Woman engaged to be married...to a chandelier..."this is a natural orientation for me"

[MehGuy]

It wouldn't surprise me if people who are attracted to objects also have a higher attraction towards spirituality than the rest of the population. Overloaded sense of emotional empathy.

 

[bèlla]

That could be a case for some. Personally though I like to stay clear of such explanations. As someone in the bdsm community I often hear people say similar things about me. Which isn't true in the slightest. Not everyone who is into an alternative attraction is mentally broken.

It is equally erroneous to dismiss psychological possibilities or assign BDSM qualities en masse. The behaviors we’re discussing are on the fringe for mainstream and alternative communities. This isn’t the norm for either.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

The woman previously changed her last name to Liberty because she was seeing the statue of liberty in a love relationship. She has now decided to settle down and has become engaged to a chandelier.

https://nypost.com/2019/07/19/woman-plans-to-marry-91-year-old-chandelier-named-lumiere/

Some quotes:

“I know a lot of people think my attraction to chandeliers is strange, but I’m not crazy.”

People often can’t understand that this is just a natural orientation for me, that I can find the beauty in objects and can sense their energy,” she said. “I’m not hurting anyone by entering into a relationship with them, I am simply just following my heart.

I would NOT LIKE TO SEE what goes on during the wedding night.

Pray for her.

M-Bob

 

[Halbhh]

What was the name of that guy acting in character, satire, for years? Came to mind.

 

[MehGuy]

It is equally erroneous to dismiss psychological possibilities or assign BDSM qualities en masse. The behaviors we’re discussing are on the fringe for mainstream and alternative communities. This isn’t the norm for either.

I'm sure some people in various fetish communities are mentally broken, I just don't think its very beneficial to focus on that aspect. From the fetish communities I visit, most of them are bombarded with such accusations and they find it frustrating.

I will say though, the people who are actually being open about their various attractions and being activists are probably more prone to being mentally unbalanced compared to the rest of their group. To admit to various fetishes in public will often resort with backlash and lost friends and the minds who are willing to go through that fire might be aided with a less than sound mind. Plus, many people in the fetish communities lack proper psychological care. Not that their fetish itself makes them ill, but they're born in a world that generally does not understand them and as a consequence they have little resources to provide them guidance so over time some might develop mental health problems.

 

[civilwarbuff]

I'm sure some people in various fetish communities are mentally ill, I just don't think its very beneficial to focus on that aspect. From the fetish communities I visit, most of them are bombarded with such accusations and they find it frustrating.

I will say though, the people who are actually being open about their various attractions and being activists are probably more prone to being mentally unbalanced compared to the rest of their group. To admit to various fetishes in public will often resort with backlash and lost friends and the minds who are willing to go through that fire might be aided with a less than sound mind. Plus, many people in the fetish communities lack proper psychological care. Not that their fetish itself makes them ill, but they're born in a world that generally does not understand them and as a consequence they have little resources to provide them guidance so over time some might develop mental health problems.

So, are you visiting these 'fetish communities' in a professional capacity or for other reasons? Many of the statements you make are those that would/should come from someone trained in psychology/psychiatry as opposed to opinion or personal experience is why I ask; one carries more weight than the other. If in a professional capacity then I would ask you to provide studies from medical journals that support your position.

 

[MehGuy]

So, are you visiting these 'fetish communities' in a professional capacity or for other reasons? Many of the statements you make are those that would/should come from someone trained in psychology/psychiatry as opposed to opinion or personal experience is why I ask; one carries more weight than the other. If in a professional capacity then I would ask you to provide studies from medical journals that support your position.

I'm not speaking in a professional capacity. I doubt there are studies proving either way for the most part.

 

[bèlla]

I'm sure some people in various fetish communities are mentally broken, I just don't think its very beneficial to focus on that aspect.

All behavior that falls outside the mainstream will encounter some measure of scrutiny. It needn’t be weird, deviant, or bad. If the majority don’t have personal experience (or exposure to the same) the behavior is often viewed askance.

I dealt with this growing up as a product of a conservative environment which emphasized etiquette, culture and class. My peers expected me to mimic their behavior because we shared a similar hue. But it never happened.

The result of those experiences didn’t lead me to identify with that aspect of my person to the point of labeling. Nor did my passion for food (foodie), fashion (fashionista), and so on. While labels are descriptive they also depict a desire to belong. Oftentimes it overshadows the whole while only addressing a part. I am more than my faith and interests.

To admit to various fetishes in public will often resort with backlash and lost friends and the minds who are willing to go through that fire might be aided with a less than sound mind.

Whenever we share personal information with others who haven’t earned our confidence we’re apt to be maligned. Bias is a part of life. We must be discriminating with our secrets. Activists are willing to bear insults for the greater good.

But intimate relations don’t involve the world. If we invite them to our bedroom we shouldn’t be surprised by their response.

You can’t rest on labels to justify behavior. You have to go underneath the hood. We cannot discern her beginning. We can only analyze the result. It is clear that something has propelled her to this point. To call it a fetish is irresponsible. To rule it out is equally so.

But that shouldn’t be our starting point. You begin with an obvious cause and find evidence which supports the hypothesis before ruling it out.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

I guess there will never be a divorce?

Unless the lights go out?

M-Bob

 

[Bob Crowley]

I'm not speaking in a professional capacity. I doubt there are studies proving either way for the most part.

You're probably right. A feminist may have received an award for designing a chair which is uncomfortable for men (which means her potential market automatically halved - I won't be buying one - the hard wooden pews and thin padded seats in our church couldn't be far behind anyway), but I doubt if there have been too many studies done on marriage relationships with chandeliers, particularly if the co-respondent is female.

Had the marital partner been male however, there probably would have been a grant for a study on masculine mistreatment of chandeliers.

In my own case, being happily married, all the other chandeliers can just go on hanging around.

 

[Sistrin]

Best thread ever.

Very illuminating...

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

If she can hold down a job. Her craziness isn't hurting anyone.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

If she can hold down a job. Her craziness isn't hurting anyone.

Is that the new standard?
M-Bob

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Is that the new standard?
M-Bob

It's always been a standard. Back in the older days. People would think this person is weird. And move on.

 

[civilwarbuff]

It's always been a standard. Back in the older days. People would think this person is weird. And move on.

After telling their kids to stay far away from them of course........

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

After telling their kids to stay far away from them of course........

Of course. I'm not really defending her. I just remember as a kid. There were weird people. I personally seen them crazy, but no worse, than typical adults.

 

[tall73]

New information has come to light on this topic.

British Ruling Says Woman's Love For A 92-Year-Old Chandelier Is Not A Sexual Orientation

Liberty mainly objected to being included in columnist Jane Moore’s “Dagenham Award (Two Stops Past Barking)” prize in late 2019. She claimed the publisher breached the Ipso’s code of conduct, which specifically prohibits prejudiced or pejorative coverage of a person’s sexual orientation.


However, while she identifies as an “objectum sexual” — someone attracted to objects — the U.K.’s Independent Press Standards Organization (IPSO) ruled the regulation only applied to people.

 

[tall73]

 

[tall73]

 

[tall73]

@bèlla
@MehGuy

Some additional case studies:

12 Unusual Marriages Involving Non-Human Partners