It's a decision they made (technically), but given that a person is in their 20's when they start down that path (and depending on a person's family, especially if they're Irish or Polish, there's a lot of familial pressure on ensuring that at least 1 of the children ends up a priest or a nun)
It's not exactly an "uncoerced choice" in many cases.
Not to mention, there's a lot of people in their 20's who think "nah, I don't ever want a family", and things change 5-10 years down the road.
And there's some rather interesting survey data to back that up.
A 2020 CARA (Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate) study found that about 19–22% of U.S. Catholic priests have seriously considered leaving the priesthood at some point in their careers.
(with loneliness and celibacy being the top two cited reasons)
Are you familiar with the stories of these guys:
en.wikipedia.org
en.wikipedia.org
Donald Cozzens - Wikipedia (I'm more familiar with this one being a NE Ohio resident)
The "leaving the priesthood" BBC documentary from a few years back was an interesting one as well.
With one priest saying:
You wake up one day at 50 years old and realize you’ve given everything to something, and if you leave, you have nothing and you have nowhere to go.
It's very different from other jobs in that regard.
For most people, if you spend 20 years at ABC Corp, and something happens that you seriously disagree with, you have the resume and qualifications to go apply the same trade over at XYZ Inc,.
That's not how it is for those guys... If Catholicism is your life for 20+ years, but now you realize that you're depressed because you want to get married and have a family, it's not like there's another Catholic Church across town that will let you do that while holding the same position.
If you're lucky like Father Alberto, you can find another role in a different denomination that has some overlap.
The harsh reality can be summed up by the study they did in Ireland:
It found that up to 23% of ex-priests experienced housing instability after leaving the clergy, and over 40% struggled economically.
Granted, Ireland's results may not be representative of the US given that the Irish Catholics take their Catholicism very seriously (speaking as someone who had a lot of them on my dad's side of the family)...but those are still some daunting prospects.
"If I leave this now in my 50's, there's a 1/4 chance I'll be homeless, and a 50/50 shot I'll struggle to get by" has to be making those guys feel trapped.
Disclaimer, this next part I leveraged ChatGPT for, but they sourced all of it:
View attachment 366071
If you'll notice, the younger priests were more supportive of keeping he celibacy rules, while the older priests were more in favor of changing.
Perhaps those guys in their 40's and 50's know (and have experienced) some things the priests in their 20's and 30's aren't grasping quite yet.