Helping at church.

[RamiC]

Help, as in for me...I just offered to help at Junior Church. I said I could do art and crafts, and I can...it is just that children are like beings from another planet to me. I know Jesus will help with that part, the Bible is not exactly ambiguous about His feelings about the little people. I did explain to our Family Minister, and she is a gift from heaven in her role, so I am sure it will be just fine when it comes to it.

How are all of your churches doing for volunteers?

 

[seeking.IAM]

I have been fortunate to be part of churches blessed by sufficient volunteers to get things done. Not everybody certainly, but enough. I have had Rectors who were very good at getting a variety of people engaged. They are unafraid to tap folks on the shoulder and just ask? "Will you..." -- which is particularly dirty trick to pull on someone like me who whose lips have a hard time framing the word, "no."

 

[RileyG]

May God bless you in your ministry!

Peace

 

[Paidiske]

I have a lot of very good people in the parish, for which I'm grateful.

There is a challenge, I find, that sometimes the things that need doing, are not a good match for the gifts, personality, experience, etc., of the people available. Our parish has had a vacant warden's position for over six months now; I can't find anyone willing to take it on. (For example).

 

[Shane R]

The church I serve the most has a great altar guild team. However, sometime in the last 6-8 months the choir dissolved. One place that I had an ongoing once a month appointment with had terrible communication, never knew what the bulletin would have listed for the readings or anything. They were perpetually in the wrong color. Half the time they didn't know if they were having communion or not. Sometimes they'd forget to pay me for a week or two. I finished my commitment to them and recently the dean asked me if I would go out there again on short notice, since all of the regular pastor's got sick at their pastor's retreat. I turned that down.

The church we attend when I'm not booked has a remarkable number of volunteers for a group that's graying considerably. About half of the regulars are up for most any event that gets scheduled. A few more would like to participate but have been warned off by their doctors or have difficulty getting transportation and other such issues.

 

[RamiC]

May God bless you in your ministry!

Peace

Thank you Riley, I hope for this.

He gave me my creativity in plentiful supply, so I am quite excited to be sharing it with the next generation of believers.

 

[RamiC]

I have a lot of very good people in the parish, for which I'm grateful.

There is a challenge, I find, that sometimes the things that need doing, are not a good match for the gifts, personality, experience, etc., of the people available. Our parish has had a vacant warden's position for over six months now; I can't find anyone willing to take it on. (For example).

What I just offered to do is only an option for me because other people who know children and work in their environment all the time will be there with me. Could a job share arrangement work for your vacancy? It is just a thought....

 

[Paidiske]

What I've tried to do is sort of set up a bit of a team; one person to be the official warden, but with two or three others who can work with them to look after the actual work involved. I haven't really got anywhere so far.

I think part of the problem is that what the church (and, in fact, the secular world) expect of people in roles like that is becoming ever more demanding and complicated, (I'm thinking of things like OH&S, safeguarding, various forms of compliance etc), but people don't necessarily have the experience or confidence that they can handle those demands.

 

[RickardoHolmes]

We recently held our "Ministry Sunday" where all of the committed ministries and groups set up tables in the community hall after service to advertise their services (and supposedly recruit new members.) I found it uneventful as always. There are no ministries, as I have already learned, that want or need my help or involvement I thought it seemed more like an advertisement or a bragging point where it could just as well said "Our clique of people does this" etc
I find it interesting how these groups do seem to have all the help they want. There are no opportunities in this non-inclusive parish for many of us.

Which is why I decided to go back to simply attending services, not offering, or participating in anything outside of the service itself. Come in, worship, leave, that is my main option. I wanted to participate, but I am not wanted past that so I have resigned myself to the reality that I will not be one of those people at the church that does things there.

On another note, I have reached some element of self discovery. I do not like "small talk" In fact I hate it
And that is not to suggest that there is anything wrong with those who do, but that is what inspired me to stop attending the coffee luncheons after the service, as well as the fund raising dinners , events etc I prefer an actual meaningful exchange of ideas and that does not happen.
I might buy a ticket to a special fish fry or international Sunday, , but I will not go. I attended Evensong last year, but skipped the dinner afterwards.

The other observation is just how cliquish and closed the groups there are. I have been attending off and on for 10 years, been an official confirmed member as well for 2 and I thought after confirmation that things might change, but they have not The congregation is made up of circles of friends who are not welcoming to outsiders in their groups, They also have that attitude with the ministries, they do not want new people or new ideas on their committees (OR they do not want ME Specifically) on their committees. SO Yes, they do have volunteers but they do not include ME in such activity

SO I see people volunteering, but I am not included or involved. SO I stopped offering. And since no one asks me to help anyway it is a win/ win situation for everyone.

I noticed my name is in the directory, online, but I never get mentioned under birthdays, anniversaries etc The new assisting priest who has been there for over a year does not even know my name And I travel a good distance to attend this church, as do many others, because it is the only high church tradition in the area. SO finding another place to worship is not really an option as all of the closer congregations are low churches which do not inspire or appeal to me.

Now I have no complaints about the service, the music choir, sermons liturgy even the old building itself are beautiful and inspiring as such. But I do not see it as a community of friends, supporters, anything like that. I know some people do, but I have never really encountered that personally.

 

[PloverWing]

The congregation is made up of circles of friends who are not welcoming to outsiders in their groups

That's really unfortunate, and it's not an easy thing to fix. If the church community is "closed" like this, I doubt that an inspiring sermon or a new program is going to fix it. I'm sorry your congregation is like this.

 

[RickardoHolmes]

And there is one other thing. A few, and fortunately ONLY a very few of the people there are just not friendly I avoid even speaking to them
I understand and observe that for some people, church is a weekly (or more) event and that for even some, it might be the center of their life
I understand that some extroverted types have cliques or circles of friends that they probably enjoy seeing every Sunday,

I do not fit into ANY of that. In fact, I have found it frustrating when people do NOT want to converse, or even acknowledge others, and as I mentioned before, I am not a fan of small talk.

Which is why I am limiting my time there as I can find other things to do on a Sunday morning which are personally much more fulfilling. And I doubt anyone there cares, if they did someone would have engaged me on this already

I was never drawn to the Episcopal church because of friends or people, although it was a roommate in college that suggested that it would be a good fit for me. What kept me always coming back was the aesthetics, the intellectualism and the chance to interact with more educated people. There are some highly educated people, some even more than myself at this church who will not even talk to me.
SO I have to remind myself each time I step in, that I am here for the inspiration, the beauty, the aesthetics, the message that the Priest gives which always seems to be short, to the point and relevant to life today. and always positive.
I am not there to socialize, to visit, to talk, and I have to remind myself sometimes that my best choice is to go in, sit quietly, then leave the same way I came in.
OF I want to do Charity work, which I find to be fulfilling, and I enjoy altruism as well, then there are organizations like homeless shelters, community food banks, community service organizations which seems to always be welcoming of help.

 

[PloverWing]

Most churches are terrible today.

My advice is that if you feel worse and not better after going to a certain church - stop going there.

Encountering God in liturgy and Sacrament is deeply important for many Christians, especially those of us who hang out in the STR-Anglican forum.

Obviously, it would be better if you could have liturgy and Sacrament AND a friendly Christian community in a parish, but sometimes it's hard to find all of that in the same place.

 

[seeking.IAM]

We don’t “encounter God in liturgy” but in prayer and the Holy scripture.

Liturgy is rooted in scripture and prayer.

 

[Shane R]

The Jewish synagogue had a liturgy. It's not something that just appeared in the 200s. Christian primitivism is a foolish way to approach a transcendent God.

"God in time past diversely and many ways spoke to the fathers by the prophets. But in these last days, he has spoken to us by his Son," (Hebrews 1:1-2a)

 

[RamiC]

It something men made up that is not essential to the faith or commanded in the scripture.

And let’s not derail the thread. The poor lady is suffering because of a church and I think that is a shame and she nor anybody else should have to live like that.

If you mean me when you say "The poor lady is suffering because of a church" I can assure you that I am not. I have a disability which causes me to have some difficulty relating to children, but my church were looking for an artist for the children, so I offerred. There are others who are quite able to cover me for the children part. I just asked for prayer because it is always good to have prayer behind things, I pray all the time, I do not require suffering to motivate it.

 

[Daniel Carlton]

If you mean me when you say "The poor lady is suffering because of a church" I can assure you that I am not. I have a disability which causes me to have some difficulty relating to children, but my church were looking for an artist for the children, so I offerred. There are others who are quite able to cover me for the children part. I just asked for prayer because it is always good to have prayer behind things, I pray all the time, I do not require suffering to motivate it.

I actually made a mistake and posted in the wrong thread. There was a different thread where the member was saying how they ''did not like their church'' and so i assumed they were suffering in that sense.

 

[PloverWing]

See this is the problem with self professing Christians - you claim to be on the right path but your actions betray you. The women’s asking for advice, all you can do is pontificate. Which was not asked for and not needed.

I have read early church history and what you are saying about liturgies is not correct.

Perhaps the pastor of the OP church and you have a similar sort of ego problem. Instead actually listening to people and genuinely trying to help, you want to make yourself look good. Terrible attitude and not fit for the pulpit.

Are you perhaps confusing two different participants in this thread?

The OP, @RamiC , was asking for prayers and encouragement and ideas as she begins a new ministry at her church. As far as I can tell, she's quite happy with her church.

More recently, @RickardoHolmes posted saying that he's had trouble making friendship connections within his church, because his church isn't very friendly and welcoming to newcomers. That's a problem that I very much sympathize with, and I hope his congregation realizes what they've been doing and gets better at opening their friendship circles to new people. But note that the problem there isn't the liturgy. RickardoHolmes has said that he travels a significant distance to attend this church, because of its liturgy. The problem is the community. Rickardo's ideal (as I understand it) would be a church with high-church liturgy and a friendly community, both at the same time.