I am an avid fan of psychology and sociology, and although I am about to be 21 (still young), I have been intrigued by couples, dating, and relationships for a while now. I did a lot of research and looked at cases of happy couples, unhappy couples, and couples that might think they are happy but really aren't. I really wanted to find out what made a good relationship, and what made a bad relationship, and if it was harder for some people than others.
I determined that a relationship was almost like a cake. There are many different types of relationships, such as relationships built on different hobbies, beliefs, music choice, etc. much like how cakes have different flavors, but overall, it's still built from the same basic ingredients. Whenever I see a couple that is happy, it's because they have all the ingredients needed to make that relationships work. For example:
To make a great relationship it takes dedication, love, communication, honesty, balance, independence, confidence, emotional openness, empathy, and a sense of humor.
I believe a relationship without one of those key parts is an unhealthy relationship, much like a cake with a missing ingredient. Could you imagine eating a cake with no sugar? No flour? No eggs? No butter? It would taste bad. It wouldn't taste like how a cake is supposed to taste. You might even add frosting (sex), and it would make it sweeter, but it still wouldn't hide the taste of the missing ingredients. If you made a new computer, but you forgot to put in one part, it wouldn't work. If you got a new deck of cards, but a couple were missing, it wouldn't be a very good deck of cards.
My whole point is, why should a relationship be different from any of the things I mentioned? A relationship can still function without one or two of those components, but it won't be as good as it could be. That requires hard work and effort on both members of the relationship, throughout your life! Remember that part! Some people get divorced after 5 years, some 15 years, and some 30 years! Why does it happen? They say they lost the spark, but it's not that at all. It's that they stopped trying. You could study and get good grades your entire life all the way up to the last semester of college and then decide, "Everything is great! No need to study anymore, I'm just going to live my life" but then you get D's and you get F's. You wonder how it happened, but don't realize that you stopped working for it.
You could work on your relationship for 20 years, then stop and think that the passion is gone, but it's more that they stopped caring. They stopped making that extra effort to say "I love you" in the morning before they leaved. He doesn't write her a little note and put it in her brief case so when she opens it at her depressing work place, she sees "You are the most special person in my life". She doesn't cook his favorite meal anymore because "it's too much work, and I'm too tired", even though he thought she made it because it was a sign of how she loved him. The little things are what build relationships, and they're also what tear them apart.
Just my opinion! Any thoughts? I hope I reached some people with this as well.
I determined that a relationship was almost like a cake. There are many different types of relationships, such as relationships built on different hobbies, beliefs, music choice, etc. much like how cakes have different flavors, but overall, it's still built from the same basic ingredients. Whenever I see a couple that is happy, it's because they have all the ingredients needed to make that relationships work. For example:
To make a great relationship it takes dedication, love, communication, honesty, balance, independence, confidence, emotional openness, empathy, and a sense of humor.
I believe a relationship without one of those key parts is an unhealthy relationship, much like a cake with a missing ingredient. Could you imagine eating a cake with no sugar? No flour? No eggs? No butter? It would taste bad. It wouldn't taste like how a cake is supposed to taste. You might even add frosting (sex), and it would make it sweeter, but it still wouldn't hide the taste of the missing ingredients. If you made a new computer, but you forgot to put in one part, it wouldn't work. If you got a new deck of cards, but a couple were missing, it wouldn't be a very good deck of cards.
My whole point is, why should a relationship be different from any of the things I mentioned? A relationship can still function without one or two of those components, but it won't be as good as it could be. That requires hard work and effort on both members of the relationship, throughout your life! Remember that part! Some people get divorced after 5 years, some 15 years, and some 30 years! Why does it happen? They say they lost the spark, but it's not that at all. It's that they stopped trying. You could study and get good grades your entire life all the way up to the last semester of college and then decide, "Everything is great! No need to study anymore, I'm just going to live my life" but then you get D's and you get F's. You wonder how it happened, but don't realize that you stopped working for it.
You could work on your relationship for 20 years, then stop and think that the passion is gone, but it's more that they stopped caring. They stopped making that extra effort to say "I love you" in the morning before they leaved. He doesn't write her a little note and put it in her brief case so when she opens it at her depressing work place, she sees "You are the most special person in my life". She doesn't cook his favorite meal anymore because "it's too much work, and I'm too tired", even though he thought she made it because it was a sign of how she loved him. The little things are what build relationships, and they're also what tear them apart.
Just my opinion! Any thoughts? I hope I reached some people with this as well.
