- Jun 24, 2018
- 2
- 1
- 31
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
I've been having a really hard time as of the past two-ish months. My OCD has resurfaced but I'm scared that it's not OCD but the panic is so strong that I have no other option other than to listen to it. Recently it's been telling me to get rid of my friends..I'll out of the blue start to get anxious around one for no reason and then I'll have the overwhelming need to cut them out of my life and it doesn't go away until I do. It's the worst thing I've experienced yet because other people's feelings are on the line. What scares me is that it's not OCD. I believe in God and I believe the first person I had to do it to was God telling me something due to a lot of unresolved attachment issues and needing to lean on him more than humans..but now it's happening with other people. Today it latched onto a friend I haven't seen in years that I contacted about the rough time I'm going through and I started crying in the car and told her I was so anxious over the need to do it to her that my chest hurt and my fingers were going numb. A part of me thinks this is God trying to get me to be able to stand on my own without people or that he's telling me certain people are a bad influence because they swear, etc but when I first got the feeling it felt like OCD but now I'm not sure and I'm very worried that whatever this is wants me alone and powerless. It feels so real and it's so scary because nobody can tell me what's going on. It's literally like I am forced to get rid of these people or else I get so panicky in their presence that I cannot enjoy a moment with them and start to disociate from reality and stop responding or hearing what they say. Please help, I can't find anything about this specific urge on the internet anywhere and it's starting to freak me out.