What Do I Do If She Wins?

[Isilwen]

I have a thread that explains what's going on here: Why Would A Lawyer Keep Going?

So, my question is as titled, what do I do if she wins?

Other than the changing it to every other weekend, they are filing a motion to have the kids removed from my health insurance so she can put them back on Medicaid as it's a burden to her and me. The problem is, even with them removed, I still have to pay the same premium as there are other kids on my insurance that I pay for. The $698 that I pay for health insurance doesn't go down at all as long as one child is on that plan. So, my net income doesn't change.

They are increasingly stacking the case to show that she deserves more money. Which is very far from the truth. She gets more than me per month. She lives in income restricted housing. She doesn't pay a dime for health insurance or the treatment of her health.

My health is starting to take a hit now. Every time I look at my pulse it's above 90 beats per minute. My blood pressure is 140 something over 80 or 90 something. It's been like this for close to a week. I am trying not to allow this to effect my health, but it is. Right now my pulse is at 98 Bpm.

If she wins, I am left basically indigent. What do I do if she wins?

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Looking at the other post, you said you made just over $10,000 last year and she’s asking for $400 a month minus insurance premium for the children you share, up from $100 a month plus insurance premiums.

It sounds like she is trying to build a case (successfully) that you are under-employed and thus under-paying.

Since you’re saying kids, I’m assuming you guys share more than one child? If so, I’m afraid you may have an uphill battle as $400 a month for two is significantly below child support minimum guidelines for the state of FL...

 

[Isilwen]

Looking at the other post, you said you made just over $10,000 last year and she’s asking for $400 a month minus insurance premium for the children you share, up from $100 a month plus insurance premiums.

It sounds like she is trying to build a case (successfully) that you are under-employed and thus under-paying.

Since you’re saying kids, I’m assuming you guys share more than one child? If so, I’m afraid you may have an uphill battle as $400 a month for two is significantly below child support minimum guidelines for the state of FL...

Not sure how I am underemployed?

I make decent money, if I wasn't paying the health insurance. My gross was 23k last year, my AGI was 16.2k because of health insurance.

Not sure how that is underemployed. I work 38 hours a week, sometimes more, rarely less, but generally 38 hours per week. So, I am working full-time hours. My only skill is an EMT, so I am making what I am supposed to be making as an EMT. I am neither under-employed or over-employed according to the courts.

When we divorced, I was what you consider under-employed as I was only working part-time at Amazon, so 40 hours was imputed on me. I was making only $1.16 less than I am making now hourly. I only had to pay $68 an change according to what was worked out. I offered $100.

I can only make what I can make as an EMT. I cannot make more.

Edit: @Tropical Wilds You may be looking at the 10k as gross income, that was my net income for the year after taxes, child support and the health insurance.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I’m just telling you what the numbers say. 23k for a one-person household pretax is more than 5k under what FL considers the low-income threshold.

If I were to take a guess at what is going on based what you shared... She is on disability, which means every X years her finances are reviewed. Obviously, the state wants to make sure her ability to make passive income is fully exhausted so that they pay her disability appropriately. During the review process, the state flagged your support as being under the guidelines for two (?) children and that triggered a reassessment. They will want to make sure you are not under-paying before going forward with her disability as you are a part of her passive support income.

When I went on disability, I was not legally married to my husband. My case got flagged because we had not filed for or established formal child support. That automatically triggered the process and my disability hinges on proving that he was adequately support our child. In my case, it was quick work to explain the lack of child support agreement and that he adequately supported our child. In your case, it may be a bit more complicated as you are under the mark pretty significantly for your household income on one person and it seems they may be questioning under-employment (you said you were told to get another job in your other post).

 

[Isilwen]

I’m just telling you what the numbers say. 23k for a one-person household pretax is more than 5k under what FL considers the low-income threshold.

If I were to take a guess at what is going on based what you shared... She is on disability, which means every X years her finances are reviewed. Obviously, the state wants to make sure her ability to make passive income is fully exhausted so that they pay her disability appropriately. During the review process, the state flagged your support as being under the guidelines for two (?) children and that triggered a reassessment. They will want to make sure you are not under-paying before going forward with her disability as you are a part of her passive support income.

When I went on disability, I was not legally married to my husband. My case got flagged because we had not filed for or established formal child support. That automatically triggered the process and my disability hinges on proving that he was adequately support our child. In my case, it was quick work to explain the lack of child support agreement and that he adequately supported our child. In your case, it may be a bit more complicated as you are under the mark pretty significantly for your household income on one person and it seems they may be questioning under-employment (you said you were told to get another job in your other post).

No, I mentioned that I may be told to get another job. That is speculation.

She is not under review for disability. She is coming after me for more support because her boyfriend got her to believe that they can flip houses for more income and she took out credit cards to pay for the thousands of dollars it takes to do that and then they were unable to do it and she still had to pay the money on the credit cards. So, instead handling it herself and dealing with it herself, she is coming after me for my child support.

This has nothing at all to do with her disability and everything to do with her just wanting more money.

I am not underemployed by state guidelines. I am making what I am supposed to be as a trained EMT. Underemployed would be me being able to work forty hours a week, but only working twenty hours or working for McDonald's making minimum wage while I can be making more as an EMT. I am working in the field for which I am most highly trained for.

 

[Isilwen]

She also makes no sense.

She complains that she only gets one day alone with her boyfriend a week (they live together and neither are working), when she gets Monday through Friday while they are in school, plus Saturdays. Yet, she wants to go to every other weekend rather than every weekend I have them. On one hand she complains that her and her boyfriend don't get enough time alone and on the other wants to have them every other weekend.

It is a ploy for her to get more money since time shared with her is more money that I owe her. Where as time shared with me is less money that I owe her. That is the reason why it was only $68 and change a month when I worked for Amazon. Because I got them three nights a week and based on my hourly rate imputed at 40 hours when working for Amazon, I only owed her $68 and change per month.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

The metric that determines what you can pay is different than the metric that determines if you’re paying proportionally to their care. I mean, surely you must see that $68 (or even $100) a month would be under what the state determines goes into out-of-pocket care for two (?) kids. My husband pays, quite literally, more than 10x that per month for two kids.

Just looking at the resources online for the state of FL, it shows that there are reasons she has a case. There are calculators that help you determine both of the metrics that I mentioned above.

I’m not attacking you or your job or your employment status. I’m putting the numbers you provided against the numbers supplied on the FL website, which is likely what her lawyer is doing too. It may be why you’re having a struggle against her lawyer, seeing as you’re self-representing in court. That’s all. I know as well as anybody that they come at you to make sure the kids are getting proportional financial support from both parents.

She may or may not have financial troubles due to investments with a boyfriend, but those wouldn’t be considered in court (or shouldn’t be) as it is a debt accrued personally. Being on disability would trigger a financial record examination (though maybe it isn’t this time but it certainly does), and seeing as she is wanting to put the kids on Medicaid, reviewing child support guidelines is mandatory during that process as well.

Again, I’m sure this will be brought up in court.

 

[Isilwen]

The metric that determines what you can pay is different than the metric that determines if you’re paying proportionally to their care. I mean, surely you must see that $68 (or even $100) a month would be under what the state determines goes into out-of-pocket care for two (?) kids. My husband pays, quite literally, more than 10x that per month for two kids.

Are you doing it without time shared?

Time shared is also a factor in child support in the state of Florida. That is why it was $68 and change. There are guidelines, but there are factors which go above the guidelines such as time sharing.

Your husband must also make more hourly than I do. I can only make what I can make in what I am trained in. Also, a judge cannot leave someone destitute which is what would happen if he awards her the $400 a month. I will not be able to survive on $563 a month.

She may or may not have financial troubles due to investments with a boyfriend, but those wouldn’t be considered in court (or shouldn’t be) as it is a debt accrued personally.

I understand that, I only showing you her motivation. She gets tangled in a messy financial situation, so she's taking it out on me.

Still don't what I am going to do if she wins. I cannot survive with only that much per month.

As mentioned in this OP, my health is now taking a hit from this. Before all is said and done, I may end with a hospital stay. My stress is through the roof and I cannot get a handle on it.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

My husband and his ex are 50/50. We do Sunday night - Weds night straight, pick them up at school and have them until 5:30 Thurs and Friday. Sometimes she drops them at our place to take to school on Thurs-Fri, depending on her schedule. The only day we don’t see them for at least 3 hours is Saturday. And at the time his support was calculated, he did not make appreciably more than you did. He also pays insurance premiums.

 

[RaymondG]

If She wins, you should pay whatever you are required to pay. And you should stop worrying about it now.....unless you believe that your worrying can help the situation......that your worry can somehow make things right. If not, get rid of it.

You think you cant do it......but you can and you will.... We have an innate propensity to overcome obstacles that rise in our lives.....and we are usually stronger afterwards as well.

 

[Isilwen]

If She wins, you should pay whatever you are required to pay. And you should stop worrying about it now.....unless you believe that your worrying can help the situation......that your worry can somehow make things right. If not, get rid of it.

You think you cant do it......but you can and you will.... We have an innate propensity to overcome obstacles that rise in our lives.....and we are usually stronger afterwards as well.

How Raymond? How can I live off of $563 a month? That doesn't put a roof over my my head, let alone my kid's heads. If it does, then there is food, electric, etc...

No one can survive on that much these days... I will end up losing what little custody I have of my kids now because I'll be living on the streets in a cardboard box.

 

[Isilwen]

My husband and his ex are 50/50. We do Sunday night - Weds night straight, pick them up at school and have them until 5:30 Thurs and Friday. Sometimes she drops them at our place to take to school on Thurs-Fri, depending on her schedule. The only day we don’t see them for at least 3 hours is Saturday. And at the time his support was calculated, he did not make appreciably more than you did. He also pays insurance premiums.

Then your husband got the raw end of the deal.

As I said, when it was figured out for our divorce, I only owed $68 and change. The judge himself went over the numbers to be sure and he agreed with what the amount was outcome wise, especially since I was offering more than what I was supposed to be paying.

I'm not sure why his was so much higher, but it was not correct based on the situation you described.

BTW, I know of the calculators you are speaking of, and until the insurance was removed and the time that I had them reduced, the number was never $400 a month. It showed, based on that calculator which is what the state uses, I owed at most $76 more. That was worst case, based on a difference in numbers.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

There are options before it comes to living in a box. A second job, pursuing a promotion, investigating the job market to see if you found a place that values you more, living with a loved one or friend, consulting a financial advisor...

 

[RaymondG]

How Raymond? How can I live off of $563 a month? That doesn't put a roof over my my head, let alone my kid's heads. If it does, then there is food, electric, etc...

No one can survive on that much these days... I will end up losing what little custody I have of my kids now because I'll be living on the streets in a cardboard box.

I was thinking the same thing as you concerning making 10k a year.:
"How can I live off of $10k a year? That doesn't put a roof over my my head, let alone my kid's heads. If it does, then there is food, electric, etc... No one can survive on that much these days.... I'll be living on the streets in a cardboard box"

You see, 10k wouldnt even cover two months bills. So I could make 5 times what you say you make and still feel exactly as you do......If I knew not God, that is.

Yet here you are......showing us that You can be sustained on a salary I thought not possible to sustain oneself. I see your story and know that God is good and he can provide even if I had less income than I believe I need.

If you lose the case, you will be even more of an inspiration when you tell your story of surviving on half what you make now..... So put your worries aside......unless you feel it is needed to win your case.

The Lillies in the field are clothe and fed without worry. You will be too.....for you are greater than the lilly. Thanks for being an inspiration.

 

[Isilwen]

There are options before it comes to living in a box. A second job, pursuing a promotion, investigating the job market to see if you found a place that values you more, living with a loved one or friend, consulting a financial advisor...

A second job would keep me from seeing the kids, plus that means that she will just take me back again for more child support based on more income. One whole job would be for me to pay her, plus part of the second job. Not much motivation there. There are no promotions in my company as an EMT. I make what EMTs make in this state and actually make a little more than the average based on what I have seen talking to other EMTs. I guess I could live with my girlfriend, but that will e frowned upon by Christians and would be considered sin. I don't have any friends really. A financial advisor will want money, money that I won't have.

I have thought of all these things, otherwise I wouldn't have posted here asking what to do.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Then your husband got the raw end of the deal.

I think he’d disagree but ok.

I'm not sure why his was so much higher, but it was not correct based on the situation you described.

Because the about paid is based off of income and cost-of-living for the child. If ones income is below the base of the cost-of-living metric, the amount paid defaults ensure the cost-of-living is prioritized.

As I said, when it was figured out for our divorce, I only owed $68 and change. The judge himself went over the numbers to be sure and he agreed with what the amount was outcome wise, especially since I was offering more than what I was supposed to be paying.

BTW, I know of the calculators you are speaking of, and until the insurance was removed and the time that I had them reduced, the number was never $400 a month. It showed, based on that calculator which is what the state uses, I owed at most $76 more. That was worst case, based on a difference in numbers.

But she’s asking for $400 minus insurance premium costs. And, again, the amount paid is determined by cost-of-living and income in FL. The calculator can determine you pay $78 a month, but if they determined their cost-of-living while you were married was $500 a month, they take that into account.

Again, you must see that it costs more than $78 to care for two kids each month.

 

[Isilwen]

I was thinking the same thing as you concerning making 10k a year.:
"How can I live off of $10k a year? That doesn't put a roof over my my head, let alone my kid's heads. If it does, then there is food, electric, etc... No one can survive on that much these days.... I'll be living on the streets in a cardboard box"

You see, 10k wouldnt even cover two months bills. So I could make 5 times what you say you make and still feel exactly as you do......If I knew not God, that is.

Yet here you are......showing us that You can be sustained on a salary I thought not possible to sustain oneself. I see your story and know that God is good and he can provide even if I had less income than I believe I need.

If you lose the case, you will be even more of an inspiration when you tell your story of surviving on half what you make now..... So put your worries aside......unless you feel it is needed to win your case.

The Lillies in the field are clothe and fed without worry. You will be too.....for you are greater than the lilly. Thanks for being an inspiration.

You have more hope than I.

No, no one can live off $563 a month and keep a roof over their head. It truly is not possible to do so. I will end up on a street somewhere or dead, because I would rather be dead than living on the streets.

 

[Isilwen]

I think he’d disagree but ok.



Because the about paid is based off of income and cost-of-living for the child. If ones income is below the base of the cost-of-living metric, the amount paid defaults ensure the cost-of-living is prioritized.



But she’s asking for $400 minus insurance premium costs. And, again, the amount paid is determined by cost-of-living and income in FL. The calculator can determine you pay $78 a month, but if they determined their cost-of-living while you were married was $500 a month, they take that into account.

Again, you must see that it costs more than $78 to care for two kids each month.

No, I see what the calculator shows and that is what I should be paying. I also said, $78 more a month. So, that would be $178 a month, not $78 a month, according to the calculator.

I am not trying to shirk what I am already paying. That has never been an option for me, but I cannot allow her to take $400 from me. That means she would get $1700 a month net and me $536 a month net. That's fair? Child support is supposed to make both households equal, not make one destitute which is what would happen to me if I lose.

 

[RaymondG]

You have more hope than I.

No, no one can live off $563 a month and keep a roof over their head. It truly is not possible to do so. I will end up on a street somewhere or dead, because I would rather be dead than living on the streets.

Before reading this, I thought the same concerning 10k a year. Yet you have proven me wrong.....and will continue to do so, whether you lose the case or not. There is only one thing in your path, leading to greatness, that needs to be removed: Your worrying self.......unless, of course, your worrying can provide additional finances.

 

[Isilwen]

Before reading this, I thought the same concerning 10k a year. Yet you have proven me wrong.....and will continue to do so, whether you lose the case or not. There is only one thing in your path, leading to greatness, that needs to be removed: Your worrying self.......unless, of course, your worrying can provide additional finances.

You do realize that $563 a month is only $6756 a year, right? That isn't even 10k a year.

Raymond, use your God given common sense, please.