the importance of Virginity?

[gattaca]

i just don't understand why people believe that Virginity is so important?
it just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[yasic]

I can't really answer the question. Virginity is important in some scenarios and not important in others.

For instance, I would have a hard time dating someone who is a virgin right now, however in the teen years such a concern seems silly.

 

[David Jerome]

It's interesting that virginity, when it is valued, is mostly valued in women, and is usually a source of mockery for men.

 

[JustMeSee]

i just don't understand why people believe that Virginity is so important?
it just doesn't make sense to me.

Inexperience is a virtue. It goes along with buying a new car. The value diminishes once you drive it off the lot.

 

[JustMeSee]

It is very important to have one when making certain sacrifices to avoid impending destruction.

 

[yasic]

Inexperience is a virtue. It goes along with buying a new car. The value diminishes once you drive it off the lot.

Experience is a virtue. It goes along with hiring a new tutor. I would want one that has had experience tutoring before rather than one trying it for the first time.

 

[JustMeSee]

I agree to an extent. I am just explaining the rationale.

 

[David Jerome]

I've never been with a virgin; however, I think it would be cool. I've always loved showing women how to throw a football or shoot a basket. I think it's cute. Being with a virgin, I've always imagined, would be fun.

In my experience, I don't think it matters that much; most men set the tone of a sexual encounter (on average) anyway. Women usually want men to take charge in bed anyway. So really, I don't think female experience really matters.

 

[PassionFruit]

Women usually want men to take charge in bed anyway. So really, I don't think female experience really matters.

Speak for yourself. Besides, there are a lot of men who would like a woman who has experience.

 

[Lion Hearted Man]

Speak for yourself. Besides, there are a lot of men who would like a woman who has experience.

Yeah, and in the words of George Costanza:

"You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten."

 

[golden nugget]

Inexperience is a virtue. It goes along with buying a new car. The value diminishes once you drive it off the lot.

Maybe with a car,but a person's value never diminishes.

 

[Verv]

People like other people that lead lives that are more disciplined.

A person who exercises, studies and has healthy relationships and avoids excess is more universally respected than a person who is gluttonous and abuses mind altering substances and treats their body as a vehicle for base pleasure as opposed to a vehicle for higher levels of enlightenment and accomplishment.

 

[Mling]

Inexperience is a virtue. It goes along with buying a new car. The value diminishes once you drive it off the lot.

People aren't objects--you don't buy them and you don't own them. They don't pop into existence when you meet them and exist primarily for your enjoyment.

 

[Mling]

People like other people that lead lives that are more disciplined.

A person who exercises, studies and has healthy relationships and avoids excess is more universally respected than a person who is gluttonous and abuses mind altering substances and treats their body as a vehicle for base pleasure as opposed to a vehicle for higher levels of enlightenment and accomplishment.

What is excess depends on who is judging. What is base depends on who is judging. And of course, there are plenty of ways to have sex (and lots of it) without it being base, gluttonous or undisciplined. The most sexually active person I know is also the most disciplined--and is specifically the most disciplined with regards to sex.

 

[Mling]

Maybe with a car,but a person's value never diminishes.

I'm not sure I completely agree with the never there, but it certainly doesn't diminish simply by having a life.

I always get really disturbed when people make the "drive it off the lot," comparison to people, because the equivalent moment in humans is either being born or first starting to really make social contact (which happens around 4-6).

It's very troubling to see those moments described as when a person is the most sexually valuable.

 

[David Jerome]

Speak for yourself. Besides, there are a lot of men who would like a woman who has experience.

Please look up the word "usually". Let me know what you find.

 

[Mling]

I've never been with a virgin; however, I think it would be cool. I've always loved showing women how to throw a football or shoot a basket. I think it's cute. Being with a virgin, I've always imagined, would be fun.

In my experience, I don't think it matters that much; most men set the tone of a sexual encounter (on average) anyway. Women usually want men to take charge in bed anyway. So really, I don't think female experience really matters.

What makes you think most women really want that? As opposed to, say, not developing their own interests because they've been raised to think that men are the ones who like sex, so, as a woman, their two options are basically to either say "no," or to learn what their partner likes and give them that?

There are still a shocking number of women who don't have any sense that sex is something they might like. That's not natural. It can't be biological, because it started roughly in the 1700's. In medieval literature women are often described as having strong desire. Sometimes the sexual assumptions are even the opposite of ours--with women being described as strongly desiring sex, and men being so-so and not all that into it.

 

[David Jerome]

What makes you think most women really want that? As opposed to, say, not developing their own interests because they've been raised to think that men are the ones who like sex, so, as a woman, their two options are basically to either say "no," or to learn what their partner likes and give them that?

Huh?

There are still a shocking number of women who don't have any sense that sex is something they might like. That's not natural. It can't be biological, because it started roughly in the 1700's. In medieval literature women are often described as having strong desire. Sometimes the sexual assumptions are even the opposite of ours--with women being described as strongly desiring sex, and men being so-so and not all that into it.

What are you talking about? How does me saying women like men to take the lead translate to women not knowing they might like sex?

 

[RoadWarrior]

I didn't reply to the poll because I have mixed feelings on the question.

Yes, viriginity is important for minors. They are often too immature to make good decisions regarding something that could irrevocably harm their lives such as pregnancy, disease or a mentally scarring situation.

OTOH, the proverbial "40 year old virgin" is placing far too high a premium on their status and, like other ascetics, are denying themselves a life pleasure beyond what is normal and, IMO, healthy.

 

[Mling]

Huh?


What are you talking about? How does me saying women like men to take the lead translate to women not knowing they might like sex?

Because a person who isn't confident in their own desires isn't going to be able to take the lead.

Taking the lead requires you to know.what you want and be able to assert it. Somebody might truly enjoy being a little (or a lot) submissive, and that's one.reason they might want their partner to take the lead; but they also might want that because they don't know what they want, or because the idea of sex being about *their* desire is foreign, unthinkable or uncomfortable.

So when, in the circle of people you're dating, you find that there's a disproportionate number of women who want you to take the lead, that doesn't sound to me like "these women happen to enjoy submitting, sexually"--you wouldnt expect "most" people to fall one way or the other on that. It sounds like this is a crowd of women who need their partner to take the lead because they don't feel comfortable feeling or expressing their desires.