Overcoming a Critical Spirit

[Gentle Lamb]

Did you ever have a critical spirit/attitude without realizing it? Went around offending people without realizing how much you were hurting them and were maybe even surprised or confused when they said they were offended by your actions or words? If so, how did you overcome it? The Holy Spirit has just been opening my eyes to help me understand past events recently and I am just trying to understand everything.

 

[d taylor]

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I am an artist (visual) and a melancholic temperament so, i can be critical not only of other people but also of myself.

 

[bèlla]

In my experience a critical spirit is usually the result of bitterness and discontent. You didn’t get something you wanted, expected or believe you deserve. It’s cancerous and erodes connections and usually draws others wrestling with the same. They’re the only ones who can handle it.

I had a close friend at church who had this problem. It was directed towards her husband. That’s when the wit (sharp), flippancy and finger pointing were most prevalent. While she never said she was blameless she carried herself with an air of judgment I found disconcerting.

There was a lot of condemnation and when she spoke of him I’d grimace. It wasn’t always in private. I thought to myself, he could never hold his head up here. Everyone knows his business. The same happened on the phone. I’d hang up and be depressed even though I wasn’t before she rang.

I began to distance myself from her. She wanted a lot of time and attention. The negativity was like a dark cloud overhead and the smothering made it worse. When we ceased to speak as frequently and spend time together my spirit was lightened. She carried a lot of heaviness and I felt it.

The experience was a turning point in my connections. I was immersed with the Lord and serving a lot. I enjoyed her company but she stressed me out. I was her escape from the life she didn’t enjoy. But it wasn’t my place and I let go.

It was the early stages of marriage mindedness and I began to consider how my choices and associations would affect me. I established new boundaries and decreased my availability and added more margin to my day. And everything improved. I had more joy, peace, laughter, and so on.

I no longer allow someone to turn me into a dumping ground. That’s not my role. Nor is it necessary to express every thought or feeling. Sometimes we need to be quiet or commune with God instead of picking up the phone.

I keep a lot to myself now. Most things don't require discussion. I talk to Him and it blesses my relationships. I’m not the bearer of bad news, a negative nelly, or little miss complainer. I have good things to share and our conversation is rich and edifying and that’s welcoming. I’ve been on the other side and I won’t go back.

If you want to have thriving connections you have to address it. Every one dwells on what’s amiss. Be the difference. You won’t have a problem making friends or keeping them.

~bella

 

[Tolworth John]

Did you ever have a critical spirit/attitude without realizing it? Went around offending people without realizing how much you were hurting them and were maybe even surprised or confused when they said they were offended by your actions or words? If so, how did you overcome it? The Holy Spirit has just been opening my eyes to help me understand past events recently and I am just trying to understand everything.

It is the opposite for me, I try to be funny, to make jokes, smart comments, but can hurt people who are vunerable or take a flippent comment seriously.
I have had to learn to hold my tonge, to try to think before I speak.

Bella suggested that your past hurts/experiences have affected you more than you realise.

Talk it over in detail with God. You don't have to feel forgiveness, but you do have to hand your feelings over to God about the people and situations in your past.

That and the old asvice, " if you can't say something nice, don't say anything! "

 

[Ceallaigh]

When I was younger I said critically offensive things, but I grew out of it. Or I could say the Holy Spirit grew me out of it. However, I still have a problem with being critical of others in my mind. Which I'm aware is a wrong attitude that needs correction.

I've heard that having a critical attitude towards others is not only harmful spiritually, but is harmful to oneself physically as well.

 

[Ceallaigh]

Did you ever have a critical spirit/attitude without realizing it? Went around offending people without realizing how much you were hurting them and were maybe even surprised or confused when they said they were offended by your actions or words? If so, how did you overcome it? The Holy Spirit has just been opening my eyes to help me understand past events recently and I am just trying to understand everything.

Probably a way to overcome it is through prayer and fasting.

 

[By_the_Book]

In my experience a critical spirit is usually the result of bitterness and discontent. You didn’t get something you wanted, expected or believe you deserve. It’s cancerous and erodes connections and usually draws others wrestling with the same. They’re the only ones who can handle it.

I had a close friend at church who had this problem. It was directed towards her husband. That’s when the wit (sharp), flippancy and finger pointing were most prevalent. While she never said she was blameless she carried herself with an air of judgment I found disconcerting.

There was a lot of condemnation and when she spoke of him I’d grimace. It wasn’t always in private. I thought to myself, he could never hold his head up here. Everyone knows his business. The same happened on the phone. I’d hang up and be depressed even though I wasn’t before she rang.

I began to distance myself from her. She wanted a lot of time and attention. The negativity was like a dark cloud overhead and the smothering made it worse. When we ceased to speak as frequently and spend time together my spirit was lightened. She carried a lot of heaviness and I felt it.

The experience was a turning point in my connections. I was immersed with the Lord and serving a lot. I enjoyed her company but she stressed me out. I was her escape from the life she didn’t enjoy. But it wasn’t my place and I let go.

It was the early stages of marriage mindedness and I began to consider how my choices and associations would affect me. I established new boundaries and decreased my availability and added more margin to my day. And everything improved. I had more joy, peace, laughter, and so on.

I no longer allow someone to turn me into a dumping ground. That’s not my role. Nor is it necessary to express every thought or feeling. Sometimes we need to be quiet or commune with God instead of picking up the phone.

I keep a lot to myself now. Most things don't require discussion. I talk to Him and it blesses my relationships. I’m not the bearer of bad news, a negative nelly, or little miss complainer. I have good things to share and our conversation is rich and edifying and that’s welcoming. I’ve been on the other side and I won’t go back.

If you want to have thriving connections you have to address it. Every one dwells on what’s amiss. Be the difference. You won’t have a problem making friends or keeping them.

~bella

I don't think I or anyone else could add one more thing to what Bella has shared here. She has really given a great example and explain the consequences for someone with a critical spirit. The rejection that they will actually face in life. Very well said Bella, very well said!

 

[Gentle Lamb]

In my experience a critical spirit is usually the result of bitterness and discontent. You didn’t get something you wanted, expected or believe you deserve. It’s cancerous and erodes connections and usually draws others wrestling with the same. They’re the only ones who can handle it.

I had a close friend at church who had this problem. It was directed towards her husband. That’s when the wit (sharp), flippancy and finger pointing were most prevalent. While she never said she was blameless she carried herself with an air of judgment I found disconcerting.

There was a lot of condemnation and when she spoke of him I’d grimace. It wasn’t always in private. I thought to myself, he could never hold his head up here. Everyone knows his business. The same happened on the phone. I’d hang up and be depressed even though I wasn’t before she rang.

I began to distance myself from her. She wanted a lot of time and attention. The negativity was like a dark cloud overhead and the smothering made it worse. When we ceased to speak as frequently and spend time together my spirit was lightened. She carried a lot of heaviness and I felt it.

The experience was a turning point in my connections. I was immersed with the Lord and serving a lot. I enjoyed her company but she stressed me out. I was her escape from the life she didn’t enjoy. But it wasn’t my place and I let go.

It was the early stages of marriage mindedness and I began to consider how my choices and associations would affect me. I established new boundaries and decreased my availability and added more margin to my day. And everything improved. I had more joy, peace, laughter, and so on.

I no longer allow someone to turn me into a dumping ground. That’s not my role. Nor is it necessary to express every thought or feeling. Sometimes we need to be quiet or commune with God instead of picking up the phone.

I keep a lot to myself now. Most things don't require discussion. I talk to Him and it blesses my relationships. I’m not the bearer of bad news, a negative nelly, or little miss complainer. I have good things to share and our conversation is rich and edifying and that’s welcoming. I’ve been on the other side and I won’t go back.

If you want to have thriving connections you have to address it. Every one dwells on what’s amiss. Be the difference. You won’t have a problem making friends or keeping them.

~bella

When you say you added more "margin" to your day, what exactly does that mean? Just to clarify please, thanks Actually, another reason for having that critical spirit is being criticized heavily by parents. When a child doesn't know how to relate in any other way and all they have ever been shown is how to be critical, they too become critical. That is what they have been shown, so that is what they know how to do.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

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​

I am an artist (visual) and a melancholic temperament so, i can be critical not only of other people but also of myself.

Maybe that is the 2x edged sword of having a sharp eye. Use it to glorify God. He gives us our talents and we can bless Him and others with them

 

[Gentle Lamb]

It is the opposite for me, I try to be funny, to make jokes, smart comments, but can hurt people who are vunerable or take a flippent comment seriously.
I have had to learn to hold my tonge, to try to think before I speak.

Bella suggested that your past hurts/experiences have affected you more than you realise.

Talk it over in detail with God. You don't have to feel forgiveness, but you do have to hand your feelings over to God about the people and situations in your past.

That and the old asvice, " if you can't say something nice, don't say anything! "

One thing I have really been lamenting recently is that I wasn't taught in church more about forgiveness. It is such a foreign topic to hear about from the altar. Though I've heard a lot about giving a lot of money and that small offerings are cheap. The basic principles of Christ are so neglected at the pulpit and yet applying these basic principles add salt to life. Our past experiences certainly do shape us. To say they don't would be totally untrue and would be absolutely not self aware of the past experiences. Thinking before speaking is an excellent thing to do. The Holy Spirit is our ultimate teacher. Talking things over with God, you know He's so good to us that He opens our eyes to things? How can you even address something when you don't know it's a problem? Thank God for the Holy Spirit!

 

[Gentle Lamb]

When I was younger I said critically offensive things, but I grew out of it. Or I could say the Holy Spirit grew me out of it. However, I still have a problem with being critical of others in my mind. Which I'm aware is a wrong attitude that needs correction.

I've heard that having a critical attitude towards others is not only harmful spiritually, but is harmful to oneself physically as well.

Praise God for the changes He's made in you! Yes prayer and fasting is a good idea. Even becoming aware of the problem is already a step in the right direction and that is also an answer to prayer and fasting as God is changing us from glory to glory.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I don't think I or anyone else could add one more thing to what Bella has shared here. She has really given a great example and explain the consequences for someone with a critical spirit. The rejection that they will actually face in life. Very well said Bella, very well said!

Yes, she hit the nail on the head! Bella is so eloquent

 

[bèlla]

I don't think I or anyone else could add one more thing to what Bella has shared here. She has really given a great example and explain the consequences for someone with a critical spirit. The rejection that they will actually face in life. Very well said Bella, very well said!

Thank you for the compliment.

We met at a church picnic and she needed a place to sit. She suffered from rheumatoid arthritis and explained the condition. As she spoke I said to myself it isn’t natural. This is a spiritual condition. She admitted she was the lone one in her family that had it. When I looked at her hands I thought of a root and said bitterness silenty.

I didn’t know anything about her then but I wrote her testimony years later and detailed her deliverance from the root of bitterness. When she handed me the paper I smiled and said I know. I reminded her of the day we met and shared what I felt in my spirit and she laughed.

I’ve learned how to counter wrongs spiritually. Forgive them and pray it out. The deeper the wound the more you need to pray for them. That’s the love that covers a multitude of sins. And by doing so you’ll be healed.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

When you say you added more "margin" to your day, what exactly does that mean? Just to clarify please, thanks Actually, another reason for having that critical spirit is being criticized heavily by parents. When a child doesn't know how to relate in any other way and all they have ever been shown is how to be critical, they too become critical. That is what they have been shown, so that is what they know how to do.

By margin I mean I don’t schedule every moment of my day. I leave time between tasks for impromptu conversations, fellowship, or a simple cup of tea. The mind needs space. When it’s cluttered its hard to hear Him.

~bella

 

[Ahermit]

Criticalness is fear of being judged as insufficient. Who we Really are is infinitely sufficient.
However, when we lost our innocence by believing our own life story, our false-identity, the ego-self, we became ignorant to who we really are.
All of our fears come from this ignorance.

 

[d taylor]

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What does the Bible say about criticism? | GotQuestions.org

What does the Bible say about criticism? In what ways can criticism be good and helpful?

www.gotquestions.org

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Thank you for the compliment.

We met at a church picnic and she needed a place to sit. She suffered from rheumatoid arthritis and explained the condition. As she spoke I said to myself it isn’t natural. This is a spiritual condition. She admitted she was the lone one in her family that had it. When I looked at her hands I thought of a root and said bitterness silenty.

I didn’t know anything about her then but I wrote her testimony years later and detailed her deliverance from the root of bitterness. When she handed me the paper I smiled and said I know. I reminded her of the day we met and shared what I felt in my spirit and she laughed.

I’ve learned how counter wrongs spiritually. Forgive them and pray it out. The deeper the wound the more you need to pray for them. That’s the love that covers a multitude of sins. And by doing so you’ll be healed.

~bella

Prayerful forgiveness to address the hurt is what God has been teaching me of late. And what an incredible important lesson. I so appreciate God! Praise God for His mercies.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

By margin I mean I don’t schedule every moment of my day. I leave time between tasks for impromptu conversations, fellowship, or a simple cup of tea. The mind needs space. When it’s cluttered its

~bella

Okay, I understand you. Maybe I need to try more of that. Simple applicable logic. I like it!

 

[Lost Witness]

Thank you for the compliment.

We met at a church picnic and she needed a place to sit. She suffered from rheumatoid arthritis and explained the condition. As she spoke I said to myself it isn’t natural. This is a spiritual condition. She admitted she was the lone one in her family that had it. When I looked at her hands I thought of a root and said bitterness silenty.

I didn’t know anything about her then but I wrote her testimony years later and detailed her deliverance from the root of bitterness. When she handed me the paper I smiled and said I know. I reminded her of the day we met and shared what I felt in my spirit and she laughed.

I’ve learned how counter wrongs spiritually. Forgive them and pray it out. The deeper the wound the more you need to pray for them. That’s the love that covers a multitude of sins. And by doing so you’ll be healed.

~bella

Rheumatoid Arthritis. = a root of bitterness?

 

[bèlla]

Rheumatoid Arthritis. = a root of bitterness?

No. I sensed the spirit when we met and she confirmed it later on. Negative presences can cause or open the door to infirmities.