Leaving your children alone

[hisbloodformysins]

I don't usually watch doctor Phil except on occassion, and the other day the episode was about mother's who have been falsey accused of child abuse and on the show they discussed other people's experiences and views on the subject. One topic they talked about a lot was about parents who had left their kids alone for a vehicle and got arrested for abuse.

In both the examples shared the parents were in line of sight of the child and were not gone long and not very far away.

How many of you have left your child alone in the car even for just a minute?

What is your opinion about that?

When do you think doing so becomes abuse?

HB

 

[Orville]

Unless you are right near the car, like pumping gas or standing at the door talking to someone, you never leave your child in a car.

 

[Orville]

I voted yes, but only because there was no allowance for some unexpected emergency situation. Not always abuse, but at lest neglect.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

I vote maybe (or I should've wrote "sometimes") because well, no I don't agree that children should be left unattended.

However, have I? Even for a minute? Yes. I think once or twice I have went into a place without them, but both times I did it because there were windows right near the front door, and I parked right in front of them and locked the care keeping my eyes on it the whole time. Did I worry? Yes. I was afraid of something happening to my children but I was more afraid of getting into trouble because it's so easy to get your children taken away from you these days.

I don't think it's a good idea, but I don't think what I did was neglect either. There's a big difference between just leaving your kid in the car and not being careful or even being careless about it from taking many precaution measures.

Once I parked right in front of my day care and ran it to give them a check. My toddler was sleeping and I had to pay them but was just not willing to wake her up for that.... I mean, it really was less then a minute and really was not necessary.

I have to leave my kids unattended now for a short time.... let me explain. When it's time to pick up my son from school... it's just me with a 4 year old, a 1 year old and a 1 month old. I cannot carry my 1 year old and the baby at the same time.... so I lock in my 4 year old and 1 year old, then I go back into my house (hense... leaving them alone) and grab my baby and take her out. The van is in the garage when I do this.... now let's say that at that very moment someone jumped in the van and grabbed one of my kids... I'd probably be arrested for abuse/neglect (which is rediculous in my opinion!).

In the situation shared on Dr. Phil's show, the lady left her sleeping kid in the car and was about 30 feet away but in line of site... and someone rear ended the car- which is bad.... but the child didn't get any more hurt then it would have if the mom was still in the car. Does that make sense... it's not like her being in the car could have prevented it. And if she had the car locked and was only a short distance away and in line of site and a kidnapper was brazen enough to still bust the window out and take the kid(s) then the kidnapper could have just as easily done it with the parent in the car.... and kidnapped the mom too.

I agree that the authorities went overboared when they charged her with abuse. Later the charges were dropped though.

HB

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I guess it depends on one's definition of unattended. If I can see the car I don't think it's unattended and more than my child being unattended if I can see them at the other end of a large room. Having said that I have never gone into a store and left my kids in the car even if Icould see the car from the store. I have left them (all buckled into their seats) while I've paid for gas that has the cubicle between the pumps (like at a supermarket gas station). I have also left the kids in the car at the house when loading or unloading them due to bad weather etc. basically because I can't managed to do it all at once.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I don't usually watch doctor Phil except on occassion, and the other day the episode was about mother's who have been falsey accused of child abuse and on the show they discussed other people's experiences and views on the subject. One topic they talked about a lot was about parents who had left their kids alone for a vehicle and got arrested for abuse.

In both the examples shared the parents were in line of sight of the child and were not gone long and not very far away.

How many of you have left your child alone in the car even for just a minute?

What is your opinion about that?

When do you think doing so becomes abuse?

HB

I have left my son alone in the car at a gas station where I can see him, when I am pulled up at the pump and only have to run in for a minute. It's rare, but sometimes he just doesnt want to come in, other times he does. I of course lock all doors and it takes under 5 minutes, and I'm always looking out the window and making sure everything is ok. I dont see anything abuseful about this situation. If he were really young I would not of course, but he's almost 8 and I think he's old enough for it to be okay in that situation.

 

[seamonster]

I guess it depends on one's definition of unattended. If I can see the car I don't think it's unattended and more than my child being unattended if I can see them at the other end of a large room

I agree.

 

[Leanna]

I guess it depends on one's definition of unattended. If I can see the car I don't think it's unattended and more than my child being unattended if I can see them at the other end of a large room.

I agree.

However I am aware that in my state, it is illegal, even with the car in sight and to put change in the Salvation army bucket at Walmart. A mother was arrested last year for doing just that.

 

[tiredwalker]

Nope. Not for a second. Too many creeps in this world.

 

[HeatherJay]

Nope, not even for a second. My kids are 7 and 10, and I don't even leave them alone in the car to get gas. If I can't pay at the pump, they come inside with me. I'm from a small country town where people leave their kids in the car all the time, just to run in and pay for gas or whatever. Grrr. It's ILLEGAL. And there's a good reason for it.

 

[ChristianMama84]

I live in an itty bitty little town and have 0 problem leaving my 18 month old in his car seat while I run in to prepay for gas. There is never, ever a line so it takes less than 30 seconds and I'm right back at his side. It's difficult for me to pay with him on my hip and if I put him down he'd run off, so it's easier and safer to leave him be. If you don't like it, don't do it, but it's not fair to judge others and say they're abusive or neglectful just because they do things differently from the way you would. And if I didn't feel that safe in my hometown I would move to a place where I could feel comfortable because that is where my kids are going to grow up and they need to feel safe and secure, even when I can't be right there for whatever reason.

 

[Neenie1]

I think depending on the age of the child it's safer to leave them in the car while paing for petrol. I know my dd when she was younger would have been likely to get run over by a car.

I try really hard to only buy petrol when dh is at home and I can leave the kids with him, but sometimes it's impossible.

 

[jgonz]

Back in the day, lol, EVERYONE left their kids in the car when they went to pay for gas. I did too, with my 2 oldest kids. Then people started screaming abuse! neglect! and it became illegal (amazing) in some places, and just downright unsafe in other places. The only time I'll leave a little one in the van anymore is if one of my teens is in there too.

 

[CelticRose]

I live in a smaller than small community & have left my small ones in the car on the island but never on the mainland except when paying for petrol. Then leaving them in the car was safer than having 3 under 3 running round with lots of cars. I don't think you can give a blanket statement with something like this. That's what common sense is for. If you judge it's not safe take the kids with you; judge it's safe leave them be. I don't like the *Big Brother* attitude of governments doing parents' thinking & decision making for them with arbitary rules. Most parents are neither neglectful nor abusive & those that are neglect the rules anyway.

 

[ChristianMama84]

I don't think you can give a blanket statement with something like this. That's what common sense is for. If you judge it's not safe take the kids with you; judge it's safe leave them be. I don't like the *Big Brother* attitude of governments doing parents' thinking & decision making for them with arbitary rules. Most parents are neither neglectful nor abusive & those that are neglect the rules anyway.

 

[Stan53]

There have been a number of times where a child has died in the car because the child was left in the car with the windows up. The inside of a motor vehicle gets extremely hot, even on a cold day, when left in the sun. There have also been times when a child died because they were inside the car and the keys were inside the car and the doors locked and no one was able to get into the car. Then there have been times when a child was trapped inside a car, unable to get out, and the parents were unaware.
Even at the petrol station, when I go to pay for the petrol, my children go with me. And yes, it is inconvenient to get them out and then put them in. Even more inconvenient is attending a child's funeral who died from heat stroke in a car.

 

[jgonz]

Stan, we are talking about Normal everyday parents, not those who are neglectful and abusive.

And we're not talking about accidentally locking a baby in the car~ which I've done by the way. (The firemen came & got him out (he was in his car seat). He thought it was interesting watching all the goings-on until one of them touched him (then he cried. lol)

 

[Birbitt]

I have left my children alone in the car on occassion. If I just got them in the car and then realized I forgot something I'll run back in get what I forgot and then go back out...meanwhile my boys are safely locked in the car and I can watch them from the window. Also if I'm unlucky enough to need gas and my dh isn't with me but the children are I'll leave them in the car while I go and pay and then come back and pump the gas...again the boys are safely locked in the car and both of my boys know to SCREAM as loud as they can if anyone comes near our car! Also if it's hot I'll leave the car run with the ac on and lock the doors.

I don't think that it's easy or even right to draw a line in the sand and say anything past it it abuse/neglect. I mean MOST parents do have common sense and can use it to decide what's safe for their children. Mind you my children are 4 and 5 so old enough to understand danger and such to a point. I will say that one thing I would NEVER do is to leave my children in a parking lot while I run into a grocery store or wal mart even if I only expect to be gone a few minutes. If I can not see them from where I am going to be then I DO NOT leave them in the car. This is something that every parent needs to judge for themselves but in general I think if you can see your children and you know you will be gone only a moment or two it's probably safe in most situations.

 

[peace in the vally]

I Don't Believe Its Abuse, I Do However Believe Its Neglect But If Your Right There Then No.
I Will Get Out Of The Car And Stand In Front Of It If Im Going To Have A Smoke Or Somthing, Will I Ever Go Into A Store And Leave My Child In A Car By Herself Never! And Then You Have To Also Take Into Account How Old The Child Is, So Its Hard To Say. Just My Opinion

 

[heart of peace]

I voted maybe. To me, anything farther than right next to the car is a bit worrisome. If a stranger could get to my car before I could and subsequently take off with my child inside it, that is too far. I could never live with the knowledge that I could have prevented that. Like Heather, if I can't prepay, I take him out of his carseat and bring him inside with me to pay. At the supemarket, I park in the spot directly next to the carriage holder so I can put the carriage away and bring my son to the car quickly.