How can i overcome overwhelming, constant despair?

[StormInside]

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[Unqualified]

There must be a food bank somewhere for free food. PRAYING.
Read the Bible for joy. It says don’t lose heart. It’s probably hunger causing it and the cold.
Im sad for you, I thought I would end up so. Don’t give up. How are you getting to appts?
someone has to do some foot work for you!

 

[StormInside]

There must be a food bank somewhere for free food. PRAYING.
Read the Bible for joy. It says don’t lose heart. It’s probably hunger causing it and the cold.
Im sad for you, I thought I would end up so. Don’t give up. How are you getting to appts?
someone has to do some foot work for you!

Here you need a referral from your GP for the food bank. I've requested a GP appointment. They take 2 working days to respond. So that will be Monday. After that I don't know how soon the appointment will be, and after that I don't know how long it takes to actually get some food. So I'm thinking 4 or 5 days at least. The hospital send transport for my appts.

 

[Diamond72]

So i am constantly anxious and fretting about homelessness and destitution.

Good, we can narrow all of this down to one sentence. You HAVE to have faith and trust in God. Then you will see slow gradual improvement over time. Some miracles are instant but my experience has been that we need to persevere. God's promise to use is that He will NOT disappoint us. But it takes time.

So you choose. Anxious fretting or putting your faith and trust in God that he will rescue, save, heal, and deliver you. He has a plan for us and we do not need to understand what that plan is. Just give ourselves to Him and whatever He wants to do with us and our life, as long as He is in control.

The question is, what do we really need in life? Does He not provide for us?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

 

[StormInside]

Good, we can narrow all of this down to one sentence. You HAVE to have faith and trust in God. Then you will see slow gradual improvement over time. Some miracles are instant but my experience has been that we need to persevere. God's promise to use is that He will NOT disappoint us. But it takes time.

So you choose. Anxious fretting or putting your faith and trust in God that he will rescue, save, heal, and deliver you. He has a plan for us and we do not need to understand what that plan is. Just give ourselves to Him and whatever He wants to do with us and our life, as long as He is in control.

The question is, what do we really need in life? Does He not provide for us?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

I am honestly tired of hearing this rubbish. My life has been getting progressively worse for several decades until it has become unbearable. No amount of faith improved anything. And virtue seeking christians just send prayers but nobody ever offers any real help. I renounce my faith in god, he doesn't exist.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

I am honestly tired of hearing this rubbish. My life has been getting progressively worse for several decades until it has become unbearable. No amount of faith improved anything. And virtue seeking christians just send prayers but nobody ever offers any real help. I renounce my faith in god, he doesn't exist.

Been there tried that.
Especially when I was younger and everything did not go as I thought it should.
Packed up my Bible and books. Tried to leave.
Could not do it. He just leveled His rod and staff and led me back in.
Look for it.

 

[TzephanYahu]

Hi @StormInside

Yes, it certainly seems like you are going through some turmoil at the moment. I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a horrendous time and I'm sure me offering a Scripture here and a Psalm there won't make any difference!

But perhaps to small amount of advice I can give would help you.

Practical Advice
I see you are in England. In which case, I recommend you get in touch with Home - Acts 435 . They support individuals going through hardship by giving 100% of the donations directly to the individual. They may ask for a church to act as the mediator, or they may not. However, this site seems to work well for people in dire situations.

Secondly, stop looking into suicide pacts. I've been depressed in the past to the extent of wanting to kill myself too. But dwelling on the subject and looking into it will not make you feel any better or afford you any melancholy solace. I'm not saying you need to be unrealistically positive, but also don't be relentlessly negative either. Because the quickest way to more pain is if you defeat your own heart.

Spiritual Advice
I don't know anything about you really so take this with a pinch of salt. However, from all that's going on in your life, it sounds like the Creator might be trying to get your attention or get you to change. I doubt that before all these woes came upon you that you were a righteous and just person, like Job. Neither am I suggesting you were the most evil person alive. Nevertheless, the facts are that you have been knocked down, weakened, broken and afflicted from all angles.

But have you been humbled? It doesn't sound like it....

I am rapidly losing faith in god, and if he does exist, I hate him.

I am honestly tired of hearing this rubbish.

No amount of faith improved anything.

And virtue seeking christians just send prayers but nobody ever offers any real help. I renounce my faith in god, he doesn't exist.

I understand your frustration, I truly do. But, my friend, repent of these words! It doesn't matter that you typed them and didn't say them. You will have to give account for these words if you don't repent of them, whether you die with your back towards God or not. Repent and guard your attitude. Because what is easy to say and do in this life will be your downfall on Judgement Day.

To me, it looks like you have not found humility in your hardship so far. Therefore, I think I can predict your hard times to continue and get worse, unless you find it.

What I'm saying is this. If this is God that is afflicting you in these trials, it is to get you to a point to be suitable to inherit the next life - the true life in the Renewed World, when all of these days will seem like a short nightmare, because He cares for you. What, would you rather He leave you burdened with your character issues and flaws, and then not admit you into the Renewed World? I've been put through the wringer as well my friend, but in hindsight I'm glad He done that to wake me up.

Seek to be humble before your Creator. Seek humility in your trials. Seek goodness, light and positivity, however small it may seem in your life at the moment, and dedicate your mind and time to that rather than to darkness.

Seek to end your days seeking His Kingdom and peace will find you - despite how unlikely that seems right now.


I realise my advice might not want to be want you want to hear and it may even insult you (although I hope not). But I hope you take away something useful from it as my heart towards you is for your recovery, not your doom.

Peace

 

[Diamond72]

No amount of faith improved anything.

Then try the Law of Attraction to get positive energy from your vortex.

 

[timf]

You might try calling the church secretary of various small churches and see if there is anyone who might be able to provide the assistance you need.

 

[StormInside]

Been there tried that.
Especially when I was younger and everything did not go as I thought it should.
Packed up my Bible and books. Tried to leave.
Could not do it. He just leveled His rod and staff and led me back in.
Look for it.

No I won't. I am done with this nonsense.

 

[Unqualified]

There is hope in the gospel without out it you have no hope. Catholicism not so much. If you went to church you’d be getting fed hope every time and you’d have the hope of heaven. I don’t know why you have despair, God tells us not to go there, but that is your cross for now. Giving up seems easy but working on it seems what a man does. We all have crosses hard to bear. But in an obedient relationship with God there is love and hope. What will you do in the world, indulge your lusts and end up right here again only worse? You have a fighting chance with the Lord not a rose garden. He still loves you and you have not harmed us. Come back before you get to far. See it and try again. Repent and keep trying.