Sorry if this post is long-winded I just have nowhere left to turn. My mother and sister (God forgive me for saying) are two of the most evil, manipulative and untrustworthy people I have ever met. For 25 years they have lied to me about everything, even the most minuscule things, some lies have been so large they have cost us our house numerous times, I've been near on the streets due to some of the lying. My mother is a control freak and will keep everything to herself, this resulted in my father leaving, her and my sister plot and make little schemes together, I know this information is a bit vague but theres too much to say and some information is so bad I can't really delve into it, I'd probably need a therapist. I'll leave just the latest thing she did as an example, my mother abandoned my pet out on the street when we moved yet again and then schemed with my sister saying it was at her flat and it had suddenly ran away, I flipped the lid and got the truth but you catch my drift (I can't find my animal now, hes gone). They say nobody can love you like your mother can but my mother has abused my mind so how can i trust anyone if i can even trust when my mum tells me it's her birthday. My mother has left me with deep seeded trust issues, I don't believe anything anyone says, all I do now is train and stick to the handful of close friends I have, I don't care about being close to anyone and can no longer form relationships because from all this i'd rather just be alone. Another thing is the anger it's caused me, before I was a really free, open minded person who loved life and was always smiling but now I have a serious anger issue, I can't attack my mother or sister but sometimes the rage is there and to avenue it I flip out and have destroyed the place a few times, I even broke my hand seriously punching a fire door, ruining my boxing career, I don't know what to do anymore, every time i calm down i feel awful and I beg god to forgive me but it's so hard, I don't know why this had to be my family, I'm scared im going to end up doing something I can't take back because everytime they say they will change I find out something new, it's really crushing my spirit. God has let me know hes with me and has done a lot for me but this anger is all consuming right now, I can't forgive or forget and I know I should, I'm lost for words.
Sorry for the long post & thank you if you take the time to read it, can anybody help me with what to do? moving away isn't an option I need to be where I am and I don't want to abandon my mum as silly as that sounds I've tried to stay loyal, are these people demonic? do they know my spirit and are trying to break me? sometimes it really does feel that way.
Sorry for the long post & thank you if you take the time to read it, can anybody help me with what to do? moving away isn't an option I need to be where I am and I don't want to abandon my mum as silly as that sounds I've tried to stay loyal, are these people demonic? do they know my spirit and are trying to break me? sometimes it really does feel that way.