if you ask God for this gift He will give it to you.
St. Paul says that not all gifts are given to everyone, but all have gifts as given by the same Holy Spirit. Not all will speak in tongues, not all will prophesy, etc. The entire point of 1 Corinthians 12-14 is about the unity of the Body of Christ in the Spirit even with its diversity of gifts and callings; and that ultimately nothing is more important than
love.
A chief problem of the Corinthian church was how factional it was, some saying "I'm of Paul" others "I'm of Cephas (Peter)" and others saying "I'm of Christ", and then they were so disorganized and so divided that some were getting drunk at Communion before everyone had even arrived, and still there were issues with some seemingly thinking that certain gifts were more special than others and that gave them a spiritual leg up on everyone else. Which is why St. Paul spends considerable time emphasizing the unity of the Body, the central importance of charity (love, agape), and the necessity of order in worship.
There are many, many different gifts all from the same Holy Spirit. The Apostle writes, "Do all speak in tongues? Do all prophesy?" and, of course, the answer is
no. Glossolalia, or tongues, was not a very special gift, it was just one gift among many, no better than any other, Romans 12:3-8,
"
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness."
Generosity, leadership, teaching, and compassion are all likewise spiritual gifts (
charismata) and are from the same Spirit and are for the good and unity of the Body.
There tends to be an obsession with "showy" gifts like glossolalia, but the Spirit may have other gifts, gifts better suited for us. The patience by which to endure trouble and trials, the humility to avoid arrogance and pride. Generosity so that those who are lacking may have what they need. Encouragement to build up those who are down or are struggling.
The little old lady who always seems to manage a smile when she greets people at the church door? Her cheerfulness is no less a gift from the Holy Spirit which builds up the Body of Christ and serves the Lord.
-CryptoLutheran