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Caring About What Others Think

mama2one

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if you knew how little other people think of you, you would not care what they think

most people are too busy in their lives, on their phones, on FB, working & trying to make ends meet, there's no time left to "think about you"

work, volunteer, try new activities & you will gain confidence

my teen has been in SO many activities including speech & debate & is now a mentor to 6th graders
with everything she does & tries, she gains confidence

so get out there & do stuff, try new things
it's by doing that one gains confidence in their abilities
 
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SeventhFisherofMen

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I'm a broken person who has no confidence, low self-esteem, resulting in caring about what others think. Its so bad, I care more about what people think than God.

Is this a sin? How do you think God feels about this?
It's tough because as a people pleaser i totally understand. Maybe start out small by holding to the basic principles of Christianity and stand firm in them. Choose your battles though you don't have to boldly shout that you are a Christian to everyone you meet and even if you did that probably wouldn't turn people to Christ. But maybe an example could be including that you go to church if someone asks what your plans are for sunday, that's subtle and can be said soft spoken without feeling shame. Then from there when you have more confidence you can say phrases like "Thank God" when you hear good news, it's a common phrase that is accepted but is also building your confidence to speak up about what you believe.

The main point is tell Jesus how you feel and ask for confidence. You will improve over time don't expect to be super confident over night.
 
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ElCamino

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I'm a broken person who has no confidence, low self-esteem, resulting in caring about what others think. Its so bad, I care more about what people think than God.

Is this a sin? How do you think God feels about this?

I'm not sure if it's a sin, but it's normal to care about what other people think. Everyone cares about what other people think to some degree or another.

Those who say "I don't care about what other people think" are usually the ones who care the most.

Why are you so broken? Why do you have low confidence and self-esteem? Those things can be fixed.

You can work on yourself and become a better person. That should boost your confidence and self-esteem. I know it's easier said than done; but it's really the only solution to the problem.

Good luck!
 
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Pioneer3mm

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To:OP
You said, "I'm a broken person.."
It seems..you need spiritual renewal/restoration.
---
My advice is..
- To focus..on His grace & mercy.
---
Concerning/caring about(too much)..what others think..might not be helpful to you.
---
I am saying this..from experience.
- During my spiritual journey.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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I'm a broken person who has no confidence, low self-esteem, resulting in caring about what others think. Its so bad, I care more about what people think than God.

Is this a sin? How do you think God feels about this?
Welcome to CF. This is a sign of insecurity. You can ask God to help you overcome. Lay it before Him and the power of His Holy Spirit.
Blessings.
 
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Traze77

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I'm not sure if it's a sin, but it's normal to care about what other people think. Everyone cares about what other people think to some degree or another.

Those who say "I don't care about what other people think" are usually the ones who care the most.

Why are you so broken? Why do you have low confidence and self-esteem? Those things can be fixed.

You can work on yourself and become a better person. That should boost your confidence and self-esteem. I know it's easier said than done; but it's really the only solution to the problem.

Good luck!

When I was in elementary school I started struggling with academics and instead of trying to figure out what was wrong with me, my parents and teachers decided to attack me. In turn, they destroyed me. My self-esteem and confidence was shattered and I've never been the same person since. Years later it was discovered I have a learning disability and ADD.
 
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Traze77

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if you knew how little other people think of you, you would not care what they think

most people are too busy in their lives, on their phones, on FB, working & trying to make ends meet, there's no time left to "think about you"

work, volunteer, try new activities & you will gain confidence

my teen has been in SO many activities including speech & debate & is now a mentor to 6th graders
with everything she does & tries, she gains confidence

so get out there & do stuff, try new things
it's by doing that one gains confidence in their abilities

Thanks for the response, you make a lot of great points. One of the things I'm really struggling with right now is loneliness especially because I'm so introverted. So I don't do much aside from going to work, working out, and going to church. Since I'm not busy as others on my phone or FB, this creates a path for me to care about stupid stuff like other people's opinion. Its kind of like a spiritual attack.

I do some volunteer work at my church but it hasn't helped with confidence or come out of my shell. I think I'm going to try Toastmasters next.
 
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Traze77

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Are there some sins you are yet to confess to the Lord? it seems that satan and demons are constantly lying to you and you believe it. Meditate on Ps. 32

There aren't any sins I can think of that I haven't confessed to the Lord.
 
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tturt

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Also,

-“For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb” Psa 139:13
-“The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.” Job 33:4
"I will put ligaments on you, place muscles on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you, and you will live. Then you will know that I am Yahweh." Eze 37:6
"Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture." Psa 100:3

You are God's workmanship.
 
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surreal_platypus

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I know exactly what you mean. I struggle with this, I have always been so self-conscious of what people think of me. I'm sure a lot of what I think they are thinking about me is true, but I know this perspective has damaged me because I'm sure a lot of it is just delusion too. It's to a point I can't differentiate between the two, and even if what they are thinking is true how is that helpful or serving to me or God?
It has also caused me to build a wall around myself, to hide my true self and emotions around other people and even loved ones a lot of the times.. I figure it's less painful to be rejected or assume negative thoughts are being thought about me when they can't see who I truly am rather than if I was completely transparent and still had the same rejection and feelings of negative thoughts being thought.

I can relate with the passiveness, and people pleasing aspect too, although I have learned to cope with that by going from one extreme to another, if I'm not being overly passive and a people pleaser, I can actually be kind of an ass, as in get out of my way or I'll walk over you, I am here for ME and not to please or do anything for anyone but myself and will let people know that. I don't feel good doing that either though and don't think that's how Jesus wants me to be but I don't want to be "weak" or taken advantage of or pushed around so sometimes yes it actually feels good to be that extreme. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium.
 
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tturt

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Either way - That's when we know we need to get closer to God. Get our focus on Him and asks Him to help us love Him first and love others as ourselves with appropriate perspectives. No one can do that without His help.
 
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