The gulf between sensual massage by a spouse and massage by a massage therapist is gigantic. And women are not putting themselves in a situation of potential sensuality by getting massages. They are contracting a service by a professional for a specific purpose. It’s not anything nefarious, it’s got clearly defined boundaries, and it’s as silly to say it’s sexually charged. It’s like saying your visit to a physical therapist or to mammography is sexually charged.
I've never seen a mammogram done outside the confines of a medical establishment. I would suggest that any women here in need of a mammogram don't schedule appointments with private contractors in their homes or rooms at the Motel 6 they rented.
This whole thread has taken a bizarre turn where a guy asking strangers for advice has basically been berated and accused of shortcomings in trust or insecurity by people who either didn't read the OP or forgotten it by now.
Let's recap....
The man in the OP thought his wife was getting what sounds like rather frequent massages in a spa-type setting. He's recently learned that isn't the case. It's a much more secluded and private type setting that suggests the masseuse isn't at some hospital, medical office, or spa. It suggests he's the type of masseuse who either comes to his clients....or in the wife's case,his clients come to him where he has his massage table.
It's entirely pointless to tell the OP that because this is a professional in a professional setting like a spa or medical establishment he's being unreasonable. If this were a professional setting like a spa or medical establishment....it doesn't seem like the OP would be bothered at all. Unfortunately, greasing up nude women and rubbing them down is one of those jobs you can do from home. Perhaps he makes more money that way....but it seems unlikely, as he wouldn't have to advertise at a spa, and more people are going to be comfortable in a spa type setting than in some stranger's home. It seems more likely that even after the spa takes their cut....he's going to have access to a larger and more steady client base at a spa. For whatever reason, this guy prefers to work away from the confines of a professional structure.
I've also noticed a weird tendency by the same posters defending the wife (even though he hasn't accused her of anything) and shaming the husband to invent some sort of serious medical cause for these massages. The reasons given for the massages in order are 1. Relaxation. A self indulgence. 2. A stiff neck....and 3. A sore back. Again generally speaking (unless she's a competitive athlete or working manual labor like a construction job) the reason for the massages seem to be relaxation....a reason that can be satisfied in multiple ways that don't involve massages. When I hear "stiff neck" and "sore back" I imagine Steve Harvey hosting a round of "Family Feud" wherein the survey asks 300 people to name a fake excuse to see a masseuse for the 3rd time in 2 weeks. Stiff neck would be #1....sore back would be #2.
Yet despite this....and the fact that a client would typically want medical issues treated at a licensed and well insured providers in the off chance treatment makes the probably fake issue worse.
It's odd to assume both....
1. These massages are happening in a professional setting, since he was comfortable with that idea, and only began seeking advice when he learned they were less professional than he thought.
2. This is something medically beneficial for the wife. As if she's in the early stages of MS and Mr Healing Hands is just part of her medical treatment. Nothing in the OP suggests she's suffering any chronic issues or that these massages are akin to physical therapy.
At the end of the day, if one trusts their spouse, they should be able to trust them in their ability to procure a service from a trained professional without an issue.
Again, blame layed at the husband's feet with such confidence, posters might imagine you're the masseuse.
Oiling up and rubbing down a naked woman for an hour in private suggests a very real potential for temptation and unfaithfulness. The husband has been very generous to not accuse his wife directly, and he probably cares a lot for her and if he suspects anything....it's the masseuse. This is the thinking of a man close to the situation and in love. A lot of pertinent information was omitted, likely because it didn't paint the wife in the best light....and he doesn't want to even cast any aspersions at her reputation to total strangers.
If you wouldn’t be upset by her being touched by an opposite-gendered doctor, physical therapist, personal trainer, hair stylist, nail technician, etc etc, it should be no different than a massage therapist. And if those things do upset you, the issue is not them.
I'd also point out that unless a recent update was given....he hasn't returned for the advice. That suggests at least he's confronted her and/or checked out the facts of the situation. Since he's already inclined to protect her reputation....I'd expect a follow-up if she's not up to anything she shouldn't be up to.
