These panic attacks are becoming more common.
As a person who is very interested in physics, I'm reading quite often about complex and very deep scientific theories. Somehow that leads to me thinking about nothingness, or what if there was nothing instead of a God and an Universe.
Then I start to panic as I realize no one, and most importantly me, wouldn't exist. I couldn't think, feel, affect my environment or anything. There wouldn't be anything to experience, EVER! (((((Normally reading the previous sentences doesn't make me anxious but when you think about them really hard, it does!))))))) At this point I am sweating, my heart rate and anxiety levels are very high. I get a fight-or-flight reaction and want to run outside, quickly.
The climax of my attack occurs when I realize that yes, I am really going to die! Forget about Heaven, it's just a lie made to comfort people!! The thought of nothingness is scary enough even if it doesn't happen to me. At this point the anxiety and horror is so great that I distract myself and relax.
I am very unsure of God's existence although when I believe in Him, I believe that Jesus died for my sins etc. and therefore consider myself a Christian.
So these are the scary things that scare me:
What should I do?
As a person who is very interested in physics, I'm reading quite often about complex and very deep scientific theories. Somehow that leads to me thinking about nothingness, or what if there was nothing instead of a God and an Universe.
Then I start to panic as I realize no one, and most importantly me, wouldn't exist. I couldn't think, feel, affect my environment or anything. There wouldn't be anything to experience, EVER! (((((Normally reading the previous sentences doesn't make me anxious but when you think about them really hard, it does!))))))) At this point I am sweating, my heart rate and anxiety levels are very high. I get a fight-or-flight reaction and want to run outside, quickly.
The climax of my attack occurs when I realize that yes, I am really going to die! Forget about Heaven, it's just a lie made to comfort people!! The thought of nothingness is scary enough even if it doesn't happen to me. At this point the anxiety and horror is so great that I distract myself and relax.
I am very unsure of God's existence although when I believe in Him, I believe that Jesus died for my sins etc. and therefore consider myself a Christian.
So these are the scary things that scare me:
- the complexity and weirdness of everything (pick any object and just think about it)
- WHY does the world exist??? If God created it, who is He to be SELF-EXISTENT!!! This is scary! This leads to:
- what if the world didn't exist at all?
- what if God doesn't exist and I will be non-existent in the future
What should I do?