Democrat vs Republican

[whitestone12]

The differences in the two parties. Funny and true.

If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

I forwarded it.



Brilliant Author is Unknown but it sure isn't Jeff Foxworthy.

 

[Halossellar]

I liked it except for the "funny and true" part. Jeff Foxworthy didn't say it and it's not funny.

Halossellar says the difference between a republican and a democrat is that one forwards garbage and the other puts it in the trashcan.

 

[whitestone12]

I liked it except for the "funny and true" part. Jeff Foxworthy didn't say it and it's not funny.

Halossellar says the difference between a republican and a democrat is that one forwards garbage and the other puts it in the trashcan.

And so it is proven factual:

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

 

[Halossellar]

And so it is proven factual:

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

So you aren't concerned that it isn't from Jeff Foxworthy? You don't care about truth at all?

 

[whitestone12]

So you aren't concerned that it isn't from Jeff Foxworthy? You don't care about truth at all?

I'm a conservative Republican so of course I care about truth.

The e-mail I received stated the remarks were by Foxworthy. As it is fitting with other reports, even though he normally isn't political, I see no reason to go to Snopes to try to verify it. Especially since Snopes is really good at saying things like "probably false," when something is there they don't like but can't prove to be incorrect. Just sayin'.

ABC News:
Self-proclaimed Redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy joined Romney on the Alabama campaign trail today after endorsing the GOP candidate via Twitter last week.

"Time for Republicans to unite behind Governor Romney, a great leader who can win the White House and rebuild our economy for all Americans," Foxworthy tweeted Thursday.




​

 

[Halossellar]

I'm a conservative Republican so of course I care about truth.

The e-mail I received stated the remarks were by Foxworthy. As it is fitting with other reports, even though he normally isn't political, I see no reason to go to Snopes to try to verify it. Especially since Snopes is really good at saying things like "probably false," when something is there they don't like but can't prove to be incorrect. Just sayin'.

ABC News:
Self-proclaimed Redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy joined Romney on the Alabama campaign trail today after endorsing the GOP candidate via Twitter last week.

"Time for Republicans to unite behind Governor Romney, a great leader who can win the White House and rebuild our economy for all Americans," Foxworthy tweeted Thursday.




​

So it's false, but as it fits your political agenda, you don't care. You're giving republicans a bad na.... I couldn't type that without laughing.

 

[RedPaddy]

And so it is proven factual:

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

I think you are on to something. In my experience (your may differ), liberals are much quicker to take offense than conservatives are.

Just for confirmation, and with no specifics please, I wonder if any of the staff on this forum can confirm or refute this. Just curious....

 

[DaisyDay]

I'm a conservative Republican so of course I care about truth.

Non sequitur.

The e-mail I received stated the remarks were by Foxworthy.

Oh well, if an email stated it, it must be true.

As it is fitting with other reports, even though he normally isn't political, I see no reason to go to Snopes to try to verify it. Especially since Snopes is really good at saying things like "probably false," when something is there they don't like but can't prove to be incorrect. Just sayin'.

They say probably false when there is no evidence that it is true and it is inconsistent with known facts; when they have evidence, they report it.

Snopes is not the only place to check facts. Do you see no reason to verify it elsewhere since you do care about the truth?

On the other hand, idiotic jokes praising yourself and dissing the other side don't really need verification (just whether the source is, in fact, Foxworthy).

 

[DaisyDay]

ABC News:
Self-proclaimed Redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy joined Romney on the Alabama campaign trail today after endorsing the GOP candidate via Twitter last week.

"Time for Republicans to unite behind Governor Romney, a great leader who can win the White House and rebuild our economy for all Americans," Foxworthy tweeted Thursday.
​

You say he's not political?

 

[Billnew]

I would prefer proper credit be given to the person that made the list.

Since they aren't funny, I side with them not being Foxworthy.

 

[Jro]

Could we post better conservative jokes? I thought it was hilarious when Senator Ryan said that his favorite band was Rage Against the Machine, as I'm pretty sure that was a joke at their (and liberals) expense. As a liberal, I'm willing to admit that was a pretty sick burn, especially when he got such a rise out of Zack De La Rocha. These are all kind of unfunny and suck.

 

[Halossellar]

I think you are on to something. In my experience (your may differ), liberals are much quicker to take offense than conservatives are.

Just for confirmation, and with no specifics please, I wonder if any of the staff on this forum can confirm or refute this. Just curious....

This OP would hardly be a good example as its "claim to fame" is that it's from Jeff Foxworthy. Shouldn't any prudent person take offense by sophomoric attempts at humor aimed at them, especially when they are inappropriately attributed? If this email wasn't attributed to anyone, it would just be a poor attempt at humor at liberals expense. Even I could turn this one around and make it funnier just by slightly altering and then applying most of the quotes to republicans.

 

[RedPaddy]

This OP would hardly be a good example as its "claim to fame" is that it's from Jeff Foxworthy. Shouldn't any prudent person take offense by sophomoric attempts at humor aimed at them, especially when they are inappropriately attributed? If this email wasn't attributed to anyone, it would just be a poor attempt at humor at liberals expense. Even I could turn this one around and make it funnier just by slightly altering and then applying most of the quotes to republicans.

Thanks for your confirmation of my premise.

 

[Halossellar]

Thanks for your confirmation of my premise.

You're welcome. To be honest though, democrats are outraged by lies, republicans by the truth.

 

[RedPaddy]

You're welcome. To be honest though, democrats are outraged by lies, republicans by the truth.

I've seen that bumpersticker but did not opt to buy it.

 

[Halossellar]

Jeff Foxworthy's take on the differences in the two parties. Funny and true.

If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".

I forwarded it.

Halossellar's take on the differences in the two parties. Funnier and truer.

If a Democrat reads about a mass shooting, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican reads about a mass shooting, he buys more guns.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he wants all vegetables deported.

If a Democrat is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Republican is homosexual, he hides in the closet and bashes gays anyway.

If a Democrat is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Republican yells "They took our jobs!"

If a Democrat doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Republicans demand that those they don't like be shut down. (Oh come on, this one was absurdly inverted in the original list)

If a Democrat is a believer, he goes to church.
A Republican believer wants any mention of anyone else's God and religion silenced.

If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Republican says "I got mine, you get yours!"

If a Democrat reads this, he'll chuckle and then delete it because he doesn't need validation from others to know what to believe.
A Republican will post it on Christian Forums and attribute it to Ahmadinejad.

 

[RedPaddy]

Halossellar's take on the differences in the two parties. Funnier and truer.

If a Democrat reads about a mass shooting, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican reads about a mass shooting, he buys more guns.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he wants all vegetables deported.

If a Democrat is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Republican is homosexual, he hides in the closet and bashes gays anyway.

If a Democrat is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Republican yells "They took our jobs!"

If a Democrat doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Republicans demand that those they don't like be shut down. (Oh come on, this one was absurdly inverted in the original list)

If a Democrat is a believer, he goes to church.
A Republican believer wants any mention of anyone else's God and religion silenced.

If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Republican says "I got mine, you get yours!"

If a Democrat reads this, he'll chuckle and then delete it because he doesn't need validation from others to know what to believe.
A Republican will post it on Christian Forums and attribute it to Ahmadinejad.

Halossellar, I applaud you on your attempt at humour.

Given enough time and practice, I am confident that you will eventually post something we can all chuckle over in the same way. Keep up the good work.

 

[Halossellar]

Halossellar, I applaud you on your attempt at humour.

Given enough time and practice, I am confident that you will eventually post something we can all chuckle over in the same way. Keep up the good work.

Oh come on admit it. At least a couple of my refinements were funnier than the original even if you are a republican. Can't we all just get along?

 

[SepiaAndDust]

I think you are on to something. In my experience (your may differ), liberals are much quicker to take offense than conservatives are.

Just for confirmation, and with no specifics please, I wonder if any of the staff on this forum can confirm or refute this. Just curious....

In my experience, liberals are more quick to take offense... on someone else's behalf. Conservatives are more likely to give offense, though, so it all evens out, I guess.

 

[RedPaddy]

Oh come on admit it. At least a couple of my refinements were funnier than the original even if you are a republican. Can't we all just get along?

Unfortuneately, I did not find that to be true, but I purposefully choose to take no offense.

It's kind of like a holiday gathering with family who are on opposite ends of the political spectrum. We smile and keep certain thoughts to ourselves.