldn't do it.

From a fundamentalist Christian standpoint, of course it is wrong. Fondling a woman's breasts is a surefire way to stimulate sexual arousal in one or both individuals involved.

For me personally, I still find it one of the laughable things about Christianity-- the way the church demonizes the human body and its drives. All the biological processes in the natural world involve one organism digesting/ingesting another, one organism feeding off of another, or one organism proliferating at the expense of another organism. All the biological processes except one (maybe a couple others as well): the reproductive process. Sex is one of the only processes that occurs in the natural world out of millions, that involves mutual gratification and pleasure for both parties, and that is the one process that Christianity has chosen to demonize and apply a whole series of unhealthy taboos and rituals to. Yet Christians don't seem to have any problem with genocide, killing babies, or slavery, as demonstrated by God's supposed actions in the Old Testament.

Me personally, I feel that humans should have as much sex as possible, within or without a committed relationship, so long as it is between consenting adults and it doesn't harm anyone (unless...they want to be harmed).

jojogirly said:

yes it is bad. coz one thing like that will lead to another and it wont be long before you break your promise.
the bible tells us to flee from evil and letting your boyfriend touch your chest is more or less giving evil an invitation or should i say playing with fire

Click to expand...

Hilarious...

I would agree with the playing with fire idea, although I have been in a relationship where we did that (and a bit more) for around 10 months without having sex (but we did get very close on several occasions).

My question would be why saving yourself before marriage is the right course of action, but I doubt I can convince you otherwise (Nor am I sure that I should if I could, though my gut says yes)