Hi, keep pressing on with faith in God. You may try reading The Daily Bread devotional from
https://odb.org/
God is a loving Father; He will accept you as you come to Him. As a loving good earthly father does not give up on the child who throws tantrums, so our heavenly Father is good to all who call on Him. You may visit a church and ask for Christian counseling, if possible in this covid situation.
When we return to God, He welcomes us with open arms. it is through difficulties and trials in our lives, that our faith is strengthened.
Try reading the Bible every morning. You may read Psalms or John as a start.
I just said a prayer for you. God bless you.