baptism

[mommamc]

I am a Protestant and my boyfriend is Greek Orthodox. We are not married and have a 18 month old daughter. We both want to get her baptized but cannot agree on a certain church. Every time we have a conversation about this it ends with "we'll continue to talk about this later". Is there a way for us to get a daughter baptized and still hold on to our individual beliefs? We plan to raise and educate her in both religions. Please help.

 

[Meshavrischika]

I am a Protestant and my boyfriend is Greek Orthodox. We are not married and have a 18 month old daughter. We both want to get her baptized but cannot agree on a certain church. Every time we have a conversation about this it ends with "we'll continue to talk about this later". Is there a way for us to get a daughter baptized and still hold on to our individual beliefs? We plan to raise and educate her in both religions. Please help.

The baptism for Protestants from what I understand is a promise publically by the parents they will dedicate the child to God (and is not the same as baptism for an older child or adult). It is a promise from you. Do you really feel you need this to raise her in Christ? If not, I'd just pass on it and let her decide as an older child or adult.

I'm not sure what baptism means to a Greek Orthodox.

 

[Singin4Him]

The baptism for Protestants from what I understand is a promise publically by the parents they will dedicate the child to God (and is not the same as baptism for an older child or adult). It is a promise from you. Do you really feel you need this to raise her in Christ? If not, I'd just pass on it and let her decide as an older child or adult.

I'm not sure what baptism means to a Greek Orthodox.

I agree with this but I also have to add, if this is all confusing and complicated for you how much more do you think raising a childing in two religions will confuse and complicate things for the child? In theory presenting both religions and allowing her to choose is great but more often than not it causes a lot of stress and guilt on the children because they feel they have to pick mommy's side or daddy's side. Just something to think about.

 

[Meshavrischika]

I agree with this but I also have to add, if this is all confusing and complicated for you how much more do you think raising a childing in two religions will confuse and complicate things for the child? In theory presenting both religions and allowing her to choose is great but more often than not it causes a lot of stress and guilt on the children because they feel they have to pick mommy's side or daddy's side. Just something to think about.

having come from a 2 faith household... I kinda have to agree. Both are Christian... I'd pick one. Sorry.

 

[clycleader]

We had our son "dedicated" rather than baptised. Essentially the same thing, but he can then choose to be baptised when he's older and can choose for himself. This is simply a way to dedicate ourselves as well as him into Gods fold. We agreed in front of our congregation to raise him in a Christian way.
I guess it would be difficult to raise a child in two relgions. I don't know how I'd go about it. It would especially be confusing to go to one place one week and another the next. How woudl he make any friends in the church? I"d have to agree that choosing one would be best. Talk w/ your clergy about what they think?

 

[progressivegal]

Is baptism a bigger deal in one of your families?
Does one side of the family have a special tradition?

My family is Catholic and my husband's are very conservative evangelical protestants. I know. (We both share similar beliefs however and attend Quaker Meetings which do not baptize, but are not against it either if one feels led).
We have talked about having our future children baptized Catholic, because infant baptism is very important to my family. The baptism gown my grandfather wore has been worn by three generations now, and my child will be the fourth. Baptism is very important to me and my husband's kind of "meh, whatevs" about it.
Even though neither of us is a "practicing" Catholic, we will probably have our futire children baptized in a Catholic or POSSIBLEY Episcopalian church.

Also, I just wanted to throw out there (and I'm not 100% sure about Greek Orthodox beleifs on this, I'm just saying what Catholic's believe) that just because a child is baptized in a particular church doesn't mean they have to be raised as that denomination.
My cousins attend a "non-denominational" church which does not baptize infants. They decided to get their sons baptized in the Catholic church my cousin grew up in, and it was fine. Their sons attend mass when they visit theirgrandparents (they live out of state) and areexposed to Catholicism somewhat because of family, but he is not being "raised Catholic" either.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Personally, this is just me though, but I wouldn't get a baby baptized.

I think it's a personal choice and the child should have the right to decide for herself what church she wants to be baptized to once she's old enough to understand.

So my suggestion is to raise her in a Christian environment, teach her about God and how to live for Him and expose her to both religions. When she's old enough to choose, let her and respect her decision

 

[marezee]

We had our son "dedicated" rather than baptised. Essentially the same thing, but he can then choose to be baptised when he's older and can choose for himself. This is simply a way to dedicate ourselves as well as him into Gods fold. We agreed in front of our congregation to raise him in a Christian way.
I guess it would be difficult to raise a child in two relgions. I don't know how I'd go about it. It would especially be confusing to go to one place one week and another the next. How woudl he make any friends in the church? I"d have to agree that choosing one would be best. Talk w/ your clergy about what they think?

this is what we did with our three boys...they were dedicated. They can choose later if they want to be baptised.

 

[jgonz]

We dedicated all of our kids also.

You know, a friend of mine & her DH (both came from born-again Christian households, but both were very turned off by traditional religious Christianity & when I knew them were sorta new agey) dedicated their babies at home. They had a dedication party with food, etc. and stood up before friends and family and dedicated their babies to G-d~ in their own way. I didn't completely agree with all the stuff they Said, but I thought the actual idea was really cool.

 

[progressivegal]

Out of respect of the OP, I think we should remember that she and her partner have already decided to baptize their child, I think we should focus on the question at hand, not why infant baptism is right or wrong. The OP and her boyfriend both come from faith traditions where infant baptism is practiced, there is no reason to "talk them out of it". Baptism as a beautiful Christian tradition, even though many Christians see it differently. lets all respect these differences.

 

[christianmomof3]

I would suggest that you get married first.
Then pray together and do as the Lord leads you both to together about baptism.

 

[Sunset2009]

^ Why was this post reported??

 

[christianmomof3]

^ Why was this post reported??

I was reported for suggesting that the OP get married.
Apparantly someone felt that was judgemental.

This is the reason that the user gave:
This is off topic. It has nothing to do with the question asked and serves no purpose other than to judge the OP.

I am not judging the op, but this is a Christian board and I am giving the Christian view.
The parenting section is within the "Chrisitan faith" section.
Marriage is seen as a sacrament and as God's will.
It is a blessing.
Therefore, as parents seeking the Lord's will about how to raise their child, it would seem to me that getting married would help the situation and perhaps help the parents to better know the Lord's will in the situation.

 

[marezee]

Out of respect of the OP, I think we should remember that she and her partner have already decided to baptize their child, I think we should focus on the question at hand, not why infant baptism is right or wrong. The OP and her boyfriend both come from faith traditions where infant baptism is practiced, there is no reason to "talk them out of it". Baptism as a beautiful Christian tradition, even though many Christians see it differently. lets all respect these differences.

you are absolutely correct!
I appologize!

to add: I was baptized in a Roman Catholic church.
My parents raised me as Roman Catholic, then later in life i chose a different path. But it was in their hearts to baptize me, so they did. I don't have any regrets, and neither did they.

to try to answer your question, it can be difficult to decide on a church, especially if you both were brought up in different denominations.
What's to say that you couldn't baptize your DD in BOTH churches! I don't think there are any rules against this.
That way, you can satisfy both of your needs, and your baby will be doubley blessed!!

 

[Assisi]

Why not ask over in TAW (the Orthodox board) whether they have any suggestions? I'm sure there would be members who have encountered the same difficulties.

I *think* it would be important to any Orthodox Christian to baptise in an Orthodox Church because of their sacramental views. I also think that an Orthodox Christian wouldn't be keen on two baptisms. But I'm not Orthodox, so these are guesses. What are the specific problems you are finding in choosing a Church to baptise in? Could you baptise in the Orthodox Church and then celebrate in yours? Is it a practical matter of making family comfortable? Or is more a matter of how to raise the child?

 

[progressivegal]

Why not ask over in TAW (the Orthodox board) whether they have any suggestions? I'm sure there would be members who have encountered the same difficulties.

I *think* it would be important to any Orthodox Christian to baptise in an Orthodox Church because of their sacramental views. I also think that an Orthodox Christian wouldn't be keen on two baptisms. But I'm not Orthodox, so these are guesses. What are the specific problems you are finding in choosing a Church to baptise in? Could you baptise in the Orthodox Church and then celebrate in yours? Is it a practical matter of making family comfortable? Or is more a matter of how to raise the child?

Good advice. Also, I just thought of this, I believe that most protestant denominations (well those that practice infant baptism anyway) will consider an Eastern Orthodox baptism to be "valid". I'm not sure if this is true the other way around, so that might be something to think about. Can we get an EO poster in here?

 

[marezee]

Why not ask over in TAW (the Orthodox board) whether they have any suggestions? I'm sure there would be members who have encountered the same difficulties.

I *think* it would be important to any Orthodox Christian to baptise in an Orthodox Church because of their sacramental views. I also think that an Orthodox Christian wouldn't be keen on two baptisms. But I'm not Orthodox, so these are guesses. What are the specific problems you are finding in choosing a Church to baptise in? Could you baptise in the Orthodox Church and then celebrate in yours? Is it a practical matter of making family comfortable? Or is more a matter of how to raise the child?

they don't have to be aware of it!

 

[Nichole]

Hello!

I am an Orthodox Christian (converted a year ago after being a Protestant for 32 years) and fully understand how important it is to baptize your child in the Orthodox church. We have no children yet, but I know. In the Orthodox church it is a Sacrament and a very beautiful one at that. I've seen some baptisms and it is just beautiful! Can I ask if you have ever gone to Divine Liturgy with your husband? My husband became Orthodox first and one of our biggest discussions was "what will our child be raised when we have them?". I can tell you this..........you do not want to raise your child as a Protestant and as an Orthodox. You need to come together as a family and pick one and raise your child (or children) as that. We attend a Greek Orthodox parish and it is absolutely wonderful! The Greeks are wonderful and the others are just as woderful! When your child is baptized in the Orthodox church you will have to pick a nono and nona (one of each or just one or two of one). These are the child's godparents. My nonas are 2 older identical twin ladies (Greek). They are wonderful. They are the ones I turn to for questions, etc.

WOW.............I highly suggest you attend Divine Liturgy with your husband. I was so against it when my husband converted and it took me a year to even think about going with him. Once I did..........I never went back to a Protestant church. It's that beautiful.........guaranteed!

 

[Anhelyna]

I'm Catholic but I'm backing Bushmasterswife here.

This child will be the child of two people , one of whom is Orthodox .

The child should be borught up as Orthodox but yes having knowledge of both faiths.

Mind you this is not ideal - a two faith family puts a lot of stresses and strains on both partners.

By the way - the child cannot be Baptised into 2 Churches .

My view [ remember I am Catholic i] s that the Mom should start attending Church with her partner and experience the Orthodox Liturgy - it is truly beautiful and full of extracts from the Bible .

 

[Nichole]

I'm Catholic but I'm backing Bushmasterswife here.

This child will be the child of two people , one of whom is Orthodox .

The child should be borught up as Orthodox but yes having knowledge of both faiths.

Mind you this is not ideal - a two faith family puts a lot of stresses and strains on both partners.

By the way - the child cannot be Baptised into 2 Churches .

My view [ remember I am Catholic i] s that the Mom should start attending Church with her partner and experience the Orthodox Liturgy - it is truly beautiful and full of extracts from the Bible .

Well put!

As a Protestant I was baptized as an infant in the Methodist church. Later in my teen years I encountered the Pentecostal church and decided I wanted to be baptized again........so I was. I thought it was my "adult choice" to do that. When I was learning about Orthodoxy I realized that 2 baptisms are not good. Since my baptism as an infant was accepted in the Orthodox church (done in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), I only had to be chrismated into the Orthodox church.

I also agree on the raising the child in 2 churches. It does put alot of strain and stress on the marriage and family. You have to think what is best for your child here.......not what your personal preference is. Also.....it is useless to argue about it in your marriage..........that is what hubby and I did and it was very damaging for us! Not anymore, but back then it was!