I'm A Loser

[All Becomes New]

I feel like a failure. I don't think my life can change much.

Some facts.

I am 38 years old. I have not been in the workforce for years. I have a severe and fairly rare mental illness called schizoaffective disorder, which is basically a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar without having enough symptoms for a dual diagnosis. I have massive sleep issues, and there are many nights I don't sleep at all (which is horrible for my brain health). I am a smoker. I don't have a girlfriend or anything because I don't feel like I am worthy enough to be someone's husband. My house is a mess. I spend a lot of time every day on X and don't have much to show for it. I wrote a book and published it myself, and it was a huge dud.

The things I have going for me right now are leading a Bible study at my apartment complex, working out somewhat regularly, and trying to change my diet. I'm also trying to find a way to help out one of the churches that I am going to. I called a pregnancy center about two weeks ago to see if I could volunteer there, and I never heard back from them. It's like the world has given up on me. I am relatively intelligent, but I have some issues that keep me from being successful. I am not even depressed, I just know that at least on paper I am not doing anything with my life and I don't think I have any time left to turn things around. It's just discouraging.

/rant

 

[Zceptre]

You didn't even mention what is most important.

God in the flesh as Jesus Christ died for you on a cross and you are forgiven and have moments left (Rapture) before ultimate freedom.
2 Corinthians 4:17

You are certainly NOT... a loser, being that you believe in Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37

I can definitely understand your position mentality in that relative to what is ideal in your own mind you are not where or what you want to be maybe.

But a loser is not what Lord Jesus was on the cross, nor while they were beating Him, nor while they questioned Him trying to trap Him rather than give Him honor and respect during His ministry.

You are loved with a love that is absolutely indescribable.
Romans 8:32

God gave HIS SON to save me and you. While I think we brush over this as metaphorical, I really don't think God is exaggerating and it was giving us everything.
Genesis 22:12

It was the ultimate test of Abraham's love for God and whether He was genuine and loved God more than literally anything.

Which means only one thing...

God REALLY loves you!!! A LOT!!!

He proved it.

Did I mention that you are NOT a loser?

Because you are NOT a loser.

Look up Dan Mohler and Curry Blake of JGLM and PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens.

The mental struggles are real and they can really drag us down, but that just means we will have a few more scars to show off at the end of our battle.
Philippians 4:13

You have God on your side. He is for you and not against you.

He will not give up on you, if you do not give up on Him!

John 3:17
"For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel like a failure. I don't think my life can change much.

Some facts.

I am 38 years old. I have not been in the workforce for years. I have a severe and fairly rare mental illness called schizoaffective disorder, which is basically a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar without having enough symptoms for a dual diagnosis. I have massive sleep issues, and there are many nights I don't sleep at all (which is horrible for my brain health). I am a smoker. I don't have a girlfriend or anything because I don't feel like I am worthy enough to be someone's husband. My house is a mess. I spend a lot of time every day on X and don't have much to show for it. I wrote a book and published it myself, and it was a huge dud.

The things I have going for me right now are leading a Bible study at my apartment complex, working out somewhat regularly, and trying to change my diet. I'm also trying to find a way to help out one of the churches that I am going to. I called a pregnancy center about two weeks ago to see if I could volunteer there, and I never heard back from them. It's like the world has given up on me. I am relatively intelligent, but I have some issues that keep me from being successful. I am not even depressed, I just know that at least on paper I am not doing anything with my life and I don't think I have any time left to turn things around. It's just discouraging.

/rant

Wow, dude! That doesn't make anyone a loser. I wish I could do that! You can't be too much of a loser if you're leading people, especially leading people to Christ - and that's one of the biggest things we're supposed to be doing. I see some of you're posts, you seem intelligent & compassionate. A lot of this is in your head, I think. May it motivate you to get to where you want to as the Lord wills.

I know a man in his 50's who was depressed & bed ridden until his 40's. Now he's a motivational speaker. It's never too late to turn around, & you're already much better off then his starting spot was.

 

[Lost4words]

38 is young. You have your whole life ahead if you. You are already doing good things.

Obviously you pray about your feelings etc. Trust in God my friend. Keep striving dor fulfilment and happiness. Never give in.

Talk to your church, your pastor. Seek guidance...

God bless you my friend

 

[ozso]

I feel like a failure. I don't think my life can change much.

Some facts.

I am 38 years old. I have not been in the workforce for years. I have a severe and fairly rare mental illness called schizoaffective disorder, which is basically a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar without having enough symptoms for a dual diagnosis. I have massive sleep issues, and there are many nights I don't sleep at all (which is horrible for my brain health). I am a smoker. I don't have a girlfriend or anything because I don't feel like I am worthy enough to be someone's husband. My house is a mess. I spend a lot of time every day on X and don't have much to show for it. I wrote a book and published it myself, and it was a huge dud.

The things I have going for me right now are leading a Bible study at my apartment complex, working out somewhat regularly, and trying to change my diet. I'm also trying to find a way to help out one of the churches that I am going to. I called a pregnancy center about two weeks ago to see if I could volunteer there, and I never heard back from them. It's like the world has given up on me. I am relatively intelligent, but I have some issues that keep me from being successful. I am not even depressed, I just know that at least on paper I am not doing anything with my life and I don't think I have any time left to turn things around. It's just discouraging.

/rant

Having a disability doesn't make one a loser. You're just disadvantaged. Mostly by worldly standards of success. I say that as someone with a mental disability who can tell pretty much the same "loser" story. Count your blessings. You could be a lot more severely disabled and disadvantaged. "I weapt over having no shoes, until I met someone with no feet".

 

[Diamond72]

I have a severe and fairly rare mental illness

The Bible tells us we are to have the mind of Christ. There are at least two or three hundred scriptures that talk about this.

For example: Romans 12:2 (NIV): > "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

My pastor preached well over 200 sermons on different scriptures that talk about the mind of Christ.

Philippians 2:5 "Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus"

​

 

[timf]

There is volunteer work that you can get because it is difficult to fill certain tasks. I talked with a gal that ran a humane society. She said they get lots of volunteers because everyone wants to cuddle a cute puppy. Unfortunately most of the work they has was shoveling poop and euthanizing animals.

It is a good thing to keep a routine going so the momentum sort of sets an inertial component in your life.