Do I even have a chance?

[Sean056]

Hello to all. So my story starts with me growing up in church as far back as I remember(I am 26 now). Growing up I thought that I had been saved because I said the sinner's prayer at a really early age but I can honestly say that I was not really saved to begin with. I have always lived for myself and not to glorify Christ even when I was out doing any type of ministry I had a bad self-righteous attitude. As life continued my sins had gotten worse and I got to a point where I just didn't care.

Well roughly 6 years ago I started to blame God for everything bad that happened in my life and I had gotten so angry. I just wanted to be done with God so I tried what I could to make myself unforgivable. I have since seen that my life has been going nowhere and want to change. I have been trying to connect back with God for roughly 2 months now and turned away from my old life.

To put it into perspective I feel like I have committed spiritual suicide and I have been hereby destined for Hell. I get anxiety often that I don't get the conviction that I need and that there is no hope for me. Reading the word of God condemns me often. I have read on Hebrews 6:4-6 and Hebrews 10:26 and it feels like those passages refer to me. I would really like to lead a righteous life away from sin but I know that I need the holy spirit for that. I am trying really hard to live more like Jesus and be more compassionate but my heart still feels so selfish. The only one who can fix me is Gob but I pretty much told him to stay out of my life and now I feel doomed. I pray that he hears me and is willing to give me another chance but with what I have read on Apostasy I feel like there is no chance. What should I do?

 

[NBB]

Persist in praying and seeking God no matter what happens, this can start slow with nothing happening but when you receive something, is of great comfort, then keep seeking and praying until you receive more and more to get a better relationship with God.

The prodigal son threw everything away, i think this applies to a person who left God for a time so i totally think you can make things right with God again.

 

[Tone]

The only one who can fix me is Gob but I pretty much told him to stay out of my life and now I feel doomed

"Gob" cannot fix you, but the true Creator Who's Name is Yahweh sent His Son Yahshua (Yahweh's Salvation--"Shua" means salvation) Speaks Love, Comfort, and Peace into our lives and anything outside of this is mere noise from the enemy.

The Creator will be in your life no matter what as the breath you breathe is from Him and it is He that clothes and feeds you.

Psalm 139
"7Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? 8If I ascend to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. 9If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle by the farthest sea 10even there Your hand will guide me; Your right hand will hold me fast. 11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me”— 12even the darkness is not dark to You, but the night shines like the day, for darkness is as light to You. 13For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well. 15My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be. 17How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God, how vast is their sum! 18If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; and when I awake, I am still with You."


There is a line to an old Christian song that I love and I paraphrase, "I will hold to the fold of Your Arm should the devil himself come to claim me."

Shalom my friend.


*Welcome to CF btw!

 

[Broken Fence]

Hello to all. So my story starts with me growing up in church as far back as I remember(I am 26 now). Growing up I thought that I had been saved because I said the sinner's prayer at a really early age but I can honestly say that I was not really saved to begin with. I have always lived for myself and not to glorify Christ even when I was out doing any type of ministry I had a bad self-righteous attitude. As life continued my sins had gotten worse and I got to a point where I just didn't care.

Well roughly 6 years ago I started to blame God for everything bad that happened in my life and I had gotten so angry. I just wanted to be done with God so I tried what I could to make myself unforgivable. I have since seen that my life has been going nowhere and want to change. I have been trying to connect back with God for roughly 2 months now and turned away from my old life.

To put it into perspective I feel like I have committed spiritual suicide and I have been hereby destined for Hell. I get anxiety often that I don't get the conviction that I need and that there is no hope for me. Reading the word of God condemns me often. I have read on Hebrews 6:4-6 and Hebrews 10:26 and it feels like those passages refer to me. I would really like to lead a righteous life away from sin but I know that I need the holy spirit for that. I am trying really hard to live more like Jesus and be more compassionate but my heart still feels so selfish. The only one who can fix me is Gob but I pretty much told him to stay out of my life and now I feel doomed. I pray that he hears me and is willing to give me another chance but with what I have read on Apostasy I feel like there is no chance. What should I do?

You got this, turn to Jesus and He will turn to you. I bet there have been things you were faithful in even while you turned away.

I am confident Christ will never leave you or forsake you. This is a test from the tester. Don't listen to his lies. God can turn plan B into a better plan than plan A. Trust Him, He will move mountains to see His will accomplished in your life.

 

[Anthony2019]

Hello to all. So my story starts with me growing up in church as far back as I remember(I am 26 now). Growing up I thought that I had been saved because I said the sinner's prayer at a really early age but I can honestly say that I was not really saved to begin with. I have always lived for myself and not to glorify Christ even when I was out doing any type of ministry I had a bad self-righteous attitude. As life continued my sins had gotten worse and I got to a point where I just didn't care.

Well roughly 6 years ago I started to blame God for everything bad that happened in my life and I had gotten so angry. I just wanted to be done with God so I tried what I could to make myself unforgivable. I have since seen that my life has been going nowhere and want to change. I have been trying to connect back with God for roughly 2 months now and turned away from my old life.

To put it into perspective I feel like I have committed spiritual suicide and I have been hereby destined for Hell. I get anxiety often that I don't get the conviction that I need and that there is no hope for me. Reading the word of God condemns me often. I have read on Hebrews 6:4-6 and Hebrews 10:26 and it feels like those passages refer to me. I would really like to lead a righteous life away from sin but I know that I need the holy spirit for that. I am trying really hard to live more like Jesus and be more compassionate but my heart still feels so selfish. The only one who can fix me is Gob but I pretty much told him to stay out of my life and now I feel doomed. I pray that he hears me and is willing to give me another chance but with what I have read on Apostasy I feel like there is no chance. What should I do?

Your story sounds very similar to the parable of the lost son. The son said "goodbye" to his father, took his inheritence and completely threw it away, wasting his life on extravagant living. After a very long time, he eventually came to his senses and realised that he wanted to be back home with his father but was afraid that he would never be welcome again.
When the son chose to come home, I expect he did not look a pretty sight at all. His clothes would have dirty, ragged and torn. He must have looked a very sorry state. Why would the father, someone from such a noble household, choose to leave such a glorious place to run out and greet his son. Jesus said his father was full of compassion for him. He loved his son. He threw his arms around and kissed him. The son's pitiful appearance did not shock the father at all. He was already prepared and had everything ready for him - the best robes, a ring, and sandels.
Your Father is ready to meet you. He is already there waiting to throw his arms around you and hold you close to His heart. You see, He is far more willing to forgive you than you are willing to forgive yourself. Even if you went away and came back again a hundred times, he would still be waiting for you. That is how much he loves you.
You may wonder why God should ever want you back, but that is not how God sees you. You have chosen to come back to him and He is rejoicing with you with all the company of heaven. Come and join the celebration.

 

[eleos1954]

Hello to all. So my story starts with me growing up in church as far back as I remember(I am 26 now). Growing up I thought that I had been saved because I said the sinner's prayer at a really early age but I can honestly say that I was not really saved to begin with. I have always lived for myself and not to glorify Christ even when I was out doing any type of ministry I had a bad self-righteous attitude. As life continued my sins had gotten worse and I got to a point where I just didn't care.

Well roughly 6 years ago I started to blame God for everything bad that happened in my life and I had gotten so angry. I just wanted to be done with God so I tried what I could to make myself unforgivable. I have since seen that my life has been going nowhere and want to change. I have been trying to connect back with God for roughly 2 months now and turned away from my old life.

To put it into perspective I feel like I have committed spiritual suicide and I have been hereby destined for Hell. I get anxiety often that I don't get the conviction that I need and that there is no hope for me. Reading the word of God condemns me often. I have read on Hebrews 6:4-6 and Hebrews 10:26 and it feels like those passages refer to me. I would really like to lead a righteous life away from sin but I know that I need the holy spirit for that. I am trying really hard to live more like Jesus and be more compassionate but my heart still feels so selfish. The only one who can fix me is Gob but I pretty much told him to stay out of my life and now I feel doomed. I pray that he hears me and is willing to give me another chance but with what I have read on Apostasy I feel like there is no chance. What should I do?

Revelation 2:4-5
But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place, unless you repent.

Begin anew with the Lord knowing you are forgiven. Meditate on His Word and focus on His love.

 

[Tolworth John]

I feel doomed. I pray that he hears me and is willing to give me another chance but with what I have read on Apostasy I feel like there is no chance. What should I do?

You have made no mention of attending church.

May I suggest that you do a couple of things.
1/ contact a local church that seeks to actually put into practice what is preached and talk with the minister, attend service every week and volunteer where needed.

2/ thank God for your many blessings. !
Face a simple fact those who are lost don't care, you do care about your relationship with God, so you are not hopeless.

 

[Blood Bought 1953]

Hello to all. So my story starts with me growing up in church as far back as I remember(I am 26 now). Growing up I thought that I had been saved because I said the sinner's prayer at a really early age but I can honestly say that I was not really saved to begin with. I have always lived for myself and not to glorify Christ even when I was out doing any type of ministry I had a bad self-righteous attitude. As life continued my sins had gotten worse and I got to a point where I just didn't care.

Well roughly 6 years ago I started to blame God for everything bad that happened in my life and I had gotten so angry. I just wanted to be done with God so I tried what I could to make myself unforgivable. I have since seen that my life has been going nowhere and want to change. I have been trying to connect back with God for roughly 2 months now and turned away from my old life.

To put it into perspective I feel like I have committed spiritual suicide and I have been hereby destined for Hell. I get anxiety often that I don't get the conviction that I need and that there is no hope for me. Reading the word of God condemns me often. I have read on Hebrews 6:4-6 and Hebrews 10:26 and it feels like those passages refer to me. I would really like to lead a righteous life away from sin but I know that I need the holy spirit for that. I am trying really hard to live more like Jesus and be more compassionate but my heart still feels so selfish. The only one who can fix me is Gob but I pretty much told him to stay out of my life and now I feel doomed. I pray that he hears me and is willing to give me another chance but with what I have read on Apostasy I feel like there is no chance. What should I do?

You have been on the wrong track all along I fear.....you say that you are “ TRYING really hard.” That is the problem. God does not save those that are “ Trying” to be Saved. God WILL save all of those “ TRUSTING” to be Saved.
The Way Of Salvation is NOT based on what we do for God—— It is 100% based on what God has done for US! Simply Believe the Gospel Of 1Cor15:1-4 and you will be Saved.Believe it and prove you Believe it by RESTING in it......do that and God will put His Spirit in you and instead of trying to improve yourself , like “ Turning over a new Leaf” , you need to let God Transform you from the inside out—- that “ inside of the cup” thingy......” Let go and let God”....... that is Faith! Faith is what saves.
You will be in my prayers ......God Bless....

 

[Richard T]

When I considered that I might have no room for repentance anymore, I made an important decision. I was going to live for Christ the best I could regardless of whether God would accept my repentance or not. Now that is a weird position to take, but actually worked and gave me the boost toward God that I needed. Since then He has taken over and it no longer is an issue. So, I suggest you just throw yourself into the hands of God, trust Him and start getting on track. A worldly life is not worth much anyway.

 

[Sean056]

You have made no mention of attending church.

May I suggest that you do a couple of things.
1/ contact a local church that seeks to actually put into practice what is preached and talk with the minister, attend service every week and volunteer where needed.

2/ thank God for your many blessings. !
Face a simple fact those who are lost don't care, you do care about your relationship with God, so you are not hopeless.

So where I am at churches have been closed for the past few months due to everything going on. I have been watching services online which I have enjoyed. It was just this past Sunday that I was able to get into church for a live service. It was great! I will be going any chance I get. I have been very blessed my life and I have taken it for granted. I still feel so selfish for how much I don't appreciate all that God has done for me. It bothers me that that I don't feel remorse for my sins too. I will continue to live for the work of Christ and trust in his will that everybody be saved.

 

[Sean056]

You have been on the wrong track all along I fear.....you say that you are “ TRYING really hard.” That is the problem. God does not save those that are “ Trying” to be Saved. God WILL save all of those “ TRUSTING” to be Saved.
The Way Of Salvation is NOT based on what we do for God—— It is 100% based on what God has done for US! Simply Believe the Gospel Of 1Cor15:1-4 and you will be Saved.Believe it and prove you Believe it by RESTING in it......do that and God will put His Spirit in you and instead of trying to improve yourself , like “ Turning over a new Leaf” , you need to let God Transform you from the inside out—- that “ inside of the cup” thingy......” Let go and let God”....... that is Faith! Faith is what saves.
You will be in my prayers ......God Bless....

Thank you for your prayers friend! I know salvation is 100% based on Christ's work on the cross and not by our works it's just that sometimes I feel like I am not broken enough. I hold onto the promises that he will replace our heart of stone and if we seek him we will find him. I have just read much that people like me are past "the point of no return".

 

[Hopeful37]

"Gob" cannot fix you, but the true Creator Who's Name is Yahweh sent His Son Yahshua (Yahweh's Salvation--"Shua" means salvation) Speaks Love, Comfort, and Peace into our lives and anything outside of this is mere noise from the enemy.

The Creator will be in your life no matter what as the breath you breathe is from Him and it is He that clothes and feeds you.

Psalm 139
"7Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? 8If I ascend to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. 9If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle by the farthest sea 10even there Your hand will guide me; Your right hand will hold me fast. 11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me”— 12even the darkness is not dark to You, but the night shines like the day, for darkness is as light to You. 13For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well. 15My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be. 17How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God, how vast is their sum! 18If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; and when I awake, I am still with You."


There is a line to an old Christian song that I love and I paraphrase, "I will hold to the fold of Your Arm should the devil himself come to claim me."

Shalom my friend.


*Welcome to CF btw!

I would have really liked to know the name of this song...

 

[Tone]

I would have really liked to know the name of this song...

Me too, I've been looking for it...I think it's DC Talk, but not sure.

 

[Hopeful37]

When I considered that I might have no room for repentance anymore, I made an important decision. I was going to live for Christ the best I could regardless of whether God would accept my repentance or not. Now that is a weird position to take, but actually worked and gave me the boost toward God that I needed. Since then He has taken over and it no longer is an issue. So, I suggest you just throw yourself into the hands of God, trust Him and start getting on track. A worldly life is not worth much anyway.

I think this is some good advice Sean...I second this opinion.

 

[Tone]

I would have really liked to know the name of this song...

I found it!:

O.C. Supertones!!!!!!!!!!



*Last couple of verses!

 

[Tone]

Tonight

I can feel the old
earth shake tonight
Mother earth feels
labor aches tonight
I can feel the old world passing
I can hear the whole
world crashing down tonight

And if I die here tonight,
I know my soul is with you
I'm sure about
the promises you've made

Surely then
I will be judged
Tonight
Surely I'm a little scared
Tonight
Surely now the sheep
and goats are split upon the
Threshing floor tonight

Lord you are my only good,
I will hold to you
Should the fires of hell
sear and singe me
Lord, you are my protector
I will hold to
the fold of your robe
Should the Devil himself,
come to claim me

~O.C. Supertones

 

[Blood Bought 1953]

Thank you for your prayers friend! I know salvation is 100% based on Christ's work on the cross and not by our works it's just that sometimes I feel like I am not broken enough. I hold onto the promises that he will replace our heart of stone and if we seek him we will find him. I have just read much that people like me are past "the point of no return".

I hold onto the promises

If you have “ Been Broken” or “ made Contrite” as God would put it ....all that means is that you have come to the “ end of yourself.” That was the purpose of the Law.To Show Lost Sinners that they could NOT KEEP IT ! It was given to “ shut the mouth” of all that “ tried” to keep it. It was given to show that one MUST have a Savior .
“ Nobody comes to God lest the Spirit draw him” .....The Holy Spirit draws men to Christ by the Conviction Of Sin....Once a person sees that they are a hopeless, lost Sinner who NEEDS a Savior, hopefully they will “ Turn to God ( The Type Of Repentance involved in Salvation ) with Faith in Jesus Christ- THEN you are Saved....
You say that you “ hold onto the Promises Of God”.... That is GREAT! God makes a Promise—— BELIEVING that Promise is what FAITH is! You are SAVED by Faith—- Saved by Trusting God to carry out His Word!
Too many people see the Bible as a Book Of Rules— do do this, Don’t do that—- and of course, the Bible has an abundance of rules......but is MUCH more than that ! Rule -Keeping is great .....God will Bless you for Obedience—- He just won’t SAVE you because of it
God is not saving anybody that is TRYING to be saved ( mainly by the Delusion that their Performance Of Keeping The Law is adequate enough to get them “ worthy” of Eternal Life).......The People That God WILL save are those TRUSTING to be saved.Trusting in the Promises Of God.That is Faith. Faith is what saves.Faith Plus NOTHING
If one has Faith in THIS Promise ( regardless of the extent of your “ brokenness”) it is God’s PROMISE to SAVE you. 1 Cor 15:1-4...... “ Jesus died for your sins and rose from the grave”
I think you can handle that.....you sound like a man of Faith already......maybe you did not know the EXACT Promise that will put you in the Body Of Christ where you are SAVED FOREVER—UNTOUCHABLE !!!......you know it now....REST in this Promise and see all the good things that follow! May God bless you immensely, like He has blessed me!

 

[Hopeful37]

I found it!:

O.C. Supertones!!!!!!!!!!



*Last couple of verses!

The tone of the music reminds me of 95 era...

 

[Hopeful37]

I hold onto the promises

If you have “ Been Broken” or “ made Contrite” as God would put it ....all that means is that you have come to the “ end of yourself.” That was the purpose of the Law.To Show Lost Sinners that they could NOT KEEP IT ! It was given to “ shut the mouth” of all that “ tried” to keep it. It was given to show that one MUST have a Savior .
“ Nobody comes to God lest the Spirit draw him” .....The Holy Spirit draws men to Christ by the Conviction Of Sin....Once a person sees that they are a hopeless, lost Sinner who NEEDS a Savior, hopefully they will “ Turn to God ( The Type Of Repentance involved in Salvation ) with Faith in Jesus Christ- THEN you are Saved....
You say that you “ hold onto the Promises Of God”.... That is GREAT! God makes a Promise—— BELIEVING that Promise is what FAITH is! You are SAVED by Faith—- Saved by Trusting God to carry out His Word!
Too many people see the Bible as a Book Of Rules— do do this, Don’t do that—- and of course, the Bible has an abundance of rules......but is MUCH more than that ! Rule -Keeping is great .....God will Bless you for Obedience—- He just won’t SAVE you because of it
God is not saving anybody that is TRYING to be saved ( mainly by the Delusion that their Performance Of Keeping The Law is adequate enough to get them “ worthy” of Eternal Life).......The People That God WILL save are those TRUSTING to be saved.Trusting in the Promises Of God.That is Faith. Faith is what saves.Faith Plus NOTHING
If one has Faith in THIS Promise ( regardless of the extent of your “ brokenness”) it is God’s PROMISE to SAVE you. 1 Cor 15:1-4...... “ Jesus died for your sins and rose from the grave”
I think you can handle that.....you sound like a man of Faith already......maybe you did not know the EXACT Promise that will put you in the Body Of Christ where you are SAVED FOREVER—UNTOUCHABLE !!!......you know it now....REST in this Promise and see all the good things that follow! May God bless you immensely, like He has blessed me!

When you're in a state of brokenness to the point that u believe u cannot be saved, it's difficult to just trust in God. I acknowledge all of this is true. I guess by trying to be obedient u wanna show God that in love Him. At least, this is how I feel. I know it's not by my works. It's like a desperation...u Just want God and nothing else can satisfy. There's a longing and a craving..yet still u see the badness of who u are and u know that u can't stop the badness. So in your futile effort to stop yourself...u still try to be obedient because all your heart really longs for is God. Does this make sense?

 

[Blood Bought 1953]

When you're in a state of brokenness to the point that u believe u cannot be saved, it's difficult to just trust in God. I acknowledge all of this is true. I guess by trying to be obedient u wanna show God that in love Him. At least, this is how I feel. I know it's not by my works. It's like a desperation...u Just want God and nothing else can satisfy. There's a longing and a craving..yet still u see the badness of who u are and u know that u can't stop the badness. So in your futile effort to stop yourself...u still try to be obedient because all your heart really longs for is God. Does this make sense?

Yes it makes sense.....the most effective way to please God and take care of your concerns is to REST in the Fact that Jesus died for your sins and rose from the Grave. Believe that and God will put His Holy Spirit in you and that Spirit will change you from the inside out—- an act of TRANSFORMATION that ONLY HE can perform .....Trust Him to change “ the inside of the cup” and He will.....