• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

Why Churches Annoy Me

Status
Not open for further replies.

eves_adam

Active Member
Aug 17, 2008
123
8
✟305.00
Faith
Christian
First, the people. I don't know why, but church members are extremely stiff and uncomfortable with themselves. Rarely do I find a member of a church at church who feels COMFORTABLE at ease, and at peace with themselves. Their smiles are strained, they feel uncomfortable with the touch of even a handshake, lest they enjoy it. One of the most awkward moments of every church meeting is the "greeting" ceremony. This has to be the most painful, fake, trying thing I have ever seen in the social arena.

They are worried about their children. Churchgoers are some of the worst child beaters I have ever encountered. Often, pastors will encourage physically disciplining children, and I have witnessed some extreme physical cruelty by pastors against their own children.

The congregation. And this is no fault of their own. Very often extremely old, extremely physically ill, or in a situation of extreme crisis, like warfare or combat, or are being rescued from such similar situation. Very infrequently will you meet people then who are happy. Very frequently will you meet people who are worried because they find themselves in a grave situation.

There are bible groups for young people, young adults, but I find such people to be incredibly stiff and self conscious.

I'm not saying turn church into a mosh pit. But church should bring peace and a quiet self confidence that radiates love and acceptance. Instead, most everyone I encounter at church walks around with an extremely stiff smile and act as if they have a permanent stick stuck up their patootie.

---

Having said that, the average non churchgoer is even more deplorable and wacked out of their mind than the average churchgoer.
 

Zor

Regular Member
Jan 29, 2007
283
2
✟22,949.00
Faith
Atheist
First, the people. I don't know why, but church members are extremely stiff and uncomfortable with themselves. Rarely do I find a member of a church at church who feels COMFORTABLE at ease, and at peace with themselves. Their smiles are strained, they feel uncomfortable with the touch of even a handshake, lest they enjoy it. One of the most awkward moments of every church meeting is the "greeting" ceremony. This has to be the most painful, fake, trying thing I have ever seen in the social arena.

They are worried about their children. Churchgoers are some of the worst child beaters I have ever encountered. Often, pastors will encourage physically disciplining children, and I have witnessed some extreme physical cruelty by pastors against their own children.

The congregation. And this is no fault of their own. Very often extremely old, extremely physically ill, or in a situation of extreme crisis, like warfare or combat, or are being rescued from such similar situation. Very infrequently will you meet people then who are happy. Very frequently will you meet people who are worried because they find themselves in a grave situation.

There are bible groups for young people, young adults, but I find such people to be incredibly stiff and self conscious.

I'm not saying turn church into a mosh pit. But church should bring peace and a quiet self confidence that radiates love and acceptance. Instead, most everyone I encounter at church walks around with an extremely stiff smile and act as if they have a permanent stick stuck up their patootie.

---

Having said that, the average non churchgoer is even more deplorable and wacked out of their mind than the average churchgoer.
Therefore, churches are immoral to you. Or rather, the specific aspects of the chuches that annoy you are immoral to you.
 
Upvote 0
B

Braunwyn

Guest
There's a church at the end of my street (non-thru street). It's surprisingly always open, at least during the day. I take my mom there when she visits and it's a nice time for her to sit, pray, relax and do whatever it is she needs to do. Maybe you could find an open church to attend when it's empty. I guess that option would vary depending on where you live.
 
Upvote 0

jayem

Naturalist
Jun 24, 2003
15,427
7,164
74
St. Louis, MO.
✟424,120.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Married
I only go to a church (or synagogue) if I'm invited to a wedding, funeral, or the occasional bar mitzvah. I don't believe in any of the religious customs, but there's something to be said for being part of a community of like-minded people. It's always seemed to me that people belong to churches far more for social, rather than religious reasons. (And, cynic that I am, I wonder how much they are trying to impress with how elaborate and spectacular an event they can afford.)

There are a couple of well-established Unitarian churches where I live, in addition to an Ethical Humanist fellowship that I've given some thought to attending. Just for fellowship with people of similar philosophy to mine. I haven't actually done it, but for someone dissatisfied with traditional, more doctrinal churches, this would be a more congenial option.
 
Upvote 0

Garyzenuf

Socialism is lovely.
Aug 17, 2008
1,170
97
67
White Rock, Canada
✟24,357.00
Faith
Agnostic
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
CA-NDP
Going to church may be some peoples only social (major) interaction for the week, and finding themselves in an uncomfortable (large) setting often makes people act stiff and unapproachable. Reach out yourself to others and you'll most likely find many of your bretheren are having the same thoughts.

Others here have advised checking out other churches, but If you've already done this and found them wanting, then the problem of honest fellowship may lie with you, and where ever you go, there you are. (meaning you take your own problems with you). As one who no longer attends church, I hope you will not view my advise as too deplorable to consider. ;)
 
Upvote 0

eves_adam

Active Member
Aug 17, 2008
123
8
✟305.00
Faith
Christian
That's a really good idea.

There's a church at the end of my street (non-thru street). It's surprisingly always open, at least during the day. I take my mom there when she visits and it's a nice time for her to sit, pray, relax and do whatever it is she needs to do. Maybe you could find an open church to attend when it's empty. I guess that option would vary depending on where you live.
 
Upvote 0

bliz

Contributor
Jun 5, 2004
9,360
1,110
Here
✟14,830.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
eves adam -

You've got to get out more often! Sure, I've been to churches where what you describe is the status quo, but that is hardly the case for all churches. Step outside of whatever box you are in, and visit around.

You still won' find a perfect church, but you may find one that does better in the areas that matter to you.
 
Upvote 0

tulc

loves "SO'S YER MOM!! posts!
May 18, 2002
49,401
18,804
69
✟279,100.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
First, the people. I don't know why, but church members are extremely stiff and uncomfortable with themselves. Rarely do I find a member of a church at church who feels COMFORTABLE at ease, and at peace with themselves. Their smiles are strained, they feel uncomfortable with the touch of even a handshake, lest they enjoy it. One of the most awkward moments of every church meeting is the "greeting" ceremony. This has to be the most painful, fake, trying thing I have ever seen in the social arena.

They are worried about their children. Churchgoers are some of the worst child beaters I have ever encountered. Often, pastors will encourage physically disciplining children, and I have witnessed some extreme physical cruelty by pastors against their own children.

The congregation. And this is no fault of their own. Very often extremely old, extremely physically ill, or in a situation of extreme crisis, like warfare or combat, or are being rescued from such similar situation. Very infrequently will you meet people then who are happy. Very frequently will you meet people who are worried because they find themselves in a grave situation.

There are bible groups for young people, young adults, but I find such people to be incredibly stiff and self conscious.

I'm not saying turn church into a mosh pit. But church should bring peace and a quiet self confidence that radiates love and acceptance. Instead, most everyone I encounter at church walks around with an extremely stiff smile and act as if they have a permanent stick stuck up their patootie.

---

Having said that, the average non churchgoer is even more deplorable and wacked out of their mind than the average churchgoer.

...wouldn't it be more accurate to say "this is why some Churches annoy me"? :confused: You seem to be assuming all Churches are the same. :sorry:
tulc(pouring more coffee) ;)
 
Upvote 0

Beanieboy

Senior Veteran
Jan 20, 2006
6,297
1,213
62
✟65,122.00
Faith
Christian
There is a book called "How to quit Religion without Quitting God". The author questions if what the church is is what Christ ever intended. It also talks about a lot of the theology that doesn't make sense to nonbelievers, or believers who sit and think about it for a while. It may help you get a different perspective, as well as a sympathetic ear that you can relate to.
 
Upvote 0
Status
Not open for further replies.