Help! My mom is confusing me.

Mysterium_Fidei · May 18, 2006

Help! My mom is confusing me.

For the last few months I've been very depressed, because I cannot make up my mind which Church to belong to (Catholic or Anglican). I have deep feelings for both Churches, and talk about this with her often. It isn't helping either of us. One minute, she will have made up her mind to be Catholic, but when I tell her that I'm so sure I can make a decision yet she becomes very angry at me and the next minute decides it's better for us to remain Anglican. I can't stand this. She never forced any one Church on me, and in some ways I resent that. I hate having to make the decision for her and myself, and feel she has put me in that unfair position.

When I tell her I think it should be her, as a parent, to make that choice, she never enforces it, and we fall into the same problem. I feel like I'm loosing something no matter what, and I'll confess to not really wanting her to decide in some ways. If your children wished to leave the Church, would you (though disgruntled) allow them to attend other churches? Shouldn't you keep them from error?

I'm tempted very often lately to disavow any belief in God, and that of course makes the situation worse. There is a lot of anger between us now that I feel she fails to recognize. She wants me to be happy and secure in my faith, but it doesn't seem to matter if we compromise on truth.

I'm very upset. I was convinced I had a vocation to the priesthood, but cannot pursue it because I do not know which Church I'm called to. I've created my own confusion, and fallen very deeply into despair, but she has certainly helped (though it's completely unintentional).

She thinks I'm afraid to commit to one Church, and that's true (though a bit hypocritical), but I just want to have certainty I've made the right commitment. What can I do? I've prayed and prayed about this. I need some help. :help:

canadiancatholic · May 18, 2006

I would, for the sake of both your sanities, go through the RCIA together. I believe it will make you both stronger christians and more apt to make better judgement. I also believe it will bring you closer to each other. There is no obligation to become Catholic after, although the majority do. At the very least you'll be able to make an informed decision. When you contact a parish, they'll probably send out the RCIA director for some preliminary questions. You can tell him of your apprehension of leaving your church and maybe he could say something to smooth the transition. It's never an easy decision to leave what you believe, but remember the apostles did so also, and the grass was greener on the other side. Might be so with you also.Just my thoughts.

Mysterium_Fidei · May 18, 2006

canadiancatholic said:
I would, for the sake of both your sanities, go through the RCIA together. I believe it will make you both stronger christians and more apt to make better judgement. I also believe it will bring you closer to each other. There is no obligation to become Catholic after, although the majority do. At the very least you'll be able to make an informed decision. When you contact a parish, they'll probably send out the RCIA director for some preliminary questions. You can tell him of your apprehension of leaving your church and maybe he could say something to smooth the transition. It's never an easy decision to leave what you believe, but remember the apostles did so also, and the grass was greener on the other side. Might be so with you also.Just my thoughts.

Well, we're both Catholics. We defected in our confusion is all, and now we don't know where to remain. Bah. I feel like this is my fault. I've become very angry at God, and can barely pray lately.

Filia Mariae · May 18, 2006

Hi Mysterium :wave:

As I'm sure you know, everyone here in OBOB is going to root Catholic.

What this really comes down to, IMO, is an issue of authority and ecclesiology. Given your theological leaning, I'm guessing you are fairly confident that Jesus founded a visible Church, gave the apostles authority to teach, and promised to remain with His Church until the end of time.

If this is the case, for me, I just can't see a cogent argument for Anglicanism. As a former Anglican (ECUSA), I just can't see any kind of defining aspect of Anglicanism. Some Anglicans hold beliefs that are virtually Catholic (like yourself), others are practical Calvinists. This is often brushed away as "diversity" but it's not true diversity. True diversity is a richness of spiritualities and expressions of faith; directly contradictory doctrines are chaos.

Honestly, what does it mean to be Anglican? It seems like there is no answer that is any more specific than one that could be used to answer what it means to be a Christian in general. I'm all for true diversity- Franciscan service to the poor, Jesuit academic study, Carmelite contemplation, Latin hymns and charismatic prayer groups. But this diversity is beautiful because it is brought together in one harmonious whole. Marian devotion just doesn't jive with total depravity, you know?

I think that if you are to remain an Anglican and be honest about it, you must concede that Jesus did not grant His Church the authority to teach authoritatively and without error. For me then, the question becomes why did He bother giving us His Church at all? And why did He abandon His Bride to chaos and confusion?

I think that you should take your time in making this decision- its far worse to hop from church to church. First and foremost, pray. Seek Jesus in Adoration. Ask Mary to bring you to her Son, wherever He is waiting for you. And if there are specific issues that are troubling you, feel free to ask here.

Angeldove97 · May 18, 2006

Hun, I guess YOU"LL just have to make the decision for your soul. Your Mom is responsible for hers. I got alot of heat from my Dad especially about me being Protestant because he was mad that I didn't want to be Russian Orthodox (I'm the only one who really takes religion seriously in my life anyways). I did this while I was in 7th grade, but I still knew it was the right thing to do in my heart. They were a little less upset about converting to Catholicism... Mom said it was fine as long as I was Christian and Dad just knew I would make up my own mind and do what I felt was best in my heart.

So good luck... keep praying and please don't lose heart. If you love Christ I truly think that's all that matters... we label each other way too often. Blessings! ^_^

Vedant · May 18, 2006

I'm not Catholic or Anglican, but if it came down to a choice between the two, I would choose Catholic.

WarriorAngel · May 18, 2006

Well hon, I dont wish to bring in any sour grapes...
But there are a few heavy things you should not overlook.

For one thing, Angelicans accept homosexual priests and seemingly [since I am not 100% on this] they accept homosexual lifestyles too, and women's ordinations.

I believe that is correct.

Anyway, if they can accept something so blatantly against ancient Tradition it would not appeal to me. IMHO.

Best wishes.

WarriorAngel · May 18, 2006

http://www.catholicexchange.com/clibrary//document.asp?category_id=180&document_id=574

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Peter Has Spoken[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Fr. Hugh Barbour, O. Praem </B>
Page 1 of 6
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Fathers on the infallibility of the Bishop of Rome.
The infallibility of the pope in matters of faith and morals was defined
as a dogma of the Catholic Faith in 1870 at the First Vatican Council.
This teaching, however, had been held and taught and put into practice
during the whole history of the Church. Whenever doubts or errors arise
in Christian Faith or practice, the ultimate authority in the Church is
that of the successor of St. Peter, for whom Our Lord prayed at the Last
Supper, "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might
sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not
fail; and when you have turned again, strengthen your brethren" (Luke
22:31-32).
There are many aspects to the biblical teaching on the primacy of St.
Peter and his successors. In this article, we'll center in on just the
one practical fact that historically, the see (office) of Peter at Rome
has been the final authority in the Church, East and West, for resolving
the controversies raised by heresies and confirming the faith of the
orthodox. The Fathers of the Church themselves viewed the See of Rome as
the standard and guarantee of their own teaching, even though they were
already themselves teachers of great authority as priests and bishops,
successors of the apostles under Peter, the chief apostle, whose faith
and person are the rock on which Christ built His Church on earth (Matt.
16:18).
Here are witnesses from the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth,
seventh, eighth and ninth centuries, from Rome and Italy, Constantinople
and Asia Minor, Western Europe and Northern Africa, that is, from all of
ancient Christendom, geographically and historically.
St. Irenaeus of Lyons
St. Irenaeus fought the earliest of the heresies, that of gnosticism,
with a full-blown concept of tradition and apostolic authority as robust
as any father of the First Vatican Council 1,700 years later. Notice how
he does not make the Bible the sole source of the Church's faith, which
is what the modern Protestant doctrine of sola scriptura teaches; a
doctrine utterly unknown to the Christians of his day. Irenaeus does,
however, make the judgement of the Apostolic See the standard of
authentic faith.
"With this Church [of Rome] it is necessary that each church agree, on
account of its superior origin . . . in which has been preserved the
tradition which is from the apostles . . . it is not necessary to seek

back to top [/FONT]
[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1 2 3 4 5 6 Next [/FONT]

Sisof8 · May 19, 2006

That's a hard place, but it is a good one. You are taking ti seriously - that is an evidence of grace that God is at work = you're not flippantly making a decision. I know it's a VERY hard decision and I pray you will be aware of God's peace and direction in this.

Ave Maria · May 19, 2006

Mysterium, do you believe in the immaculate conception of Mary or the assumption of Mary? I am pretty sure that most Anglicans do not believe in those two things. Except for possibly the Anglo-Catholics. I have also heard it said (though I don't know how true it is) that the Anglican Church no longer has the authority to validly consecrate the Eucharist because they lost the line of apostolic succession. I have also heard it argued that Anglicans do still have the line of apostolic succession. I also know that the Anglicans do not have a problem with things like birth control while obviously Catholics believe that artificial birth control is immoral. I just thought that maybe some of these things would help you make your decision.

To any Anglicans reading, I mean absolutely no disrespect whatsoever and if I have gotten anything wrong then feel free to correct me.

Febe · May 19, 2006

Hi Mysterium!
It´s quite natural Your mother does not choose for You - You´re after all 15 years old!
I "moved" my daughters to the Catholic Church, without asking them - only based on my judgement - when they were 8 years; at 8, they couldn´t decide. You are old enough to decide for Yourself!
May God help You to get right!

She · May 19, 2006

Mysterium_Fidei said:
Help! My mom is confusing me.

If your children wished to leave the Church, would you (though disgruntled) allow them to attend other churches? Shouldn't you keep them from error?

I'm tempted very often lately to disavow any belief in God, and that of course makes the situation worse.

I'm very upset. I was convinced I had a vocation to the priesthood, but cannot pursue it because I do not know which Church I'm called to. I've created my own confusion, and fallen very deeply into despair, but she has certainly helped (though it's completely unintentional).

She thinks I'm afraid to commit to one Church, and that's true (though a bit hypocritical), but I just want to have certainty I've made the right commitment. What can I do? I've prayed and prayed about this. I need some help.

Personally, I am bringing my children up in both the Anglican and the Roman Catholic Church. I do not see that there is much problem with this. They are very similar to each other. The main differences happened after they split. So the Anglican Church is actually Old Catholic. I think both Churches have a lot of spiritual wealth.

You are still very young. Why not give yourself a few years before deciding on the priesthood? Ultimately, if you wanted to join the priesthood, the choice should be about whether you want to marry in the future or whether you want to remain celibate. I've even heard of a Roman Catholic priest in my friend's parish, who was ordained as Anglican, got married and then converted to the Catholic Church. He is now a happily married Roman Catholic priest! Wonders never cease!

So please try not to let this put you off religion altogether. The Anglican and Roman Catholic Churches are compatible. It is only men who create barriers, not God.

kamikat · May 19, 2006

Mysterium_Fidei said:
When I tell her I think it should be her, as a parent, to make that choice, she never enforces it, and we fall into the same problem. If your children wished to leave the Church, would you (though disgruntled) allow them to attend other churches? Shouldn't you keep them from error?

Our job as parent is to prepare you to make your own way in the world. This means gradually letting you make more and more of your own choices, sometime making mistakes and learning from them. Also, she doesn't know where God is leading you, only ou can discern that. Perhaps she doesn't feel led in either direction. Perhaps her faith isn't very strong. Perhaps she has issues with the decision that isn't comfortab;e sharing with you. Perhaps she doesn't want to make the decision for you in case it turns about to be the wrong choice and you get angry with her over it. Perhaps because you are male, she feels you should be the one to decide.
Yes, if my teenage or young adult children decide to leave my Church, I would be upset, but I would allow them to attend other churches or whatever they decide be it mosque, temple, ect. My job is the raise them right so that hopefully they won't do that, but to support them with unconditional love if they do.
kamikat

graysparrow · May 19, 2006

Dear Misterium Fide

When I was your age I thought I would have not been catholic wether I had been born just 100 km to the east in Morocco. So what I did was to check every single religion I could think of. It took me years and there's one thing I really learned

There is no certainity in religion, not like in Maths. No matter what you try you will never find it

Just think about laws. Lawyers argue every day about how laws are to be applied. And then we know who, how and why the voted them. We have the records of the sessions of the parliaments, articles from papers and most probably we can even write to the lawmakers... and still

so with the Bible a book who was written by, being honest, God knows who (men and women), God knows when, and God knows where

ultimately it's a matter of trust. Reason can guide you to reject wacky things and unsound doctrines, but only so much.

Mysterium_Fidei · May 19, 2006

I would like to thank everyone for their replies and prayers. This is certainly a very hard decision for me to make. I feel like I'd be leaving my parish family, who I love very much, in becoming Catholic. Even so, I cannot bring myself to agree with some of the problems within Anglicanism (such as those Filia Mariae mentioned).
Please continue your prayers.

WarriorAngel said:
Well hon, I dont wish to bring in any sour grapes...
But there are a few heavy things you should not overlook.

For one thing, Angelicans accept homosexual priests and seemingly [since I am not 100% on this] they accept homosexual lifestyles too, and women's ordinations.

I believe that is correct.

Anyway, if they can accept something so blatantly against ancient Tradition it would not appeal to me. IMHO.

Best wishes.

Yes, many high ranking Anglican clergy support the ordination of practicing homosexuals and bless their unions. I have serious issues with this. I also have problems with female ordination, which is a major breach in Christian Tradition (though I've heard it argued otherwise).

PaladinDoodler said:
Mysterium, do you believe in the immaculate conception of Mary or the assumption of Mary? I am pretty sure that most Anglicans do not believe in those two things. Except for possibly the Anglo-Catholics. I have also heard it said (though I don't know how true it is) that the Anglican Church no longer has the authority to validly consecrate the Eucharist because they lost the line of apostolic succession. I have also heard it argued that Anglicans do still have the line of apostolic succession. I also know that the Anglicans do not have a problem with things like birth control while obviously Catholics believe that artificial birth control is immoral. I just thought that maybe some of these things would help you make your decision. To any Anglicans reading, I mean absolutely no disrespect whatsoever and if I have gotten anything wrong then feel free to correct me.

I don't think many Anglicans, excepting myself and some Anglo-Catholics, believe in the Immaculate Conception and Assumption of Our Lady. Rome doesn't offically awknowledge the bulk of Anglican Holy Orders, though it really depends. If I'm correct the document condemning those orders wasn't intended to be infallible, but an argument against what the Holy Father understood to have occured when the Anglican Church broke with Rome.

I also have issues with birth control, which the Anglican Church doesn't exactly condemn.

I'm in some what of a moral limbo at the time, but these questions have helped.

Epiphanygirl · May 19, 2006

canadiancatholic said:
I would, for the sake of both your sanities, go through the RCIA together. I believe it will make you both stronger christians and more apt to make better judgement. I also believe it will bring you closer to each other. There is no obligation to become Catholic after, although the majority do. At the very least you'll be able to make an informed decision. When you contact a parish, they'll probably send out the RCIA director for some preliminary questions. You can tell him of your apprehension of leaving your church and maybe he could say something to smooth the transition. It's never an easy decision to leave what you believe, but remember the apostles did so also, and the grass was greener on the other side. Might be so with you also.Just my thoughts.

Mysterium, you are in my prayers :crossrc:

I agree with what canadian says...why not make an appointment to talk with a priest...maybe RCIA....I doubt you'd have to go through the whole process, as you and your mom were both baptised Catholic. I really do think it would do you a world of good.
If I'm not mistaken, you attend high Church Mass?? Do you have a Catholic Church that is TLM near you? It might make the transition easier.

Cosmic Charlie · May 19, 2006

Mysterium_Fidei said:
Help! My mom is confusing me.

For the last few months I've been very depressed, because I cannot make up my mind which Church to belong to (Catholic or Anglican). I have deep feelings for both Churches, and talk about this with her often. It isn't helping either of us. One minute, she will have made up her mind to be Catholic, but when I tell her that I'm so sure I can make a decision yet she becomes very angry at me and the next minute decides it's better for us to remain Anglican. I can't stand this. She never forced any one Church on me, and in some ways I resent that. I hate having to make the decision for her and myself, and feel she has put me in that unfair position.

When I tell her I think it should be her, as a parent, to make that choice, she never enforces it, and we fall into the same problem. I feel like I'm loosing something no matter what, and I'll confess to not really wanting her to decide in some ways. If your children wished to leave the Church, would you (though disgruntled) allow them to attend other churches? Shouldn't you keep them from error?

I'm tempted very often lately to disavow any belief in God, and that of course makes the situation worse. There is a lot of anger between us now that I feel she fails to recognize. She wants me to be happy and secure in my faith, but it doesn't seem to matter if we compromise on truth.

I'm very upset. I was convinced I had a vocation to the priesthood, but cannot pursue it because I do not know which Church I'm called to. I've created my own confusion, and fallen very deeply into despair, but she has certainly helped (though it's completely unintentional).

She thinks I'm afraid to commit to one Church, and that's true (though a bit hypocritical), but I just want to have certainty I've made the right commitment. What can I do? I've prayed and prayed about this. I need some help.

I live in an area that floods every spring. We've paid millions of dollars in flood control and it still floods every spring. You can go down to the locks and dams on the rivers and look at the levers they never get pull to prevent the flooding.

Do you know why it floods every Spring ?

Because water can make a decsion.

I don't know what you're expecting, exactly. I have a profession, one I chose, where I make big decsions in a hurry. Decisions that effect people, family incomes, money. I sweat every one of them. I track the outcomes and learn from my mistakes.

Go lord why do you think I drink and smoke ?

But I never let my fear of making a wrong decision keep me from making one. You see, I've learned from water.

God has never once to my knowledge spoken to me in a direct or discernable way. (I used to think He did but I'm feeling much better now) But I have abolute faith that no matter what decision I make its what God wants.

Stop thinking you can make a mistake so large in scale and scope that you could mess up His plans for you and make the best decsion you can.

Its all God wants.

Look at water, it gets over the wall every Spring, even though we could stop it.

We just don't .

There's a lesson there.

Epiphanygirl · May 19, 2006

Cosmic Charlie said:
I live in an area that floods every spring. We've paid millions of dollars in flood control and it still floods every spring. You can go down to the locks and dams on the rivers and look at the levers they never get pull to prevent the flooding.

Do you know why it floods every Spring ?

Because water can make a decsion.

I don't know what you're expecting, exactly. I have a profession, one I chose, where I make big decsions in a hurry. Decisions that effect people, family incomes, money. I sweat every one of them. I track the outcomes and learn from my mistakes.

Go lord why do you think I drink and smoke ?

But I never let my fear of making a wrong decision keep me from making one. You see, I've learned from water.

God has never once to my knowledge spoken to me in a direct or discernable way. (I used to think He did but I'm feeling much better now) But I have abolute faith that no matter what decision I make its what God wants.

Stop thinking you can make a mistake so large in scale and scope that you could mess up His plans for you and make the best decsion you can.

Its all God wants.

Look at water, it gets over the wall every Spring, even though we could stop it.

We just don't .

There's a lesson there.

jukesk9 · May 19, 2006

Think about this. The Anglican Church allows its members to believe in the Real Presence or to view the Eucharist as symbolic. So either the Eucharist is Jesus or it is not. To me it's simple. The Anglican Church can not define the Eucharist with authority. It lets its members decide for themselves. Anglicans therefore can reduce the Eucharist to a meaningless symbol if they choose to.

Pray upon this Scripture:

1 Cor 10:16: The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ?

Feast on the Eucharist. Christ truly is present.

pdudgeon · May 19, 2006

from what you have expressed here of what you hold to be true, it sounds very much like you are a round peg that has been put into a square hole.

I'm like the rest of OBOB. try the Catholic church for a couple of years and see how the fit is. then you'll have a sound basis for choosing which religion you will be serving in as a priest.

you are old enough now to decide this for yourself. What your mother decides is her responsibility, not yours.

Help! My mom is confusing me.

Romanist

Regular Member

Romanist

Senior Contributor

I trust in You

Veteran

I close my eyes and see you smile

I close my eyes and see you smile

Well-Known Member

Ave Maria Gratia Plena

Well-Known Member

Senior Member

my love is bigger than a cadillac

My life is for the kids who have it rough

Romanist

Don't De-Rock Me

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

Don't De-Rock Me

Dixie Whistlin' Papist

Traditional Catholic

Similar threads