Fasting with children

[heart of peace]

It's been a few years since I've done the entire Lenten fast. I'm a little nervous especially since my son will still be eating meat and dairy throughout. I plan on introducing him to things like rice milk, veggie burgers, etc only on Fridays perhaps for now since he's only 4 1/2. How old were your children before you actively involved them in a full fast for Pascha? I wonder if I'm underestimating him. I'm nervous for me as I don't particularly like eating vegan and it may be hard for me to have to handle meat and dairy for my son and not be able to eat/drink it. This will be my first time as a parent to fast the entire time as I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last few years. If you are a parent, do you fast but your children do not? What is that like for you?

Thanks for any help/suggestions you have to offer

 

[Khaleas]

Don't have any kids but Father's kids didn't start fasting until they were school age although they were asking earlier and then they'd do a meal here and there. They still eat dairy and meat but he said they've started fasting from meat and dairy on Wed and Fri. They are 9 and 11. I don't think he really advocate strict fasting for anyone who is still growing other than what they want to do themselves (usually a meal a day or so from what I've heard). It's important that kids can have the energy to grow and play like normal. I know the boys also give alms of some sort from their allowance or do some sort of project.
Personally I wouldn't force anything on him unless he asks to do something himself. I think him getting a positive view on fasting and get him interested in doing so himself at the age he is.
It's a 'game' of will. We have meat and such around at home. Just a defrost away, chocolate is around.
I'd say it's an AYP.

 

[MariaRegina]

Sorry to be off topic: My eyes are getting tired. At first glance, I read the title as: Fasting with chickens.

 

[Monica child of God 1]

I was Orthodox for 4 years before my son converted. He was 11 when I was chrismated. During those four years, I did introduce him to fasting and the fasting seasons. I wasn't strict with him or anything, but I made Lenten foods for us to share. After it became clear that he was getting more interested in being Orthodox, I suggested that he begin really keeping the fasts on Wednesdays and Fridays during Great Lent. He took to it well, even denying himself special things like pizza lunch rewards at school.

It wasn't particularly hard when he chose to eat non-Lenten foods on fast days, but I didn't usually cook those dishes for him. He would go for ice-cream from the freezer or make himself a hot dog.

You could make dishes where the non-Lenten parts are added at the table. Like baked potatoes (he tops his with cheese and sour cream, you put cubes of cooked tofu and salsa). Or do two dishes of enchiladas, both vegetarian on the inside (beans, rice, veggies) with enchilada sauce and top his with cheese. Vegetarian foods can be yummy and just as nutritious for kids as meat and dairy foods. You might want to help him develop a taste for Lenten foods now so that it is more palatable for him later.

M.

 

[cobweb]

Mine are 7 and 10, but they are recent converts. Neither really fast although I do encourage them to eat a lot of peanut butter or grilled cheese sandwiches instead of meat.

The oldest switches to cheese pizza during major fasts. (Because of his special needs, pizza is one of the few foods he is willing to eat.) We also don't have things like icecream in the house during those times.

That is about the only difference for the kids.

 

[Kristos]

what do chickens do in Russia during Lent?

 

[cobweb]

what do chickens do in Russia during Lent?

I'm assuming that they peck corn and lay eggs, just like they do here.

 

[Dorothea]

My boys are 10 and 7. They kinda fast with us. But that would be from red meat most of the lenten period for them. At times I give them chicken nuggets every couple weeks. They usually do well on the boca soy products as a substitute. I don't fast from fish or dairy, so they eat kinda my diet. My husband is the one that is able to do the regular lenten diet with no meats of any kind and dairy. My boys love shrimp so that works well during the lenten period, too.

 

[heart of peace]

So, maybe I am being a bit too much for an almost 5 year old? I suppose it would be good to just let him take the lead for now and explain when he asks why I am not eating certain things that I normally do. Thanks again for your replies, it helps me gauge things more clearly in respect to other families.

 

[Dorothea]

Well, imo, yeah, you don't have to start your boy off fasting at age 5 - an early age. My priest started telling us (husband and I) for our oldest to start to work on helping him fast and to try to have him eat very little 3 hours before Communion just this year that he is 10. I have a feeling my son has low blood sugar like I do, and cannot fast 12 hours or whatever it is from the night before until Communion time (I eat a small bit of breakfast about 3 hours before I take Communion - no meats or anything, but something).

 

[Kreikkalainen]

Well I have no kids but I was in your son's shoes 30 years ago so I'll jump in and say a word .

I believe first time I did the full Pascha Lent I was probably 11 or 12, while I'd been doing the Wed and Fri fast basically since I remember myself. If I remember correctly, I think both mum & I basically wanted to experiment & see how long I would last with the Pascha Lent . My older siblings & of course my parents were already doing it. I don't recall being pressed to fast (or to do anything else, for that matter). I have never been too strict (meaning, I do oil & wine on fasting days except very few days per year, but the rest is normally out).

I think you'll do great to get your son into the habit of fasting (health permitting). Decades later, I will tell you that for me it's the one & only "churchy" thing that's very easy to do - it's pretty much automatic. Otherwise, as the years go by, I do find it increasingly difficult to get my act together and keep up with basic things such as a simple rule of prayer, or even consistently going to church on Sundays at a sensible hour . What fasting often does, it reminds me that, you know, I actually believe in God - when often these days there's nobody and nothing else at all to remind me of just that, and my own self is doing his best to make me forget it. Looking back in the last 10 years or so, I think I would probably have given up altogether if it wasn't for such small habits as not milking my coffee on fasting days to ring the bell for me. Really, when temptations, disappointments, tiredness, sloth, whatever strikes, it's through small habits that God begins the process of bringing us back.

Also, from another perspective I don't think it's good for you at all to have meat 365 days a year... Staying away periodically is actually a healthy habit. Beans, lentils, chick peas, aubergines, spinach etc are all healthy, tasty & nutricious & I don't think kids (or adults) miss out on energy if they eat them instead of meat twice a week. I mean, I have been fasting all my life & I am not malnourished. I am not short & I could be thinner . In primary school I was maybe the only one in my class doing any sort of fasting and yet I was probably one of those typical fat boys that every primary school class has .

These are general thoughts. Implementation details - at what age, how etc - I'm not a natural or a spiritual parent so I can't say anything on that .

I actually often miss the okra that mum used to cook .

 

[Monica child of God 1]

Kreikkalainen, I think you bring up a good point. It is good when kids get into the habit of some fasting. AYP on what age to do what. I would think that some fasting observance on Good Friday would be a minimum, but again AYP.

M.