Seeking God With No Luck

[Elle12]

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

 

[WESTOZZIE]

Hi sister, tell me where it says in the word that you will feel God's presence if you truly believe?

 

[devin553344]

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

You indicated that you have not been baptized. And that is why you have no faith. Faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit of God, when you're baptized and receive a laying on of hands then you can receieve the gift of the Holy Spirit. If you read the bible then you should know that you must be baptized first.

Jesus was baptized and then the Holy Spirit descended on Him Matthew 3:16. And many of the people experienced the Holy Spirit after receiving the laying on of hands after the baptism. Being baptized is doing your part to seek out God.

Read these sections: 1 Corinthians 12:7-11, but you should read all of chapter 12

Also the laying on of hands: Hebrews 6:2, again you should read the surrounding passages

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

Gen atheists acknowledge mystery. But for them it is impersonal. For us it is personal and intimate. Can you believe that much?

 

[jacks]

Welcome to CF!

Relax, you are right were the Lord wants you to be. It may take years to slowly develop more faith. (It took me decades.) Sometimes I feel "faith" is like a personality trait, to some it comes easier than to others. Don't give up, you are precious and special to our Lord. If you keep seeking and knocking the Lord will answer you in His time.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. Romans 14.1-4

 

[devin553344]

Sorry I should have added this passage which explains how to receive the Holy Spirit for faith: Acts 8:14-18

 

[Elle12]

Thank you all for the references to scripture.

Hi sister, tell me where it says in the word that you will feel God's presence if you truly believe?

I'm not paraphrasing the Bible in my statement that I've never felt God's presence, and I don't truly believe. I'm trying to believe, but I can't, and I've heard it said before that believing in God "just feels right" or that they believed after feeling God's presence or intervention. I don't need God to speak to me, but I can't believe in something without reason, if that makes sense.

You indicated that you have not been baptized. And that is why you have no faith. Faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit of God, when you're baptized and receive a laying on of hands then you can receieve the gift of the Holy Spirit. If you read the bible then you should know that you must be baptized first.

Jesus was baptized and then the Holy Spirit descended on Him Matthew 3:16. And many of the people experienced the Holy Spirit after receiving the laying on of hands after the baptism. Being baptized is doing your part to seek out God.

Read these sections: 1 Corinthians 12:7-11, but you should read all of chapter 12

Also the laying on of hands: Hebrews 6:2, again you should read the surrounding passages

I'll clarify regarding baptism. I was baptized as an infant - my mother was raised in the church, but we never attended far into our childhood. In the protestant churches that I have been to more recently, baptism is a choice as an adult, and is always preceded by a statement of faith - that you believe in God and Jesus. I feel dishonest in making this statement, because I don't believe. One church that I attended for a couple of years told me that they required all members to be baptized as an adult, and that I would need to be baptized again to apply for formal membership. Most ministers and pastors that I have spoken to have told me that I should not seek out adult baptism until I can make such a statement of faith.

Gen atheists acknowledge mystery. But for them it is impersonal. For us it is personal and intimate. Can you believe that much?

Not sure what you mean by Gen atheists. Generally? I have heard it said that I should seek a personal relationship with God, but I don't know how to do that.

Welcome to CF!

Relax, you are right were the Lord wants you to be. It may take years to slowly develop more faith. (It took me decades.) Sometimes I feel "faith" is like a personality trait, to some it comes easier than to others. Don't give up, you are precious and special to our Lord. If you keep seeking and knocking the Lord will answer you in His time.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. Romans 14.1-4

Thank you. I guess I've just seen so little return for the amount of my heart I've put in my efforts, and I don't know if I can continue like this without reason. It's exhausting. I feel like I don't belong at church, or in small groups or studies.

 

[devin553344]

I'll clarify regarding baptism. I was baptized as an infant - my mother was raised in the church, but we never attended far into our childhood. In the protestant churches that I have been to more recently, baptism is a choice as an adult, and is always preceded by a statement of faith - that you believe in God and Jesus. I feel dishonest in making this statement, because I don't believe. One church that I attended for a couple of years told me that they required all members to be baptized as an adult, and that I would need to be baptized again to apply for formal membership. Most ministers and pastors that I have spoken to have told me that I should not seek out adult baptism until I can make such a statement of faith.

I can share how it happened for me:

Well I always believed in a Jesus. And somehow knew He was real, deep down. But first I received a testimony of evil and the devil. And then I knew God must exist. Then I started attending church and seeking God to escape the devil. Years later God spoke to me in the Holy Spirit and filled me with unearthly Love and Peace that lasted for hours. Since then He was spoken to me twice, the same way, years apart. Now I cannot deny that God exists. There was one other time that He spoke to me in power and glory.

I think the Holy Spirit must speak to you or an unholy one for you to know there is a God. They must show you and prove to you they exist. That said I would not suggest seeking anything unholy as it can be terrifying really. We get people like that here sometimes.

I don't know about your baptism as an infant. Laying on of hands is where you receive the gift of the Holy Spirit after being baptized.

But good job really, going to church and attempting to believe. Keep up the good work really It should come to you eventually.

 

[God is good]

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

Just remember that God really loves you and the fact that you want a relationship with Jesus shows that you do believe in Him. I struggle with feelings too but we have to trust only what the Bible says. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[John Dominique]

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

I stdrred

 

[JazzHands]

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

Hello all, new to the forum and apologies if this belongs elsewhere - please move or delete it, if so. I've been earnestly seeking God for the last four years, and don't know where to turn at this point. I was not raised in the church, but have attended multiple churches since college and I'm striving to find something that points to God. I know that I'm a skeptical person at heart, and I want to believe, but I don't know how. I can't find anything to believe in the "proof" that people try to show me. Worship is most of the music I listen to, I read and listen to the Bible every day, I have tried to research the scientific evidence for God, the archaeological evidence for Jesus, the theological evidence of the Bible, I have tried weekly Bible studies and other groups, I attend church regularly, but I feel nothing. I have never felt God's presence in my life. I have never found a reason to believe. I have come far from where I started, but it feels like I've been stuck in the same place for the last eighteen months or so. I've met with three ministers and still meet with a minister friend of mine every week, and though I love him, he admits freely that he has no answers for me in my lack of belief. I've been told by some that I need to stop trying so hard, and let it come to me, but I don't fully understand that. Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church? I don't understand how that is supposed to help. I've been told that this is God testing me, or preparing me, or that this will make me value my faith when it does come, but I don't understand that, either, especially when I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day. I'm trying so hard not to give up and to keep striving, keep searching, keep reading, but it's so hard. I've been going to church for five years but I still can't call myself a Christian. I attend church events and outreach, but I'm still "other" because I don't believe. People tell me that I should just call myself Christian and get baptized, but I can't honestly say that I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins. I'm in this limbo that I can't overcome on my own, and I can't see a reason why a God that wants me to believe in Him won't give me the ability to believe. When I talk to non-Christians, they ask why I'm stilll looking. If there was a God, wouldn't He have shown Himself to me? And I can't answer them, I don't know why I'm still looking. Logic dictates I should probably give up. And when I open up to Christians that I know about this, they get afraid because I've done everything right in their eyes, I've taken all the steps, and they've never seen it "take this long". The fact that I still haven't been graced with the gift of faith rocks their own faith, and they're not comfortable talking about it when they hit that point. Even other agnostics/atheists turned Christians can't seem to relate to me. Most of their testimonies are to sudden realizations, or life experiences, or just a gradually sense of it "feeling right," but I haven't met anyone who sought as long as I have been seeking. I want to find God, so badly, but I can't.

I'm sorry for the long post, and I apologize ahead of time. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting - I think I already know that there's nothing anyone can say to give me faith. I suppose I'm looking for hope, or encouragement, or someone to tell me that they've been here.

Hi Elle, I think you're not ready.. enlightenment comes after the fall... You're lost yes but not desperate... The bible, God, belief comes at the lowest eb.. at least for me it did! There is a price to everything and your old life is part of it..

 

[JazzHands]

Everyone in their time will be judged... not like a court case but like an assault course... trials that challenge you.... breaks ups with lovers, self-defeatism and even chronic depression... make it through and you'll see a different reality

 

[joshua 1 9]

Stop reading the Bible? Stop attending church?

We need the Holy Spirit of God to understand what we are reading. For me this was a very simple prayer and then I began to understand what I could never to on my own apart from God.

I feel so close to just throwing the towel in and calling it a day.

Yes exactly, let go and let God do a work in you.
Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

 

[Elle12]

I can share how it happened for me:

Well I always believed in a Jesus. And somehow knew He was real, deep down. But first I received a testimony of evil and the devil. And then I knew God must exist. Then I started attending church and seeking God to escape the devil. Years later God spoke to me in the Holy Spirit and filled me with unearthly Love and Peace that lasted for hours. Since then He was spoken to me twice, the same way, years apart. Now I cannot deny that God exists. There was one other time that He spoke to me in power and glory.

I think the Holy Spirit must speak to you or an unholy one for you to know there is a God. They must show you and prove to you they exist. That said I would not suggest seeking anything unholy as it can be terrifying really. We get people like that here sometimes.

I don't know about your baptism as an infant. Laying on of hands is where you receive the gift of the Holy Spirit after being baptized.

But good job really, going to church and attempting to believe. Keep up the good work really It should come to you eventually.

Thank you for your testimony. I have heard and read about laying on of hands, but I guess it isn't really practiced, or at least emphasized, as a part of baptism at the churches I have seen. Or infant baptism. Unless it's unspoken. I would feel quite awkward walking up to my minister and asking him to lay hands on me?

Just remember that God really loves you and the fact that you want a relationship with Jesus shows that you do believe in Him. I struggle with feelings too but we have to trust only what the Bible says. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

I don't, though. My belief, if you can call it that, is in hypotheticals. I believe that maybe Jesus did exist, and it's possible that he is who the Bible depicts him as, but I don't believe it as a truth. This line of thinking is part of what I struggle with. I read the Bible and I try to understand it, I understand a lot of the philosophical and moral messages of it - mainly because they jive with my existing worldview - but I don't believe all of it, and I don't believe it's the infallible word of God. I don't have reason to believe that. I have difficulty justifying belief in the Bible, finding reasons to do so, especially with the translations of translations and the differences in perspectives related to how we should apply the teachings to our current lives.

Hi Elle, I think you're not ready.. enlightenment comes after the fall... You're lost yes but not desperate... The bible, God, belief comes at the lowest eb.. at least for me it did! There is a price to everything and your old life is part of it..

Everyone in their time will be judged... not like a court case but like an assault course... trials that challenge you.... breaks ups with lovers, self-defeatism and even chronic depression... make it through and you'll see a different reality

Thank you. I don't quite understand how to take a helpful message away from this, unfortunately. Wait to be broken, is what I am reading, and perhaps that is just the discouragement I'm already feeling. Does it really take desperation to believe?

We need the Holy Spirit of God to understand what we are reading. For me this was a very simple prayer and then I began to understand what I could never to on my own apart from God.

Yes exactly, let go and let God do a work in you.
Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

I have been praying for God to open my eyes, my mind, my heart. For over a year it has been a more-than-daily prayer. It's another thing to try, I guess, but I'm afraid that once I stop I'd never be able to subject myself to daily heartache the same way I do in seeking faith.

 

[JazzHands]

Thank you. I don't quite understand how to take a helpful message away from this, unfortunately. Wait to be broken, is what I am reading, and perhaps that is just the discouragement I'm already feeling. Does it really take desperation to believe?

You're welcome lol... no... just know that there is always a safety net for a believer. The bible wasn't my dogma, it was my rope..

No matter how low you get, there's always a safety line, no matter how insecure it may look.

 

[John Dominique]

Hello. I started the same way and experienced many of the same feelings. I was Catholic for 35 years then I had a spiritual awakening. I will say that the path is counter-intuitive and the results were not what I expected. First one has to know the enemy which is the personality and its need for identity. There are huge walls of resistance to allowing oneself to remain vulnerable, powerless, helpless. The personality uses unconscious judgement to avoid such states. There is much psychological and evolutionary conditioning that needs to be exposed. It’s a process of reverse engineering oneself to see the falsehood if this identity we take to be us. Our true identity is infinite and eternal. We need to understand every single reason why we believe otherwise. It’s a lifelong challenge and requires dedication to the truth no matter the consequences. One has to be ready for this. It could take multiple lifetimes and it’s terrorizing. There is very little knowledge and very little support for such a process. For now, please know that there is a God and you are one with him. So a good beginning would be to see how your desire to know God can be a barrier to God.

 

[devin553344]

Thank you for your testimony. I have heard and read about laying on of hands, but I guess it isn't really practiced, or at least emphasized, as a part of baptism at the churches I have seen. Or infant baptism. Unless it's unspoken. I would feel quite awkward walking up to my minister and asking him to lay hands on me?

Well the bible is quite clear about laying on of hands to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

 

[mnorian]

Mod hat on

this thread has been moved from
Introduce Yourself
to
Struggles by Non-Christians
for a better fit and responses.
Carry on. ​

 

[Elle12]

You're welcome lol... no... just know that there is always a safety net for a believer. The bible wasn't my dogma, it was my rope..

No matter how low you get, there's always a safety line, no matter how insecure it may look.

I see - thanks for the response, the message is clearer now.

Hello. I started the same way and experienced many of the same feelings. I was Catholic for 35 years then I had a spiritual awakening. I will say that the path is counter-intuitive and the results were not what I expected. First one has to know the enemy which is the personality and its need for identity. There are huge walls of resistance to allowing oneself to remain vulnerable, powerless, helpless. The personality uses unconscious judgement to avoid such states. There is much psychological and evolutionary conditioning that needs to be exposed. It’s a process of reverse engineering oneself to see the falsehood if this identity we take to be us. Our true identity is infinite and eternal. We need to understand every single reason why we believe otherwise. It’s a lifelong challenge and requires dedication to the truth no matter the consequences. One has to be ready for this. It could take multiple lifetimes and it’s terrorizing. There is very little knowledge and very little support for such a process. For now, please know that there is a God and you are one with him. So a good beginning would be to see how your desire to know God can be a barrier to God.

Thank you! There is a lot in your message, and I'm sure I'll come back to it more than once. I can see how the wanting that I feel might be preventing me from knowing God, but also brought back to the wanting by the not knowing. Thank you.

Well the bible is quite clear about laying on of hands to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

From what I understand, it's usually done (in the context of baptism) after one is baptized? I'm confused, I suppose, with that order. My experiences have discourage baptism until after a believe in God has been stated. It seems odd to me for the Holy Spirit to be unobtainable but for those who have already found God, especially considering testimony I've received from those who claim to have felt the Holy Spirit or found God following a major life event. I've never met someone in person who mentions it as part of their testimony.

 

[devin553344]

From what I understand, it's usually done (in the context of baptism) after one is baptized? I'm confused, I suppose, with that order. My experiences have discourage baptism until after a believe in God has been stated. It seems odd to me for the Holy Spirit to be unobtainable but for those who have already found God, especially considering testimony I've received from those who claim to have felt the Holy Spirit or found God following a major life event. I've never met someone in person who mentions it as part of their testimony.

Yes God can speak to anyone and does clearly from time to time as you pointed out.

Well do you believe in an afterlife? If so what will you be, and where will you be? Do you hope for a resurrection? And an entrance into paradise with a Heavenly Father that loves you?

If so then perhaps going to church and investing time and effort into God is a wise choice. And then perhaps God will speak to you and prove in the Holy Spirit He exists.