Telling white people they are racist because they are white is racist.
Perhaps we should back up a minute to address this claim of yours in more detail. I have heard it a few times, but it makes no sense to me. Who is telling white people that every single white person is racist?
That being said, it is true that people have a tendency to promote people of their own race, religion, sex, etc. more than outsiders. It is known as in-group bias. Yes, in-group bias exists. It appears to be a universal tendency and can be a problem with any group thereby excluding potential contributions from people that are different. It is not exclusively a white male trait.
An example of in-group bias was found in a study of businesses in America. It found they are more likely to look at resumes with a name typical of white people versus resumes with a name typically used by Afro-Americans (
Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS)). Other studies found a bias for males (
Journal of Personality and Social PsychologyEdge+11) and a bias against Muslims (
Journal of Ethnic and Migration Studies). So yes, such in-group biases do exist.
Although all peoples can have in-group biases, in America, the in-group bias of whites is often the most problematic. That white racial bias is more pronounced because there are many more whites in America. Other races probably have similar biases in different contexts, but in America, other races have much smaller populations, and hence, any such racial bias within their groups has less effect on this country.
Another in-group bias that is strong in America (and most places) is an in-group bias of males for males, which is known as patriarchy. Although a few societies are female dominated, patriarchy is far more common. Both physical makeup and cultural norms can contribute to this male in-group bias. And thus, there has been an in-group male bias within the American business community that has made it harder for women to get ahead in business.
DEI programs simply try to recognize that such in-group biases exist, that they hamper progress, and that equity and inclusion works out better. The goal is to recognize that minorities and women often are overlooked, and this leaves businesses with an unnecessary limitation on the talent pool from which to draw.
None of that says that every single white male is dominated by in-group biases to a greater extent than other people. None of this says that just being white inherently makes your in-group biases stronger than people in other races.