scared of god's will for me and don't know what to do

[namers]

I fear what terrible end God has for me. I know that he had plans that Paul suffered "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” which is Acts 9:16 and Peter being killed so that he glorifies him John 21:19 "Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”. Phil 1:29 even says he sends suffering. Now I'm constantly feeling dread over what plans God will do concerning me and it's making me more anxious and anxious everyday. I don't know what to do and I've prayed and prayed but I just fear God's will. I don't feel any love just fear

 

[Mark Quayle]

I don't know what you think of God, as far as love/ admiration/ adoration/ speculation/ etc, so I don't know how you will see this as relevant, but considering that before Creation, everything was about and for him, so it is after Creation. Everything still is about and for him. Your very life is about him, and for him.

When the long story is finished being told, and reality has overwhelmed this temporal view of ours, your present fears will not be seen as very important. Don't let your fears cripple you. But "look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." Pursue Christ with all your heart. "For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will save it. Those who want to save their lives will lose them. But those who lose their lives for me will save them. because whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

 

[namers]

I don't know what you think of God, as far as love/ admiration/ adoration/ speculation/ etc, so I don't know how you will see this as relevant, but considering that before Creation, everything was about and for him, so it is after Creation. Everything still is about and for him. Your very life is about him, and for him.

When the long story is finished being told, and reality has overwhelmed this temporal view of ours, your present fears will not be seen as very important. Don't let your fears cripple you. But "look unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." Pursue Christ with all your heart. "For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will save it. Those who want to save their lives will lose them. But those who lose their lives for me will save them. because whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

So he creates humans with the intentions on having them tortured and killed?

 

[Mark Quayle]

So he creates humans with the intentions on having them tortured and killed?

Old question. Old debate. The question as you pose it is a strawman (it assumes I must answer with no mention of other uses for them as primary), but I will try to answer: As I think of it, all he does is primarily for his own glory. But secondarily, for his plan for the ages —that of producing the Bride of Christ for his own glory. The lost, including their lives, sin and punishment, because of his justice, are part of what it takes to make her what she will be.

The lives, sin and punishment of those "he created for the purpose of destruction", are not primarily made for that purpose, but to demonstrate to the elect his justice and glory.

 

[timothyu]

So he creates humans with the intentions on having them tortured and killed?

God created humans to do His will, like go out and name all the bugs in the back 40. Man however, turned on the news one day and heard things that made them doubt what they were told by God. So they took it upon themselves to put their will ahead of His and the minute they became self aware by doing so, they were no longer interested in His will, but only their own. So if you have anything to fear, it is not God who is trying to rectify what we did back then, and instead fear yourself for all the harm you do to yourself by way of self interest. Not to mention the harm others do to you to satisfy their self interest. It's the dog eat dog world that'll get ya.

 

[namers]

Old question. Old debate. The question as you pose it is a strawman (it assumes I must answer with no mention of other uses for them as primary), but I will try to answer: As I think of it, all he does is primarily for his own glory. But secondarily, for his plan for the ages —that of producing the Bride of Christ for his own glory. The lost, including their lives, sin and punishment, because of his justice, are part of what it takes to make her what she will be.

The lives, sin and punishment of those "he created for the purpose of destruction", are not primarily made for that purpose, but to demonstrate to the elect his justice and glory.

Even if that isn't the primary reason they are still created because of that purpose secondary or not correct?

 

[Mark Quayle]

Even if that isn't the primary reason they are still created because of that purpose secondary or not correct?

To put it simply, God created them to glorify himself in his use of them. The fact that he created them for that purpose, by that means, does not even begin to imply "he created them for the [mere] purpose of destruction". But yes, they are predestined to perdition; and that predestination fulfilled by means of their own will.

 

[coffee4u]

So he creates humans with the intentions on having them tortured and killed?

My view is that God foreknows, not that he plans horrible ends for people.

So when God said "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”
You are viewing God as saying this in some kind of gleeful way it seems. Change that and picture God saying that same line with sadness. He knew how Paul would suffer and die because he sees the future. If someone is going to suffer and die it is far better that it somehow helps the Kingdom of God than it be wasted or glorify Satan.

God loves you and wants the best for you.
And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. (Ephesians 3:18-19)

 

[IntriKate]

God created us to have relationship with him and to enjoy the animals and beautiful nature he gave us. We were created with love. It was our own arrogance, selfishness, ego that helped us enter into a separation and fallen world .
God has sent his son to atone for us so we can live with him in paradise once more .
This life may bring pain but its not our home, and even in that pain God is with us wanting us to lean into him for comfort and hope for it ending soon. We can't expect a safe snd perfect life while in a sin filled world but we can in our relationship with him tell him all our feelings and trust him for he is also a merciful Father.

 

[Jamdoc]

I can empathize, you look at the current season you're in, and it's easy to have these kinds of feelings.

I am disabled
I am in all kinds of government systems having been a veteran and in the VA and relying on it for healthcare
I have no resources to run, not even my own vehicle anymore.
I am physically limited into what I can do
My family is almost entirely unbelievers who scoff and mock Christianity.

If there was a trap that was set for some believers to be delivered up and imprisoned and perhaps martyred, I am in one.

Okay, maybe that's the future for some of us. But.. we have to look past that. If God, has designated you to be one of the saints crying out for justice during the 5th seal.. killed for HIS name, you're rewarded for it, beyond the eternal life that is promised to everyone in Christ.

Our Lord said in Matthew 5

10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

and in Matthew 16

24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

I take a look at my life.. I have nothing really here, I have nothing that I really love that I would cling to, whatever Jesus is offering to me if I die for His sake? Will have to be better. It would truly be finding my life. Because I don't even really have one now.

further in Matthew 19.. now the first part is specifically to the 12 apostles (as to whether the 12th is Paul or Matthias, I don't know. Matthias was chosen by the 11, but Paul was directly chosen by Jesus so that's what I speculate), but the second part is to all that'd be His disciple

27 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?
28 And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
30 But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.

Things that you give up and let go, for the sake of Jesus.. are going to be paid back, exceedingly.

finally, Jesus tells us in Revelation 2 regarding a Church in which they are to be imprisoned and made martyrs..

8 And unto the angel of the church in Smyrna write; These things saith the first and the last, which was dead, and is alive;
9 I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan.
10 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.
11 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death.

so in every case. God has promised to reward if you have suffered for His sake, and I mean richly reward.
You think about the purposes God sets out for those to preach, or share the gospel or witness to people or minister to them.... and you have to realize.. that being martyred or imprisoned for Christ, is among the strongest witnessing statements you can make. It's one thing to preach the word of God when times are safe, who knows how strongly you believe the things that you're teaching? Maybe that preacher would crumple and deny Christ when things got hard.
But to actually go through imprisonment, torture, and maybe even execution for not denying Christ? That is a testimony of faith that is hard to surpass. It's also very costly and involves giving up everything to follow Jesus.

God's not just going to leave you hanging having done this for Him and give you nothing for it.

So I guess the bottom line of advice is as Jesus said in the first verses I quoted:
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven

To be honest, I'd probably rejoice and be more exceedingly glad if I knew for sure this trap around me was going to spring and I was going to be going off to a camp to die. I'd rather die for Christ than for any other reason. What worries me is if this trap never springs and I just languish away as an unfruitful, unprofitable cripple.

 

[timothyu]

What worries me is if this trap never springs and I just languish away as an unfruitful, unprofitable cripple.

And yet even the smallest of fruit with you posting here would never have occurred otherwise

 

[St_Worm2]

Hello @namers, since I see that you are a new member here, WELCOME TO CF

As for your fear of what "terrible end" God may have in store for you, what could that possibly be After all, as a believer, your "end" can hardly be described as "terrible", yes? (seeing that it involves living out eternity in never-ending joy, bliss and happiness in the presence of our Abba / loving Heavenly Father ).

As far as suffering/persecution goes in this life, remember that the very same One who chose to come here and die that horrible death on the Cross for you (to save you so that you wouldn't have to live w/o Him, nor He w/o you, in the eternity to come), continues to love you and to want the very best for you (BTW, the Bible tells us that we are loved by Him with an "everlasting love", which means that there was never a time in eternity past when He did not love you, nor will there ever be such a time, now or forevermore ). So what better situation could you possibly choose to place yourself (your life) in than in His precious hands, yes

Of course, no one likes the suffering and persecution that they are (or that they may be) facing, but as difficult as it sometimes is, suffering in this life has MANY benefits/blessings .. e.g. Hebrews 12:7-11. God knows, for instance, how brutish the love that we have for this world really is, so He uses the fittest means possible to draw us back (which oft times involves suffering), to turn our focus away from this world and its lusts and back onto Him where it needs to be (and back onto our future life with Him, as well).

Have you talked to God about this? If not, you should do so .. e.g. Philippians 4:6-7 (and your pastor as well).

It is, perhaps, interesting to note that the Apostles felt it a great honor from God to be counted worthy to suffer shame for His Name .. e.g. Acts 17:27-42 (see v41 in particular), but such an understanding comes along with a greater maturity in the Christian faith. As Pastor Charles Spurgeon once said (in echo, I believe, of his understanding and life experience concerning Romans 8:28),

"I've learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages" ​

God isn't going to give you anything to do that He knows you can't handle. Remember too that you are not at the spiritual level, living at the time, or in a position in the visible church that the men that you mentioned in your OP were (Peter/Paul/the Apostles), so you can be pretty confident that what they experienced was FAR more difficult than anything that God will ever ask you to face.

Finally, all of us want to grow in our trust/faith in God, and this "fear" that you feel right now may be a very good thing, as it may be the way that God has planned for you to to take baby steps (if you will) to accomplish that, to begin to move in the direction of trusting Him with your entire life, like you have never been able to do before.

God bless you!

--David

Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
.​

 

[aiki]

I fear what terrible end God has for me. I know that he had plans that Paul suffered "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” which is Acts 9:16 and Peter being killed so that he glorifies him John 21:19 "Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”. Phil 1:29 even says he sends suffering. Now I'm constantly feeling dread over what plans God will do concerning me and it's making me more anxious and anxious everyday. I don't know what to do and I've prayed and prayed but I just fear God's will. I don't feel any love just fear

What did Paul think about his own end? What did Peter think about the suffering he endured for the sake of Christ? Were Peter and Paul freaked out about God's plans for them? No. Just the opposite. Why weren't they terrified as you are? Have you thought about this at all?

So many Christians have this weird idea that God wants to hurt them. They read stories of the saints who suffered for Christ and think this is the typical experience of most Christians. Regardless, from what you've shared in your OP, you won't be suffering for Christ's sake. Those who are as afraid as you are of suffering for him cave at the first bit of pressure and pain that comes to them for being a Christian. You don't have to worry, then. Being so afraid of suffering for Christ's sake, you'll bend right out of the path of such suffering, right?

Only those who love God and Christ as the apostles did, who love him so much that they cannot be shaken by suffering, are the ones God uses to represent Him to a world that is mad with hate toward Him. They can't be persuaded to stop loving Jesus, you see. No threat, no danger, no risk, no suffering can overcome their desire for Christ. And when they suffer for his sake in particular, well, it's an incredible joy, a huge honor, for them. They have opportunity in their suffering to show Christ just how much they love him. The rest, the ones who have only a half-hearted, self-serving allegiance to Christ, immediately jump ship at the first hint of danger to themselves for being a follower of Jesus, escaping the suffering that they might otherwise have to endure.

There is, though, the suffering we all face, saved or unsaved, in a world full of sin. And, finally, there is death that awaits us all at some point on our earthly journey. It's going to be very awkward to experience this suffering while at the same time dreading the only One who can carry you through it with stability, peace and even joy.

 

[Jamdoc]

Moreover, I look to Jeremiah 29
In Jeremiah 29, God was telling Jeremiah regarding the tribe of Judah that were being carried off into captivity in Babylon to plan to live there for 70 years, to build houses and plant gardens and marry wives and have children, don't expect this to be a short captivity but a long one, a lifetime for some.

But.. in that suffering, God says this.

10 For thus saith the Lord, That after seventy years be accomplished at Babylon I will visit you, and perform my good word toward you, in causing you to return to this place.
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the Lord; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

So.. to those who went into captivity, those would be the ones that the Lord would have mercy on and bring back to the promised land... even though they'd suffer in captivity, the Lord had good plans for them, to come back and rebuild Judah, rebuild the temple, and ultimately bring forth Jesus.

Sometimes the Lord's plans do involve suffering along the way. But the end is always better than if it had not had that suffering.
Think of it like remodeling a house, first you have to demo the walls and it looks like a mess, like there's no way that it can be made livable you might think... but the end result? way better than the original.

 

[Servus]

I fear what terrible end God has for me. I know that he had plans that Paul suffered "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” which is Acts 9:16 and Peter being killed so that he glorifies him John 21:19 "Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”. Phil 1:29 even says he sends suffering. Now I'm constantly feeling dread over what plans God will do concerning me and it's making me more anxious and anxious everyday. I don't know what to do and I've prayed and prayed but I just fear God's will. I don't feel any love just fear

I can't think of anyone I know of who's been called by God and devoted their lives to that calling, who said towards the end of their life, "that was a terrible experience". Most I know of are/were quite happy and fulfilled at the end of their life and have no regrets.

 

[Jamdoc]

I can't think of anyone I know of who's been called by God and devoted their lives to that calling, who said towards the end of their life, "that was a terrible experience". Most I know of are/were quite happy and fulfilled at the end of their life and have no regrets.

His worry specifically is about being imprisoned or martyred.
It IS a little hard to pony up to the idea that you're going to be imprisoned or murdered for your beliefs.
Our Lord was under so much stress that He was sweating blood and praying for there to be another way at Gethesemane (now mind you He wasn't just going to be experiencing the physical pain of being crucified but taking on all mankind's sin and God's wrath for it, but it's still an illustration of it being understandably difficult to walk forward into your own death obediently, even if not joyfully)

Now mind you, maybe he's wrong, and God has a different plan for him, maybe everything blows over and things get back to "normal" (though I think it will be a "new normal" and we won't go back to pre 2020 times ever again but.. I could be wrong)

But even if he's totally right, the encouragement is that Jesus is worth it.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I fear what terrible end God has for me. I know that he had plans that Paul suffered "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” which is Acts 9:16 and Peter being killed so that he glorifies him John 21:19 "Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”. Phil 1:29 even says he sends suffering. Now I'm constantly feeling dread over what plans God will do concerning me and it's making me more anxious and anxious everyday. I don't know what to do and I've prayed and prayed but I just fear God's will. I don't feel any love just fear

We have to look at all scripture to get a picture of what God has for us. It is true that any one of us "may" suffer. But it is not the truth that every one of us "will" suffer. Take Abraham, and many of the fathers of faith, they had "no" suffering. David, and Joseph, had an emotional trial, and mild physical discomfort for a time, but "most" of the saints did not suffer greatly, Ester, Daniel, all giants of the faith did not suffer.

Will you suffer? I believe it is partly up to us, and partly up to God. We can choose to share in Christ's sufferings, and we can be appointed to it. But God will not force you to suffer beyond what you can bear.

There is a greater reward in heaven for those who suffer for Christ's sake. As we see here:

Mat 20:20-22 The mother of James and John came to Jesus with her two sons. She knelt down and started begging him to do something for her. Jesus asked her what she wanted, and she said, "When you come into your kingdom, please let one of my sons sit at your right side and the other at your left." Jesus answered, "Not one of you knows what you are asking. Are you able to drink from the cup that I must soon drink from?" James and John said, "Yes, we are!"

If you fear suffering, you are probably not ready for it, and it is unlikely that God would appoint you to it, while you fear it.

 

[timothyu]

This is starting to sound like bordering on suffering for the cause, from JW's standing in the rain to pedal their papers to flailing oneself. God said to love all as self. The more you care for others the more others will care for you and a type of hedge is built. If it does come to mass extinction of those within that hedge well, we wouldn't be the first that is for sure and again that extinction will not be at the hands of God but of fellow self serving mankind. It happens every day in foreign countries but the persecution is political on their part and not a matter of standing up for God.

 

[Jamdoc]

We have to look at all scripture to get a picture of what God has for us. It is true that any one of us "may" suffer. But it is not the truth that every one of us "will" suffer. Take Abraham, and many of the fathers of faith, they had "no" suffering. David, and Joseph, had an emotional trial, and mild physical discomfort for a time, but "most" of the saints did not suffer greatly, Ester, Daniel, all giants of the faith did not suffer.

Will you suffer? I believe it is partly up to us, and partly up to God. We can choose to share in Christ's sufferings, and we can be appointed to it. But God will not force you to suffer beyond what you can bear.

There is a greater reward in heaven for those who suffer for Christ's sake. As we see here:

Mat 20:20-22 The mother of James and John came to Jesus with her two sons. She knelt down and started begging him to do something for her. Jesus asked her what she wanted, and she said, "When you come into your kingdom, please let one of my sons sit at your right side and the other at your left." Jesus answered, "Not one of you knows what you are asking. Are you able to drink from the cup that I must soon drink from?" James and John said, "Yes, we are!"

If you fear suffering, you are probably not ready for it, and it is unlikely that God would appoint you to it, while you fear it.

I think you can fear suffering while still embracing the idea of suffering for Christ.
I fear suffering from things like just.. being diseased, or an accident, or being just robbed and murdered.
In those cases.. I'm not suffering for Christ, and there's no witness or reward for that.. that's just.. fallen world. There's really not promise that that suffering will be worth anything. If the suffering is meaningless.. well. who wouldn't fear that?

But suffering for Christ is always promised to be worth it. Then it's meaningful.

 

[Servus]

His worry specifically is about being imprisoned or martyred.
It IS a little hard to pony up to the idea that you're going to be imprisoned or murdered for your beliefs.
Our Lord was under so much stress that He was sweating blood and praying for there to be another way at Gethesemane (now mind you He wasn't just going to be experiencing the physical pain of being crucified but taking on all mankind's sin and God's wrath for it, but it's still an illustration of it being understandably difficult to walk forward into your own death obediently, even if not joyfully)

Now mind you, maybe he's wrong, and God has a different plan for him, maybe everything blows over and things get back to "normal" (though I think it will be a "new normal" and we won't go back to pre 2020 times ever again but.. I could be wrong)

But even if he's totally right, the encouragement is that Jesus is worth it.

I know what the worry is because I had the same fear myself as a young man. But now that I'm approaching 60, I can see that most if not all I know of who were called by God and became pastors and missionaries and so on, did not suffer any horrors. Their life experience wasn't any worse than mine was sitting on the sidelines. I wish I had had more trust and less fear back then, so that I could have had a more fulfilling life as a Christian.