- Apr 11, 2005
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I decided to review the vows of matrimony because there have been links to sites stating that a woman wanting affection is a sign of abuse.
Which puzzled me... and i finally decided that this was a modern day problem.
For a man to find his wifes needs as abuse is really strange.
Especially in light of scriptures and the vows they take on the wedding day...
Many men today think they are an island unto themselves and they should not have a clinging wife??
I suppose thats what they mean ..feeling abused because a woman 'needs' too much attention and affection?
That kind of seemed like a strange defect to teach society that wives are abusive if they seek and need their emotional needs to be met. Do men forget women are emotional..?
Anyway - here is cherishing a wife and loving her - that will give great cause and effect in a marriage if men were to pay strict attention to what the vows really mean.
Meet Your Wife's Need to Feel Cherished
Give her what she really wants. Once you have created a healthy friendship with your woman, take your relationship to the next level by giving her what she really wants -- to be your highest priority. Being your highest priority means that you have a sincere regard for her happiness, and you make her feelings more important than those of your friends, your mother, your co-worker, a stranger, etc. For a woman to be willing to 'do anything for you', she must see that you are willing to 'do anything for her'. She won't be willing to sacrifice her comfort for you unless she knows you understand her and will take care of her needs, even at personal sacrifice. Learn your part. She'll do hers.
Need her. A woman needs to be needed by her man. You may have been a fully functional independent individual before she came into your life. Now, however, she needs you to need her. She won't feel like a complete woman until she knows that you do. Think of the many things that she does for you, how she supports you in difficult times, how she makes you a more complete person. Then open up and share these thoughts and feelings with her. She will feel closer to you for it. Learn to share your feelings, happy and sad, with her regularly. Let her know your hopes and dreams. Let her be happy with you in your accomplishments, and sad with you in your disappointments. You will both benefit.
Be a true husband. She is your wife, the mother of your children. You chose her as the woman you would die for, the woman you would give your life to, the one who would be your best friend. ....etc
Relationship Needs: Love Needs of Husband and Wife
To Feel Cherished. Every man and woman needs to be the best friend and highest earthly priority of his or her mate. To have this need met is to feel cherished. As your mate's husband or wife, you are the only one who is in a position to fully meet this need. Your mate must be your first priority if your marriage is to be all that it can be. The needs of your mate must be more important to you than those of your friends, family, work, hobbies, or children.
Cherish: to hold dear; to embrace with interest. -- Webster Dictionary, 1913
Cherishing your mate means holding them dear and being absolutely faithful to your marriage -- not only physically, but also emotionally. Your mate needs to be the center of your world, and to be seen by you as the most desirable thing in the world. You cannot meet this need if your heart is beholden to someone or something else -- whether it be a friend, family member or pet, drugs or alcohol, hobbies or sports, work, fantasy, or erotica. Free yourself of any addiction, and from any substitute for or diversion from real human love. Only as you demonstrate your absolute fidelity, can your mate trust you sufficiently to freely give himself or herself to you.
In fact, we all have the power to redeem and save at least one life by choosing him or her and making that person feel wanted and special throughout life. This is the beauty of marriage and why it is so central to human life. . . . Marriage is a simple statement your beloved finding you so special and unique that they would rather spend the vast majority of their remaining time on this earth with you than with any other person. -- Shmuley Boteach
Cherish: to treat with tenderness and affection; to nurture with care; to protect and aid. -- Ultralingua English Dictionary
Cherishing your mate means tenderly caring for them and helping them to feel and be safe. Safety is a fundamental need of any human relationship. For romance to thrive, each spouse must feel safe from physical, financial, social, emotional, and spiritual harm, both from within the relationship and from outside forces. Each must also feel that the marital relationship is safe and secure..etc
Which puzzled me... and i finally decided that this was a modern day problem.
For a man to find his wifes needs as abuse is really strange.
Especially in light of scriptures and the vows they take on the wedding day...
Many men today think they are an island unto themselves and they should not have a clinging wife??
I suppose thats what they mean ..feeling abused because a woman 'needs' too much attention and affection?
That kind of seemed like a strange defect to teach society that wives are abusive if they seek and need their emotional needs to be met. Do men forget women are emotional..?
Anyway - here is cherishing a wife and loving her - that will give great cause and effect in a marriage if men were to pay strict attention to what the vows really mean.
Meet Your Wife's Need to Feel Cherished
Give her what she really wants. Once you have created a healthy friendship with your woman, take your relationship to the next level by giving her what she really wants -- to be your highest priority. Being your highest priority means that you have a sincere regard for her happiness, and you make her feelings more important than those of your friends, your mother, your co-worker, a stranger, etc. For a woman to be willing to 'do anything for you', she must see that you are willing to 'do anything for her'. She won't be willing to sacrifice her comfort for you unless she knows you understand her and will take care of her needs, even at personal sacrifice. Learn your part. She'll do hers.
Need her. A woman needs to be needed by her man. You may have been a fully functional independent individual before she came into your life. Now, however, she needs you to need her. She won't feel like a complete woman until she knows that you do. Think of the many things that she does for you, how she supports you in difficult times, how she makes you a more complete person. Then open up and share these thoughts and feelings with her. She will feel closer to you for it. Learn to share your feelings, happy and sad, with her regularly. Let her know your hopes and dreams. Let her be happy with you in your accomplishments, and sad with you in your disappointments. You will both benefit.
Be a true husband. She is your wife, the mother of your children. You chose her as the woman you would die for, the woman you would give your life to, the one who would be your best friend. ....etc
Relationship Needs: Love Needs of Husband and Wife
To Feel Cherished. Every man and woman needs to be the best friend and highest earthly priority of his or her mate. To have this need met is to feel cherished. As your mate's husband or wife, you are the only one who is in a position to fully meet this need. Your mate must be your first priority if your marriage is to be all that it can be. The needs of your mate must be more important to you than those of your friends, family, work, hobbies, or children.
Cherish: to hold dear; to embrace with interest. -- Webster Dictionary, 1913
Cherishing your mate means holding them dear and being absolutely faithful to your marriage -- not only physically, but also emotionally. Your mate needs to be the center of your world, and to be seen by you as the most desirable thing in the world. You cannot meet this need if your heart is beholden to someone or something else -- whether it be a friend, family member or pet, drugs or alcohol, hobbies or sports, work, fantasy, or erotica. Free yourself of any addiction, and from any substitute for or diversion from real human love. Only as you demonstrate your absolute fidelity, can your mate trust you sufficiently to freely give himself or herself to you.
In fact, we all have the power to redeem and save at least one life by choosing him or her and making that person feel wanted and special throughout life. This is the beauty of marriage and why it is so central to human life. . . . Marriage is a simple statement your beloved finding you so special and unique that they would rather spend the vast majority of their remaining time on this earth with you than with any other person. -- Shmuley Boteach
Cherish: to treat with tenderness and affection; to nurture with care; to protect and aid. -- Ultralingua English Dictionary
Cherishing your mate means tenderly caring for them and helping them to feel and be safe. Safety is a fundamental need of any human relationship. For romance to thrive, each spouse must feel safe from physical, financial, social, emotional, and spiritual harm, both from within the relationship and from outside forces. Each must also feel that the marital relationship is safe and secure..etc
I couldn't help myself.
