Why do atheists get married?

[AV1611VET]

Of my personal knowledge, I officiated at the wedding of two friends of mine (though it was not in a church).

None of my business, but are you a Justice of the Peace?

 

[essentialsaltes]

None of my business, but are you a Justice of the Peace?

No. I exercised my First Amendment right to practice religion freely and got ordained from a mail order diploma mill.

 

[AV1611VET]

No. I exercised my First Amendment right to practice religion freely and got ordained from a mail order diploma mill.

I see.

 

[Esdra]

38½ years here, chief.

Which is more than I can say for a lot of Godless marriages.

My wife and I are both atheists. We got married for the same reasons any couple does--we loved each other and wanted make a formal committment before our friends and family. We had a home ceremony performed by one of my neighbors, who happened to be a federal judge. And even though we have a godless marriage, we've been together and faithful to each other for 26 years. And still going strong. Which is more than I can say for a lot of religious marriages.

Great that your marriage works for both of you.

Sadly enough that's not always true for both religions, the Atheists and the Christians.
Especially when there are children, I find a divorce something so horrible...

 

[AV1611VET]

Especially when there are children, I find a divorce something so horrible...

Indeed!

And it's the children who suffer the most!

 

[SithDoughnut]

I was thinking more along the lines of a church wedding, vows before God and all.

So that type of wedding specifically? I don't know the numbers, but I doubt they're a majority. That said, it could happen for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps the atheist is marrying a Christian, or they come from a Christian family. Religion bleeds into culture and identity, and I know several non-religious people who still associate with the religion they grew up with, especially in the case of Catholicism. Or perhaps they just want the traditional church wedding; those usually comes with vows before God as a requirement.

 

[Ken-1122]

Why do atheists get married?

I have wondered this for some time now; and I'm just asking out of curiosity.

If an atheist is having a religious wedding, it is proabably to appease someone else; such as the spouce, family, or friends etc.

Ken

 

[jayem]

Yes, there are exceptions -- like a common-law marriage or marriage by a justice of the peace.

Obviously, a civil marriage and a religious marriage are legally equivalent (and to be specific, I mean 1 man + 1 woman.) Do you think Christians would accept that a couple married solely in the eyes of the state, would also be considered as married in the eyes of God? To answer my own question, I'd guess some would and some would not. And that's OK. My intention is not to be argumentative. I'm just curious about different opinions.

 

[bhsmte]

Indeed!

And it's the children who suffer the most!

Not always.

There are marriages where the environment is so toxic, it is actually better for the kids for the parents to divorce.

 

[Cocoafrost]

Well, as I said, when I made this thread, I was thinking only of the traditional say-your-vows-to-God marriage.

There is traditional Christian marriage. However, that's not the only people that enter into the traditional institution of marriage. Pagans, Buddhists, agnostics, atheists, deists, humanists, satanists, etc... fall in love and choose to get married.

Atheists may not believe in God but that doesn't mean they don't believe in marriage. Marriage isn't an exclusive religious institution.

 

[AV1611VET]

Not always.

There are marriages where the environment is so toxic, it is actually better for the kids for the parents to divorce.

If it's that toxic, the kids still suffer the most, eh?

 

[quatona]

I was thinking more along the lines of a church wedding, vows before God and all.

I don´t know. I don´t know any atheist who had a church wedding and did "vows before God" and all.
Tell you what: You better find yourself an atheist who did that, and ask him for his reasons. Doesn´t mean, though, that his reasons are representative for all atheists who do it.

One potential reason that comes to mind: His/her partner is a Christian and insists on a church wedding with all bells and whistles. The atheist partner considers it some form of "respect" to do him/her the favour.

 

[Freodin]

If it's that toxic, the kids still suffer the most, eh?

From the divorce or from the marriage?

 

[Skaloop]

I attended a wedding for a couple of friends over ten years ago. They were and are not religious. But, she's of Italian descent, and her extended family is made up primarily of Catholics. This includes her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. They had a large wedding in a Catholic church partly out of tradition and partly out of pressure from her family. Not that they were forced to do it in a church, exactly, but rather out of respect for their family who encouraged them to have a proper church ceremony.

I expect that something similar happens when atheist couples have a church wedding. If their parents are paying for it, and their parents want it in a church, and the couple has no real objections to it other than their lack of belief, I don't see a problem. Also, it can make for a large spectacle, which many people want out of a wedding.

 

[Esdra]

From the divorce or from the marriage?

From both.

But maybe I'm too idealistic about marriage anyway...

 

[quatona]

I suspect that quite a few atheists value religious rituals for their folkloristic, traditional colouring. I mean, many of them even celebrate Christmas (even though they can relate neither to the Christian nor the pagan meaning of it). Like, the ceremony in church is so much more solemn than merely going to the registry office.
I guess it´s the feeling that the church ceremony culturally and traditionally is part of the thing.
Probably a bit like dressing up for the Rocky Horror Picture Show and throwing rice and stuff. Not taking it overly seriously.

 

[Esdra]

I attended a wedding for a couple of friends over ten years ago. They were and are not religious. But, she's of Italian descent, and her extended family is made up primarily of Catholics. This includes her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. They had a large wedding in a Catholic church partly out of tradition and partly out of pressure from her family. Not that they were forced to do it in a church, exactly, but rather out of respect for their family who encouraged them to have a proper church ceremony.

I expect that something similar happens when atheist couples have a church wedding. If their parents are paying for it, and their parents want it in a church, and the couple has no real objections to it other than their lack of belief, I don't see a problem. Also, it can make for a large spectacle, which many people want out of a wedding.

Good point.
Tradition and respect of the (religious) family, certainly also plays a role.

 

[quatona]

Good point.
Tradition and respect of the (religious) family, certainly also plays a role.

I don´t question that Skaloop´s explanation applies to some atheists who participate in the religious ceremony. I do, however, have a different concept of "respect". Just saying.

 

[Skaloop]

Good point.
Tradition and respect of the (religious) family, certainly also plays a role.

Something else: What does interest me, are there "2nd Generation" Atheists?
Or are Atheists "converts" from any religion?

My dad's an atheist, and I'm an atheist, so yeah, there are second generation atheists.

It's actually something I used to think about a fair bit. I mean, I was born and raised without any religion, and stayed an atheist by default. It wasn't a struggle, I didn't have to explore my faith or turn away from it. And when I hear stories about some of the things some Christian people went through when they made the transition to atheism, it makes me feel like I had the easy way. On the other hand, I was never not an atheist. And would that make either them or me "more" or "less" of an atheist?

Like in some vampire movies, the ones that are born vampires often hold themselves in higher esteem than the ones who were turned later in life.

Or, to paraphrase Bane in The Dark Knight Rises:

"Ahh, you think atheism is your ally? You merely adopted non-belief. I was born in it. Molded by it."

But that was in my younger days. Since then, I have realized that the only factor defining an atheist is a lack of belief in any god. That's it. How long you've been one or how you came to be one doesn't matter one bit. There's nothing else to follow or do or believe that would have any bearing on how well one is being an atheist.

 

[Esdra]

My dad's an atheist, and I'm an atheist, so yeah, there are second generation atheists.

It's actually something I used to think about a fair bit. I mean, I was born and raised without any religion, and stayed an atheist by default. It wasn't a struggle, I didn't have to explore my faith or turn away from it. And when I hear stories about some of the things some Christian people went through when they made the transition to atheism, it makes me feel like I had the easy way. On the other hand, I was never not an atheist. And would that make either them or me "more" or "less" of an atheist?

Like in some vampire movies, the ones that are born vampires often hold themselves in higher esteem than the ones who were turned later in life.

Or, to paraphrase Bane in The Dark Knight Rises:

"Ahh, you think atheism is your ally? You merely adopted non-belief. I was born in it. Molded by it."

But that was in my younger days. Since then, I have realized that the only factor defining an atheist is a lack of belief in any god. That's it. How long you've been one or how you came to be one doesn't matter one bit. There's nothing else to follow or do or believe that would have any bearing on how well one is being an atheist.

Oh I love that, philosophy!

So, an atheist has nothing else to do, but not believing into god, so to speak?
So, you believe in nothing at all, literally speaking?
I'm asking because there is the saying: "One can't believe in nothing". I mean, if it's not god, then it is i.e. science you believe in. (Or vampires, as you seem to like vampires. )