Romance Novels = Porn?

[dinonum]

One neednt THINK of RM's AS porn, to say they have the same EFFECT as porn


One reason women cling to the notion "there is a difference" is plainly because dont you know....women are good. Men are not. Nuff said

I watch regular porn. I've read romance novels. While the effect can be similar, they are not the same.

Song of Solomon is considered to be a biblical version of a romance novel, speaking about physical and spiritual love. For some it can lead to unmet expectations that equate to the effects that porn has on some, but Song of Solomon is not porn.

 

[jham123]

It's amazing....so many women in complete denial.....

So as long as men continue to deny that porn is bad....that makes it so?

Women....almost 100% in unison are trying to maintain that RMs aren't bad....and almost 100% of the men maintain that it is bothersome to their marriage....

So I guess as long as the men claim that Porn isn't bad..the women should just shut up about it....

Makes total sense to me.....

 

[dinonum]

Porn isn't bad merely because of the effect on a married relationship.

 

[LJSGM]

It's absurd to say that romance novels are sinful.

What about pride and prejudice? that was written in the victorian era, the age of "innocence." Is that a sinful thing to read too?

 

[dinonum]

That's the big issue above, not all Romance Novels contain these outrageous ideas:

His fear/anger/utter confusion comes from the following:
- Alejandro is lots of money to take his women on weekend shopping sprees in Paris.
- Alejandro is an exotic foreign import with an accent.
- Alejandro has 6% body fat and runs 10 miles every day before the sun comes up.
- Alejandro wears fine designer clothing and is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
- Alejandro has a 9" member and endless stamina.

All pornography contains sexual acts and/or is meant to contain something SEXUALLY provacative.

 

[LJSGM]

That's the big issue above, not all Romance Novels contain these outrageous ideas:

Well, Mr Darcy was rich and handsome!

 

[dinonum]

Well, Mr Darcy was rich and handsome!

Lol, but I've laso read another romance novel where the man was poor. What the harm in a good looking guy though? My husband is super hot IMO

 

[dallasapple]

Romance novels can make your mind wander...Just like yogurt man can..

Love

Dallas

 

[Romanseight2005]

Yeah I think romance novels need to be specific. because there are huge differences between harlequin romances, and Wifey, and Twilight.My husband and son like Twilight. I like vampire movies, so it's a good mix for us. But since I find my husband to be the most enticing , and handsome man, seeing children with their shirts off isn't exciting me, or my son and husband. There is a story that we all enjoy. I know there are people who weird out over the characters, but I don't get it. I like vampire stories, period. There are romances though that get very graphic into the sex lives of their characters. I would put those on a similar level as porn,Why? Because reading about them could easily lead a person into masturbation, so that would be on the porn level, However dramas where some people oh and ah over the actors is not on the same level as the pornographic novel. Does this make sense?

 

[moonkitty]

It's absurd to say that romance novels are sinful.

What about pride and prejudice? that was written in the victorian era, the age of "innocence." Is that a sinful thing to read too?

There isn't a modern romance writer today who can hold a candle to Jane Austen. (And Mr. Darcy is deliciously sinful though I am more of a Colonel Brandon kind of gal.)


As to the original topic at hand--anything taken too far can be bad. Anyone who read a romance novel and really believes that real life should be like that is silly. I do not know what is sillier, a woman who believes that real life should be like a romance novel or men who believes that all women who read said books thinks that real life should be like that.

I've read the occasional romance books, they're what I call a "beach book" Something fun and light to read while lounging at the beach or by the pool. But I do not expect my husband or my life to be like that. I married my husband, not a fictional character.

But oh well, the big strong men in here who are so much more intelligent than my poor, weak female brain could ever understand has said that it is so. I guess I should stop reading them or else the divorce lawyer will be showing up on my doorstep any minute now. Shucks, I guess I should play it safe and not read anything at all unless my hubby approves it for me.

 

[moonkitty]

Romance novels can make your mind wander...Just like yogurt man can..

Love

Dallas

Ok, who is this yogurt man everyone is drooling over?

 

[Conservativation]

That's the big issue above, not all Romance Novels contain these outrageous ideas:



All pornography contains sexual acts and/or is meant to contain something SEXUALLY provacative.

Correct. But let me tell what they really do all contain...if there are some that dont, they wont sell

They contain a male protagonist created by a female author. This man IS the refelction back of the mind of a woman, he knows EXACTLY what to say and when...he knows when to push...he knows when not to push...he knows when to empathize and when to jump in and act to solve problems. he is "the ideal man"....and before you add "but he also has flaws" yep.....amd ebenm the flaws are designed to be the right kind of flaws that even THEY can be alluring...perhaps he needs to be tamed....or perhaps he is MEEK and needs her to draw out the more manly man...whatever...a million different things.....

He IS another image, titillating, and dont confuse this with it having to be sex. In fact I say its not about the sex. Here you see womens emotional needs trumping the physical sexual need...so the issue with the novel isnt sex...its that the dude meets her MAIN need....some just right like 3 bears porridge emotional balance, a mind reader, a sacrificial leader , whatever...he is something the husband is not.

Dont think for a minute its innocent JUST because its not the sex. ANYTHING that creates a seperate ideal in marriage that you can see , is a possible problem.

Its not some silly simplistic thing like always gets reflected back. Women ares reading this and literally instantly swooning and saying OH if my husb could be that way....

its FAR more subtle, and not overt...but it CAN EASILY be there.

During some of the toughest times in my marriage my wife would tell me while she wasnt having an affair, she DID have this image of the ideal man in her mind...not from romance books. hers what was insidious about hers, it was based on how preachers described a man SHOULD be. Thats why im sensitive to the expectations the churches teachings on men build.

 

[jham123]

There isn't a modern romance writer today who can hold a candle to Jane Austen. (And Mr. Darcy is deliciously sinful though I am more of a Colonel Brandon kind of gal.)


As to the original topic at hand--anything taken too far can be bad. Anyone who read a romance novel and really believes that real life should be like that is silly. I do not know what is sillier, a woman who believes that real life should be like a romance novel or men who believes that all women who read said books thinks that real life should be like that.

I've read the occasional romance books, they're what I call a "beach book" Something fun and light to read while lounging at the beach or by the pool. But I do not expect my husband or my life to be like that. I married my husband, not a fictional character.

But oh well, the big strong men in here who are so much more intelligent than my poor, weak female brain could ever understand has said that it is so. I guess I should stop reading them or else the divorce lawyer will be showing up on my doorstep any minute now. Shucks, I guess I should play it safe and not read anything at all unless my hubby approves it for me.

Your attempt to ridicule and at humor comes across as nothing lest that a Female Chauvinistic sexist at work.

You, my dear, illustrate my point that there are tons of sexist women here at CF. Thanks, you make my work easy...and just for example.....

"As to the original topic at hand--anything taken too far can be bad. Anyone who watches Pornography and really believes that real life should be like that is silly. I do not know what is sillier, a man who believes that real life should be like a porn flick or women who believes that all men who watch said Pron thinks that real life should be like that."

 

[jham123]

They contain a male protagonist created by a female author. This man IS the refelction back of the mind of a woman, he knows EXACTLY what to say and when...he knows when to push...he knows when not to push...he knows when to empathize and when to jump in and act to solve problems. he is "the ideal man"....and before you add "but he also has flaws" yep.....amd ebenm the flaws are designed to be the right kind of flaws that even THEY can be alluring...perhaps he needs to be tamed....or perhaps he is MEEK and needs her to draw out the more manly man...whatever...a million different things.....

He IS another image, titillating, and dont confuse this with it having to be sex.

See, you can understand.....you do have the capacity to comprehend...

Now.....since men like Sex, and women like emotions......you have just pointed out the EXACT theory of the entire thread.

For men it visual
For women it is emotional

So....when you come away from you denial, and really take a look at what is found 3 feet above the bathroom basin.....maybe then we can have a rational discussion without ridicule and Sexism.......

 

[Conservativation]

See, you can understand.....you do have the capacity to comprehend...

Now.....since men like Sex, and women like emotions......you have just pointed out the EXACT theory of the entire thread.

For men it visual
For women it is emotional

So....when you come away from you denial, and really take a look at what is found 3 feet above the bathroom basin.....maybe then we can have a rational discussion without ridicule and Sexism.......

Uh, why are you lecturing me?

 

[Conservativation]

It's absurd to say that romance novels are sinful.

What about pride and prejudice? that was written in the victorian era, the age of "innocence." Is that a sinful thing to read too?

I didnt catch it said that romance novels are sinful.

I didnt see it stated that EVERY SINGLE romance novel is even a problem.

The posited claim is RM's CAN BE harmful in an analogous way to porn.

Thats all.


I do have to ask....how many women are comfortable if their husband had a collection of modestly dressed, no tight cloths, fully covered, totally modest, pictures of beautiful women he liked to look at?

 

[jham123]

Uh, why are you lecturing me?

LOL...I'm an idiot.....I scrolled too fast and thought that was Moonkitty....seriously I'm an idiot for that one.

It was early and I had only had 1/2 a cup of coffee...

 

[JanniGirl]

The whole idea that men are visual and that they therefore are not aroused by words or emotions is kinda absurd. Men like hot talk in the bedroom as much as women do.

The idea that what cultivates arousal in women is purely (or even mostly) emotional is also absurd. Women like the muscles and a good head of hair on a guy.

Both men and women like a good "love" story. The ideal is a man and a woman fall in love and treat each other with tenderness, respect, and then they form a union. -- Actually, that's kind of Biblical, isn't it?

Graphic sexual material, whether it be visual or words on a page is inappropriate. It does nothing to promote the bond described in marriage.

Porn is always bad. Always. It has no redeemable moral value.

Romance Novels can be good if they depict the christian development of a relationship that mirrors what God would have us be as husband & wife.

Romance Novels can be bad if they are sexual in nature and have no redeemable moral value.

BTW: I know a lady who said the Twilight books were too tame (only kissing and no "action"). She turned to soft-core porn novels (and named them as such) which are graphic in their descriptions. That's porn. Porn=sin.

 

[Conservativation]

The whole idea that men are visual and that they therefore are not aroused by words or emotions is kinda absurd. Men like hot talk in the bedroom as much as women do.

The idea that what cultivates arousal in women is purely (or even mostly) emotional is also absurd. Women like the muscles and a good head of hair on a guy.

Both men and women like a good "love" story. The ideal is a man and a woman fall in love and treat each other with tenderness, respect, and then they form a union. -- Actually, that's kind of Biblical, isn't it?

Graphic sexual material, whether it be visual or words on a page is inappropriate. It does nothing to promote the bond described in marriage.

Porn is always bad. Always. It has no redeemable moral value.

Romance Novels can be good if they depict the christian development of a relationship that mirrors what God would have us be as husband & wife.

Romance Novels can be bad if they are sexual in nature and have no redeemable moral value.

BTW: I know a lady who said the Twilight books were too tame (only kissing and no "action"). She turned to soft-core porn novels (and named them as such) which are graphic in their descriptions. That's porn. Porn=sin.

But 99% of what you seem to be refuting hasnt been asserted here.

No one said RN's are ALWAYS bad
No one sais that porn is SOMETIMES good
No one said men are not aroused by words
No one said women are ONLY aroused by emotions

What causes so much inference?

Women will absolutely CLING to this notion and I will tell you why.

Women CANNOT get their minds around the fact that men are not innately worse than women. As long as they can hang sex sexuality, porn whatever on mens necks, men stay on their heels in the realm of morality, and women stay more pristine.

FACT....an innocent romance story with NO SEX can create a problem


PLEASE GET THIS!!!!! Its NOT about the SEX in the books!

I know its easier if it was about sex, because then men lose that argument because we are so "bad" in that area. So you keep comparing the SEX in the books to porn. Thats NOT THE POINT!


I dont care if you disagree....but please take the time to see what you are disagreeing WITH. It gets to the point of disrespectful when we have to repeat ad nauseum what we are saying.



Would you mind if your husband had pics of women's faces only and enjoyed looking at them?

I know the answer.....yes...hes a man...he is still thinking of sex....

 

[Conservativation]

The "Christian Romance novel" is just as bad.

That the single gal and guy remain chaste is irrelevant....the reader sees things in the man that are appealing. In fact Id say for Christian women they may be even MORE dangerous.