My heart is like a stone

[TenthAveN]

Pursuing feelings is a losing game, like a dog chasing its tail. Take your stand on the Word, which says that all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. Sometimes the goosebumps do attend salvation, and that's a beautiful thing. But then sometimes a plant that starts out well withers in the heat.

God knows what He's doing. Salvation is His idea, on His terms, and He will be faithful.

What is needed is to reconsecrate yourself to the Lord no matter what you may see or feel, and then to persist in it. Each battle the Israelites fought required a different strategy, and some obstacles must be marinated in grace over time, like the walls of Jericho. Your posts here could easily be turned God-ward as prayers, and they would be very efficacious. Read the parable at Lk 18.1-ff, of the persistent widow. God will grant your request. He wants to. Believe and receive, even if it proves to be an extended process. God is faithful and is greater than your challenges. Encourage your heart in Him.

I’ve always wondered when we find out what kind of seed we are. It doesn’t seem like any other seed makes it except for the one that falls on good soil. It doesn’t seem like I’ve fallen on good soil a lot of the time.

 

[paul1149]

I’ve always wondered when we find out what kind of seed we are. It doesn’t seem like any other seed makes it except for the one that falls on good soil. It doesn’t seem like I’ve fallen on good soil a lot of the time.

The Bible isn't given to us fatalistically. It's not for getting stuck in the past or in what now is, it's for overcoming all of it and moving forward - php 3.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I

Ive asked God to send the Holy Spirit to dwell in my heart. I can’t change myself, and yet I still try in vain.

You keep saying God, how about Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Do you love Him?

 

[TenthAveN]

You keep saying God, how about Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Do you love Him?

I can’t say I feel any affection toward Jesus, as much as I desire to. I don’t like it, and I want for it to change, but I don’t know how to change it.

 

[David Hunter]

What you're going through reminds me of what Paul says in Romans 7:14-20 about sin living in him and him not doing what he wants, but what he hates he does.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I can’t say I feel any affection toward Jesus, as much as I desire to. I don’t like it, and I want for it to change, but I don’t know how to change it.

If there is a lot of sin in your life shame will block your love for Him. Frankly, its somewhat easier in some ways yet dilaptating in other ways like no feeling at all. So rather than focus on things that are temporarily out of your control, focus on one thing, His love for you. This fact will always remain. Eventually your heart will change. Be blessed.

 

[lsume]

Why, when I think about following Jesus, do I get this churning feeling in my chest that feels like my very heart is saying no? I hate it, and it scares me. I don’t want to be opposed to Jesus, and yet it feels like I don’t even care. I’ve asked God to help me to want to follow Jesus, and to want to do good instead of evil. I feel so evil inside.

I’m praying for you.

 

[lsume]

What you're going through reminds me of what Paul says in Romans 7:14-20 about sin living in him and him not doing what he wants, but what he hates he does.

Thank God for Jesus The Christ. Even though born again, sin happens. Prayerfully not a sin unto death. Thank God for The Word. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us.

 

[zoidar]

Why, when I think about following Jesus, do I get this churning feeling in my chest that feels like my very heart is saying no? I hate it, and it scares me. I don’t want to be opposed to Jesus, and yet it feels like I don’t even care. I’ve asked God to help me to want to follow Jesus, and to want to do good instead of evil. I feel so evil inside.

I had a time in my life that was exactly the way you describe. I think it's a hard heart you are experiencing. A Lutheran friend told me that it was the flesh. He said I didn't have to worry about it, just trust that I was forgiven because of the cross. I had tried to listening to worship music, memorize the Bible, recite verses all day loud and in my head, being prayed for over and over etc. Nothing worked! One day I gave up the struggle. I accepted how I was inside and did as my friend had told me: I trusted that I was a child of God, forgiven, no matter how evil my heart felt. At church one day Jesus spoke to me and I saw a light come into my heart. My heart changed and I no longer felt the aversion inside. I thought God had given up on me, but He is more merciful than we can ever imagine.

So, God has not given up on you either. I hope you get some comfort in this. I know how miserable we can feel in this situation. But your are not alone, Jesus has seen you, and he walks with you.

One thing I learned later was that fasting with prayer and Bible may soften the heart, might be worth trying, but fasting is to be done carefully, especially if you have health issues.

Christ love,
Peter

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I can’t say I feel any affection toward Jesus, as much as I desire to. I don’t like it, and I want for it to change, but I don’t know how to change it.

Agape is the love Jesus wants, however I believe he will be greeted with great emotion when he returns.

 

[Aussie Pete]

Why, when I think about following Jesus, do I get this churning feeling in my chest that feels like my very heart is saying no? I hate it, and it scares me. I don’t want to be opposed to Jesus, and yet it feels like I don’t even care. I’ve asked God to help me to want to follow Jesus, and to want to do good instead of evil. I feel so evil inside.

When were you born again? When we get born again, we have a new heart that wants to follow Lord Jesus.

 

[TenthAveN]

When were you born again? When we get born again, we have a new heart that wants to follow Lord Jesus.

I thought I was born again when I rededicated my life a couple of years ago, but then I was stricken with mental illness. So I’ve been on a downward spiral for a little over a year now, and things get more and more confusing.

 

[kvolm]

I thought I was born again when I rededicated my life a couple of years ago, but then I was stricken with mental illness. So I’ve been on a downward spiral for a little over a year now, and things get more and more confusing.

What are you doing to address the mental illness? Are you under the care of a medical professional?

 

[TenthAveN]

What are you doing to address the mental illness? Are you under the care of a medical professional?

I am. He, like many others, has suggested that I do what I know to be good, and choose to follow Jesus even if I can’t feel it.

 

[friend of]

I’ve always wondered when we find out what kind of seed we are. It doesn’t seem like any other seed makes it except for the one that falls on good soil. It doesn’t seem like I’ve fallen on good soil a lot of the time.

Persistence is what defines the seed and the soil it falls upon. Persistent seeking of God in dark times is the truest expression of Faith there is. Continue to seek and hold your head up and God will be pleased with you for trying as hard as you can.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I thought I was born again when I rededicated my life a couple of years ago, but then I was stricken with mental illness. So I’ve been on a downward spiral for a little over a year now, and things get more and more confusing.

I hope that you are not confusing thoughts for your real, born again self. Before I was born again, I considered myself a Christian. Drunk, depressed, suicidal, but I subscribed to Christianity as a philosophy. As long as it didn't mean going to church. Things were fine after I was saved - for a while. Then I sinned and ended up in condemnation. I was flooded with doubts until I started confessing truth again. This cycle went on for years until a friend advised me to stand on God's word, not on thoughts and feelings. The basis of salvation is not what we have done, how we think or what we feel. It is the finished work of Christ through His death on the cross and His resurrection. The only way that I can lose my salvation is if Lord Jesus was to avoid the cross and not die in my place. It's a bit late for that! It is FINISHED!

 

[TenthAveN]

I hope that you are not confusing thoughts for your real, born again self. Before I was born again, I considered myself a Christian. Drunk, depressed, suicidal, but I subscribed to Christianity as a philosophy. As long as it didn't mean going to church. Things were fine after I was saved - for a while. Then I sinned and ended up in condemnation. I was flooded with doubts until I started confessing truth again. This cycle went on for years until a friend advised me to stand on God's word, not on thoughts and feelings. The basis of salvation is not what we have done, how we think or what we feel. It is the finished work of Christ through His death on the cross and His resurrection. The only way that I can lose my salvation is if Lord Jesus was to avoid the cross and not die in my place. It's a bit late for that! It is FINISHED!

Thank you Pete, you are truly an encouragement. Not that anything that everyone else posted isn’t encouraging.

 

[Jaxxi]

Why, when I think about following Jesus, do I get this churning feeling in my chest that feels like my very heart is saying no? I hate it, and it scares me. I don’t want to be opposed to Jesus, and yet it feels like I don’t even care. I’ve asked God to help me to want to follow Jesus, and to want to do good instead of evil. I feel so evil inside.

That is the power satan has on this generation. Maybe you should be baptized. That would be a good place to start. Why do you feel evil?

 

[TenthAveN]

That is the power satan has on this generation. Maybe you should be baptized. That would be a good place to start. Why do you feel evil?

I feel evil because it often seems like I don’t care. My motivations for seeking God are self-centered. I should follow Jesus because He is good, worthy of our praise and He is the King of Kings. I have an unhealthy fear of the Lord. I don’t have the reverence and love that results in willful obedience, I have the literal fear of punishment resulting in man-made works with no real heart change.

 

[Jaxxi]

I feel evil because it often seems like I don’t care. My motivations for seeking God are self-centered. I should follow Jesus because He is good, worthy of our praise and He is the King of Kings. I have an unhealthy fear of the Lord. I don’t have the reverence and love that results in willful obedience, I have the literal fear of punishment resulting in man-made works with no real heart change.

Start this at 4:00. It is a powerful video. Please watch til the end and tell me what you think.