If the singles forum was...

[Gnarwhal]

If I'm a chef one more time I'm going to hang myself.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

 

[SeekerOfChrist94]

I can haz a title?

 

[Somber]

 

[mojoboy31]

This thread is hilarious.

 

[graciesings]

This thread is hilarious.

No. The really hilarious ones didn't get posted....

 

[MehGuy]

Yeah, some of them were too raunchy for CF. Lol.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Yeah, some of them were too raunchy for CF. Lol.

Damn the rules lol

 

[Miss Spaulding]

BUMP*

If Singles was the Golden Age of Hollywood...

(Disclaimer - Please do not take anything written about you personally. It is not meant to be. This is simply a game...of sorts.)



MrMoe - Moe is that well known, well loved comedic character actor of the 1930s who secretly aspires to be more. He knows nobody would give him a chance, so he sticks to what he does best...or what everyone else thinks he does best. Comedy. He delights audiences around the globe with his lovable and hilarious antics on screen...forever busting the Leading Man or Lady out of a jam in the funniest of ways. Always smiling and making his audience smile back. ...But behind the scenes he quietly buries his dreams with the bottle.

KitKatMatt - KitKat is sweet but feisty. She's breaking into her own and fast, and everyone director wants her. They just need to pack their kid gloves in order handle her. Each of her films is sweeping the box office...every woman wants to be her...every man wants his girl to be her...and every actor wants to be her Leading Man. Realistically, she's a kind soul, she's just ahead of the times and isn't ashamed to let her opinions be known. ...Sadly, she's dies by the age of 27.

Saucy - Saucy is that charming Leading Man that can't seem to get away from the ever unsuccessful RKO Pictures Studio. Always the nice guy all-around good guy, on screen and off. He keeps to a small, close-knit group of friends and fellow actors and actresses. Reasonable and never rocks the boat, he's every director's pet actor... just not quite up to material for a better studio. He's your best choice for the year's ever-so cute but forgettable romantic comedy. ...Need a cute guy with a great smile to play that taxi cab driver who sweeps the equally cute girl off her feet? Saucy is your man.

scraparcs - Scraps doesn't need a Leading Man. She's just that cool. Cool, smokey voice (actually, that's probably from the cigarettes), and she knows how to play the Hollywood game. Sarcastic but friendly; she has everyone's number. She has a matured grit that only a veteran actress would have and knows how to fling it about at the right place and the right time. She has every director's respect. And everyone secretly wants to be her friend because they want to be invited to her illegal gambling parties up in her bohemian penthouse.

TX_Matt - Matt is the well established but ever in demand dramatic actor of the 1940s. Versatile, but often gravitating towards the intelligent and brooding character roles. No doubt it's what he knows best, he's already been awarded one Academy Award and received two other nominations. Humble, friendly, but ever so slightly mysterious. He's often spotted with the more elite class of actors and actresses at the best nightclubs in New York City, and always accompanied by his equally famous actress girlfriend. You'll have to get in line if you want Matt for your next big box office hit, because Paramount Pictures isn't lending him out any time soon, folks.

More to come...

 

[Hawthorne]

I have a partial written, and it will remain in that estate.

 

[Saucy]

I'm not sure how to take mine. I'm a hack. A cute hack though.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I have a partial written, and it will remain in that estate.

No, you should definitely post it.

 

[High Fidelity]

Revive a thread, hey?

 

[scraparcs]

Must...quit...smoking.

IRL, I joke that smoking is about the only vice I never took up.

 

[MrMoe]

IF CF WAS THE US PRESIDENTIAL RACE

​

Democrat ................................................................. Republican
Hawthorne.................................................................Blue Wren
Graciesings................................................................MehGuy
ks777....................................................................... .scrapcraps
Darth Bagel................................................................TX_Matt
Miss Spaulding......................................................... KitKatMatt


Independent
chuck77 (sammiches party)


Security
Saucy, SarahsKnight (Bodyguards)
HotRhymez (Sniper)
zxcv (Intel)
Chris Bot (Spy drone)

Protesting hippies
Owlette
Quieted
Kittiesbecute

The One Percent
MarkSB

Reporters
Messy
KandiJo

Wants to assassinate the president
Toro

Crazy conspiracy theorist that turns out to be right all along
MrMoe


It is early in the morning and MrMoe calls in to Messy's radio talk show 'Messy In The Morning'. He says that the election is rigged, that the government is planning on wiping out half of America and that republican candidate scraparcs is actually a robot. Messy laughs and hangs up.

Miss Spaulding is a former actress who wants to be the first female president. She is very accident prone and people are afraid to be near her in case they get injured.

Darth Bagel is a former chef who wants to make it in politics. He resigns in disgrace after he is secretly recorded calling American voters "filthy peasants".

Mehguy's policies are the greatest the world has ever heard. They will bring in a new era of peace and prosperity. He loses the nomination when he mentions he's an atheist on Larry King.

TX_Matt's policies are the worst the world has ever heard. They discriminate against the poor, sick and elderly. He wins the nomination when he mentions he's a Christian on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

HotRhymez is a veteran sniper. He is the only sniper that can do a 360 no scope kill.

Saucy is a bodyguard of 15 years. He is haunted by the day he was unable to save president Patrick Bateman from chocking on a peanut.

SarahsKnight is a young rookie bodyguard being mentored by Saucy. He is a ladies man and a chick magnet.

Ks777, TX_Matt and chuck77 have a live debate. Ks777 is given subtitles because people have trouble understanding his thick Australian accent. chuck77 talks about lowering prices on sandwiches and how to bring world peace with food. Everyone agrees TX_Matt was the clear winner.

America votes.
Results: Democrats 51% Sammiches Party 49% Republicans 0.01%

Ks777 becomes the new president of the USA. He is arrested on his way to his inauguration and deported to Monster Island along with Barack Obama after Donald Trump discovers his U.S. birth certificate is a fake.

Miss Spaulding is made the new president. She celebrates by smashing the glass ceiling above her into a thousand pieces, unfortunately she forgets there are hundreds of protesting hippies and reports standing under it. President Spaulding dedicates her presidency to the victims.

Toro wants to assassinate president Spaulding for wanting to raise the price of tacos and anything else with meat in it. Unfortunately he keeps failing because people keep mobbing him asking for his signature because they think he's John Malkovich.

On the way to the white house vice president graciesings chloroforms President Spaulding and kidnaps her in a limo driven by scraparcs...

TO BE CONTINUED...​

 

[High Fidelity]

IF CF WAS THE US PRESIDENTIAL RACE

​

Democrat ................................................................. Republican
Hawthorne.................................................................Blue Wren
Graciesings................................................................MehGuy
ks777....................................................................... .scrapcraps
Darth Bagel................................................................TX_Matt
Miss Spaulding......................................................... KitKatMatt


Independent
chuck77 (sammiches party)


Security
Saucy, SarahsKnight (Bodyguards)
HotRhymez (Sniper)
zxcv (Intel)
Chris Bot (Spy drone)

Protesting hippies
Owlette
Quieted
Kittiesbecute

The One Percent
MarkSB

Reporters
Messy
KandiJo

Wants to assassinate the president
Toro

Crazy conspiracy theorist that turns out to be right all along
MrMoe


It is early in the morning and MrMoe calls in to Messy's radio talk show 'Messy In The Morning'. He says that the election is rigged, that the government is planning on wiping out half of America and that republican candidate scraparcs is actually a robot. Messy laughs and hangs up.

Miss Spaulding is a former actress who wants to be the first female president. She is very accident prone and people are afraid to be near her in case they get injured.

Darth Bagel is a former chef who wants to make it in politics. He resigns in disgrace after he is secretly recorded calling American voters "filthy peasants".

Mehguy's policies are the greatest the world has ever heard. They will bring in a new era of peace and prosperity. He loses the nomination when he mentions he's an atheist on Larry King.

TX_Matt's policies are the worst the world has ever heard. They discriminate against the poor, sick and elderly. He wins the nomination when he mentions he's a Christian on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

HotRhymez is a veteran sniper. He is the only sniper that can do a 360 no scope kill.

Saucy is a bodyguard of 15 years. He is haunted by the day he was unable to save president Patrick Bateman from chocking on a peanut.

SarahsKnight is a young rookie bodyguard being mentored by Saucy. He is a ladies man and a chick magnet.

Ks777, TX_Matt and chuck77 have a live debate. Ks777 is given subtitles because people have trouble understanding his thick Australian accent. chuck77 talks about lowering prices on sandwiches and how to bring world peace with food. Everyone agrees TX_Matt was the clear winner.

America votes.
Results: Democrats 51% Sammiches Party 49% Republicans 0.01%

Ks777 becomes the new president of the USA. He is arrested on his way to his inauguration and deported to Monster Island along with Barack Obama after Donald Trump discovers his U.S. birth certificate is a fake.

Miss Spaulding is made the new president. She celebrates by smashing the glass ceiling above her into a thousand pieces, unfortunately she forgets there are hundreds of protesting hippies and reports standing under it. President Spaulding dedicates her presidency to the victims.

Toro wants to assassinate president Spaulding for wanting to raise the price of tacos and anything else with meat in it. Unfortunately he keeps failing because people keep mobbing him asking for his signature because they think he's John Malkovich.

On the way to the white house vice president graciesings chloroforms President Spaulding and kidnaps her in a limo driven by scraparcs...

TO BE CONTINUED...​

What just happened LOL

 

[SarahsKnight]

SarahsKnight is a young rookie bodyguard being mentored by Saucy. He is a ladies man and a chick magnet.

Really? Cool.

But who am I trying to guard at this election? Surely the three protesting hippies Owlette, Kitty, and Quieted and the two beautiful female reporters Messy and Kandi?

 

[Miss Spaulding]

No. Words.

Oh my gosh, what the heck...

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Seriously, this needs to be continued for real. I need to know what happens. Rotfl

 

[SarahsKnight]

Miss Spaulding as president of the United States. .... I would vote for her.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Well, hey now...