I trust my husband, I just don't trust other women

[ImperialPhantom]

Why do wives say this? I don't get it. Sure, other women can flirt or hit on him but ultimately it takes two to tango, so if he would reject any attempt at a woman hitting on him, doesn't that make said other women irrelevant?

 

[Mayzoo]

Not real sure, I wondered this when I was teen and my mother said a similar comment to me then. "I trust you, I just don't trust "them" "

 

[Captivated]

At the very least I would have thought the implication was that one thought the person they said they trusted was susceptible to being influenced by those they said they didn't.

 

[Singermom]

I agree with ALL of the above posts!

I'll admit to a very nasty jealous streak, and it had taken me YEARS to get that phrase out of my mind. Thankfully my husband has also developed a strong sense of propriety, so he doesn't even risk the APPEARANCE of anything untoward.

About the only time that phrase is relevant is with driving, because no matter how good a driver is, there just may be someone else who will lose control and crash into the good driver.

 

[dorig59]

I agree with the OP. If your spouse deliberately stays out of & away from such situations then there will be no problem.

 

[Conservativation]

Its not a real comment. I will go so far as to say its a lie. In fact its either a lie, or its nonsense, because lets walk it thru

So, 2 of "the others" have sex with, what? ....each OTHER? THAT worries her? eh.....

Or that "the others" will seduce YOU? which means YOU get seduced, which means it IS about YOU. At the end of an affair, a one nighter, who approached who will be a detail shared and asked indeed, but it will not sway the emotions very much if at all...so its irrelevant

Im left with, its a lie

 

[bored]

unless she is worried about another woman using a syringe to knock him out and rape him lol. Of course guys are harder to rape than women because men have to be aroused. Or if her husband is not very physically strong and could be over powered by a woman.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Just because a woman trusts that her husband won't act or react inappropriately doesn't mean other women aren't going to hit on him. You can easily replace woman with man and husband with wife.

To me, the statement simply means that it's best not to put yourself in a situation where you have to reject or avoid advances being made on you - such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex in a less than public setting or going to a bar or club without your spouse where there is a higher probability of a member of the opposite sex paying attention to you.

 

[bored]

Just because a woman trusts that her husband won't act or react inappropriately doesn't mean other women aren't going to hit on him. You can easily replace woman with man and husband with wife.

To me, the statement simply means that it's best not to put yourself in a situation where you have to reject or avoid advances being made on you - such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex in a less than public setting or going to a bar or club without your spouse where there is a higher probability of a member of the opposite sex paying attention to you.

Isent this common sense?

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Just because a woman trusts that her husband won't act or react inappropriately doesn't mean other women aren't going to hit on him. You can easily replace woman with man and husband with wife.

To me, the statement simply means that it's best not to put yourself in a situation where you have to reject or avoid advances being made on you - such as being alone with a member of the opposite sex in a less than public setting or going to a bar or club without your spouse where there is a higher probability of a member of the opposite sex paying attention to you.

But how does that equate to not trusting other women when other women's advances on your husband would just all be rejected? If someone has a proven track record of having female friends, but being completely trustworthy around said female friends, or going out to bars and clubs but being totally trustworthy at said bars or clubs, then I don't see why what they could potentially do would make a difference.

 

[blythe_ann]

I've never heard that comment in context of marriage before. Strange the things I learn here! And only on TV when teens are dating or something have I heard something similar (I think...). But it doesn't make any sense to me. But Singermom made a good point, it makes sense with driving, though!

 

[FaithPrevails]

But how does that equate to not trusting other women when other women's advances on your husband would just all be rejected? If someone has a proven track record of having female friends, but being completely trustworthy around said female friends, or going out to bars and clubs but being totally trustworthy at said bars or clubs, then I don't see why what they could potentially do would make a difference.

I trust my husband to respect boundaries where other women are concerned. I don't trust other women to respect boundaries where my husband is concerned. That doesn't mean I want him to be put in positions where he would have to reject the advances. It's simply a personal preference.

A great example - when my husband and I were dating, we went out dancing with a few friends one night. My girlfriend and I stayed on the dance floor while my husband and his buddy went into the bar area to get some drinks. As they came back out to the dance area, I was watching him. He was talking to his buddy and didn't know I was looking at him. Out of nowhere, a gorgeous girl stepped up to my husband and put her hand on his shoulder and started trying to dance with him. He jerked away from her hand like it was acid and immediately shook his head no and pointed at me. She actually looked over at me and waved/smiled a little apology. I waved/smiled back and the moment was over.

Obviously, I can trust that my husband isn't going to even remotely entertain another woman's attention. But, that doesn't mean I enjoyed the scene that played out and I definitely don't want to think he might be out somewhere and have something like that happen again.

Yes, it's flattering to know that other women find him attractive. No, I don't want them mewing and pawing at him.

Then again, I used get pretty over guys pawing at me. So, maybe it's just a personal space/territory issue for me.

 

[Singermom]

Faith, you were fortunate that the woman respected you, at least a little.

One time my WH and I were walking along a beach. It was one of those rare moments when he was walking with his arm around me. Coming towards us was a very tall, slender, knockout blonde in a leopard-print bikini. When she crossed our path, she reached out to...oh, how can I put this delicately..."goose" him, but from the front.

Thankfully he saw it coming and twisted his hip a little.

What she didn't know was that he had come out of his law enforcement firearm recertification, and his firearm was under his light jacket. Instead of grabbing his...um...you know...she grabbed his HOLSTER!

She jumped about a foot and went on her merry way.

It still angered me that she would be so bold as to make a move on him like that when I wasn't just walking next to him, but he had his arm around me!

 

[dallasapple]

I agree with the ones that are saying if you trust him ..then trusting or not trusting other women is a moot point as far as anythig happening thats wrong on HIS part.

That doesnt even make any sense to even say it as far as Im concerned.Its almost like..saying ..I trust my friends..its everybody else in the world that isnt my friend I dont trust..And the point is?

Love

Dallas

 

[dallasapple]

Faith, you were fortunate that the woman respected you, at least a little.

One time my WH and I were walking along a beach. It was one of those rare moments when he was walking with his arm around me. Coming towards us was a very tall, slender, knockout blonde in a leopard-print bikini. When she crossed our path, she reached out to...oh, how can I put this delicately..."goose" him, but from the front.

Thankfully he saw it coming and twisted his hip a little.

What she didn't know was that he had come out of his law enforcement firearm recertification, and his firearm was under his light jacket. Instead of grabbing his...um...you know...she grabbed his HOLSTER!

She jumped about a foot and went on her merry way.

It still angered me that she would be so bold as to make a move on him like that when I wasn't just walking next to him, but he had his arm around me!

Ack! As far as Im concerned I would think that woman was a kook.I would seriously wonder what was wrong with her and feel sorry for her.

But thats the point.Not trusting every rank stranger woman on earth pretty much has nothign to do with havign to be worried or concerned your going to be betrayed by your spouse..if you trust them ..

I know for a fact women hit on my husband..I cant be concerned with that or I would be a paranoid mess ...I have to leave it up to him..When I've been concerned were times I couldnt trust him and I knew it.

Men hit on me too..thats just the way the world goes round.

Love

Dallas

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Haha wow. She sounds like a crazy person.

Faith, you were fortunate that the woman respected you, at least a little.

One time my WH and I were walking along a beach. It was one of those rare moments when he was walking with his arm around me. Coming towards us was a very tall, slender, knockout blonde in a leopard-print bikini. When she crossed our path, she reached out to...oh, how can I put this delicately..."goose" him, but from the front.

Thankfully he saw it coming and twisted his hip a little.

What she didn't know was that he had come out of his law enforcement firearm recertification, and his firearm was under his light jacket. Instead of grabbing his...um...you know...she grabbed his HOLSTER!

She jumped about a foot and went on her merry way.

It still angered me that she would be so bold as to make a move on him like that when I wasn't just walking next to him, but he had his arm around me!

 

[Conservativation]

Faith, you were fortunate that the woman respected you, at least a little.

One time my WH and I were walking along a beach. It was one of those rare moments when he was walking with his arm around me. Coming towards us was a very tall, slender, knockout blonde in a leopard-print bikini. When she crossed our path, she reached out to...oh, how can I put this delicately..."goose" him, but from the front.

Thankfully he saw it coming and twisted his hip a little.

What she didn't know was that he had come out of his law enforcement firearm recertification, and his firearm was under his light jacket. Instead of grabbing his...um...you know...she grabbed his HOLSTER!

She jumped about a foot and went on her merry way.

It still angered me that she would be so bold as to make a move on him like that when I wasn't just walking next to him, but he had his arm around me!

I guess thats a good place to wear your holster. Talk about "concealed carry"....or, she was anatomy challenged

 

[Conservativation]

I agree with the ones that are saying if you trust him ..then trusting or not trusting other women is a moot point as far as anythig happening thats wrong on HIS part.

That doesnt even make any sense to even say it as far as Im concerned.Its almost like..saying ..I trust my friends..its everybody else in the world that isnt my friend I dont trust..And the point is?

Love

Dallas

The point is nothing, literally using those words. Thats why i say its dishonest, its a cute way to say I dont trust you. If someone was worried about everyone else, then unless the man works alone in an astronomy lab, she will be "worried" all the time.
Funny how she would worry about "everyone else" at certain times.

Anyway, translated is "I dont trust you to brush off the advances of others"

Thats what it means

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Long before I was married, I made up my mind that if my future husband was ever with another woman, she could have him. I've seen both real-life and on-screen depictions of a woman catching her husband being unfaithful, and then baring her fangs and claws, she hisses, "He's MINE!" and goes after the other woman. It never made sense to me. What if he told her he wasn't married? She might not know. But HE knows.

This was put to the test. My first husband left me for another woman. I came right out and told her I didn't hold her responsible for "stealing" him. A human being is not an inanimate object. He knew what he was doing, and he knew where he wanted to be.

The OP is right that "I trust you; I don't trust them," makes no logical sense.

But having experienced it, the one that gets me is when a woman feels insecure about her boyfriend/fiancé/husband's tendency to be faithful, and he shames her with, "If you love me, you'll trust me. Without trust, it isn't love." And then he goes out and cheats.

 

[Conservativation]

The things that lead to cheating, character flaw of the cheater,marital issues, whatever, wont be deterred or avoided by zero tolerance policy statements, jealous overbearing rules, etc. Im not sure if there is anything that makes it iron clad.
So, meanwhile making like miserable for the jealous one and the other one with this undercurrent is making the perfect the enemy of the good