Struggling with a friend. What would you do?

[Marie333]

Hello, I’m new here and seeking advice from other Christians here. I’ve been friends with a girl for 35 years- I’ve know her since we were in the 3rd grade and we’re best friends on and off for many of those years. We lead completely different lives- she took the path that lead to turmoil, I took the path that lead to a career and stability.

We reconnected in 2023, where she actually helped lead me to Christ. Long story short- I discovered she’s very much a conspiracy believer and here are just a few thing she believes: flat earth, the firmament is a glass dome (as if we live in a petri dish), the folks that translated and put the 66 books of the Bible are lying to us, reincarnation, higher consciousness, Jesus childhood is being hidden from us, people are worshiping the wrong Jesus, and SO much more…. but she believes God revealed all of this to her. She won’t come to church. I’m convinced she’s never actually read the Bible.

I try to show her truth and in biblical context, she refutes it. She uses lines of scripture to fit her beliefs and it’s taken completely out of context. She believes in God, she believes in a Jesus (or some form of Jesus? I don’t even know for sure anymore) but as you can see, this is becoming exhausting, and even nauseating I admit… and it’s every single day.

I’m just not sure I can keep going on like this with her, and remaining her friend. I feel like it’s time for me to end the friendship, but I don’t know if that’s what God would want me to do here. I pray for her but it seems she’s getting sucked into these false beliefs more and more each day.

I’m just here to ask, what would you do in this situation?

 

[linux.poet]

AMBASSADOR HAT​

This thread has been moved from Introduce Yourself to Requests for Christian Advice. The Introduce Yourself forum is for just that - introducing yourself - and is not equipped for serious discussion or advice requests. Thanks!

 

[Unqualified]

i know people like that with their conspiracy beliefs, like a demon or something. I don’t have to be around them anymore. They just won’t stop talking about it, won’t get hurt. I closed the spiritual door of my mind a couple times and now one won’t seek me out like a friend. It’s sad but I am glad, doesn’t have the truth, not edifying not really a Christian. They use that spiritual door to energize and manipulate the person they are talking to. It’s pride, I know more than you. Just tell them how you’re feeling and be prepared to cut them off. They should get the message.

 

[Marie333]

Thank you for your reply. It’s heartbreaking to see her go down this road.

 

[angelkiss]

I have both friends and family who follow the same beliefs as your friend. Most times, we both have our say and walk away on the "agree to disagree" basis. However, there is always one or two who wants to debate and cause friction. I silently rebuke that spirit and say a prayer for them.
If they remain persistent and don't let up, I respectfully bow out and when I get to myself, I take it to God and hand it all over to Him. He takes over from there and I still love them from a distance. When there are the occasions that I have to be around them, I still treat them with love and respect, but I notice a shift. They either talk among themselves, or they will try to test other people's patience. However, I'm quick to silently rebuke that spirit and pray that God intervenes. God wins every time.
I will keep both you and your friend in prayer.
Much love in Christ!

 

[Marie333]

I have both friends and family who follow the same beliefs as your friend. Most times, we both have our say and walk away on the "agree to disagree" basis. However, there is always one or two who wants to debate and cause friction. I silently rebuke that spirit and say a prayer for them.
If they remain persistent and don't let up, I respectfully bow out and when I get to myself, I take it to God and hand it all over to Him. He takes over from there and I still love them from a distance. When there are the occasions that I have to be around them, I still treat them with love and respect, but I notice a shift. They either talk among themselves, or they will try to test other people's patience. However, I'm quick to silently rebuke that spirit and pray that God intervenes. God wins every time.
I will keep both you and your friend in prayer.
Much love in Christ!

Thank you. I’ve been feeling this way for a while- time to distance myself. I appreciate your response.

 

[Mark Quayle]

Hello, I’m new here and seeking advice from other Christians here. I’ve been friends with a girl for 35 years- I’ve know her since we were in the 3rd grade and we’re best friends on and off for many of those years. We lead completely different lives- she took the path that lead to turmoil, I took the path that lead to a career and stability.

We reconnected in 2023, where she actually helped lead me to Christ. Long story short- I discovered she’s very much a conspiracy believer and here are just a few thing she believes: flat earth, the firmament is a glass dome (as if we live in a petri dish), the folks that translated and put the 66 books of the Bible are lying to us, reincarnation, higher consciousness, Jesus childhood is being hidden from us, people are worshiping the wrong Jesus, and SO much more…. but she believes God revealed all of this to her. She won’t come to church. I’m convinced she’s never actually read the Bible.

I try to show her truth and in biblical context, she refutes it. She uses lines of scripture to fit her beliefs and it’s taken completely out of context. She believes in God, she believes in a Jesus (or some form of Jesus? I don’t even know for sure anymore) but as you can see, this is becoming exhausting, and even nauseating I admit… and it’s every single day.

I’m just not sure I can keep going on like this with her, and remaining her friend. I feel like it’s time for me to end the friendship, but I don’t know if that’s what God would want me to do here. I pray for her but it seems she’s getting sucked into these false beliefs more and more each day.

I’m just here to ask, what would you do in this situation?

Far from claiming that she is not herself a believer —I can't know one way or the other from your post, nor even if I had the information for which I would ask— she still may not be a believer. The fact she led you to the Lord doesn't do it for me.

To my mind, your care for her, being exhausting, is much like my love for people of different sorts of problems. You should stay friendly and even close, but be sure she really understands where you stand on these things. But also, whether she agrees or not, both your side and hers remain opinion, no matter how strongly held. God be with you and lead you as to how to pray for her and care for her. If there is a distance, it should be either because of necessity* by the different beliefs, or because she won't put up with what you believe.

*Among other thoughts along the question of differing beliefs, I don't know if you entertain romantic feelings toward her or not, but put that out of your mind, and now! There is only heart-ache and danger there (—my opinion).

 

[timothyu]

Truth only comes from the Father and not from man. In condemning others we condemn ourselves for there is no truth in any of us.

 

[Unqualified]

Nobody is condemning anybody. But obnoxious people are toxic. as usual you didn’t hear all that was said. It is her duty to have a toxic relationship? She needs space, it’s not working. People have to be told sometimes. To back off. That’s not hate or condemning.

 

[Marie333]

Far from claiming that she is not herself a believer —I can't know one way or the other from your post, nor even if I had the information for which I would ask— she still may not be a believer. The fact she led you to the Lord doesn't do it for me.

To my mind, your care for her, being exhausting, is much like my love for people of different sorts of problems. You should stay friendly and even close, but be sure she really understands where you stand on these things. But also, whether she agrees or not, both your side and hers remain opinion, no matter how strongly held. God be with you and lead you as to how to pray for her and care for her. If there is a distance, it should be either because of necessity* by the different beliefs, or because she won't put up with what you believe.

*Among other thoughts along the question of differing beliefs, I don't know if you entertain romantic feelings toward her or not, but put that out of your mind, and now! There is only heart-ache and danger there (—my opinion).

Oh no. I’m happily married and my husband and I live a God centered/God focused marriage. I would never have romantic feelings for her or any female, ever. She’s only ever been just a friend. I appreciate your reply otherwise and will keep praying for her.

 

[eleos1954]

Hello, I’m new here and seeking advice from other Christians here. I’ve been friends with a girl for 35 years- I’ve know her since we were in the 3rd grade and we’re best friends on and off for many of those years. We lead completely different lives- she took the path that lead to turmoil, I took the path that lead to a career and stability.

We reconnected in 2023, where she actually helped lead me to Christ. Long story short- I discovered she’s very much a conspiracy believer and here are just a few thing she believes: flat earth, the firmament is a glass dome (as if we live in a petri dish), the folks that translated and put the 66 books of the Bible are lying to us, reincarnation, higher consciousness, Jesus childhood is being hidden from us, people are worshiping the wrong Jesus, and SO much more…. but she believes God revealed all of this to her. She won’t come to church. I’m convinced she’s never actually read the Bible.

I try to show her truth and in biblical context, she refutes it. She uses lines of scripture to fit her beliefs and it’s taken completely out of context. She believes in God, she believes in a Jesus (or some form of Jesus? I don’t even know for sure anymore) but as you can see, this is becoming exhausting, and even nauseating I admit… and it’s every single day.

I’m just not sure I can keep going on like this with her, and remaining her friend. I feel like it’s time for me to end the friendship, but I don’t know if that’s what God would want me to do here. I pray for her but it seems she’s getting sucked into these false beliefs more and more each day.

I’m just here to ask, what would you do in this situation?

We are called to live in peace whenever possible ... sometimes it's not possible ... and necessary to walk away ... yet remain in prayer for those whom you choose to walk away from, this may even include family members. If relationships are continuously disturbing your peace walk away from them ... it serves no good purpose.

1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'

The Bible generally advises against staying in bad relationships, encouraging people to distance themselves from those who are harmful or morally corrupt, often citing verses like "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33), which warns against associating with people who have negative influences; it also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and seeking reconciliation when possible, while recognizing that sometimes severing ties may be necessary to protect oneself from further damage.

 

[Zceptre]

Strong love with strong boundaries.

I can think of no other solution to such a delicate situation.

Otherwise, if one cannot be reasoned with... alas...

Being reasonable in a friendship is the only way to not be controlling.

Painful stuff. I just had to do similar.

Boundaries or disconnect is about the only two options for these instances.

Will pray for you in this.

 

[HIM]

Hello, I’m new here and seeking advice from other Christians here. I’ve been friends with a girl for 35 years- I’ve know her since we were in the 3rd grade and we’re best friends on and off for many of those years. We lead completely different lives- she took the path that lead to turmoil, I took the path that lead to a career and stability.

We reconnected in 2023, where she actually helped lead me to Christ. Long story short- I discovered she’s very much a conspiracy believer and here are just a few thing she believes: flat earth, the firmament is a glass dome (as if we live in a petri dish), the folks that translated and put the 66 books of the Bible are lying to us, reincarnation, higher consciousness, Jesus childhood is being hidden from us, people are worshiping the wrong Jesus, and SO much more…. but she believes God revealed all of this to her. She won’t come to church. I’m convinced she’s never actually read the Bible.

I try to show her truth and in biblical context, she refutes it. She uses lines of scripture to fit her beliefs and it’s taken completely out of context. She believes in God, she believes in a Jesus (or some form of Jesus? I don’t even know for sure anymore) but as you can see, this is becoming exhausting, and even nauseating I admit… and it’s every single day.

I’m just not sure I can keep going on like this with her, and remaining her friend. I feel like it’s time for me to end the friendship, but I don’t know if that’s what God would want me to do here. I pray for her but it seems she’s getting sucked into these false beliefs more and more each day.

I’m just here to ask, what would you do in this situation?

Hey there Marie, You don't have to hang out. But Stay in prayer and Just be there for her when she needs you and show her Jesus.

 

[fm107]

Hello, I’m new here and seeking advice from other Christians here. I’ve been friends with a girl for 35 years- I’ve know her since we were in the 3rd grade and we’re best friends on and off for many of those years. We lead completely different lives- she took the path that lead to turmoil, I took the path that lead to a career and stability.

We reconnected in 2023, where she actually helped lead me to Christ. Long story short- I discovered she’s very much a conspiracy believer and here are just a few thing she believes: flat earth, the firmament is a glass dome (as if we live in a petri dish), the folks that translated and put the 66 books of the Bible are lying to us, reincarnation, higher consciousness, Jesus childhood is being hidden from us, people are worshiping the wrong Jesus, and SO much more…. but she believes God revealed all of this to her. She won’t come to church. I’m convinced she’s never actually read the Bible.

I try to show her truth and in biblical context, she refutes it. She uses lines of scripture to fit her beliefs and it’s taken completely out of context. She believes in God, she believes in a Jesus (or some form of Jesus? I don’t even know for sure anymore) but as you can see, this is becoming exhausting, and even nauseating I admit… and it’s every single day.

I’m just not sure I can keep going on like this with her, and remaining her friend. I feel like it’s time for me to end the friendship, but I don’t know if that’s what God would want me to do here. I pray for her but it seems she’s getting sucked into these false beliefs more and more each day.

I’m just here to ask, what would you do in this situation?

I won't pretend to know the answer to your situation.

But here are 7 thoughts for your consideration:

1) it could be your friend knows some truth but is not herself saved from her sins. My parents were saved by a minister who himself had not had his sins washed away. God can use people to bring us to Him whether they be true Christians or not

2) If you care for your friend, keep praying for her, that God would work on her heart and pray for wisdom for yourself. The only person who can work in your friends heart to soften it and make her see the truth is the Holy Spirit.

John 16:13
But when *he* is come, the Spirit of truth, he shall guide you into all the truth

3) if your friend is not yet a genuine Christian, you will not win her over by arguments, even if they are sound. She needs the Holy Spirit in her before she can comprehend the truth

1 Cor 2:14
But [the] natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him; and he cannot know [them] because they are spiritually discerned

4) avoid getting into contentious arguments with your friend over any issues. This will not win her over and not present you and your message in a good light. Gentleness, meekness and a lot of patience is needed:

2 Timothy 2:24
and a bondman of [the] Lord ought not to contend, but be gentle towards all; apt to teach; forbearing

5) there are certain subjects to try to steer away from, such as conspiracy theories, whether they be related to secular things or conspiracies about the bible - these sorts of conversations are merely intellectual and will not help anyone who engages in them. It is not intellectual side of things you want to engage with her in, but the heart and conscience is what you want to reach. If she wants to believe in conspiracy theories that is fine, but if I were you I would just listen and not give it much of your energy.

2 Timothy 2:14
Of these things put in remembrance, testifying earnestly before the Lord not to have disputes of words, profitable for nothing, to the subversion of the hearers.

6) the subjects you do want to talk to her about, without forcing the conversation, would pertain to the gospel - which aims at reaching her conscience and her heart

7) only once your friend is truly saved, will she really have the capacity to receive truth and sound doctrine. Once she has that, she should then have the spiritual comprehension to see that all these conspiracy theories are mostly silly and she will have a more sound mind, grounded in the truth. To try arguing with her over these matters, is really putting the cart before the horse, if she isn't truly saved. It will only leave you frustrated and perplexed.

 

[Jo555]

Hello, I’m new here and seeking advice from other Christians here. I’ve been friends with a girl for 35 years- I’ve know her since we were in the 3rd grade and we’re best friends on and off for many of those years. We lead completely different lives- she took the path that lead to turmoil, I took the path that lead to a career and stability.

We reconnected in 2023, where she actually helped lead me to Christ. Long story short- I discovered she’s very much a conspiracy believer and here are just a few thing she believes: flat earth, the firmament is a glass dome (as if we live in a petri dish), the folks that translated and put the 66 books of the Bible are lying to us, reincarnation, higher consciousness, Jesus childhood is being hidden from us, people are worshiping the wrong Jesus, and SO much more…. but she believes God revealed all of this to her. She won’t come to church. I’m convinced she’s never actually read the Bible.

I try to show her truth and in biblical context, she refutes it. She uses lines of scripture to fit her beliefs and it’s taken completely out of context. She believes in God, she believes in a Jesus (or some form of Jesus? I don’t even know for sure anymore) but as you can see, this is becoming exhausting, and even nauseating I admit… and it’s every single day.

I’m just not sure I can keep going on like this with her, and remaining her friend. I feel like it’s time for me to end the friendship, but I don’t know if that’s what God would want me to do here. I pray for her but it seems she’s getting sucked into these false beliefs more and more each day.

I’m just here to ask, what would you do in this situation?

I don't think any of us can make that decision for you, but, as you requested, give you advice.

After many years of putting up with just about everything from people, and getting emotionally sick, I'm now big on boundaries.

If someone is affecting you in a negative way, whether due to their lack or yours, that's probably a good time to put up boundaries. She is listening to doctrines influenced by demons. It's spiritual warfare. You can't fight in the flesh. I'd highly recommend praying for her too.

It will eventually be between you and God, what you choose to do.