Liberating Motherhood

[Michie]

The feminist slogan of the sixties, "sisterhood is powerful," was not in itself a falsehood, but insofar as it led to an eclipse or a denial of the value of motherhood, it created a great deal of confusion and unhappiness for young women. Whereas the late John Paul II saw motherhood as a fulfillment of women, one collection of feminist essays offers this title: Motherhood: The Annihilation of Women. According to this book, children are simply an enormous burden, and bearing a child is equivalent to being sentenced to twenty years of hard labor.

After all, children interfere with a woman's ability to seek the things that really matter -- prestige, comfort, money, power, a stimulating career -- all the things our culture holds out as the pearls of great price. In addition to pressures of selfishness and the pleasure-principles of our times, women have gradually come to accept the Playboy image of the ideal woman. Women feel they must become what they think men want them to be: young, thin, financially independent, childless, and sexually available, with no interest in commitment. That is, as the magazine's title so shamelessly tells us, the ideal woman is a plaything for men. The willingness of women to accept this dehumanizing view of themselves is truly amazing; some women have even been known to sport T-shirts proclaiming in bold black letters across the front: BOY TOY.

When motherhood becomes a terror for women, and a threat to society, the main thing we must have above all else is reproductive control. "Planned parenthood" isn't just the name of an organization; it has become the deepest moral imperative of modern life. John Paul II acknowledged in his Letter to Families and again in The Gospel of Life that there can be serious reasons to avoid the birth of a child for a time or even indefinitely. There are methods of natural family planning that enable couples to do this very effectively without divorcing the unitive dimension of the marriage act from its procreative dimension. Contraception always separates these two in practice, and over time it has the effect of separating them more and more in one's mind, so that any unplanned pregnancy comes to be seen as a terrible mistake, a failure, a tragedy.

When this mentality combines with the hedonism of our culture, it is inevitable that new life will be seen as the ultimate disaster. A woman's child is suddenly her greatest enemy. Enemy of her health? Rarely. Of her relationships? Sometimes. It may be that the father doesn't welcome his child and doesn't welcome the woman as a mother -- after all, mothers are clearly not toys, and everyone knows it. Is her child the enemy of the mother's career ambitions or of her financial stability? Often, at least to some extent. Of her pursuit of pleasure? Always! Otherwise it wouldn't be possible for radical feminists to find an audience for their work. The feminist author referred to above actually calls for a twenty-year moratorium on having children so that women can get on with more important things in life, unburdened by maternal responsibilities. Another has suggested that "until all women are lesbians, there will be no true political revolution." I guess this means we'll only have one generation of free women, but maybe it's worth it.

What has been forgotten in these calculations is the truth about children. Children are priceless; they are precious beyond measure. Whether we use contraceptives or not, our attitude toward children can so easily be influenced by a hedonistic mentality -- we can fail to welcome children as a gift from God and see them instead, in the well-worn phrase, as simply "another mouth to feed." Pregnancy should be a cause of joy. The birth of a child is meant to be celebrated. Yes, it can be unanticipated; it can even bring a share in the cross; but this should not obscure the fact that the child is a great good, an infinite good. A child's coming-to-be is not just a matter of "reproduction," which can suggest a technical process under our control.

Continued- http://www.insidecatholic.com/feature/liberating-motherhood.html

 

[PilgrimToChrist]

I've always used the term "boy toy" to refer to a younger man that older women ("cougars") go after. That is, a boy who is a toy, not a toy for boys. Hmm....

 

[Sphinx777]

Spoiler: More Beautiful Than Beauty, More Glorious Than Paradise, More Gracious Than Grace...

​

 

[Fantine]

Interesting literary technique--draw a caricature and then attack it.

My only comment about this would be: everything in moderation.

And, once women reach the age of 30 or so, I think that the overwhelming majority have feelings that are much closer to "everything in moderation" than to the caricature the author set up.

 

[Meepy]

Interesting. Feminism has really hurt motherhood in a horrid way. Pope Pius XI stated in one document that the feminist attitude towards the family degrades motherhood and removes the responsibilities of the whole family where materialism is put above family morals, responsibilities, honor, and its foundation.

 

[ChristoEtEcclesiae]

Resist excessive feminism: veil for Mass and don't ever wear pants (if you're a woman).

 

[Fantine]

Resist excessive feminism: veil for Mass and don't ever wear pants (if you're a woman).

Thanks for your opinion.

I will resist attempts to oppress women, and I will encourage other women to do the same.

 

[ChristoEtEcclesiae]

Funny how everything written by St. Paul is holy except when it comes to women veiling and dressing like women. In that case it's an opinion.

 

[Fantine]

In St. Paul's day, even men wore skirts.

Pants can often be more modest than skirts.

So, if you are interested in continuing with Pauline garb, let me know when you want to wear a robe to church and I'll meet you there with a veil.

 

[Meepy]

In St. Paul's day, even men wore skirts.

Pants can often be more modest than skirts.

So, if you are interested in continuing with Pauline garb, let me know when you want to wear a robe to church and I'll meet you there with a veil.

well, men didn't really wear skirts. They wore robes or work tunics. Hebrew and christian, and eventually moslem women wore the veil and a female garment. I think its sad parts of western civilization have thrown away such a wonderful abrahamic tradition and revelation. The Blessed Mother is always shown wearing a veil.

Quilts aren't really skirts pe-se. And the wearing of pants in women didn't happen long after the french revolution. Fish eaters has a great article on it

Veiling

 

[Sphinx777]

 

[Gwendolyn]

Oh yay, the pants debate is back again.

Dresses for women are cultural and they have never been a world-wide standard for modesty in women.

In China, the traditional clothing for women does include pants, and has for centuries upon centuries. That doesn't make Chinese dress immoral because women traditionally wear pants, and women aren't trying to "dress like men" because their traditional clothing has always involved pants.

Women's pants in the West are tailored and cut differently than men's, in a specifically female style. Men do not wear women's pants unless they want to cross-dress.

Dresses are an issue of cultural preference, not an issue of de-facto modesty.

Also, I take issue with the "motherhood is the fulfilment/perfection of women" thing. What does that say about our Saints and monastics? They were not physical mothers; were they "imperfect" women (to use Aquinas' parlance)? Will I never be a "perfect" woman because I cannot bear children?

Last week in Moral Theology we read from Mulieris Dignitatem and I was really upset because one girl went on a rant about how it is sexist and oppressive to say that motherhood is a beautiful thing. She likened it to slavery. Some of us tried to help her understand what JPII meant, but this chick was hell-bent on singing the evils of her misunderstanding of the Church, saying that the Church is sexist, that the Church hates women and wants to keep them oppressed, etc. It was really sad. She isn't Catholic - she's an evangelical.

 

[CruciFixed]

FWIW motherhood is hard work but it is worth it. You can't do everything you "want" but you sacrifice for those you love.

I like pants btw.

 

[Meepy]

Last week in Moral Theology we read from Mulieris Dignitatem and I was really upset because one girl went on a rant about how it is sexist and oppressive to say that motherhood is a beautiful thing. She likened it to slavery. Some of us tried to help her understand what JPII meant, but this chick was hell-bent on singing the evils of her misunderstanding of the Church, saying that the Church is sexist, that the Church hates women and wants to keep them oppressed, etc. It was really sad. She isn't Catholic - she's an evangelical.

welcome to the ideal and mindset of feminism. The woman you describe is a classic example of the damage that feminism has done. It gives them an ideal that will really hurt any future children or marriage they might have. Sounds like this woman gave you a good dose of it.

 

[Fantine]

Such as:

Pregnancy should be a cause of joy. The birth of a child is meant to be celebrated.

If only people with different opinions would listen to one another, so much misunderstanding would end.

What the author said is exactly what Planned Parenthood has said for years. They want pregnancy to be a cause for joy and celebration, too. They feel that this is most likely to occur when it is planned, but that doesn't mean that they don't feel pregnancy shouldn't be a cause for joy and celebration. Attacking a straw man: "Planned Parenthood hates mothers" is so much easier than looking at the reality.

On the other hand, in the good old days, let's say the 1950's, when large families were the norm and I was a kid, I knew lots of mothers of large families who did not "celebrate" and feel "joy" when number 7 or 8 or 9 came along....

They were exhausted, and if they didn't have an army of 10-15 year olds to help them in their chores, they would have collapsed.

I think that even today, most families welcome children and are excited and delighted when one comes along. But they are much more delighted when one comes along and they are ready, willing and able to care for him/her.

 

[Rebekka]

Women's pants in the West are tailored and cut differently than men's, in a specifically female style.

I wish they were! But from my perspective, even the ones with a special women's cut are often designed for a more masculine figure. For people without hips and without a waist. Especially jeans.

Also, I take issue with the "motherhood is the fulfilment/perfection of women" thing. What does that say about our Saints and monastics? They were not physical mothers; were they "imperfect" women (to use Aquinas' parlance)? Will I never be a "perfect" woman because I cannot bear children?

I don't like the fulfilment idea either. I don't have kids, does that mean I'm not a complete woman? Men can be lots of things besides (or instead of) being a father. When men don't have kids it doesn't make them less manly. Because of the focus on motherhood I couldn't get through Mulieris dignitatem.

 

[_Shannon_]

Oh yay! Let's play this game again! More people to tell us how we "should" feel and what we "ought" to wear. Awesome!

 

[CruciFixed]

Such as:

If only people with different opinions would listen to one another, so much misunderstanding would end.

What the author said is exactly what Planned Parenthood has said for years. They want pregnancy to be a cause for joy and celebration, too. They feel that this is most likely to occur when it is planned, but that doesn't mean that they don't feel pregnancy shouldn't be a cause for joy and celebration. Attacking a straw man: "Planned Parenthood hates mothers" is so much easier than looking at the reality.

On the other hand, in the good old days, let's say the 1950's, when large families were the norm and I was a kid, I knew lots of mothers of large families who did not "celebrate" and feel "joy" when number 7 or 8 or 9 came along....

They were exhausted, and if they didn't have an army of 10-15 year olds to help them in their chores, they would have collapsed.

I think that even today, most families welcome children and are excited and delighted when one comes along. But they are much more delighted when one comes along and they are ready, willing and able to care for him/her.

I detest Planned Parenthood...

But I do agree that parenting is a joy and a celebration but sometimes parenting can make you forget the joy. I love my kids but I am not always happy. I was going insane last night wanting to rip the brain from my skull. My 4 month old who is supposed to sleep through the night after having a bowl of cereal didn't sleep until 3 a.m and only stayed asleep for 2 hours at which point he began screaming again. He had been screaming the entire time. Everything we did not a single bit of it worked and I feel like collapsing just from having 2 kids. I guess I am not in every sense open to life. I don't use contraception, I refuse to rely on planned parenthood .....but I practice NFP. I am scared to death to have another child. My husband is not Catholic and he keeps saying he's going to get the big V since I refuse to use birth control of any kind. I told him I cannot consent to that or give my blessing.

Children are a blessing....but they are hard work. Planned or not and all children are planned. God makes the plans. Planned Parenthood chooses to destroy those plans.

 

[CruciFixed]

Oh yay! Let's play this game again! More people to tell us how we "should" feel and what we "ought" to wear. Awesome!

If telling me how I should feel made me feel that way I'd be a better mother over night. I can't always feel how I should.

 

[ChristoEtEcclesiae]

Oh yay! Let's play this game again! More people to tell us how we "should" feel and what we "ought" to wear. Awesome!

Dress up like a man you must and if it really makes you feel more "liberated."