How to eliminate geeks from my dating pool

[Miss Spaulding]

I would find that equally unnecessary, and rude. Imagine if the topic was how to eliminate Mexicans from my dating pool.

As something my Dad would say, "All this getting offended has gotta stop." Lol.

Imagine if the topic was how to eliminate Republicans from my dating pool? Lol...I personally wouldn't be offended in the least, in fact, I'd be amused. In life offences are going to come, and I think people need to start choosing their battles more wisely and make a conscience decision not to be offended all the time (yes, even over discussions like these). People know that other people have personal preferences/opinions on everything, and that includes who they think are/aren't good for them relationship-wise. I don't see anything wrong with that, nor do I see anything wrong with someone bringing the issue up (or creating a discussion if online), just so long as it's discussed tactfully and respectfully. Now, would I personally create a discussion like this? No. But I have my own reasons for that.

I think any 'geek' on here who doesn't like the fact that this discussion has be made or the fact that Daughter of Ararat desires to 'eliminate' geeks from her dating pool, needs to chill. Not everyone likes a geek, not everyone likes a Mexican, not everyone likes a Republican...that's life. Get over it.

 

[Nanopants]

As something my Dad would say, "All this getting offended has gotta stop." Lol.

Imagine if the topic was how to eliminate Republicans from my dating pool? Lol...I personally wouldn't be offended in the least, in fact, I'd be amused. In life offences are going to come, and I think people need to start choosing their battles more wisely and make a conscience decision not to be offended all the time (yes, even over discussions like these). People know that other people have personal preferences/opinions on everything, and that includes who they think are/aren't good for them relationship-wise. I don't see anything wrong with that, nor do I see anything wrong with someone bringing the issue up (or creating a discussion if online), just so long as it's discussed tactfully and respectfully. Now, would I personally create a discussion like this? No. But I have my own reasons for that.

I think any 'geek' on here who doesn't like the fact that this discussion has be made or the fact that Daughter of Ararat desires to 'eliminate' geeks from her dating pool, needs to chill. Not everyone likes a geek, not everyone likes a Mexican, not everyone likes a Republican...that's life. Get over it.

Fortunately that doesn't rule out an opportunity to love others as Christ loved us, for those of us who are not personally offended. You have a point that there are some very biased, racist and bigoted people in the world, but frankly it has no place in a Christian community.

So by your own logic, if anyone here were to personally offend you, their actions should be defended. If the measure you use is measured back to you, it appears that you just declared open season on yourself.

 

[RebornBen]

As something my Dad would say, "All this getting offended has gotta stop." Lol.

Imagine if the topic was how to eliminate Republicans from my dating pool? Lol...I personally wouldn't be offended in the least, in fact, I'd be amused. In life offences are going to come, and I think people need to start choosing their battles more wisely and make a conscience decision not to be offended all the time (yes, even over discussions like these). People know that other people have personal preferences/opinions on everything, and that includes who they think are/aren't good for them relationship-wise. I don't see anything wrong with that, nor do I see anything wrong with someone bringing the issue up (or creating a discussion if online), just so long as it's discussed tactfully and respectfully. Now, would I personally create a discussion like this? No. But I have my own reasons for that.

I think any 'geek' on here who doesn't like the fact that this discussion has be made or the fact that Daughter of Ararat desires to 'eliminate' geeks from her dating pool, needs to chill. Not everyone likes a geek, not everyone likes a Mexican, not everyone likes a Republican...that's life. Get over it.

Generally I tend to agree with what you say but I feel you didn't think through that second to last sentence.

Basically what that translates to is that if you don't like Mexicans it's ok to post racist threads because you don't like them. Deal with it.
That doesn't sound right does it...

If you don't like a group of people maybe just keep it to yourself and try to figure out what you want to achieve instead of what you want to avoid.

As I said before I don't think of myself as a geek really but I still think this whole thread is pretty provocative towards the people that identify themselves with said term.

I know they don't need a white knight to stand up for them but me and apparently a lot of others felt that OP's attitude seemed somewhat arrogant.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Ok two things:

1. Why do some people hate us geeks? I've met women who hate geeks, and always go for the "I'm a bad boy" guy for example (not directed at TC). Then we get the pregnant and he leaves, the women go back looking for a good guy this time. Then most often they notice the geek has made something of himself and may be happily married and they question if their choice of guy was bad.

True, some geeks/nerds can get heavily into gaming. But its more of a stereotype. I am a old fashioned gentlman whos a geek. We do exist. Its the non-geeks that worry me beacuse they are usually bad boys, sports fanatics or something along those lines. My pastor, who I think is wonderful does obssess about sports. Sometimes his sermons are based around them and he pretty much does sport related things at the church. Its a bit overboard.

2. How do you know who God has in store for you? So often people make these lists of wants, but they forget you never know who God will give you. I tried asking a good female friend of mine out once and she told me she wasn't into geeky, disabled guys who don't really have money to buy her stuff. Well years later I bumped into her and her new husband. Who was in fact a disabled geek who collected SSI.

That is perhaps the worst thing I find about trying to find someone. Everyone has huge lists. People forget this is not a fairy tale, this is real life. 99.9% of women on christian dating sites had VERY long lists including you had to have some muscle, no fat at all. You had to good looking and dress well. You had to want kids. You had to do this, this and this. >.<

When your wants are that bad you may never find that perfect man because perfect doesn't exist. We are to love everyone the same, so saying you don't want a certain type of person is not showing love then. I've never been picky. The first woman I was with had a child, weighed alot, was caucasian and had a mental disorder.

The second woman I was with was skinny, african-american. THe third was was very tall (like a foot bigger then me), more quiet and was terminaly ill. And now the current woman I amw ith (my bride to be) is filipino, very short and very skinny and I found out is a bit hearing impared... oh and is a pastors daughter! ^.^

Actually I tell people if they are looking for a good gentleman whos romantic and truly will not cheat on you. Look for someone who is disabled. We often ahve been through alot and it has made us very loving and compassionte because we understand the pain in life. Its why when I found out my fiance has TB I did not think anything bad about it because I understood. As did she, she messaged me saying "I understand what its like to be sicker now, I love you even more!".

So anyways wasn't trying to rant or sound harsh. Just saying if you open up your love life and accept anyone, God will give you someone that he knows you need, someone that when you talk to them you will realize is even better then anyone you could have wanted!

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Generally I tend to agree with what you say but I feel you didn't think through that second to last sentence.

Basically what that translates to is that if you don't like Mexicans it's ok to post racist threads because you don't like them. Deal with it.
That doesn't sound right does it...

If you don't like a group of people maybe just keep it to yourself and try to figure out what you want to achieve instead of what you want to avoid.

No, I didn't say that at all. I did say that if someone should bring up a discussion that could potentially be offensive to some people, that that person should go about it tactfully and respectfully...otherwise, if you know yourself well and know that you won't be able to do so, then keep your mouth shut on the subject (<--- This I should have included in my previous post).

Fortunately that doesn't rule out an opportunity to love others as Christ loved us, for those of us who are not personally offended. You have a point that there are some very biased, racist and bigoted people in the world, but frankly it has no place in a Christian community.

So by your own logic, if anyone here were to personally offend you, their actions should be defended. If the measure you use is measured back to you, it appears that you just declared open season on yourself.

What I said has absolutely nothing to do with not loving anyone.

It's always 'open season' on me. I'm one of these people who never get offended or hurt over anything. I guess I'm just weird. But no, not all offences should be defended. I never insinuated that. In fact, I pretty much was strictly staying on topic, talking about how 'people who get offended over someone else asking for advice on how to exclude their type from the person's dating pool because that person isn't interested in that particular type.' ...I wasn't speaking about all offences in general. Everyone knows that there are offences that are inexcusable.

 

[Nanopants]

What I said has absolutely nothing to do with not loving anyone.

It's always 'open season' on me. I'm one of these people who never get offended or hurt over anything. I guess I'm just weird. But no, not all offences should be defended. I never insinuated that. In fact, I pretty much was strictly staying on topic, talking about how 'people who get offended over someone else asking for advice on how to exclude their type from the person's dating pool because that person isn't interested in that particular type.' ...I wasn't speaking about all offences in general. Everyone knows that there are offences that are inexcusable.

That does make me curious. How do you think that any offense can be justified? And who is it that gets to decide about which offenses are excusable vs. inexcusable?

 

[BayCityBomber]

As something my Dad would say, "All this getting offended has gotta stop." Lol.

Imagine if the topic was how to eliminate Republicans from my dating pool? Lol...I personally wouldn't be offended in the least, in fact, I'd be amused. In life offences are going to come, and I think people need to start choosing their battles more wisely and make a conscience decision not to be offended all the time (yes, even over discussions like these). People know that other people have personal preferences/opinions on everything, and that includes who they think are/aren't good for them relationship-wise. I don't see anything wrong with that, nor do I see anything wrong with someone bringing the issue up (or creating a discussion if online), just so long as it's discussed tactfully and respectfully. Now, would I personally create a discussion like this? No. But I have my own reasons for that.

I think any 'geek' on here who doesn't like the fact that this discussion has be made or the fact that Daughter of Ararat desires to 'eliminate' geeks from her dating pool, needs to chill. Not everyone likes a geek, not everyone likes a Mexican, not everyone likes a Republican...that's life. Get over it.

I'd agree if something like this came up as the natural result of a conversation. Posting a thread to single out people as a group of deficients just goes that extra mile into why does anyone need to go out of her way to advertise it. It runs both ways.

I think geeks are subject to enough social exclusion that it's really unnecessary to announce publicly that you also exclude them.

 

[wannaberocker]

Generally I tend to agree with what you say but I feel you didn't think through that second to last sentence.

Basically what that translates to is that if you don't like Mexicans it's ok to post racist threads because you don't like them. Deal with it.
That doesn't sound right does it...

If you don't like a group of people maybe just keep it to yourself and try to figure out what you want to achieve instead of what you want to avoid.

No, what she is saying is that freedom requires that sometimes we do have to listen to speech that we may consider vile. That is not to say people should dislike other people, it simply pointing out the reality that not everyone likes everyone else in the world.

 

[Ariadne_GR]

I'd agree if something like this came up as the natural result of a conversation. Posting a thread to single out people as a group of deficients just goes that extra mile into why does anyone need to go out of her way to advertise it. It runs both ways.

I think geeks are subject to enough social exclusion that it's really unnecessary to announce publicly that you also exclude them.

When did she say that they are a group of deficients? I don't see how her saying she doesn't want to date a certain type of person means that she believes that group is deficient? They're not right for HER, she's not saying they aren't right for others.

 

[Nanopants]

No, what she is saying is that freedom requires that sometimes we do have to listen to speech that we may consider vile. That is not to say people should dislike other people, it simply pointing out the reality that not everyone likes everyone else in the world.

Hurrah for freedom! I guess that means that you all have to listen to whatever disagreement might arise in the situation. "Deal with it", I believe, is what was determined to be the appropriate response.

 

[wannaberocker]

Hurrah for freedom! I guess that means that you all have to listen to whatever disagreement might arise in the situation. "Deal with it", I believe, is what was determined to be the appropriate response.

Yup, listen and make your choice and if ya feel yourself getting offended. Go find something else to do and let the people who are not offended continue.

 

[Nanopants]

Yup, listen and make your choice and if ya feel yourself getting offended. Go find something else to do and let the people who are not offended continue.

That doesn't sound like freedom to me :\

 

[BayCityBomber]

No, what she is saying is that freedom requires that sometimes we do have to listen to speech that we may consider vile. That is not to say people should dislike other people, it simply pointing out the reality that not everyone likes everyone else in the world.

Would it be very productive for all of us to start threads on what kinds of people we don't like? There's a difference between not liking someone, and going out of your way to advertise it.

 

[KingCrimson250]

Daughter of Ararat, if you're here, and you're still listening, I just want to say, that I think what you're saying is cool and not offensive. I mean, saying "I don't want to date a geek" is basically the same as someone saying "I'd rather date a geek," just, you know, the opposite. Man, she's not saying "Wow guys, have you seen those geeks? They are just completely undateable children who are a cancerous tumour upon the body of Christ." She's saying "I don't want to date a geek because they tend to be very passionate about things that don't really interest me and I don't think that's a good platform for a relationship." And you know what? That's totally legit.

Like, unless you've all got personal crushes on DofA herself, I don't really see why her lack of interest in dating geeks is all that hurtful. She's not saying that geeks are bad dates. She's not saying that dudes who are geeks are crappy husbands. She's not advising that all women stay away from the geeks. She's just saying they're not for her, and she seems like she's spent most of her time with geeks and is wondering where to meet other people. I'm totally cool with that.

I'm kind of the same way. I'm just all like, "Where can I meet Christian women who listen to good music instead of four-chord rubbish?" and everyone's like "You can't! Now buy the new Hillsong album! Conform! CONFORM! One of us! One of us! One of us!"

 

[Rhye]

Daughter of Ararat, if you're here, and you're still listening, I just want to say, that I think what you're saying is cool and not offensive. I mean, saying "I don't want to date a geek" is basically the same as someone saying "I'd rather date a geek," just, you know, the opposite. Man, she's not saying "Wow guys, have you seen those geeks? They are just completely undateable children who are a cancerous tumour upon the body of Christ." She's saying "I don't want to date a geek because they tend to be very passionate about things that don't really interest me and I don't think that's a good platform for a relationship." And you know what? That's totally legit.

Like, unless you've all got personal crushes on DofA herself, I don't really see why her lack of interest in dating geeks is all that hurtful. She's not saying that geeks are bad dates. She's not saying that dudes who are geeks are crappy husbands. She's not advising that all women stay away from the geeks. She's just saying they're not for her, and she seems like she's spent most of her time with geeks and is wondering where to meet other people. I'm totally cool with that.

I'm kind of the same way. I'm just all like, "Where can I meet Christian women who listen to good music instead of four-chord rubbish?" and everyone's like "You can't! Now buy the new Hillsong album! Conform! CONFORM! One of us! One of us! One of us!"

I agree.

 

[RebornBen]

No, I didn't say that at all. I did say that if someone should bring up a discussion that could potentially be offensive to some people, that that person should go about it tactfully and respectfully...otherwise, if you know yourself well and know that you won't be able to do so, then keep your mouth shut on the subject (<--- This I should have included in my previous post).

Well you said that people are entitled to their opinion and to say it out loud on a forum. Not liking Mexicans is an opinion but isn't all that smart to post about.

No, what she is saying is that freedom requires that sometimes we do have to listen to speech that we may consider vile. That is not to say people should dislike other people, it simply pointing out the reality that not everyone likes everyone else in the world.

Yeah and that it's ok to shout it out everywhere because you're entitled to your opinion. So that's basically what I said. Read my post, you missed my point.

 

[wannaberocker]

Would it be very productive for all of us to start threads on what kinds of people we don't like? There's a difference between not liking someone, and going out of your way to advertise it.

Depends on how you are measuring "productive" lol. Maybe for the person who really wants to share who they will exclude from the dating pool it would be productive. I don’t know.

 

[wannaberocker]

That doesn't sound like freedom to me :\

It&#8217;s the freedom to participate or not.

 

[Daughter of Ararat]

Well you said that people are entitled to their opinion and to say it out loud on a forum. Not liking Mexicans is an opinion but isn't all that smart to post about.

Yeah and that it's ok to shout it out everywhere because you're entitled to your opinion. So that's basically what I said. Read my post, you missed my point.

This isn't a thread about not liking geeks. It's a thread about how to get my dating range out of the one I am most experienced with that really doesn't seem to be my type especially these days. (Sorry, if I was better at meeting/chatting with/get hit on by other kinds of guys, maybe I would not have a reason for this thread.)

Saying you do not like Mexicans is one thing, but saying that you found it too hard to (in the absence of an amazing Mexican person you have never met) adapt to Mexican culture to seriously consider marring into a deeply Mexican family, 1. it seems like another thing to me, and 2. I would not be encouraging you to pursue a possibility of marriage (and some 22,000 days sharing your lives as one) with someone who is very attached to his/her Mexican culture, deeply immersed in the community, and close to his large Mexican family or you are not being loving. In fact, such a person might be more comfortable being themselves and being honest about themselves in a quieter, more reserved culture. Maybe that person would get along well with an East Asian or a Scandinavian person (they sometimes hang out at Lutheran churches).

I want to date to meet a kind of guy and guy himself who could be my husband one day. I am not a perfect person, but I want someone I can be perfect for, as I am, flaws and all, just as a guy might not be perfect but could still be perfect for me. If I am not right for someone as I am, is it really right to ask me to consider giving up what I need in my life, my career goals, personal goals, pro-active steps taken to improve my well-being and take better care of my life, and sense of esthetics, and take an interest in something I really don't want in my life because someone else likes it?

You don't know me, yet several of you have judged me.

To those of you who understand that sharing the love of God is about more than considering everyone you share with as a potential spouse, thank you.

 

[Rhye]

I would find that equally unnecessary, and rude. Imagine if the topic was how to eliminate Mexicans from my dating pool.

Even if the OP wasn't worded correctly, people calling her this or that (and a lot of assuming who she is as a person), isn't nice either.