Bipolar Creative Writing and art

jynx · May 15, 2008

okay if i fall asleep at the keyboard, someone has to beep me and wake my rear end up.

It started slowly with me. I gave up my journaling cuz someone found it and used it agianst me to get me committed to a nut ward. it was a painful and terrifying expierience at the age of 15.

Then I lost my eldsest daughter to my abusive ex. it hurt bad. still does. i didn't want to feel happy. i didn't want joy. i didn't want to feel "light" again. I didn't want anything to carry me away from the pain. I wanted to die. and part of me did that day... I gave up my music. no panio. no flute. no sax, no nothing. i pawned it all dirt cheap, bought a few pints and got sloshed. more like i liquified what was left of my soul...for three long years...(sober for 9 1/2 now thank God!)

My current hubbie got in some legal problems that ...just wasn't fair cuz he didn't do it... and we had to sell our home...all our things... and move into a trailer.. and... ugh... I gave up my home. my decorating. my furniture making. i refused to put a nail in the wall and hang one danged pitcure for 4 years now. I didn't even hang a stupid curtain. i left everything in boxes... for four years...

I was flippin tired of loosing everything and feeling like spit (we all know what that word is SUPPOSED be)

I gave myself up. Everything that was uniquely Jamie I gave up. Me. My soul. I gave it up cuz I let some twit ding-aling make me feel like a piece of deep fried doo doo and i felt worthless. I felt I was unable to contibute. beyond crappy. i was miserable. suicidal. sulken. angry. so very very angry.

I hung pitcures on my wall this week. i re-arranged my furniture. i went trash sailing and found a busted up dresser i am re-making into a book shelf. i sat down and the church panio and let my fingers dance across the board again... wow... it was like an electric current sizzling down my spine. *shudder*

I am not sure I can journal again..or write again...i just am not able to leave myself that open and vunerable again. i want to. part of me still aches to write...

*ugh*

I don't want anyone to give up their creativitiy, what ever it may be and what ever level of talent they poesses... cuz it is a part of you. it is your inate being that tugs at our morla fibers to create. to leave a mark. to make things different, to make things better...to express! It is sooo danged difficult to express our feelings, being bipolar ppl because they are sooo outa sink with the rest of the universe. how is a non-bipolar person supposed to understand a manic high or a dperssive low when they have never lived it? Through our art, our writing, our creative process we can share our feelings to the outside world and educate, advocate and VENTALLATE to the normie Joes of this world. Everyone has some sort of creativity in them. Creativity doesn't have to be art, music or prose. I see creativiness in someone who can masterfully organzie a heaped up closet into a neat and orderly space... can't you see the lines, the focus, the contrast in their work? Or someone who cooks delcisous things. It is a symphony in our mouths. Creativity is often cast on the painters and musicians and writers... when we all have it in us in some form or another...

what are you good at? where are your natural talents at?

what do you enjoy doing most?

take care friends. i will be gone for a few days. got a shipment of 400 pounds of spelt i must gopher away into gamma containers. i am preparing the great Ferguson food ark of the 21st century...it is the 21st century right> Or did I miss another year? I really have no exucse for missing years now that I am sober.. LMBO!!!! I will share that stuff later though. i am delirous from stress and lack o sleep. have fun decypherin my typin.

luv ya.

Jamie

Psst.... Soulwings...ForeverAlive...ummm is this somethin I oughta delete later??? *giggle*
sleeeeeep.

wonderwoman · May 15, 2008

Here are 3 pieces i wrote during manias some yrs. ago.

[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Fish flicker like coins in fountains[/FONT] [FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Sleep comes like a million oceans[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]My eyes anchor.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]I fall[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]fish flinch out of the way[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]And loop like coins blinking[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]There is no sound[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]My ear in a cup[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]A thud inside the head[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]I am weightless as a star[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Drifts of sand shift[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Blanket piled[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Like snow[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]When I land[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Sand Grains lift like dust blown[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Settling as flour.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Grasses tremble[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]small things float[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]I am warmed with the weight[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]And smeared with the warbling moon[/FONT]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Rubble underfoot.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Each step----a piece meal.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]I emerge.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Lodged within the bark and bale[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Tethered to the warbler[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Droning with a slouch---[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]A sluggish heel.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]All the earth towed to me.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]I am scoured with sea salt[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Bolstered up.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Everything else,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]A ruse.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Eventide

[/FONT] [FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Let me be who I truly am[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]in the last phase of light;[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]To find you in the niche [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]And in the stem[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Your hand gestures,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]turns[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]and even I,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]see robes slip off the earth[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Dumb as cows,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Good as grass[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]You come[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]In the half light,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]in the closing shade[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]When all is washed in orange tin,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]Your hand outlines the thing itself,----[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]I learn to rest inside the ear of corn,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]the peace inside the pearl.[/FONT]

wonderwoman · May 15, 2008

Another one i just found.

Your hearts, you boys, are snake-skinned scales encrusted.
A glass mosaic
of a mirrored self misshapen.

At the mouth of Hades
I stand here on this mound grieving everything....
always wondering
who would ignite the pitch
or explode the dense dark soil with light-blooms for a jewel-hung cellar.

Unhook the stars my dear,
and let me lie in the dread dark soil of our after-life.

wonderwoman · May 15, 2008

You've heard of chastity belts right? Well i made a chastity belt for the heart. This is the first conceptual piece i made after getting into metal smithing.

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/ind...endID=11147219&albumID=1091916&imageID=471857

http://b9.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00088/90/43/88743409_l.jpg

I discovered the visual arts after my diagnosis and having to go on disability. It's the one thing i thank god for with regards to my mental illness....or one of the greatest blessings that came as a result of my illness. I believe i was born creative and always tinkered with different mediums through out the yrs., but it wasn't till i went on disability when i finally had the time to cultivate and discover the visual arts....particularly metal work. Now i'm hooked and find it so theraputic.

Here are few other things i made:

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/ind...dID=11147219&albumID=1091916&imageID=17464561

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/ind...dID=11147219&albumID=1091916&imageID=17494884

Alive again · May 16, 2008

Welcome back wonderwoman!

wonderwoman · May 16, 2008

Alive again said:
Welcome back wonderwoman!

thanx for the welcome

Soulwings · May 16, 2008

Jynx- nope, you don't have to delete that, I don't think.

What you said makes sense... but I think now you should definitely take advantage of your creativity. You are going through a lot and you need to hold on to whatever you can that is not bad and dark and scary... creativity - your muse

- can hold you up and help you in your struggles, by giving you something to live for... :hug:

I can't imagine not journalling... rather, I can, but it is a very scary thought for me, bc self expression through words is practically the crux of my existence!! I really, really need to write, and I am so glad that Jarrod understands this. (He actually let me take time away from chatting with him last night to finish up a poem... isn't that sweet?

) So yes. Take it back up if you think that it is "safe" now. Who knows, it may release you more than you realize right now. One thing that you could do is make an online blog (xanga.com or livejournal.com are good places) that you make private, just for you, password protected. That way, it is guaranteed to be more private than a real-life paper journal. Not quite the same, but close enough.

At least, for me. I have quite a few online journals, bc I just have to get stuff out somewhere!

I also can't imagine not immersing myself in music. I love to sing (although I don't do it enough), I play three instruments... and I can't imagine forcing myself to mute that part of me. I am so glad, Jamie (right?), that you could express yourself again this week! That is wonderful to hear. :hug:

Keep finding ways to express your creativity - that goes not just for Jynx, but for all of you - bottling it up inside is not the way to go. Creativity is meant to come out and be shared... not hidden away, unless you have to do so in order to protect that very special place in you. That is understandable... that is why I stopped sharing poems for awhile... I got laughed at in early 2006... so I stopped sharing, but kept writing, and then I took 3 poetry classes and had to share in each of them. (Workshopping poems = amazing fun!) So that helped some. But... protecting yourself is all well and good for a time... but you just have to let it out sometime... bc otherwise, how is anyone going to understand that unique, creative person, that is you?

Wonderwoman, amazing poems. Good use of words... very interesting too. They really are quite expressive.

Keep writing... keep sharing... and ideas certainly do flow, just like words, when you are manic, don't they? And I don't know much about metalworking, but those pieces are fascinating - I do like the "forest box" that you made (handcut copper? I think the caption read?). Very creative (I feel silly for overusing that word, but it is true!!)... keep it up!! :hug:

Alive again · May 16, 2008

Soulwings, thanks for the wonderful ideas and encouragement. My counselor recommended writing journals and then burning them if needed. But I like the blog protected idea. I am finally hoping to get back into reading some deeper thinking stuff and really exercising the philosophical part of me. That has been silent since I got married. NO one to talk to about it so why, busy with job etc. I hope to do this while adjusting to a new job!!! After 14 years away it will be a challenge for my lack of organized perfectionsist self-ah, contradictions, don't ya just love 'em!

wonderwoman · May 16, 2008

Soulwings said:
Jynx- nope, you don't have to delete that, I don't think. What you said makes sense... but I think now you should definitely take advantage of your creativity. You are going through a lot and you need to hold on to whatever you can that is not bad and dark and scary... creativity - your muse - can hold you up and help you in your struggles, by giving you something to live for...

I can't imagine not journalling... rather, I can, but it is a very scary thought for me, bc self expression through words is practically the crux of my existence!! I really, really need to write, and I am so glad that Jarrod understands this. (He actually let me take time away from chatting with him last night to finish up a poem... isn't that sweet? ) So yes. Take it back up if you think that it is "safe" now. Who knows, it may release you more than you realize right now. One thing that you could do is make an online blog (xanga.com or livejournal.com are good places) that you make private, just for you, password protected. That way, it is guaranteed to be more private than a real-life paper journal. Not quite the same, but close enough. At least, for me. I have quite a few online journals, bc I just have to get stuff out somewhere!

I also can't imagine not immersing myself in music. I love to sing (although I don't do it enough), I play three instruments... and I can't imagine forcing myself to mute that part of me. I am so glad, Jamie (right?), that you could express yourself again this week! That is wonderful to hear.

Keep finding ways to express your creativity - that goes not just for Jynx, but for all of you - bottling it up inside is not the way to go. Creativity is meant to come out and be shared... not hidden away, unless you have to do so in order to protect that very special place in you. That is understandable... that is why I stopped sharing poems for awhile... I got laughed at in early 2006... so I stopped sharing, but kept writing, and then I took 3 poetry classes and had to share in each of them. (Workshopping poems = amazing fun!) So that helped some. But... protecting yourself is all well and good for a time... but you just have to let it out sometime... bc otherwise, how is anyone going to understand that unique, creative person, that is you?

Wonderwoman, amazing poems. Good use of words... very interesting too. They really are quite expressive. Keep writing... keep sharing... and ideas certainly do flow, just like words, when you are manic, don't they? And I don't know much about metalworking, but those pieces are fascinating - I do like the "forest box" that you made (handcut copper? I think the caption read?). Very creative (I feel silly for overusing that word, but it is true!!)... keep it up!!

Thanx for the compliments.
I was trained in Literature/creative writing. That was my major in college. I don't write as much as i used to since i went on meds. When i got on disability, i started to explore other mediums through which to express myself and fell in love with metal work. I find that working with my hands comes easier to me than writing.
I love the process more than the end result. It's such a meditative process. I didn't know that i had it in me or rather never thought of myself as an artist, but i realized and learned that the more you create, the more you create. It's an addictive thing...in a good way. I don't know that there is any such thing as a born artist, but what i do know is that if you have even an inclination and you cultivate that inclination, you will soon find yourself desiring it even more and more.
For me, i feel miserable and incredibly bored if i'm not creating something. It's hard to explain, but it's as if something is missing....like someone took away one of my limbs or something. That is why it sux so bad to be in a depressed episode....when i'm depressed i lose my desire to do anything that i'm normally passionate about. There's a part of me that longs for it because i miss that sensation that creating gives me, but i just don't feel inspired so i don't do anything. When manic i feel extra creative and extra inspired. Don't understand why that happens.
Anyway, i agree with your advice to that woman regarding art is something you need to cultivate and nurture. When i first started making jewelry, i didn't have the patience for it that i do now. As your abilities and knowledge of technique improves, the more you will grow to develop as an artist....your level of patience grows until it's no longer frustrating and nothing but pure joy. Personally i really don't care if anyone ever sees my stuff........what motivates me is the desire in itself. Of course it's nice to share it with those who can appreciate it, but if someone told me that all my creations would never be appreciated by others, it wouldn't deter my desire to create things.

Soulwings · May 16, 2008

Exactly, Wonderwoman - you hit the nail on the head when you said "...if someone told me that all my creations would never be appreciated by others, it wouldn't deter my desire to create things." I couldn't agree more. I need to create, and yes, the more I put effort into creating, the more I will create. That's something that I still need to work on, since I have not spent as much time as I could've writing poetry etc. Guess that's something I need to get back into, this summer perhaps. It's hard to write when not inspired, but my poetry prof told me that you need to write even if you don't feel inspired, even if you only write crappy pieces, bc that way you keep the creative juices flowing.

wonderwoman · May 17, 2008

Soulwings said:
Exactly, Wonderwoman - you hit the nail on the head when you said "...if someone told me that all my creations would never be appreciated by others, it wouldn't deter my desire to create things." I couldn't agree more. I need to create, and yes, the more I put effort into creating, the more I will create. That's something that I still need to work on, since I have not spent as much time as I could've writing poetry etc. Guess that's something I need to get back into, this summer perhaps. It's hard to write when not inspired, but my poetry prof told me that you need to write even if you don't feel inspired, even if you only write crappy pieces, bc that way you keep the creative juices flowing.

Yes writing is a discipline just like any other. Sometimes you have to write pages and pages of crap to finally work up to the good stuff. It's just like practicing an instrument....instead of notes you're using language. Poetry is the language of the soul and the hidden mind. Economy of words...it's all about the economy of words.
Writing can sometimes be like giving birth. Poetry even more so since it's like squeezing a lot through a little keyhole.

An exercise i sometimes like to use when i don't have a particular theme or idea in mind for a poem is something i loosely term as: stream of consciousness. I don't know if you know what stream of consciousness is, but it's a literary technique that came out of the modernist movement....this technique is more deliberate than the way i use it, but it's pretty much the same basic idea only i use it to "fish" for words and images so that i later can put it into a poem. It's basically free association.

What i do is simply write out strings of words and sentences that come to mind......no punctuation, no attention to grammar or spelling. It's nothing coherent.....i simply quickly write the first things that come to mind without pausing to make any sense of it. At first it's weird to think in this manner, but if you keep going you will find some gems hidden in the nonsense. Here is a sample of this exercise...something i wrote during a mania.....sometimes both my best and worst work comes out during a mania. (i say worst because my judgment is impaired when manic and i don't realize how crappy it was till i'm "sober" again)

Here is the sample of this exercise. I put punctuation in it for you so it would be a bit more coherent. Now keep in mind there's a lot of gibberish here, but i was able to sift through it and find some good alliteration, rhythm and images i liked and could later use as seeds for poems.

Psyche and her meta-morphis--morphing into water marks or rarity of stamps from Eastern continents who split and flake and crack as easily as butterfly wings. There is a meta in my shoulder blade and I too lorn and glad to tirelessly bring all pollen from my azaleas---Jasmine with the chrysanthemum make a good song to curdle crone in my throat--the moth head in my esophagus and the thrush hinge branch -bones where bushes flap and beat their wings till dragonflies appear and do their bidding---hover-crafts bob like beaded hummingbirds at my feet and hover on the lake like I glide gleaming on the crystal face of diamond reaches of the stars do shine as I do every splendour of the spring---were I to forget this glory in the grass, I could not transport through climbs on Mothra's wings and starry feet act as lamp posts or say, lighted stair cases each with yellow orbs of 1920 ----a dim yellow Manhattan of the merry go mind. Specks of glass of pointed stars remind me of the icy wind on the face in far east Asia filled with watery strokes of rock and combing sand of ocean bottom. This season of lent blooms and heralds in the bells that now sing to me from my parish on 54th street, at Saint Joseph's of this here palisades----its all as song as could ever be or was from time where pilgrims--no, not pilgrims but parasols were the lady's shade in somewhere in Monet's park-Giverney, maybe Orley and the River Sen.

I wonder all about you now this sun my coat you promised me to wear. With tidings glad I enter into square. in town shops are still open somewhere with Charles Dickens wherein awnings seem to hang like hammock canopies in jades of green or more like sage with parsley on my tongue together with Victorian safety and my corset's not to tight today and there's a bustle in my step. I celebrate you o butterfly spring and congratulate all those psyche's who from gold to gold did form from pod to leaf of flaming fan of burnished bronze ---Her all in Elven glitter shook and woke the fairies from their winter sleep.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well you get the gist. Try it..... it's amazing what comes out from the subconscious mind. Another thing i do when i feel stumped with writing is read poetry. I go to the masters for inspiration....they never disappoint. Do you read other poets? If so, who are your favorite? One of my favorites is Rilke.

Soulwings · May 17, 2008

Ooh I am just getting into Rilke now - haven't read much by him but am in anticipation of doing so. I have his Diaries of a Young Poet waiting for me (reading others' journals/diaries, especially those of poets [am reading Sylvia Plath's right now] give me fodder both for my own journalling tendencies and also my poetry), and I want to read Rilke's Book of Hours ... and several other collexions of his. I am so glad that you brought that up.

Favorite poets... well, I do hark back to the masters sometimes - I enjoy Rossetti, Byron, Shelley... then skip to the present/recent past and I enjoy Ted Kooser (currently Poet Laureate of the United States? I think), Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton (confessional poets?), Mary Oliver (nature writing for the most part), and I am going to be reading May Swenson and Elizabeth Bishop shortly (have some of their collexions as well). Yey for reading poetry. It does inspire.

Stream of consciousness - yes, I do know what that is, but I really do like your example! I love your choice of words, and - to me - there is much to be found in that. I need to brush up on my "delicious words," bc I know a lot, but don't usually use them in everyday speech, so, well, I just don't use them and therefore they aren't at the front of my brain. The overwhelming feeling I got from that bit that you shared was a delicate, intricate gold leaf with an Elven face peering around it. Interesting, isn't it?

I will definitely have to try that - perhaps this morning, since I have nothing going on for a few hours. Just sit down, turn some music on, and write.

I will also have to be writing more. Poetry means a lot to me, and you're right, it is fitting a lot into/through a small space... that's why it takes so long to get a good poem, I think - bc you have to condense and condense until you've distilled the meaning from the words that originally poured out. Does that make sense?

wonderwoman · May 17, 2008

Soulwings said:
Ooh I am just getting into Rilke now - haven't read much by him but am in anticipation of doing so. I have his Diaries of a Young Poet waiting for me (reading others' journals/diaries, especially those of poets [am reading Sylvia Plath's right now] give me fodder both for my own journalling tendencies and also my poetry), and I want to read Rilke's Book of Hours ... and several other collexions of his. I am so glad that you brought that up. Favorite poets... well, I do hark back to the masters sometimes - I enjoy Rossetti, Byron, Shelley... then skip to the present/recent past and I enjoy Ted Kooser (currently Poet Laureate of the United States? I think), Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton (confessional poets?), Mary Oliver (nature writing for the most part), and I am going to be reading May Swenson and Elizabeth Bishop shortly (have some of their collexions as well). Yey for reading poetry. It does inspire.

Stream of consciousness - yes, I do know what that is, but I really do like your example! I love your choice of words, and - to me - there is much to be found in that. I need to brush up on my "delicious words," bc I know a lot, but don't usually use them in everyday speech, so, well, I just don't use them and therefore they aren't at the front of my brain. The overwhelming feeling I got from that bit that you shared was a delicate, intricate gold leaf with an Elven face peering around it. Interesting, isn't it? I will definitely have to try that - perhaps this morning, since I have nothing going on for a few hours. Just sit down, turn some music on, and write.

I will also have to be writing more. Poetry means a lot to me, and you're right, it is fitting a lot into/through a small space... that's why it takes so long to get a good poem, I think - bc you have to condense and condense until you've distilled the meaning from the words that originally poured out. Does that make sense?

oh i looooooove sylvia plath. Luv the romantics too fur sure.
I have some fond memories of reading sylvia plath and journaling in a small cafe in the evenings in manhattan. Candlelight, espresso, pecan pie and sylvia---all great combinations.

Condensing and distilling is a great way to describe it. It's like extracting the scent of lavendar from a thousand stems.

Soulwings · May 17, 2008

Yey, I did two streams-of-consciousness writings today, and I am pleased with how they turned out. I did get a few good phrases from them... am looking forward to "poetrifying" the stuff that I came up with.

I may share the s.o.c., may not, we'll see. Do y'all want to see one? bc that really is what matters. I am happy either way.

And Wonderwoman - that sounds fantastic... the café, I mean. Wow. I haven't had quite that experience, although I have journalled in a café and drunk strawberry black iced tea in a sofa in the window in the spring sun. (Hehe, lots of "ins" in that sentence.

) It was trés pleasant.

Jeshu · May 22, 2008

Admitting To Oneself,

Do you admit to me the presence of your truth – that cruel and uncaring form of self-hood – acknowledging your involuntariness in dealing with my life on occasions which matter so much to me – and the detestable act of having faith and hope - completely undiscerning – in a fantasy world – ignoring my hellish agony?

Do you admit - to me - the one in authority - that you have absquatulated your responsibilities continually – and that you have not relented from your ways - even when I pressed you for co-operation in dealing with urgently imperative matters maturely – yet never respecting my feelings or point of view – even during extremely turbulent and dangerous times?

Do you admit that your unwillingness and stubbornness has caused me much grief and that willingly surrendering yourself – at a much earlier date – could have molded you into something more pliable than is the case now – hardened against my attempts to achieve empiric unity?

Do you therefore admit that your position makes my life precariously unstable - and could blow-up at any time – destroying everything that has been worked and laboured for – though I put much energy and time into building all this – without you giving a hoot about all this – never – ever - at all?

Well?

“I admit.”

Gerry :wave:

Soulwings · May 22, 2008

I like it, Gerry.

How long did it take you to write it? and did it take many revisions or did you just pull it out already completed?

Thanks for sharing. :hug:

I learned a new word today, too - "absquatulated." Will have to remember that.

angelkiss · May 22, 2008

I'm glad to see this thread for I love to see the talents of others shine through. I have enjoyed reading the poetry and admiring the art that has been shared. As a poet, I feel that poetry and art go hand in hand. Which is why I created this quote:
"As the artists create the paintings that are beautiful for our eyes to behold, the poets paint the pictures that color our souls."

As I was in a manic state, I wrote a few songs. Here is one of them:

Bring on the Rain

There are places that I've been
that you may never see
As the steady winds are blowing
this storm brews inside of me
But the strong hand that guides me
will surely see me through
As I walk within this darkness
There is nothing left to do

I see the storm clouds gather
as the thunder starts to roll
Lightening flashes all around
as the droplets flood my soul
But when the rain has ended
the sun will shine once more
and I will then be stronger
than I ever was before

So bring on the rain
let me cry these lonely tears
and release the pain
As the lightening strikes
this heart cries out again
I won't give in...
bring on the rain

As everything around me rages
onto my knees I fall
I cry out in desperation
"God help me through it all"
Then this fury deep inside me
slowly starts to drift away
Though a steady rain is falling
I know I'll be okay

So bring on the rain
let me cry these lonely tears
and release the pain
As the lightening strikes
this heart cries out again
I won't give in...
bring on the rain

Copyright © 2008 - angelkiss

Jeshu · May 22, 2008

Soulwings said:
I like it, Gerry. How long did it take you to write it? and did it take many revisions or did you just pull it out already completed?

Thanks for sharing.

I learned a new word today, too - "absquatulated." Will have to remember that.

Thanks for responding to and appreciating these few verses. Yes, this one, like most of my writings, was an inspiration - this usually short creative spell knits words into the insight/understanding/perception I'm seeing - or have understood at an earlier time but not responded creatively to yet. Minor alterations at a later stage do occure but the gist of the idea always remains the same.

Yes writing is a passion in my life - I can put my often chaotic reality into a framework that makes it more tangible than when it just lives within - giving me more insight, compassion and control over my ailing self - so from that perspective it is very good therapy.

That we may keep up with the flow!

Gerry

wonderwoman · May 22, 2008

Hi gerry,

yes, writing is very theraputic. I mostly do metal work now and enjoy it better than writing. I guess working with my hands comes more natural than word-smithing for me.
The one good thing that came out of being bipolar is this gift i've found after being diagnosed. Anyway...that's another story.

By the way, your phrase: "spell knit words" is a faaaaaaaaaaantastic line. You should use it for a poem. The image of words being knit, stitched, sewn....awesome. I also like the sound and visual of "spell-knit"----it just works. Words being knit as though under a spell....good stuff.

wonderwoman · May 22, 2008

Soulwings said:
Yey, I did two streams-of-consciousness writings today, and I am pleased with how they turned out. I did get a few good phrases from them... am looking forward to "poetrifying" the stuff that I came up with. I may share the s.o.c., may not, we'll see. Do y'all want to see one? bc that really is what matters. I am happy either way.

And Wonderwoman - that sounds fantastic... the café, I mean. Wow. I haven't had quite that experience, although I have journalled in a café and drunk strawberry black iced tea in a sofa in the window in the spring sun. (Hehe, lots of "ins" in that sentence. ) It was trés pleasant.

I'm so glad you enjoyed the s.o.c exercise! Do share...i would love to see it. I think of this exercise as a way to mine for gems in a dark cave.

Another exercise that i came up with was making a list of favorite words. It's like a word bank. Some poems i've done were almost completely inspired by the list or rather i built the theme of the poem by using a selected group of words. Does that make sense?
Here are some words i like from my word bank. Also i like to use the thesaurus to "shop" for words.

[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]drone[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]warbler[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]sluggish[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]venery (love)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]victual[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]quagmire[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]burr[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]briar[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]bush[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]squall[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]palpable[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]squirrely[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]filament[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]bolster[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]quarry[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]piecemeal[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]slouch[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]subsist[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]moor ing[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]harborage[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]slag[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]slug[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]barnacle[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]lag[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]anchorage[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]bale dawdler[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]tether[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]gosling [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]blustery [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]lodged[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]stump[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]hanker (to long for)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]scowl[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]scour[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]gloat[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]portend (loom)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]emerge[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]rubble[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]rumpus[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial Narrow, sans-serif]ruse [/FONT]
[FONT="Arial]furrow[/FONT]

Bipolar Creative Writing and art

Look a little closer...you'll find the real me

Han shot first

Han shot first

Han shot first

A daughter of the King of Kings!

Han shot first

A true original.

A daughter of the King of Kings!

Han shot first

A true original.

Han shot first

A true original.

Han shot first

A true original.

Bought by His Blood

A true original.

Veteran

Bought by His Blood

Han shot first

Han shot first

Similar threads