There aren't that many fish in the sea...

[blackribbon]

im sure you've heard the saying, "give someone a fish; feed em for a day. teach somebody to fish; feed em for a lifetime. but there's a disparity. WHO OWNS THE WATERS!?!?!

If people don't even have access to the fish, how in the world are they supposed to manage. its a conspiracy.

There is plenty of water that is in the public domain. You only own the water if you own the land all the way around the water....all the land.

 

[Lost4words]

When people see my pic they always say i look like a dog. I take that as a compliment!

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[Royals IS]

Yes, I know how you feel being in my 20’s myself, alot of people our age turnaway from God and are more focused on other things or just discard him all together. Not many good Christian people to meet in our age bracket.

 

[SleepingAtLast]

That's actually a very positive way to think about it!

I used to get cynical over it but not so much anymore. It's more of frustration now. I don't expect perfection but when I meet a "Christian" I expect them to behave like a Christian. That's the source of my displeasure, not so much men in general. Women can be the same! I've had the same struggles with my female friends.

Oh yeah, that frustration is totally valid. There are a lot of guys who use 'Christian' as a label to make themselves more attractive at the outset, but then the way they want to function in the relationship isn't Christian at all.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Well I think its true there are many matches for you out there, and its also important while you pursue someone romantically to approach it with this abundance mindset. If you find yourself dating and you feel like if this person doesnt want to be with me then no one else will, you already have lost.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I'm sure online dating was a feasible option at one time. But now, sites like that are plagued by questionable male and female members which ruin their reputation. There are many who are Christians-in-name-only who join those sites, as well as scammers, "catfish" and other questionable members. I guess many just like having the Christian label, but don't really care about God or living according to His word.

However, God does have someone for us, and will bring that person into our lives at the right time. There are godly, single Christians out there with whom we're compatible with. I actually know of a couple who met here on CF and were just recently married, who I became friends with here in the Singles forum. I remember reading their testimonies of becoming frustrated and basically just waited and fully depended on God for marriage, while focusing on Him completely in the mean time. He brought them together not long after I believe.

I know the feeling though; I've been waiting for years for that right person, and they always seem just out of reach. Every time I think I've found her, something interferes and prevents it from working out; it's beyond frustrating. I don't fully understand why the wait has been so long. But, I do know eventually the wait will end, and that He has a very good reason for it. The only thing we can do in the mean time is to submit that desire to Him and focus / depend on Him completely while we wait.

Agreed, I took a break from online dating for a full year, came back to dip my toes in, and I still see the same faces of the "Christian" women that I had contacted before, and had been ignored. I live in a small town, so these ladies are severely limiting themselves as their expectations are unrealistic and thus makes them lifelong members of the sites.

I'd be like "Wow, she's STILL on here?!"

Thing is, if you're not 6 feet tall or don't look like Channing Tatum, you're out of the running.

Sure, I would see profiles of women that say, "My faith is strong and I seek a partner who can be my friend and Christian lifelong partner" (but if he isn't 6 feet tall, forget it)

Through the years, I see some of these people tend to grow bitter, and they make additions to their profile expressing their frustrations on how they "can't meet a decent guy" when obviously, decent men had been contacting them.

I recall one that was irritated with all the "Hi's" and "Hey" contacts and I figured lead with, "Sorry to hear about the monosyllabic emails you've been getting, but I have more to offer than just a "Hi" or "Hey". But even a carefully crafted email isn't responded to.

Well I think its true there are many matches for you out there, and its also important while you pursue someone romantically to approach it with this abundance mindset.

YEP. there's also a kid in a candy store mentality, these ladies get so many emails that like one seems better than the other. They can't focus on one.

Too many choices.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Not necessarily. There's no one at my church who is single and remotely close to my age (and I'm not going to go to another church for the sole purpose of trying to meet women), and while I've been pretty active in two Christian Meetup groups for a while now, nothing has come of those other than the general socialising with fellow Christians.

There's no guaranteed way of meeting somebody, and online dating is just another potential one which is no better or worse than any other. And like all those other methods, it's going to work for some people and not others.

True, there are no singles over college aged in my local churches. Plus, there's a big issue with churches not really catering singles. Although, I have seen church singles group get started, but after about a year or 2, fizzle out.

We do have a couple of Christian meetup groups in the bigger city near me, but it's mostly retirement aged singles. I've yet to see a 20 or 30-something do anything with that group. The last woman that was an active Organizer of that group dropped off, and she was the only one close to my age.

 

[MehGuy]

Agreed, I took a break from online dating for a full year, came back to dip my toes in, and I still see the same faces of the "Christian" women that I had contacted before, and had been ignored. I live in a small town, so these ladies are severely limiting themselves as their expectations are unrealistic and thus makes them lifelong members of the sites.

I'd be like "Wow, she's STILL on here?!"

Thing is, if you're not 6 feet tall or don't look like Channing Tatum, you're out of the running.

Sure, I would see profiles of women that say, "My faith is strong and I seek a partner who can be my friend and Christian lifelong partner" (but if he isn't 6 feet tall, forget it)

Through the years, I see some of these people tend to grow bitter, and they make additions to their profile expressing their frustrations on how they "can't meet a decent guy" when obviously, decent men had been contacting them.

I recall one that was irritated with all the "Hi's" and "Hey" contacts and I figured lead with, "Sorry to hear about the monosyllabic emails you've been getting, but I have more to offer than just a "Hi" or "Hey". But even a carefully crafted email isn't responded to.



YEP. there's also a kid in a candy store mentality, these ladies get so many emails that like one seems better than the other. They can't focus on one.

Too many choices.

Doesn't help the men have a "under 30" mentality to match the woman's "over 6" mentality.

 

[Citanul]

Thing is, if you're not 6 feet tall or don't look like Channing Tatum, you're out of the running.

I'm 6"2', so it must be the not looking like Channing Tatum that's the reason for my lack of success...

 

[blackribbon]

YEP. there's also a kid in a candy store mentality, these ladies get so many emails that like one seems better than the other. They can't focus on one.

Too many choices.

That is actually the reason a lot of ladies quit online dating very quickly. No kid in a candy shop....it is insulting and frustrating to be contacted only because you are female. For the one day I had my profile online, it was frustrating and insulting that so many would respond who obviously didn't read my profile. It had nothing to do with what they looked like...(some were very nice looking) but I don't want a man who sees this as a numbers game. I want a man who wants to date "ME".

 

[exitstageright]

Agreed, I took a break from online dating for a full year, came back to dip my toes in, and I still see the same faces of the "Christian" women that I had contacted before, and had been ignored. I live in a small town, so these ladies are severely limiting themselves as their expectations are unrealistic and thus makes them lifelong members of the sites.

I'd be like "Wow, she's STILL on here?!"

Thing is, if you're not 6 feet tall or don't look like Channing Tatum, you're out of the running.

Sure, I would see profiles of women that say, "My faith is strong and I seek a partner who can be my friend and Christian lifelong partner" (but if he isn't 6 feet tall, forget it)

Through the years, I see some of these people tend to grow bitter, and they make additions to their profile expressing their frustrations on how they "can't meet a decent guy" when obviously, decent men had been contacting them.

I recall one that was irritated with all the "Hi's" and "Hey" contacts and I figured lead with, "Sorry to hear about the monosyllabic emails you've been getting, but I have more to offer than just a "Hi" or "Hey". But even a carefully crafted email isn't responded to.



YEP. there's also a kid in a candy store mentality, these ladies get so many emails that like one seems better than the other. They can't focus on one.

Too many choices.

There are many decent men in America. But,the average height of the American male is 5 feet,10 inches.Therefore,the six footers are in the minority.Would not life be fair if there were a growth hormone on the Y chromosome? Then,every man,would be at least six feet tall. And,less men would get rejected. Because,at least height would not be an issue.

 

[exitstageright]

That is actually the reason a lot of ladies quit online dating very quickly. No kid in a candy shop....it is insulting and frustrating to be contacted only because you are female. For the one day I had my profile online, it was frustrating and insulting that so many would respond who obviously didn't read my profile. It had nothing to do with what they looked like...(some were very nice looking) but I don't want a man who sees this as a numbers game. I want a man who wants to date "ME".

Well...…… at least you are being noticed and pursued .I have heard so many women complain about getting attention from men. Sure, these men may not be these women's type. But,if I were to get noticed and/or get just half of the attention that these women complain about,I would be a happy camper,when it comes to getting attention.
The only times,when women notice me,and tell me that I am handsome,is during Formal Night on a cruise,while I am wearing my tuxedo. And,some people wonder why I love to go on cruises.

 

[Citanul]

There are many decent men in America. But,the average height of the American male is 5 feet,10 inches.Therefore,the six footers are in the minority.Would not life be fair if there were a growth hormone on the Y chromosome? Then,every man,would be at least six feet tall. And,less men would get rejected. Because,at least height would not be an issue.

But if every man was at least six feet tall then the height bar of those women would be set even higher...

 

[Citanul]

Well...…… at least you are being noticed and pursued .I have heard so many women complain about getting attention from men. Sure, these men may not be these women's type. But,if I were to get noticed and/or get just half of the attention that these women complain about,I would be a happy camper,when it comes to getting attention.

If you were getting as much attention as those women were then you also might be unhappy, especially if the bulk of that attention was coming from women who hadn't made an effort to read your profile to see what you were looking for. And women might be OK with getting half as much an attention, but they find the amount that they're getting too overwhelming.

 

[exitstageright]

But if every man was at least six feet tall then the height bar of those women would be set even higher...

Yeah ,knowing women, I afraid that you might be right.

 

[MehGuy]

At least men have standards too. Its not all unfair.

 

[blackribbon]

Well...…… at least you are being noticed and pursued .I have heard so many women complain about getting attention from men. Sure, these men may not be these women's type. But,if I were to get noticed and/or get just half of the attention that these women complain about,I would be a happy camper,when it comes to getting attention.
The only times,when women notice me,and tell me that I am handsome,is during Formal Night on a cruise,while I am wearing my tuxedo. And,some people wonder why I love to go on cruises.

If getting noticed and complemented is all you want, go to a place where the women are all in their upper 70s and 80s and you will get all the attention you want. Matter of fact, checking out some of the local senior centers activities might just be the ticket to increase your dating life.

 

[blackribbon]

If you were getting as much attention as those women were then you also might be unhappy, especially if the bulk of that attention was coming from women who hadn't made an effort to read your profile to see what you were looking for. And women might be OK with getting half as much an attention, but they find the amount that they're getting too overwhelming.

When most haven't read your profile, you don't trust the couple that maybe did and are genuinely interested. As Exit says, numbers don't lie.

 

[exitstageright]

If getting noticed and complemented is all you want, go to a place where the women are all in their upper 70s and 80s and you will get all the attention you want. Matter of fact, checking out some of the local senior centers activities might just be the ticket to increase your dating life.

Well,since March of 2017,I have been going to the Senior Centers for Ballroom Dancing.On Wednesday afternoons,I go to the Senior Center in San Leandro,California.On Thursday mornings,I go to the Senior Center in Hayward,California,where I live. On Friday afternoons,I go to the Senior Center in Union City,California,which is next to Hayward.I have lost 40 pounds since I retired in March of 2017.People that know me tell me have good I now look,after losing so much weight.

Most of these women are in their sixties.They do give me lots of attention. They even ask me do dance before I ask them to dance.

But,many of them,after they have gotten to know me,during about the first four months,have told me,without me asking them out,or bringing up dating,that they have been divorced or widowed.They tell me that they have spent so many years without a man,that they no longer need or want a man.
A few of the women are in their 50's. And,no,I am not interested in 20,30,and 40 year olds.
But,I thank you for your advice, anyway.
By the way,one day,I asked a lady to dance. She told me,"You're not Chinese!" I told her,"I know. But, does not mean that I cannot enjoy dancing to the music." About 90% of these women,at these three Senior Centers,are Asian. That have a dance called the Chinese Jitterbug. They also have dances called the Argentine Tango,and the Chinese Tango. I only know the American Tango.