Should the mentally Ill get married?

[blackribbon]

Thanks Michelle. Now that I work (without pay since I am still a student) in the healthcare profession, I can say that I get very frustrated with trying to help people get the help they need...especially when the problem is a mental health issue. Anxiety is a very real issue...and just telling someone who is suffering from it to just "suck it up" is as crazy as telling someone who is physically paralyzed to just stand up and walk. Not only is it usually impossible, but it also make make their condition worse...and when treated properly, the client might actually be able to improve or at least not get to the point where suicide seems like a preferable option.

People also don't realize that these low paying jobs often can cause a person to be "too rich" to qualify for the help they really need. Heck, I have a friend whose only income is her husband's death benefits (died in his mid 30's of stomach cancer)....and they make $4 too much for any of the four kids to qualify for state supported health insurance on any level. They are not bringing in half of what they received when her husband was working...and she can't earn enough to pay for a babysitter for the youngest if she did worked...heck with earning enough to pay for insurance for the 5 of them. (For those wondering, she decided to go to school at nights (older kids can watch the younger one) so that she eventually can make enough...and pray that nobody has a serious medical issue in the meantime.)

...and although the money she gets from the government is money her husband PAID into the system, somebody somewhere probably thinks she is lazy and just "milking" the system....

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, our system on about every level isn't just. I think every system on earth isn't just.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

It's usually people who have not had to use the system that frown on it. Are there abuses? YES! But alot of the abuse is in women making babies to live continually off welfare. In that respect we need to change the system. I am all for helping people, giving them a hand up. There are also abuses in disability. Some that get it, probably don't need it as much as others, but if they got approved, who am I to judge?
I personally think the government AND charities should help these people, not just one or the other.
Sadly I do not think churches do enough. Sure alot of them go out, as does mine to help the community here and there, but it's on their timetable when they feel like doing it, not necessarily when there is a need, which there is ALWAYS a need. I think churches could and should do alot more, but they seem to be more about "programs" and have convinced themselves that this is the way to help people.

But if a guy with no arms or legs can get married, why can't someone with Apsireman's condition get married? I'm not sure exactly what his condition is, because he hasn't totally shared it, but that doesn't make a difference to me. I think it would be harder to find someone, but nothing is impossible with God, if that is God's plan for his life, it will happen.

 

[dayhiker]

The welfare is a big topic. I did just read an article last week that was saying the welfare system of the 90's is almost totally gone and has a very different look now.

Capitalism isn't about helping those who can't live at the work, intellectual, time level that is needed for them to produce a profit. That give quite a bit of money to help but its for tax purposes and to look good to the community.

We have welfare because in the depression and before people weren't giving enough to help the poor and their suffering were quite sever. So the state took over and in general I feel they do a better job that if it was left to the ad hawk motivation of people to do on their own.

The churches have major strikes against them for doing this. There is the upkeep of the building and paying the pastor's salary. The people have already been taxed to take the money they could give away from them. So the churches aren't going to be left with enough money to do a major push to meet the needs of those in need.

Few of my thoughts on this topic.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

yep I agree!

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

We seem to have the worst of everything. On the one hand, there are generations of people who only know welfare. On the other hand, the system is not intelligent about helping people in real need so someone might be refused help over a minor technicality.

 

[blackribbon]

or they try to make it on their own so long and don't go seeking help until they are desperate...but the government doesn't help desperate or reward those that tried to do without...everything takes time...often a lot of time...

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

or they try to make it on their own so long and don't go seeking help until they are desperate...but the government doesn't help desperate or reward those that tried to do without...everything takes time...often a lot of time...

People are punished for trying to be responsible. I think the system goes out of its way to crush people like that, and I think it is deliberate.

 

[polarized]

TheycallmeDavid, I wonder. Are you married? Or have you followed your own advice and used your life to serve others only?

 

[Mariposa36]

I'm not against helping people. I think we need to reach out and help the less fortunate and needy, but the money and resources for this help need to come through charity rather than taxation.

There's so many people that use food cards to buy unhealthy foods that later go on to contribute to poor health. It's a continuous circle. charities would ensure this food is healthy and correct portion size for each recipient.

There's also questionable ways tax dollars go to "help" people like by providing free phones, abortions, research dollars for pointless studies, etc.

A lot of people dislike when people want to hand things over to charity, but the private sector is much more efficient (charity uses less money to help more people) and even medical research (to find new treatments and cures for people with things like mental illness or paralysis) produces better products and useful results when they are privately funded. Some of the best medical innovations have been or are currently funded through private donations. See Best Hope Lies in Privately Funded Stem Cell Research | Cato Institute

Once again, to reiterate no one (including myself) said they were against people with debilitating illnesses, marrying. In fact, I wish them the best and continue to donate money to improving research and pumping out more curative treatments.

 

[Aspireman]

My parents and I are in that same situation. don't make enough to get by, but make too much to get any real help. Sorry to say the church doesn't help either. They want you healthy. Anxiety and depression can be a life long illness, it just doesn't always go away. They just want you to keep working no matter what the cost. Is my life not important? Suicide was on my mind. I forgive these people, but it still hurts. I got my Medicad too late, and now owe quite a bit in hospital bills. Just can't win.

Thanks Michelle. Now that I work (without pay since I am still a student) in the healthcare profession, I can say that I get very frustrated with trying to help people get the help they need...especially when the problem is a mental health issue. Anxiety is a very real issue...and just telling someone who is suffering from it to just "suck it up" is as crazy as telling someone who is physically paralyzed to just stand up and walk. Not only is it usually impossible, but it also make make their condition worse...and when treated properly, the client might actually be able to improve or at least not get to the point where suicide seems like a preferable option.

People also don't realize that these low paying jobs often can cause a person to be "too rich" to qualify for the help they really need. Heck, I have a friend whose only income is her husband's death benefits (died in his mid 30's of stomach cancer)....and they make $4 too much for any of the four kids to qualify for state supported health insurance on any level. They are not bringing in half of what they received when her husband was working...and she can't earn enough to pay for a babysitter for the youngest if she did worked...heck with earning enough to pay for insurance for the 5 of them. (For those wondering, she decided to go to school at nights (older kids can watch the younger one) so that she eventually can make enough...and pray that nobody has a serious medical issue in the meantime.)

...and although the money she gets from the government is money her husband PAID into the system, somebody somewhere probably thinks she is lazy and just "milking" the system....

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I feel for you Aspireman and I truly WISH churches and charities WOULD do more, but they don't because they can't. They can only do from the generosity of the people that support them!

The whole REASON there is a government welfare system at all is because the churches and charities were NOT doing an adequate job.
Do some people abuse the system? YES! Is that a reason to police all people that get benefits or force them to still TRY to work when they cannot get better?

IMO, GOD is the judge of what the needy do with the offerings they receive and how WE help the needy.

 

[nick garai]

I struggle with this question, because I am. And I want so bad to be in a relationship someday. Would a women want someone that can't hold a full time job, and can't take care of themselves someday? Your thoughts?

There are lots of women out there who have successful careers and would rather be the bread winners in a family. Don't give up hope. Try looking on Craigslist for a woman that might be compatible for you. It is free.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

One of my friend's wife just left him recently to be with a man that is almost blind and can't walk very well and has other health issues. My friend doesn't have any of these and he loved his wife, has a full time job and is a good person. He just wasn't giving her what she needed as in listening and fulfilling her needs. He couldn't understand it at the time.

They are getting divorced and he has now moved on and they are both Christians too.

So yes there are women that might be willing to be with someone like yourself, but I would not advise looking for them on craigslist.

 

[Dan the Man]

I struggle with this question, because I am. And I want so bad to be in a relationship someday. Would a women want someone that can't hold a full time job, and can't take care of themselves someday? Your thoughts?

i guess it depends on the level of mental illness but for me personally i don't feel like it would be right to drag someone into this life i live. hard to make someone else happy when you are sick and miserable yourself. i think the closest i might ever get is a good friend.
i dont know you though so i cant speak for you. you may find a nice woman who is able to deal with stuff like that. i hope you do.

 

[Dark Winter]

my favorite is when someone says there is no such thing as mental illness.

 

[blackribbon]

Or that it is only the "devil" or "sin" .... like it is reasonable for every other organ of you body to have a malfunction ... but for some reason, the brain should be exempt.

 

[Dark Winter]

yes. or that the mentally ill are all lying, lazy, stupid, or need a bible verse.

and there are lots of christians who are against govt aid to the mentally ill.

 

[OGM]

Or that it is only the "devil" or "sin" .... like it is reasonable for every other organ of you body to have a malfunction ... but for some reason, the brain should be exempt.

A few hundred years ago the Devil was what made you sick or perhaps an evil Spirit or two.

 

[blackribbon]

A few hundred years ago the Devil was what made you sick or perhaps an evil Spirit or two.

depended on the community/culture because medicine has been around for a very long time