I need help to stop bulimia ..?

[eckhart]

I have had bulimia for over # years, and I need to stop it.
Its the reason why I joined this forum, I am really close in my relationship with God, and am loving church, prayer, Bible study, closer than ever.
But, I can't stop being bulimic, it just won't go away. All the amount of prayer seems to do nothing. I feel like another person, or demon, is controlling the thoughts I have about eating, binging, purging, my weight, body image etc... I feel so pathetic and rediculous, God has done so much for me but yet I still have bulimia, its like an addiction.
Any advice? I am open to anything???

 

[blessedmomof5]

Hi Evie,

Its a big step to even admit that you suffer with bulmia, well any ED but esp, that one'
It was for me anyway! At my worst with my anorrexia and odd i
Learned about bulima after being in a eating disorder clinic for a little over a mth.
Let me tell you what that did my body anorexia aside
Heart attack(mild) i think for me the praying that i wld make threw another time was the worst!
Like ok if i'm thinking i might die or it could be hi on the list bc of the way iwas feeling why WHY would i do it?

So much more i am sure you know them!

The first step was admitting it! Prayers mouves Mountains, but i don't think God intended for it to be a POOF its gone kinda thing?

We need to see what his will is on a situation, and clearly you r listening to His voice!

You need to get to a dr, get blood work done!
Tell him/her honestly whats been going on! If they dont listen go to another until you find one that cares enough about YOU that they'll take the time needed to treat you phyisically!
Then a therapist to find why your feel your not worthy enough to keep food from nuriouding ur body
But most of all your church family! They should play a huge part in this also! Prayer meetings, women groups, groups for young adults, anywhere u can get support! Get it! If u feel judged there, then maybe The Holy spirit has left that Group, have discernment,!
You evie are a Child of the Most High God,
He does not want to to live like this!

He wants You to live in Spirit and Truth!



God bless you evie!!!
If you ever want to talk my pm box is always open

 

[eckhart]

Thankyou for your advice, i get scared about the effects it will have on my body because you cant see inside to your stomach. booking appointments with a pyschology clinic and hopefully that will help.
it has been getting better than it was thanks to prayer. yesterday I didnt even think about it and spent the whole day free. I feel God is showing me how much I lack the Holy Spirit in my life, I need it. I need to praise him more.

 

[motherprayer]

Praying for you! I'm sorry I can't offer much in the way of advice, but I CAN offer prayer!

 

[blessedmomof5]

Hi Evie,

I'm glad to hear you have made an appt with a clinic! Were they able to get you an appt quickly?

How have you been doing?
The thing with (B) is it's not having to worryabout what it does just to your stomach, there is a host of so many other complications that can arise from it!

Can i ask, have you spoken to anyone about this?
Maybe ur parents? Pastor in church? Girlfriend?

Praying evie

Thankyou for your advice, i get scared about the effects it will have on my body because you cant see inside to your stomach. booking appointments with a pyschology clinic and hopefully that will help.
it has been getting better than it was thanks to prayer. yesterday I didnt even think about it and spent the whole day free. I feel God is showing me how much I lack the Holy Spirit in my life, I need it. I need to praise him more.

 

[eckhart]

Hi Evie,

I'm glad to hear you have made an appt with a clinic! Were they able to get you an appt quickly?

How have you been doing?
The thing with (B) is it's not having to worryabout what it does just to your stomach, there is a host of so many other complications that can arise from it!

Can i ask, have you spoken to anyone about this?
Maybe ur parents? Pastor in church? Girlfriend?

Praying evie

Have been going during the week to see someone at a pyschology clinic and it has been helping. My bible study group has helped me the most and I feel that the prayer is really being the answer to the disorder. The painful feeling in my throat and esophagus has almost gone it feels like years since i havent had stomach ache or the other aweful feelings that come along with it. A week without it has made me so happy, thankyou for the support everyone has given me, I am getting over this!

 

[paul becke]

How wonderful to read that you have already been making great progress, Evie. I don't know if my two penn'orth would contribute something in addition, or not, but here it is anyway:

I can't speak with any authority on this issue, Evie, but it strikes me that the spirit of asceticism, which underpins all the mainstream religions, would be an invaluable means of dealing with your bulimia, since you are clearly sincere about wanting to overcome it.

A great help in understanding the concept is the book, an essay on comparative religion by Aldous Huxley, called, The Perennial Philsophy.

For you, asceticism would mean denying yourself the luxury of overeating or of under-eating, but just eating a healthy amount; merely using your judgement would be part of your self-discipline. And after all, self-discipline in some measure, is fundamental to our faith, indeed to all religions properly so-called, the the word, 'religion' is derived from the Latin word, 'religere', which means, to 'bind'.

Temptation too, is very much a part of our faith, isn't it? So try not to see it as a health issue, but as a faith issue. Not necessarily as a demand, unless you feel that would help you, but as an act of generosity towards God. After all, by respecting your body, you are, at the same time, honouring God, who made it and sustains it. It would be a form of prayer, and a very powerful one.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Evie,

Glory to God!!
May The Lord continue to Free you from this bondage!

I pray for total healing of mind and body!

Have been going during the week to see someone at a pyschology clinic and it has been helping. My bible study group has helped me the most and I feel that the prayer is really being the answer to the disorder. The painful feeling in my throat and esophagus has almost gone it feels like years since i havent had stomach ache or the other aweful feelings that come along with it. A week without it has made me so happy, thankyou for the support everyone has given me, I am getting over this!

 

[eckhart]

Thank you Paul - i will definately hire that work by Huxley, really liked his writing in brave new world. Temptation to eat and not eat and the sinful nature of those types of thoughts have been going around in my head so much, it really is a test of faith just to have to always be thinking of the Lord. Just finished my bible study, we are going through Elijah in Kings; i wanted to share how he used the prophets of baal and the bull sacrifice to show what God can do when you ask for him, if you know what I mean.
This is so spiritually challenging im asking to stop this and slowly it is happening.

 

[paul becke]

Thank you Paul - i will definately hire that work by Huxley, really liked his writing in brave new world. Temptation to eat and not eat and the sinful nature of those types of thoughts have been going around in my head so much, it really is a test of faith just to have to always be thinking of the Lord. Just finished my bible study, we are going through Elijah in Kings; i wanted to share how he used the prophets of baal and the bull sacrifice to show what God can do when you ask for him, if you know what I mean.
This is so spiritually challenging im asking to stop this and slowly it is happening.

Although, fortunately, not troubled by an addiction, myself, Evie, I used to visit an alcoholic support-group thread on the liberal forum, Democratic Underground, and was really struck by the similarity between the attitude of self-denial, of taking each day - even each moment* - at a time, required of alcoholics, in order to renounce drinking, and the interior life required of spiritual people, devout Christians.

To give up alcohol in that way and not profit from the more formal spiritual benefits of the Christian faith seems weird to me. Since many who succeeded were content to call upon the help of what they were able to call their 'Higher Power' - for some it was too close to God! - it seemed as if they'd done the donkey-work and were turning down the nosebag(!) so to speak. One young woman who was an atheist columnist in the Guardian, said, if it works, as it had for her, it's madness to be squeamish about calling upon 'your Higher Power'.

* There is also a spiritual classic by an 18th-century Jesuit writer, Jean-Pierre de Caussade, called Abandonment to Divine Providence, in which he talks about, the 'sacrament of the present moment'. This link too will take you to some profound and enlightening sayings of his:

http://sozein.org.uk/Pdf/deCaussadefold.pdf

 

[eckhart]

Paul -
What amazing pieces of work, currently reading perennial philosophy, and the sayings of jean pierre de caussade are so well written i really cannot stop reading both pieces of work. Anything else of the same context or topic? it has also helped with my bulimia recovery, which is going really well.
God's peace and love! Evelyn

 

[Johnnz]

I'm glad you have sought professional help. Bulimia is very hard to get through. You will need very resource you can find. There are likely to be underlying issues which you will need some help with to identify and address. Recovery will be a journey rather than sudden change.

John
NZ

 

[paul becke]

Paul -
What amazing pieces of work, currently reading perennial philosophy, and the sayings of jean pierre de caussade are so well written i really cannot stop reading both pieces of work. Anything else of the same context or topic? it has also helped with my bulimia recovery, which is going really well.
God's peace and love! Evelyn

Unfortunately, not, Evie, but they were both pivotal in my life. One of the beauties of the 'sacrament of the present moment' is that it seldom requires great effort on our part, more 'acquiescence' to the Holy Spirit, and as regards trials, a willingness to suffer, undergo, endure; always eventually, richly rewarded.

How wonderful that those texts are really 'edifying' you, building you up? I must say I really love many of those quotations in the Perennial Philosophy. Thomas Traherne, and the Sufi, the Bayazid of Bistun! I can just imagine his friend's response, when he knocked on Bayazid's door and getting no answer, called out, 'Is anyone in?' And received the very helpful reply, 'Is anyone here but God?'!!! 'Now, Bayazid, that's not really desperately helpful, is it?'

And Thomas Traherne: 'the corn was orient and immortal wheat that never should be reaped, nor was ever sown. I thought it had stood from everlasting to everlasting.' And:

'You never enjoy the world aright, till the Sea itself floweth in your veins, till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars: and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world, and more than so, because men are in it who are every one sole heirs as well as you.'

 

[eckhart]

I'm glad you have sought professional help. Bulimia is very hard to get through. You will need very resource you can find. There are likely to be underlying issues which you will need some help with to identify and address. Recovery will be a journey rather than sudden change.

John
NZ

Completely agree with you here, it is a journey and right now I am measuring out my life in minutes and hours, each day becomes better. Im not relying on the professional help as much, more my prayer and strength in faith.

Unfortunately, not, Evie, but they were both pivotal in my life. One of the beauties of the 'sacrament of the present moment' is that it seldom requires great effort on our part, more 'acquiescence' to the Holy Spirit, and as regards trials, a willingness to suffer, undergo, endure; always eventually, richly rewarded.

How wonderful that those texts are really 'edifying' you, building you up? I must say I really love many of those quotations in the Perennial Philosophy. Thomas Traherne, and the Sufi, the Bayazid of Bistun! I can just imagine his friend's response, when he knocked on Bayazid's door and getting no answer, called out, 'Is anyone in?' And received the very helpful reply, 'Is anyone here but God?'!!! 'Now, Bayazid, that's not really desperately helpful, is it?'

And Thomas Traherne: 'the corn was orient and immortal wheat that never should be reaped, nor was ever sown. I thought it had stood from everlasting to everlasting.' And:

'You never enjoy the world aright, till the Sea itself floweth in your veins, till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars: and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world, and more than so, because men are in it who are every one sole heirs as well as you.'

That's a shame, still enjoying reading both!

Giving thanks to God for another day free of bulimia! Will continue to keep posting on this when I get time.
"I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit is faint, you know my way." - Psalm one hundred and forty two
"What happens to us each moment by God's design is for us the holiest, best and most divine thing." - Jean Pierre de Caussade
said Psalm one hundred and forty two, seven times, just to remember it and read it over, and jean pierre's sayings have been so inspirational to me!

 

[paul becke]

Evie, don't the Psalms speak to us so personally, in our darkest hour! And better still in our lightest, happiest hour, when we can look back and think, 'Yep, I've sure felt that way at times. You couldn't have put it better, David.'

I just opened the Bible at random to check on the Psalm, and it was just on the page before. I'm telling God He's slipping.

Incidentally, as a refinement, a flourish, a curlicue, you could make a habit of leaving just a little of your meal on the side of your plate. I was advised to do that. It would be an expression of your total control of your eating: not eating too little and not eating too much. 'I'm in charge!'

Not that I don't have a little debate with myself, now and then, about how little I could get away with leaving! Well... truth to tell, sometimes I eat it all. But not if it's a big meal.

 

[paul becke]

How are you, Evelyn?

You were asking me about other books, and I thought of two others: Christ in His Mysteries by Abbott Columba Marmion had a profound effect on me. It gave me a much better perspective on the humanity of Jesus, and the way in which Bible-reading should be understood, i.e. as God speaking to the reader personally.

Other books I expect you would find interesting - if you haven't already read them - are The Cloud of Unknowing by a medieval author and The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis.

I'm glad you're getting such fellowship and help with your church friends, and I expect the psychologist's perspective would be interesting, as regards the possible influences/causes of your succumbing to that ailment in the first place.

Anyway, I hope, and you sounded as if, you won't look back; as if you have your psycho-spiritual balance and perhaps natural strength back. I hope so.

 

[eckhart]

Last night I threw up and ended about two weeks without it!
I got so anxious about what I was eating. my parents were telling me I had to eat this amount of food. I'd put it off my plate and back into the dish on the table, but I ended up eating what was cooked. Then I justified to myself that its okay to be bulimic because i ate way too much.
And now I feel so far away from God, i feel pathetic and so sad. What should I do? I need to pray but i feel too embarrassed, actually embarrassed infront of God.

 

[Johnnz]

God hasn't thrown up his hands in disgust. Rather, He is there to embrace and comfort you. Always.

John
NZ

 

[eckhart]

God hasn't thrown up his hands in disgust. Rather, He is there to embrace and comfort you. Always.

John
NZ

Any idea what or how I should pray about?

 

[Johnnz]

Never fear the status of your relationship with Jesus. His attitude towards you won't change.

A desire/need for control is often seen as a factor in bulimia. That can be rooted in insecurity, fear, trauma or some other negative background. Anything like that you are aware of?

John
NZ