The Ex

[LostUntilSaved]

I don't know who knows or who remembers but I was in a abusive relationship like 5 months ago. He abused me physically and verbally. He even left scars on my arm. I remember one time when he made my ears bleed. I can still picture the times he'd grab my neck, pull my hair, throw, punch me, slap me, grab me or whatever. I remember always being sad and hurt. I remember wondering how I could get of the situation. I lived with him for 6 months. That was when I wasn't a christian. I don't even know if I could say a have personal relationship with God right now. anyways, he texts me ever so often asking me if I will talk to him again. I text him back and try to explain what he has done to me and my heart. He doesn't see it. He sees me as the bad person who is at fault for everything. Please pray for me and him. thank you.

 

[SonicBOOM]

I'm soooo sorry that happened to you , honestly I don't know what it is that makes guys even wanna lay a harmful finger on a girl. I couldn't even say anything bad to a girl, not to mention physical harm. I hope you find peace I'll be praying for you

 

[LostUntilSaved]

I'm soooo sorry that happened to you , honestly I don't know what it is that makes guys even wanna lay a harmful finger on a girl. I couldn't even say anything bad to a girl, not to mention physical harm. I hope you find peace I'll be praying for you

thank you for your sympathy. I wonder if he'll ever see his mistakes. I tried being his friend after we broke up but he was still controlling and cold towards me so I stop talking to him. then he texts me asking if I am going to talk to him again. I don't understand him

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

nm not a good topic for me

 

[LostUntilSaved]

I'm not asking for advice. I am just asking for people to please pray for the situation. thank you.

 

[ido]

thank you for your sympathy. I wonder if he'll ever see his mistakes. I tried being his friend after we broke up but he was still controlling and cold towards me so I stop talking to him. then he texts me asking if I am going to talk to him again. I don't understand him

My advice? Don't try to understand him and know that he will not change. It's good that you got out of that situation and that you recognize that his behavior is controlling. I would make a clean break from him and ask him to stop contacting you all together - or just ignore his attempts to correspond with you.

The amazing thing about abusive people is how quickly they "forget" what has happened and how they can't figure out why you are upset/wary, etc. and ultimately blame the other person for any of the problems in the relationship.

I hope you know that nothing you did/didn't do was the cause of his behavior - he needs to own 100% responsibility for his abusive nature. I hope you also know that you are worthy of being loved and respected. Abusive people are not truly capable of loving someone - their minds are too focused on manipulating/controlling the other person to be able to love them (besides the fact that I don't think they truly love themselves).

I could probably split this thread singlehandedly with my thoughts on this subject. PM me if you want to talk more.

 

[ido]

I'm not asking for advice. I am just asking for people to please pray for the situation. thank you.

Oops..sorry, I thought you were wondering what to do about him wanting to contact you.

 

[LostUntilSaved]

My advice? Don't try to understand him and know that he will not change. It's good that you got out of that situation and that you recognize that his behavior is controlling. I would make a clean break from him and ask him to stop contacting you all together - or just ignore his attempts to correspond with you.

The amazing thing about abusive people is how quickly they "forget" what has happened and how they can't figure out why you are upset/wary, etc. and ultimately blame the other person for any of the problems in the relationship.

I hope you know that nothing you did/didn't do was the cause of his behavior - he needs to own 100% responsibility for his abusive nature. I hope you also know that you are worthy of being loved and respected. Abusive people are not truly capable of loving someone - their minds are too focused on manipulating/controlling the other person to be able to love them (besides the fact that I don't think they truly love themselves).

I could probably split this thread singlehandedly with my thoughts on this subject. PM me if you want to talk more.

I don't know why I text him back sometimes. Sometimes we don't talk for months then he texts me and I text him back. I end up getting upset and I stop texting him. After that he waits for awhile and texts again. thanks for the advice

 

[LonesomeTexan]

I'd get a new cell phone number. Get a concealed handgun license too hun. You have a right to defend yourself and it certainly isn't a sin to do so. Don't be the victim and let wicked people harm you this way. May God bless you and bring the comfort only he can bring to your soul.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

I'm not asking for advice. I am just asking for people to please pray for the situation. thank you.

I pray for YOU, that you find your inner strength and know what a beautiful child of God that you are!!!!!

You are sooooooo loved, by the Lord and you DESERVE to be treated with the upmost respect, love, & caring.

PLEASE work on yourself and heal your heart and let God into your heart and guide you.

Because once you are whole and complete within yourself & God.....you will start seeing yourself, thru God's eyes and the MINUTE someone tries to ever treat you that way again......you will walk away and never look back. (or even waste a minute texting responses)

 

[LostUntilSaved]

I'd get a new cell phone number. Get a concealed handgun license too hun. You have a right to defend yourself and it certainly isn't a sin to do so. Don't be the victim and let wicked people harm you this way. May God bless you and bring the comfort only he can bring to your soul.

I was thinking of changing my number but all the people I do business with have my number. I don't think I need a gun. I don't think he'll hurt me physically anymore. He only hurts me verbally now.

I pray for YOU, that you find your inner strength and know what a beautiful child of God that you are!!!!!

You are sooooooo loved, by the Lord and you DESERVE to be treated with the upmost respect, love, & caring.

PLEASE work on yourself and heal your heart and let God into your heart and guide you.

Because once you are whole and complete within yourself & God.....you will start seeing yourself, thru God's eyes and the MINUTE someone tries to ever treat you that way again......you will walk away and never look back. (or even waste a minute texting responses)

Thank you sweetie. you are so kind and loving. I know I have to work on myself because I still have anger and hurt in my heart. I sometimes put a wall up with people. My heart gets hard and I don't try as much as I use to with people. Usually I just give up on them if they aren't my life as a friend when I try to be there for them, they aren't there for me so I let them go. I think the more people that I try to lean on and they aren't there for me, the more I get the I don't care attitude.

 

[Wren]

I'm praying for you.

 

[BeefSupreme]

I'm praying that he wonders into a lesbian bar by mistake and crawls out with a pool cue up his rear.
Then I'm praying that as he's crawing to his car, he gets run over by bus full of nuns.

Is that good enough?

 

[Tamara224]

I don't know who knows or who remembers but I was in a abusive relationship like 5 months ago. He abused me physically and verbally. He even left scars on my arm. I remember one time when he made my ears bleed. I can still picture the times he'd grab my neck, pull my hair, throw, punch me, slap me, grab me or whatever. I remember always being sad and hurt. I remember wondering how I could get of the situation. I lived with him for 6 months. That was when I wasn't a christian. I don't even know if I could say a have personal relationship with God right now. anyways, he texts me ever so often asking me if I will talk to him again. I text him back and try to explain what he has done to me and my heart. He doesn't see it. He sees me as the bad person who is at fault for everything. Please pray for me and him. thank you.

Sorry, I know you're not asking for advice... but you're going to get it anyway.

Change your cell phone number. Do not talk to him anymore. He is not going to change. He is only going to use your compassion for him against you. He is trying to manipulate and control you. There is nothing you can do (besides pray) to change him.

Count yourself blessed that you got out of the relationship before you had kids with him and he started abusing them too.

I'm sorry to come across so bluntly and stuff. But this is serious business. Do you know how many women die every year at the hands of abusive SOs? Don't be one of them.

 

[LostUntilSaved]

I'm praying for you.

Thank you hon

I'm praying that he wonders into a lesbian bar by mistake and crawls out with a pool cue up his rear.
Then I'm praying that as he's crawing to his car, he gets run over by bus full of nuns.

Is that good enough?

ha he'd prob like being at les bar.

Sorry, I know you're not asking for advice... but you're going to get it anyway.

Change your cell phone number. Do not talk to him anymore. He is not going to change. He is only going to use your compassion for him against you. He is trying to manipulate and control you. There is nothing you can do (besides pray) to change him.

Count yourself blessed that you got out of the relationship before you had kids with him and he started abusing them too.

I'm sorry to come across so bluntly and stuff. But this is serious business. Do you know how many women die every year at the hands of abusive SOs? Don't be one of them.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to let go. I am always tempted to text him then he ends up texting me after awhile of not talking to each other, then I'm satisfied until I miss him again.

 

[Tamara224]

I don't know why it's so hard for me to let go. I am always tempted to text him then he ends up texting me after awhile of not talking to each other, then I'm satisfied until I miss him again.

Because you love him and he makes you think he needs you. He's manipulating your natural inclination to nurture and care for him. He's taking what is good in you and controlling you with it. It's not uncommon. But that's why it is vital that you make a clean break and change your cell phone number so you are not tempted in the future.

 

[LostUntilSaved]

Because you love him and he makes you think he needs you. He's manipulating your natural inclination to nurture and care for him. He's taking what is good in you and controlling you with it. It's not uncommon. But that's why it is vital that you make a clean break and change your cell phone number so you are not tempted in the future.

I don't think he does need me though. I don't know what he wants from me because he doesn't talk to me like he cares about me.

 

[ido]

Lost - If you are anything like me, you keep trying to have an amicable relationship with him b/c you want to believe that there is some good in him somewhere deep down inside. I believed that about my ex up until a very short time ago. Now, I'm done hoping to find any good in him, b/c I don't think there is truly any there. I am learning to just work with what he has to offer and to disassociate myself from him as much as possible for having two children with him.

You have the opportunity to completely cut ties with your ex b/c nothing forces you to stay in contact with him. Block his number, at the very least - if you don't change your number all together.

 

[LostUntilSaved]

Lost - If you are anything like me, you keep trying to have an amicable relationship with him b/c you want to believe that there is some good in him somewhere deep down inside. I believed that about my ex up until a very short time ago. Now, I'm done hoping to find any good in him, b/c I don't think there is truly any there. I am learning to just work with what he has to offer and to disassociate myself from him as much as possible for having two children with him.

You have the opportunity to completely cut ties with your ex b/c nothing forces you to stay in contact with him. Block his number, at the very least - if you don't change your number all together.

what gave you the strength to not need him anymore? how did you make the break?

 

[ido]

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future."

If I'm to believe this, then I have to believe that God would not want me to allow people in my life that want to hurt me or cause me pain. I had to learn to believe that it wasn't anything I was or wasn't doing that made my ex the way he was - it was all on him. Since he is not capable of having a conversation with me without trying to blame me for something, I avoid talking to him unless I absolutely have to regarding the kids.

Like it was said above, you are absolutely worthy of being loved by someone - loved, respected, and treated well. Don't settle for anything less and don't allow people in your life that aren't willing/able to treat you that way.